How would you feel if you became a lolcow?

I'm giving myself credit and assuming I'd be a full blown 1000+ page lolcow, and not some tepid Byuu-style <20 page lolcow. With that in mind:

Plan A: Shut the fuck up. Silently delete anything that links to my job or professional life in any way. Nuke social media, it sucks anyway. If necessary, wait a bit then change name to something matching a moderately famous person has (a governor, a mid-popularity musician, CEO of a regional furniture store, idk something like that) so that it taints search results for me.

Plan B: If all that doesn't work and I've been fired from my job and there's no hope left then give in and monetize it!
 
Considering I am incredibly boring that will probably never happen, but if it was, I'd just disappear from the web, nobody cares about my online persona in my real life anyways.
 
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Reactions: Cheesegirl78
1. If I become aware of my online infamy.
Just accept that I'm a neuroatypical freak, and move on. Maybe give shout outs to my trolls and recognize them as the cool normie people they are. As long as I have a job and potential to be financially stable. I never care about fame. I care more about success. Maybe try to get proper therapy.
2. If my online infamy interferes with my success.
If I can't get a decent job due to my infamy, and I can't afford the therapy to make me normal and cool, I would have to seek out monetary possibilities from maybe my trolls. Maybe I can livestream myself doing requests on their behalf. Hopefully nothing disgusting or too disgusting.
3. If I can't monetize my infamy.
If I'm truly useless to such an extent that I can't even make money from weens "ironically" paying for my garbage. Or if the trolls expect me to do illegal things on camera, then I will eventually have to accept that I'm going to become homeless. With that in mind, there are two options left...
4. If time becomes money.
Maybe enjoy the things I have before the IRS takes it all away and I go on the streets.
With that in mind, I could go out like OldDirtyBtard and an hero myself before it gets real bad, but that wouldn't be kosher. Not cool at all. Hopefully I have the guts to not only live as a homeless person but try to take my misfortune as a blessing and a sign, and think of it as a spiritual opportunity to become a true christian and get as close to Jesus as possible through faith and selfless action til the day I die, not by my hand, but the natural elements. Whether those natural elements be starvation, thirst, heatstroke, frostbite, or an insane ween assassin a-log killing me for the epin win.
 
id probably be pretty upset. although i dont think id ever be so terminally online that i do things that are worthy of a thread. i just like work and play video games without spewing my thoughts on social media.
 
I would be upset and surprised, wondering who or what I upset or what the hell I did since I’ve always been careful on sites where doxing could occur, but my first course of action would be to read my thread and my article to see if I’m a mega cow ala Chantal, a medium cow like Cheebs , or if the thread has piddling interest and little info. If they were funny, I’d probably share the best bits in my circle of friends. If I’m a small cow, phone number and address changes, life goes on. If I was a medium or large cow, I would immediately private my social medias after a follower purge so that I own the means of my milk production.

After that, I’d start playing video games on stream because if I’m hated enough to get a thread then there’s people who would want to witness the autism firsthand. I would also try to turn at least some of the dang dirty trolls that like to archive things into paypiggies because access to my social media would come at a high premium and I would have to come up with a system to keep the shekels incoming so I could quit my irl job and try to get paid to be a retard on the internet.
 
I think I would feel betrayed by people from my past. Knowing how these things work I'm sure some exs and friends I parted ways from on bad terms would add to my misery. My fetish for eating spray cheese off someone's nose might go public and I would be pissed at the 19 women who may have leaked that info.
 
I found a thread for a guy who's basically a bizarro world version of myself. We have so many things in common but where I'm just a bit weird once you get to know me in his case he amps them up to lolcow levels every time and then proudly broadcasts all his fuckups to the world (and he seems to be a pedo to boot). Going through that thread was a genuinely humbling experience that triggered a bit of introspection where I had to doublecheck myself to make sure I wasn't fucking my life up without realizing it

If, somehow, I ascended to that level (minus the pedophilia) I can't even imagine what I'd do. I certainly wouldn't blame the farms for having a thread on me because I definitely get why he has a thread. I guess I'd probably try to explain myself, making things worse in the process, before DFE-ing and (hopefully) never looking back
 
I'd be a pretty boring lolcow I think. Most of my interactions are on discord/telegram. I just post art and the occasional snide transphobic comment on twitter
 
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