- Joined
- Jun 17, 2022
Hello. I am Cornbogfitz and after years of study I have been able to nail multiple goth bitches on the reg. Now that I have retired from this lifestyle I pass my knowledge onto you.
Part 1 the approach
DO NOT ENGAGE. Your average goth is highly superficial. They are very fucking well aware of how hot they are. And often enjoy rejection and teasing. You don’t really have a chance if you approach them in a mall, or at their job as a barista. This is a slow burn. You will need to adapt to their culture. How do you do this? You will need to find the goth scene. Concerts, goth bars, etc. This would be hard if it weren’t for the fact businesses need to advertise. Once you find a place go. Be sure to have some dark clothes or something. Talking to a dude and having him introduce you to who chill people are is a good way to take the pressure off meeting people. also offering people cigarettes are is a great way to break the ice. Goth bitches also like being worshiped (not in an annoying way) one thing that worked well for me is “wow, you’re make up is crazy! How long did that take to get ready” (longest response I received was 4 fucking hours) everyone likes to feel like an authority on something. Putting them in a position where they feel knowledgable about a subject (like makeup) can get anyone excited.
Part 2 flirting
Flirting can be particularly difficult with goth girls because they can be intimidating, however I will teach you how not to fold.
A) Dancing. This is more important than you might think. everyone dances at goth spots. However there is good news. It’s easier than you think. Just imitate the female elf dance from WOW if you do it wrong it’s fine. Why is this important? Goth bitches are so horny There are flings that happen entirely on the dance floor. The 80s synth style of the music allows for much more physical contact than normal EDM club music
B) Proxies. An unfortunate reality of goth girls are 2/3 are some fat ugly they/them faggot. It’s important to be nice and still make friends with these because they are friends with the hot ones. no one gossips like goth bitches. I have had multiple “they/thems” report to me that someone was talking about me in the bathroom before. Be friendly with everyone and proxies will do the flirting FOR you. No one is your superior in EVERY way. Treat socializing like a game to figure out what that thing is and learn for them. Even if it’s something stupid like squish mellows you can use that knowledge later to impress others dumb bitches. If you have anxiety over worrying what people say behind your back just know this simple rule “every social motivation is rooted in two things. Avoiding responsibility, and not being a bitch. You can not have both. If someone has beef with you and they don’t tell you to your face. Theyre bing a bitch. And bitches ain’t shit.” In short, always be the one WILLING to communicate. This is how you avoid drama. Something common with goths.
C) Dad jokes. Idk how but this works stupid puns work SO FUCKING WELL at disarming goth women. The only conclusion I can come to is because they don’t have a dad they have never heard them before.
Part 3: personality disorders and you!
No one is more commonly fucked in the head than a goth. If you haven’t figured it out yet. They aren’t very good girlfriends. But these are the three most common personality disorders how to identify them almost instantly and how to navigate them.
A) borderline personality disorder.
The easiest way to spot BPD is identifying what’s called “splitting” one day you are the best friend that saved them the next you are actually the most manipulative SOB on the planet. This happens randomly often if they are accused or something they will play the victim by doing this. The only thing you can do is to not interact or reward their behavior.
B) bipolar disorder. Easily identified by a distinct lack of self control, and drastic mood swings. Not much you can do here. If they are in a sad spell, you can say “should I give you an ear to listen, a distraction to cheer you up, or some space to think.” If they are having a manic episode, there is a good chance they are going to be fucking someone in the bathroom in the next 10 minutes.
C) narcissistic personality disorder. The best way I can say to look out for this is 1. They constantly peacock and strut around 2. They jump to conclusions they assume are right 3. They are constantly embroiled in some bullshit drama with their closest friends. Good luck.
Part 4: Knowing your type of goth
Before you make a fool of yourself by crying “dom me goth mommy” to the wrong bitch it’s important to understand the different types of goth. The various branches of aesthetics correlate directly to what they want from YOU. And an easy way to remember what each wants is simple. Women GIVE what they WANT. Keep in mind, the following information is from experience, not speculation.
A) Scary Goth: covered in piercings, makeup, buckles and chains. Probably the most extravagant of all the goths. These like to be dominated, and are likely masochistic with rape fantasies. Get these by doubling down on confidence with out insulting them
B) Clown Goth: (Clussy) These women are into being humiliated. Probably like being spit on. It makes sense because their entire makeup scheme revolves around being made ridiculous. These like to be bullied a bit, and will likely bully you if they like you to incite a response.
C) Pastel Goth: Easily the most annoying but also more rare. Pastel goths often try to work more color and Lolita style into their aesthetic. They are brats. They want to call you daddy and be spanked. Straight up buy them shit and your in. (I never stooped this low)
D) Minimalist Goth: likely just in a black dress with black lipstick maybe a small chain belt. These are the ones that are dommy mommies. these are the hardest to lock down be easiest to handle. Get them alone by inviting them to a concert or something. Then do nothing. If they want a kiss they will grab your face.
I will be taking questions.
Part 1 the approach
DO NOT ENGAGE. Your average goth is highly superficial. They are very fucking well aware of how hot they are. And often enjoy rejection and teasing. You don’t really have a chance if you approach them in a mall, or at their job as a barista. This is a slow burn. You will need to adapt to their culture. How do you do this? You will need to find the goth scene. Concerts, goth bars, etc. This would be hard if it weren’t for the fact businesses need to advertise. Once you find a place go. Be sure to have some dark clothes or something. Talking to a dude and having him introduce you to who chill people are is a good way to take the pressure off meeting people. also offering people cigarettes are is a great way to break the ice. Goth bitches also like being worshiped (not in an annoying way) one thing that worked well for me is “wow, you’re make up is crazy! How long did that take to get ready” (longest response I received was 4 fucking hours) everyone likes to feel like an authority on something. Putting them in a position where they feel knowledgable about a subject (like makeup) can get anyone excited.
Part 2 flirting
Flirting can be particularly difficult with goth girls because they can be intimidating, however I will teach you how not to fold.
A) Dancing. This is more important than you might think. everyone dances at goth spots. However there is good news. It’s easier than you think. Just imitate the female elf dance from WOW if you do it wrong it’s fine. Why is this important? Goth bitches are so horny There are flings that happen entirely on the dance floor. The 80s synth style of the music allows for much more physical contact than normal EDM club music
B) Proxies. An unfortunate reality of goth girls are 2/3 are some fat ugly they/them faggot. It’s important to be nice and still make friends with these because they are friends with the hot ones. no one gossips like goth bitches. I have had multiple “they/thems” report to me that someone was talking about me in the bathroom before. Be friendly with everyone and proxies will do the flirting FOR you. No one is your superior in EVERY way. Treat socializing like a game to figure out what that thing is and learn for them. Even if it’s something stupid like squish mellows you can use that knowledge later to impress others dumb bitches. If you have anxiety over worrying what people say behind your back just know this simple rule “every social motivation is rooted in two things. Avoiding responsibility, and not being a bitch. You can not have both. If someone has beef with you and they don’t tell you to your face. Theyre bing a bitch. And bitches ain’t shit.” In short, always be the one WILLING to communicate. This is how you avoid drama. Something common with goths.
C) Dad jokes. Idk how but this works stupid puns work SO FUCKING WELL at disarming goth women. The only conclusion I can come to is because they don’t have a dad they have never heard them before.
Part 3: personality disorders and you!
No one is more commonly fucked in the head than a goth. If you haven’t figured it out yet. They aren’t very good girlfriends. But these are the three most common personality disorders how to identify them almost instantly and how to navigate them.
A) borderline personality disorder.
The easiest way to spot BPD is identifying what’s called “splitting” one day you are the best friend that saved them the next you are actually the most manipulative SOB on the planet. This happens randomly often if they are accused or something they will play the victim by doing this. The only thing you can do is to not interact or reward their behavior.
B) bipolar disorder. Easily identified by a distinct lack of self control, and drastic mood swings. Not much you can do here. If they are in a sad spell, you can say “should I give you an ear to listen, a distraction to cheer you up, or some space to think.” If they are having a manic episode, there is a good chance they are going to be fucking someone in the bathroom in the next 10 minutes.
C) narcissistic personality disorder. The best way I can say to look out for this is 1. They constantly peacock and strut around 2. They jump to conclusions they assume are right 3. They are constantly embroiled in some bullshit drama with their closest friends. Good luck.
Part 4: Knowing your type of goth
Before you make a fool of yourself by crying “dom me goth mommy” to the wrong bitch it’s important to understand the different types of goth. The various branches of aesthetics correlate directly to what they want from YOU. And an easy way to remember what each wants is simple. Women GIVE what they WANT. Keep in mind, the following information is from experience, not speculation.
A) Scary Goth: covered in piercings, makeup, buckles and chains. Probably the most extravagant of all the goths. These like to be dominated, and are likely masochistic with rape fantasies. Get these by doubling down on confidence with out insulting them
B) Clown Goth: (Clussy) These women are into being humiliated. Probably like being spit on. It makes sense because their entire makeup scheme revolves around being made ridiculous. These like to be bullied a bit, and will likely bully you if they like you to incite a response.
C) Pastel Goth: Easily the most annoying but also more rare. Pastel goths often try to work more color and Lolita style into their aesthetic. They are brats. They want to call you daddy and be spanked. Straight up buy them shit and your in. (I never stooped this low)
D) Minimalist Goth: likely just in a black dress with black lipstick maybe a small chain belt. These are the ones that are dommy mommies. these are the hardest to lock down be easiest to handle. Get them alone by inviting them to a concert or something. Then do nothing. If they want a kiss they will grab your face.
I will be taking questions.
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