I have a niece who wants to transition, how do I talk her down from it?

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Something that has peaked interest in my liberal friends:

The concept of gender in itself is highly offensive. Your niece is experiencing a personality and should feel comfortable embracing that without pronouns or labels. By cutting her hair short and insisting she is a boy, she is declaring that only people with short hair, only boys, will ever like the things that she likes. Only boys have short hair. She is reinforcing gender stereotypes and changing herself to fit into it.

Tell her that she doesn't need to be a boy to be how she is. It is also acceptable for her to detransition if she wants to later on, as there is no shame in changing her mind about herself later on. She will always be your family and can come to you for advice or support later on.

You may also want to talk to your sister about this same thing. What I find is that liberal people never consider the broader picture of what transitioning means for gender dynamics. We insist tomgirls and femboys look and behave as the opposite sex because otherwise they are breaking the rules for what a man/woman is. This in itself is "oppression." Your family does not have to give into that.
 
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skykiii said:
My niece herself believes in some brain chemicals shit making her want to be a boy.

Like... how do I handle this situation?
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Do you know of any deeper reason as to why she's doing this? Unhappy with her body, doesn't fit in with other girls, etc.?

Do you think she's being influenced by anyone into doing this? Whether that be peers, adults, people online?
 
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Remember that this is an emotional want, it is not logical, but gut feeling you can't talk out of. Anything you do or tell the parents to do must not set a finish line that she can work towards or an age where she is free. Right now she has a solution provided by society, and an undefined, non-specific problem. If she can better define or intellectualize the problem in her own mind, she will hopefully be more accepting of less drastic measures and able to be deradicalized.

If you can get to the root of what she is actually trying to solve or chaffing at, you may be able to guide and support her in addressing those issues more directly, helping to participate in activities, being a strong adult presence to reassure etc. at a time when invisible percieved societal pressures be crippling to a kids.

I dont wanna discount real gender dysphoria (as a general rule), though you would probably know if she really had it by now, cuz the little ones aren't subtle about it. Maybe get her to explain her body image history, if it started as a very small child or for her memory, it will be fairly distinct from a puberty driven one, and because the people pushing it don't pay deep attention to real dysphoria, they don't really coach that stuff beyond parroting tales of childish exploration, and thats usually in the mtf space.

If you want to play the transition->detransition long game (this is more of a parents thing) , be supportive in such a way that she knows you disagree with what she is doing, but you still love her and she will always have a place to come back to, a daughter with a fucked up body is still better than one dead or considers you dead. And their community is constantly telling them to cut you out, you can't gave them that opening to separate her from you.
 
I understand everyone here wants to force detransition via some form of abuse, which usually either delays the inevitable, and causes trauma, or just causes trauma, so a lose-lose situation. But if you seriously want to do it here is what you do. Find some time to talk to them, it seems you two trust each other enough to talk in earnest, so in private or whatever talk to them. Ask them what makes them feel more comfortable. Let them think about it. Let them understand the roles of men in modern society. Which there is* even I personally am against bioessentialism, there is a reality that in our modern society, men and women are expected to act a certain way. They are supposed to feel a different way. And fitting in that role, well, let's be honest, makes you a douchebag. And not fitting in that category in some way, immediately sets off alarm bells in peoples heads. There is no perfect outcome. It depends on who you want to please, the world at large, or the people around you. And even then, there is no guarantee that it works out.

Look, I don't know how earnest this transition "phase" is, how old they are, or what they believe they will achieve from this. Even amongst people who are for early transition (especially medical transition) believe that, as long as they aren't trying to kill themselves over this, it's best for them to try out their gender expression for some period of time to make sure they want to go through with this. It's not uncommon for them to realize after a couple months that it's not for them. On the other hand, if they are earnestly trans, there is no amount of trauma that will force them to stay "closeted". So it's better to accept the truth that, sometimes, they are serious. From the sounds of it right now, it probably isn't and after a few months they'll probably just revert, but that is not up to anyone to decide or force other than themselves.
 
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to really save your niece, you would first have to redpill your sister (and her husband) on the tranny question. but that is easier said than done. depending on how indoctrinated they are, it may be impossible. maybe get them one of those anti tranny books for christmas, like "irreversible damage" (that one is specifically about little girls getting roped into ftm shit) and pray that they can be swayed by that?
idk it's kinda hard to give advice on how to convince someone without knowing anything about what kind of person we are talking about
 
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Omori Boy said:
I understand everyone here wants to force detransition via some form of abuse, which usually either delays the inevitable, and causes trauma, or just causes trauma, so a lose-lose situation.
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I disagree completely. The reasons you have for transitioning come from your personal experiences and a lot of my reasons against transitioning come from my own. We have way too many stories of FtM trans-people regretting the fact that the medical establishment allowed and fast-tracked them into transitioning with life altering procedures such as mastectomies and deeper voices/hair/etc.

They can stop transitioning, but what they've already done is basically irreversible, which is why my advice is to offer support/help but delay anything medical until they're comfortably in their 20s with a fully cooked brain and somehow still want all this.

I'd even go a step further and say that my own advice may not be the best. The people that pulled their daughter from their friend group and moved states for her to miraculously recover, or those that leaned into it (such as the 4chan greentext) also seem effective.
 
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I'd simply ask her why she feels she's trans. What part of being a boy appeals to her? Why can't she do that as a girl instead? I'd emphasise that if she just wants to have short hair and wear masculine clothing, then there's no reason she can't do that as she currently is. If she wants to be gender non-conforming, then validate that.

If she says she "feels" she's a boy, then I'd probe her further. I'd respond with the fact that she's saying she has knowledge she can't possibly have, because that's what she's doing. She's saying she feels like she's something she hasn't directly experienced, and I'd try to get that to sink in. Perhaps something along the lines of "I don't know what it's like to have a vagina or breasts because I've never had them, how can you feel like you know what it would be like to have men's parts?". Try to get her to realize that she's basing her idea of what being a man is on second-hand information. This is the best approach in my opinion because it's the core, underlying philosophical flaw of transgenderism, and I've never heard anyone give a coherent rebuttal to it.

The main thing is that I'd try my best to be respectful, make it clear to her that I'm trying to understand her perspective rather than just telling her outright she's being stupid. Listen to what she has to say. You're asking her these questions because she's your family and you're concerned about her, not because you "hate trans people". Don't simply try to make her feel that's the case, that is the case. If you can't approach this from a position of genuinely trying to understand her, then don't.

The problem here though, as other people have said, is that this is your niece. She's not your daughter or your sister. And I feel like her being your niece means that she's not close enough to you that this is something you should be getting too involved with. It may be better to have this conversation with your brother instead, and suggest he discuss this with her himself. Depends on how close you feel you are to your extended family.
 
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skykiii said:
Her family kinda goes along with it--I'm the only one who really challenges it. Sadly the mom is kind of gullible and tends to believe the media at face value.
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My condolences, that is a nightmare scenario.

skykiii said:
Serious advice only please.
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Depends on her age. If she's a teenager then you can have some hope of a logical conversation with her.

If she's a little kid then she's just being groomed by society into the transgender cult and whatever is most influential in her life is what she's probably going to listen to (her friends/influencers/etc), so good luck in that in case... At that point you're probably going to get better results mainly focusing on the parents and educating them on the harms of transgenderism, but even adults need to be approached the right way because everyone's a contrarian. For Christmas get them a book or something, like "Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters".

In either case still try to talk to your niece but be wary of coming off poorly and driving her deeper into the clutches of the cult.

Regardless of the outcome, let your niece know you're praying for her and you love her, and just try to be a voice in her life that doesn't just affirm her delusions. Doesn't mean you have to or should debate and challenge her constantly, just don't contribute to her demise by bending the knee and using her preferred pronoun bullshit or alternative names. She's your niece, her name is whatever it is, and that's that.
 
Young girls who do this stuff are mostly looking for attention. So don't give her any attention, whether negative or positive. Don't use her tranny name or pronouns, but don't make a show out of "misgendering" her either. If she corrects you, say "oh ok i forgot" and continue using her normal name. If she brings up trans stuff in conversation, say "mhm interesting" and change the subject to something else. She will get bored with it once she realizes that she's not being showered with praise for being a true and valid poonman or being persecuted by evil maga chuds.
 
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Smashed & Slamed said:
This you, this as well?
I guess that didn't go well and I doubt you can pass the speech checks to fix this.
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That first thread actually was also inspired by my niece to some extent: I was bothered that her and my nephew knew about things like "Rule 34." Okay, one's a teenager (I think my nephew is just shy of being a teen) but still, when I was that age I was into fantasy kingdoms, space travel, etc. I didn't know about weird fetishes until my mid-20s. So I was looking for ways to convince the parents to put the brakes on that shit.

I have no idea why people keep thinking the second thread is sex or grooming related when the OP clearly talks about science and philosophy. That's about like seeing a book called "The Two Towers" and thinking that its about men comparing penis sizes--that anyone came to that conclusion says more about the reader than the author.
 
skykiii said:
That first thread actually was also inspired by my niece to some extent: I was bothered that her and my nephew knew about things like "Rule 34." Okay, one's a teenager (I think my nephew is just shy of being a teen) but still, when I was that age I was into fantasy kingdoms, space travel, etc. I didn't know about weird fetishes until my mid-20s. So I was looking for ways to convince the parents to put the brakes on that shit.

I have no idea why people keep thinking the second thread is sex or grooming related when the OP clearly talks about science and philosophy. That's about like seeing a book called "The Two Towers" and thinking that its about men comparing penis sizes--that anyone came to that conclusion says more about the reader than the author.
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If you can't see how your 2nd thread can be taken poorly then I don't know how you can talk your way out of this specific problem.
But I don't think you can stop a kid from trooning out by just talking to them. If it's a fad then a stern enough parent might be able to put the lid on it but it could also back fire and the kid will get "Saved" by busy body teachers and other pests. If the trooning out is caused by non social standing impetus then I doubt there is much you can do in general.
You can say your piece but the chances of it doing anything are slim, no matter the execution. The best thing you can do, especially as someone not the parent is to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. If the parents are being pressured, make sure you let them know you support them. And if the kid feels cornered give them a sign that you are on their side even if you don't agree with them.
A non verbal gesture of kindness that doesn't reinforce their behavior might be better in your particular situation.
 
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