How to be happy? - Talk about and share guides, experiences on happiness

This is kinda fucked up advice but genuinely just choosing to be happy worked like you wouldn't fuckin believe for me. Just greet every situation with an open mind, a positive attitude and a smile and things shockingly work out more often than you'd expect.
 
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The only people who say money can't buy happiness either don't have money (cope), don't have problems money would solve (lucky), or have money and certainly won't give it away to prove their theory (liars).

God and money will solve all most problems, the rest are either untreatable disabilities (legs got blown off in war, etc) or are treatable issues (take your pills, you have clinical depression). I can't think of a single outlier aside from being extremely disfigured/ugly.

Tldr; go to church, also make lots of money
 
I’m a fairly melancholic personality. Will just say that in case I’m accused of being some Pollyanna type.
I think (barring utterly dreadful events) you choose to be happy. I’ll give people who lose entire families in tragic events a pass, I’m talking about regular level depression.
I think you’re as happy as you choose to be. I would have really pushed back on that statement a few years ago but it’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently and I have concluded that happiness comes mainly from within. You have to work at it and it’s not always easy
I’ve had some interesting conversation with a few people on here about this.
@Fek do you have some words of wisdom??
Edited to add that kids, kittens and being outdoors all help. As does eating properly and getting enough sleep and swimming outside
 
Dr. Ricearoni said:
This is kinda fucked up advice but genuinely just choosing to be happy worked like you wouldn't fuckin believe for me. Just greet every situation with an open mind, a positive attitude and a smile and things shockingly work out more often than you'd expect.
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I bet i wouldn't be able to do heroin without a positive smile

(Cool advice, it's probably something you managed to learn how to do and it's commendable imo)
 
LilyoftheDesert said:
Happiness is not a good goal to have. Happiness is really a fleeting emotion; our bodies are designed to give us a little bit of dopamine that tapers off and returns to baseline, it's supposed to motivate you to do things, like a carrot in front of a donkey, you chase the carrot, sometimes you catch the carrot and feel good for a day or so but there's no way to be happy all of the time, or even most of the time
Instead of trying to chase happiness, you should learn what your feelings actually mean. When you're not happy you're not 'depressed' or whatever, your body is telling you that it needs to do something, just like when you're hungry, your body is saying "I need food now", when you're feeling listless and dull your body is telling you it needs novelty.
You should learn how to become content with these feelings and instead of chasing happiness you should pursue more permanent feelings of accomplishment and self-fulfillment. Then you will have plenty of experiences in your memory banks that you can reflect on in moments of downtime and smile about. It solves both problems without being a retarded hippy who only thinks of happiness as an end, instead of a means.
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I enjoy the don't chase happiness and learn to accept things as is replies. But imo happiness isn't exactly a feeling but a state of being, in a way like contentment or peace.
The feeling that is usually chased would probably be described as joy.
 
I've had wicked good times communally tripping on nutmeg.
 
Hello, friends.
Otterly said:
@Fek do you have some words of wisdom??
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I would start by pointing to a couple fine examples already mentioned:
Otterly said:
I think you’re as happy as you choose to be. I would have really pushed back on that statement a few years ago but it’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently and I have concluded that happiness comes mainly from within. You have to work at it and it’s not always easy
Click to expand...
Dr. Ricearoni said:
This is kinda fucked up advice but genuinely just choosing to be happy worked like you wouldn't fuckin believe for me. Just greet every situation with an open mind, a positive attitude and a smile and things shockingly work out more often than you'd expect.
Click to expand...
That's truly the largest hurdle for most. I would wager some/many of you reading along may benefit from some more in depth discussion on the matter, so let's do a quick rundown on one aspect of it - belief. I'll hit some highlights and list some common troublesome examples along the way.

-You determine your own reality via your beliefs.
"I do not make enough money."​
"I am fat."​
"I am unworthy."​
"I am unloved."​
-Beliefs are upstream from daily mannerisms, habits, and thought patterns.
Constantly living in survival mode pinching every penny.​
Guilting yourself over daring to eat a slice of cake.​
Putting yourself down because you even try.​
Constantly placing one's self under a parent's scorn.​
-The intensity of any belief is determined by its emotional charge (whether positive or negative).
-Life will faithfully reproduce your beliefs within your own personal experience.
-You are always in control of this process.
​
You are, tho. Always - no matter the situation or moment. Identifying any underlying unhelpful belief, understanding its origins, and replacing it with one more beneficial (any desired belief) is vital to enact lasting personal growth/change. It doesn't matter how "unbelievable" is may seem to outward appearances or senses, nor does it matter if it flies in the face of all reason. So going back to our previous examples and rolling some together, we'd have something like the following:
"I thought myself unworthy of the lifestyle I wish to have."​
"I thought money was evil."​
BUT now I realize​
"I am worthy of the house I dream of owning."​
"I am worthy of that promotion. "​
"I can ask for that raise."​
​
Once the ball starts rolling on recognizing/examining one's inner beliefs and allowing those which no longer serve them to fall away, then the process quickens for a time. There will be a marked improvement in one's life in even barely engaging with these suggestions and will absolutely assist in the road to personal happiness.
A very powerful tool in this process is forgiving one's self for any past perceived wrongdoing. Sometimes this can be very difficult to accomplish or start without some outside help, but it cannot happen unless one truly desires to change. I believe most hear plenty of the idea of forgiving others for their wrongdoings or loving thy neighbor, but those are impossible until one starts with themselves first.
There is much..much more that could be said on the topic, but hopefully that helps some of you get a good start. Dare to humor the belief that you are worthy of personal happiness and life will help guide you.
 
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Fek said:
There is much..much more that could be said on the topic, but hopefully that helps some of you get a good start. Dare to humor the belief that you are worthy of personal happiness and life will help guide you.
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Very good points, I'd like to mention that I came to this realization not just by observing myself but by observing some of the truly miserable people I know. It's heartbreaking but a pattern I notice with unhappy people in my life is that they simply refuse to even try to be happy. There's this certain learned helplessness, this belief that things are just the way they are, that acts as a massive hurdle that people don't even realize you can overcome.

When you ask an unhappy person why they don't do anything about it, they make excuses. I know it's hard to escape that because I've been there myself and I was unhappy and it's not easy to unlearn that. You have to take the first steps, other people can show you the path but they can't make you walk it.
 
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-Write daily in a journal (privately, obviously). Just turning thoughts into physical reality can feel powerful and cathartic.
-Also, read old things from your journal daily. If it's very old you'll forget and be surprised at what you read sometimes. It's a trip and sometimes very cringe, other times you'll impress yourself with how correct your were in your assessments/predictions.
-This might not create insta-bliss, but it will create a good foundation for it.

Edit: I feel like this used to be a widespread and common thing people did, but social media took it's place, which is not a good substitute.
 
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Always remember that while being alive ain't always so fuckin great, it beats the hell outta being dead.
 
Make yourself strong, grab at anything you can and live virtuosly. Remind yourself daily that you deserve a good life, that a good life is a process and not a goal and work towards refining it every day that you can.
 
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