How would you kill the above poster?

Half-swording your head with the cross-hilt of a sword.
 
Fuck you to death through the eye with my corkscrew pig dick and then lick your brain out through the hole as you die
 
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By smothering you with a tall fucking hat filled with carbon monoxide emitting giant head lice.

Something 80's supervillain like. I know.
 
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