How To Get A Lot of Money

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Theft. As in armed banditry. Find a Wells Fargo cash counting room and to plan a GTA style heist. You just need like 3 other people and a getaway vehicle. Get in and out in 3 minutes and you walk away with hundreds of thousands. Rinse and repeat. What could possibly go wrong?
 
No bull shit and for a limited time only, Dogecoin is shooting up and it's cheap as fuck. I bought $20 of it a while ago and I bought more when I found out that my purchase was worth $1500+. Or you could rob a bank or some of this other shit but there is a good chance that if you just buy some of this Dogecoin bull shit you could be rich really soon. Don't over extend yourself. Only invest what you could stand losing but dude. This shit is crazy.
 
I dunno; you help me, dude.
No, seriously, I need a lot of money right now, but I want to make it my
Have you tried whoring yourself out to a thousand fat chicks for 50 bucks a piece?
Or 50 REALLY fat chicks for 1000 bucks a piece
 
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here is one money.
 
As a legit answer, I work in a cafe and make some good money off of tips alone. I'm the only person in the cafe so I don't have to split them with anyone right now, so in the future when we hire more people it won't be quite as bountiful. But if you don't mind people too much than you can make decent money in that kind of environment.
 
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1. Venture capital. These people have stupid money and are also fucking morons that regularly invest in obvious bullshit. You just need to be able to sell them a story about how your garbage app or iot piece of shit is going to be the next whatever. I assume that either having a feel good diversity background, or just being able to fit in with silicon valley retards to hook them will help sell your story and get the investment. You will need to produce some kind of piece of shit app for your "business" and hire people to try to make whatever it is, but the thing is they actually expect most of the crap they invest in to fail! So they won't look too hard when your Grindr clone inevitably fails and you should still have a load of money from your salary as CEO. Just don't pull a Theranos and make wild promises that can be conclusively proven false (fraud).
2. Take out massive student loans for a shitty degree but then leave the country and plan on never returning. Some people do this when they realize they're in over their head and can never pay the loans back, but why not get ahead with this plan from the start and live it up for a few years for free?
 
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You literally don't have do anything, just wait and let inflation do the thing. We will all soon be multi-millionaires. Alternatively you can buy any crypto since every crypto will soon be worth $1,000,000,000,000,000. There will be no food in stores at that point but you will have a lot of "money"
 
Scamming people is very fun, engaging, and gives you alot of money.

Take a picture of you in a dress, make a kickstarter for your bottom surgery and see money fly in from gullible retards who want to have virtue points.
 
If you are hot you can get paid to fuck
Been there done that. You feel really dirty afterwards. Don't recommend.
Steal used cooking oil from restaurants, then sell it to make profit. If you can't afford the truck, just steal that too.
Most restaurants have to pay to dispose of their oil. I have a buddy who has a really successful restaurant specializing in fried foods that goes through a ton of oil. Because he has such a large reliable stream of used oil he has someone who will buy it for ten cents a gallon. He's told me that he would just give it to them but they offered to pay. Don't blame him. Steal the shit to make biodiesel and if you don't get caught get all the free oil you want and become a eco fuel kingpin.
Sell used clothing on craigslist
weirdos eat that shit UP
Better yet, be a Japanese schoolgirl and sell your used panties. I wish that wasn't a thing.
As a legit answer, I work in a cafe and make some good money off of tips alone. I'm the only person in the cafe so I don't have to split them with anyone right now, so in the future when we hire more people it won't be quite as bountiful. But if you don't mind people too much than you can make decent money in that kind of environment.
Don't split your tips ever. I've never worked for tips but I've dated and been married to those that have. Like all socialism it just encourages the lazy to be even lazier. Why be a good server when MxR will be extra good and pad your pay anyways?

It's really easy to get a job right now, but most jobs suck and don't pay well. Step one is to get a shitty job. Step two is to be really shitty at said shitty job. Step three is to get fired from shitty job for being shitty and collect $600 a week unemployment. Now you are being paid to shitpost on the farms. Good job.
 
Don't split your tips ever. I've never worked for tips but I've dated and been married to those that have. Like all socialism it just encourages the lazy to be even lazier. Why be a good server when MxR will be extra good and pad your pay anyways?
Our tip situation is that there's a bucket by the register where people can deposit tips, we don't have restaurant style table service. So when someone's shift ends the tips get split from the bucket. Even when I work with another person I end up with the better end of the deal because I work more hours and I get the afternoon crowd. But if I was doing table service I definitely wouldn't be splitting my tips with anyone, fuck that. ;)
 
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If you suck a million cocks for $1 each you'll have a million dollars.
Try to find some jews if you do this; you can charge full price, even though their dicks are half-off.

If you're looking for easy money, though, simply make a gofundme and use a picture of a "disadvantaged person". Put up some sob story, like how you're living in a homeless encampment on Apple's undeveloped property and need money to take your retarded crotch droppings to the doctor. Add something about being harassed by some cisgender horrible alt-right MAGA-hat wearing OTHER, and that cash'll just pour in.

Be careful, though: If you don't limit yourself, you could end up as vice president, getting grouped when Uncle Joe forgets you're an adult woman and not a preteen girl. Isn't that a small price to pay for being rich, though?

Alternatively, tell Jeff Bezos you've got a special space shuttle you've built for him, and when you've lured him into a dark place, beat his shiny egg-head to a bloody pulp (in minecraft) and take his wallet. Don't try this with Bill Gates though.¹




¹ https://devblogs.microsoft.com/oldnewthing/20200825-00/?p=104123
Edit: Grammar
 
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