how to get a girlfriend

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In all honesty it's amusing how the modern man need guides to do basic biological things. Most advice just says: be normal or if you are a weirdo look good and have dosh/be exciting.
Of course I do think that the modern-ish dating market is a mess. On one hand people simply lack experience with other people and resort to mechanical guides to interract with people on the other hand "higher score" people simply have more options because information and people are more mobile. (Personally, I find the whole numbering people on looks dehumanising at best.)

From my experience in general common interest, being assertive and spending time together works best.
 
Find the person she hates the most and kill them. Nothing makes a woman happier than a man who loves her enough to murder her enemies for her!
 
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Your trusty Uncle Skeltal is here to give you advice, kiddo. As a married bag of bones I can tell you the best way to woo a woman.

Step 1: Approach your target quietly, no sudden movements. Women like commitement, so committing yourself to a long, silent approach is a sign of virility.
Step 2: Announce your presence on when within striking distance. Women love a confident man, so the closer the better.
Step 3: Initiate a conversation. This can be difficult but you'll eventually get the hang of it. Just don't talk about that "diaper fur" thing I found in your browser search history last month.
Step 4: Make sure to loom over her. Women like the feelings of security only a man can provide. Assert your dominance.
Step 5: Maintain eye contact at all times. People say the eyes are the window into the soul; make sure she sees what you've got to offer!
Step 6: Find a way to compliment her. Women love compliments, especially about aspects of themselves that normally get ignored. The feet are a great place to start.
Step 7: Always try to get her alone with you. You want to get to know her one on one and really show her a romantic time. Women like a man who cares about their privacy.
Step 8: If all else fails, remember this; women don't always know what they want. Maybe means yes, no means maybe. With enough persistence you'll win her heart.

With this kind of solid advice you're sure to find that cute boyfriend-free girl you've been complaining to me about not having.

Good luck on your lovequest OP, I'm rooting for you, champ!
 
Become a famous Youtuber, have a massive mental breakdown, then retreat to your basement doing nothing but Tweet about Donald Trump and how you hate yourself, producing no content but still taking people's money on Patreon.

For some reason you'll be beating them off with a shitty stick.
 
File down the teeth of some bear traps until they will just barely break the skin. Set up a trap line around places girls visit: the mall, Starbucks, McDonald's etc. Bait the traps with makeup, Coldest water bottles and fashion magazines. Check your trap lines twice a day.
 
Two fail proof ways to get a girlfriend.
1. Have loads of money, power and fame. They don't care about morality, virtue, holiness or purity or being a godly person. Just money, power and fame.
If that doesn't work I totally recommend:
2. Baseball bat + chloroform.
Some people recommend the Old Testament way of Abraham's servant relying on God to know who chicks aren't human excrement, but that takes faith and most people are too stupid or impatient to do that. Those a cup boobies and hands aren't going to fondle and hold themselves.
 
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DamageJoy said:
In all honesty it's amusing how the modern man need guides to do basic biological things. Most advice just says: be normal or if you are a weirdo look good and have dosh/be exciting.
Of course I do think that the modern-ish dating market is a mess. On one hand people simply lack experience with other people and resort to mechanical guides to interract with people on the other hand "higher score" people simply have more options because information and people are more mobile. (Personally, I find the whole numbering people on looks dehumanising at best.)

From my experience in general common interest, being assertive and spending time together works best.
Click to expand...
what do you mean be assertive?like take charge of of her and whats going on?

Mr. Skeltal said:
Step 8: If all else fails, remember this; women don't always know what they want. Maybe means yes, no means maybe. With enough persistence you'll win her heart
Click to expand...
ok so i was talking to a girl earlier.and i asked her if she was intrested in being courted,she said of course,so a couple days later i said i dont want anymore dragging around and asked if she wanted to be my girlfriend.she saidf WHAT.then said she if sorry that she is not ready for a relationship,then we agreed to still get to know eachother.so what do you think of this?
 
Go gay. Girls love having a sassy, catty gay BFF in their life. Once she sees how many dicks you're willing to take for her, she'll totally fall head over heels for you.
 
I won her from her former BF when he ran out of ready money.

Learn to count cards, OP.
 
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