How to take preemptive actions so that you are more likely to get custody of your child and not your ex wife?

TruthSeekingDaimon

TruthSeekingDaimon

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Feb 17, 2020
The issue is here is that the courts are biased and would never even consider you.
Yet that ex wife would likely get to handle YOUR CHILD.
And possibly make you pay her so that she has an easy time destroying your kids life.

So, for those of us who are still earning and has power over life, or even earlier,

What set of preemptive actions/protocols/rules can we set for ourselves so that when that woman finally decides to mutilate our souls by taking our children away,

She isnt having it as easy as she planned?

Is it even possible to take preparations against this disaster?
 
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In the aggregate, no, but it depends on the particular facts of each case. If an estranged wife is engaging in conduct that makes awarding custody contrary to the best interests of the child, document that conduct so as to have proof. The standard in every state court as far as I know is "best interest of the child." Any argument made by an attorney in a divorce or custody battle is to advocate for XYZ as being in the "best of interest of the child (or children)." So if an estranged spouse is drinking to excess, document that. If she is prone to have outburts of irrational anger or rage at the husband or children, document that. In addition to documenting that, any man must be dilligent in keeping his own nose impeccably clean.
 
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not making any kind of recommendation here, just showing off my piece. namaste.
 
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Video and declarations of witnesses help a lot towards custody, but a provable DV or abuse charge against her is icing on the cake. Of course, contacting a Father's Rights group for your state's specific advice makes things easier.
 
TruthSeekingDaimon said:
Is it even possible to take preparations against this disaster?
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Save the money and spend it on the kid when you get to spend time with them or, they can remember the long purposely drawn out court case that resulted in you spending untold amounts of money for 4 extra days in the year
 
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TruthSeekingDaimon said:
The issue is here is that the courts are biased and would never even consider you.
Yet that ex wife would likely get to handle YOUR CHILD.
And possibly make you pay her so that she has an easy time destroying your kids life.

So, for those of us who are still earning and has power over life, or even earlier,
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Are you ESL or schizophrenic or something?

This is nonsensical.
 
do not get married in the first place. over the past century, almost all the useful parts of marriage have been stripped away, the only benefits that remain are mundane and banal things like being able to save money on some taxes (this applies in most western and westernized countries) and very situational things like visitation rights in prison, or your wifes ability to inherit your belongings if you die before her.

if you are already married, and if the divorce is coming, then there is nothing you can do. the legal system is smart enough to know pretty much every loophole you could think of and every trick you could try to pull. the only way to avoid getting fleeced by divorce is bankrupting yourself, and remaining a penniless pauper for the rest of your life. not a very appealing prospect, so if you're not prepared to go full scorched earth like that, then don't get married.
 
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It's a bit of a tricky one. Basically collect as much evidence as possible that the (soon to be ex) wife is unfit to be a parent.
This would however put you in a bit of a awkward position, since the best way to do this would be to collect every shred of evidence of her inadequacy while you were still married to her... and if you find yourself literally keeping a dossier on your wife's every screw up before the marriage is even in trouble then maybe you shouldn't have married her to begin with.
 
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One could falsely accuse her of child abuse anonymously, have CPS investigate, and set a precedent against her that way. Not that I'd personally recommend it, but just hypothetically it's a possibility someone could act on.
 
Marry someone decent, and be a decent husband. That way you will not be divorcing.
If you can’t find anyone decent to marry and breed with, don’t do it. The choice of a woman to have kids with will be the biggest life choice you ever make in terms of happiness. Make a good choice and work to make it work. Marriage always has ups and downs
If you do divorce, do what’s best for the kids. Don’t do stuff to punish your ex, your focus is solely the children and what’s best for them. In almost all cases that is joint custody. If the ex is a danger to the children, that is a different matter entirely. But don’t take the kids to make a point or punish her. The children will not thank you long term for that. Messy divorces damage children, and children prevented from seeing a parent they live develop resentment against the parent stopping them.
The safety and well-being of your children is your goal. That’s best achieved within a stable relationship, so don’t get married to a loon, don’t be the loon or if you’re already in the situation ask what’s best for the kids, not your ego
 
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wtfNeedSignUp said:
Just want to say that I have a family member who married a woman who was okay but did a 180 once she became pregnant. Sometimes life is just unfair.
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Is she a danger to the kids or does he just hate her? If she’s had an affair, that’s scummy behaviour but it doesn’t warrant children never seeing their mother again.
He needs to be able to put his feelings about her to one side and ask what is best for the children. If she’s a drug user or alcoholic, or severely mentally Ill then supervised contact until better or clean. If she’s sexually abusive no contact ever. If she’s been an utter arsehole to the husband but is still loved by the kids then that’s an issue between him and her not the kids.
It is difficult but he needs to stand up for himself while putting the children first. Don’t let him be a doormat, but don’t let him hurt the children as a proxy for getting back at the wife. The children will not thank him for denying them their mother unless she is an active danger to them
 
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