How would you molest the user above you

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I'd force them at gun point to post a thread titled "How would you molest the user above you" on Kiwi Farms then lock them back up in my basement for some Dutch Scratching.
 
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I'd set a lovely Christmas gift outside her door so that she felt like life was finally looking up and then sneak up behind her as she went to pick up the box, reminding her that life is terrible and violent.
 
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Give you a wet pussy from a Wet Willy.
 
I would spend months meticulously setting you up to fall for some individual I chose at random, while becoming their best friend and encouraging them to go for it. Eventually, you two will meet and hit it off.

After awhile, they'll invite you back to their apartment for drinks, where I would have already snuck in, waiting to spike their drink with an emetic poison. They'll rush off to the bathroom whereupon I'll strangle them before returning to the living room wearing their face. We'll bang, after which I'll remove the face, shout "HA HA!" and bludgeon you with a pillowcase full of overripe pears.
 
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Roll up in my rusted windowless van and ask if they want some candy. Then I drive off in disgust because they know I'm going to molest them and are totally down for that, fucking sicko.
 
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With objects selected from the Bad Dragon thread.
 
With taxidermied squirrels. And a sexual act banned in six countries (seven if you count Brazil as a country. I mean I don't, but someone probably does).
 
Knock you out cold, put you on a gimp suit and whip you around like a torturer from the middle ages while I moan loudly.
 
Not bringing back E/N in addition to having him on a leash all the time for me to yank towards me whenever I want him.
 
I'd chain him to a bed and rape him until his tearful pleas turn into incoherent blubbering.
 
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