I have been informed I am on Uncle Duty for Independence Day with impressionable kid(s) in attendance - is there an easy way to get rocket engines like pre-911?

[XYZpdq Jr.]

so over in the IRLs I have in-laws including a niece who is young and impressionable
I have been informed that my Uncle duties now include Independence Day explosives
obviously I can buy a bunch of shit that explodes but I'm open to what's the current hotness that isn't "just make napalm, bro"
if I can't come up with anything better I'm gonna fall back on some Saturn Missile Batteries, they're impressive enough in their chaos and legit mildly dangerous
I'm pretty sure they don't just sell model rocket engines like they did pre-9/11

also the kid's parents are gun nuts enough to be mad that their Random Drainage Parts And Clearly Not A Silencer got seized so I might need to really bring some A-Game for this boom

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

I wouldn’t know where to find one but it won this guy over,

 

[Grub]

I knew a guy who stole a crate of fireworks intended for a professional fireworks display. Those were pretty cool and pretty scary. Like he almost blew himself up more than once.

 

[GloryHole Stalker]

Solution...
1. Locate an undocumented migrant.
2. "Acquire," said same migrant and take him to location of fireworks (preferably in a van).
3. Affix several sticks of dynamite to migrants head.
4. Light dynamite sticks.
5. Enjoy.

Spoiler: For the record...

To the feds on the board, I don't actually endorse blowing up some illegal aliens head off with dynamite, but I remember in the mid to late 80s, during the John Gotti trial, They were talking about John Gotti's famous 4th of July fireworks on the Howard Stern show, and howard said something like, "for the finale, they strap dynamite to a Mexicans head... hoo, hoo, Robin." I always thought that was funny, lol.

 

[SNU]

Play wizards. Steal 2 traffic cones from nearby roadworks. You and the other person wear one each on your heads like a hat. Shoot Roman candles at each other while yelling "fireball". I played it as a kid and I still have all my fingers and both my eyes.

 

[AbduluCthuluZulu]

Get a cannon. No, I'm not kidding. My great uncle has a small cannon and he fires it off every 4th of july. Just make sure the lil ones plug their ears first.

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

Model rocket engines are still sold and sometimes they don’t even take any info.

The old “use a two stage engine” trick still works where you forget the second stage and instead have a very short fused m80 instead.

 

[DumbDude43]

obviously I can buy a bunch of shit that explodes but I'm open to what's the current hotness that isn't "just make napalm, bro"

how about the classic "just make thermite, bro" instead
burns bright and hot and makes an impressive mess of molten metal

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

how about the classic "just make thermite, bro" instead
burns bright and hot and makes an impressive mess of molten metal

that's just shaving down those metal burn-the-fuck out of you sparklers, right?

 

[Sock Cucker]

I have to do this:

Rockets that were legal (at the time) in South Carolina were brought to VA (not legal for that state) and resulted in someone getting their face split in two.

ER trip, two layers of stitches and a pretty girl lives with the scar.

Don't play with this shit. She was careful and behind a car, but that stupid firework drilled a hole in her face.

 

[DumbDude43]

that's just shaving down those metal burn-the-fuck out of you sparklers, right?

no you buy iron oxide powder and aluminium powder, mix them in the correct ratio, then ignite the mixture using a very high heat ignition source like a magnesium strip
it will burn at extreme heat and brightness, can damage your eyes and melt through iron. people use it for welding train tracks.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

I strongly believe that any superficially anarchic avuncular activity should be underpinned by an educational element. In addition to contributing to the development of your nieces and nephews, it may also count in y our favour should you wind up in court on arson or child endangerment charges. Bearing that in mind you will need the following:

1. Jet fuel
2. Some steel beams

 

[Polyarmory]

Too much focus on the explosions. Everyone and their unfashionable mother has flashy explosions: What you need is destruction.

I suggest buying a pinyata or two and destroying it with fireworks. Maybe shooting at it with bottle rockets if you guys have the space. You could also take the culturally enriched approach and light up some Pokémon inside the house. (As for what goes inside the pinyata, and what the pinyatas actually are, the sky is the limit.)

 

[FatMebius]

Stuff an old car door full of tannerite. Then let little Timmy and Tammy take turns shooting at said door.

 

[Fat Gay Riker]

If you have some old (or new) army men, set them up on two sawhorses covered with a plank of wood.

Build a line for each side, then add sparklers, snakes, bouncing whistlers, anything you want, the fireworks tanks are particularly good for this. Can make a game of it with the kids deciding where to place their "artillery" to land. Both sides light up at the same time, and watch the festival of melted plastic run wild.

 

[Carlos Thin]

that's just shaving down those metal burn-the-fuck out of you sparklers, right?

No, but you can use sparklers to ignite thermite

 

[AnsemSoD1]

Show them MATI.

 

[Sir Baz the Intolerant]

You can never go wrong with an old kitchen appliance and the good ol' white trash widow maker, Tannerite.

Just be prepared to lose a limb or two if you pack your chosen fridge/washing machine/dryer up with too much of it.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Depends, would it be legal to make a homemade bazooka out of some PVC piping and a few roman candles?

 

[Absolutego]

Get them to a safe distance and show them what happens when you toss a Mammoth Smoke on its side.