I made a map of lolcows in the US

[Kyle Parson]

Some current locations, going over the Internet Tough Guys board. Most OPs don't include a place of birth.

Patrick Tomlinson - Milwaukee WI
Jackie Singh - Somewhere outside San Juan, Puerto Rico
Cyraxx - Akron, OH (pretty sure he was born there)
Timothy "Glass" Jenkins - Maybrok, NY
MovieBob - Boston, MA (I think he was born there, thread doesn't say either way)
Colton "Amanda" Lochmann - Woodburn, OR
Nick Biegler/Music Biz Marty - Wheeling, IL (unconfirmed)
Shane Nokes - Portland, OR (Born in Olympia, WA)
Bathrobe Dwayne - Daytona Beach, FL
Nik Talbott - Spokane Valley, WA

Most OP's I have seen don't even include a birthday.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

A couple lesser-known lolcows that I know of:
STEELEWORLDWIDE lives in Bloomsburg, PA
Tony Flackus (last known address due to incarceration) lives in Cary, NC
MadThad0890 lives in Southfield, MI

There's a lot of states that don't have any pins. Any Hawaiian, Dakotan, or South Carolinian lolcows? Ulillillia lives in Minot, ND last time I checked but I'm not sure if he counts as a lolcow. If so, put him on the map.

 

[Rudolf's Friend]

Oddkast/Nick Stabile - Born in Denton, TX/Lived in Jacksonville, FL for about 20 years
Alex/Alejandra Caraballo - Melrose, MA.
Alyssa Mercante - Brooklyn, NY
Gone_Fishinq - Fall City, WA
Anthony Reed/Erin Reed - Born in Germantown, MD, currently lives in Missoula, MT
Adam Sessler - Born and lives in Berkeley, CA
Lindsay Ellis - Born in Johnson City TN, currently lives in Astoria, NY
ContraPoints - Baltimore MD, went to Georgetown University. I think he was born in Virginia
Chibi - Sterling Heights MI
Jim Stewartson - Redondo Beach, CA

 

[KingNothing]

Thank God, my state has none (so far).

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

That dot in the Portland area is Pamperchu, right? Jennifer Diane Reitz also lives somewhere in the PNW, probably either Portland area or Washington.

Add Jessica "NAL" Boyle to Virginia Beach too.

 

[Kyle Parson]

I don't know if we are doing dead Lolcows but Terry A. Davis was born in West Allis, Wisconsin.

 

[Norwegian Trailer Trash]

This should be two maps. One for "lives here" and one for "born here." Having both means that some lolcows get represented by two markers. I understand there's limitations on the medium of presentation and it's not exactly interested in accuracy towards sound analysis, but it'd be more revealing.

It looks to be somewhat based on population density except for slight concentrations in FL and CA (as expected since they are cornerstones in the fake ass corporate culture war that everyone loves to be baited into). I consider those states Mutation Zones because of their general political dispositions, incredibly diverse populations, industry/business, regular influx of new people and money, and geography being prone to being fucked to pieces (earthquakes, fires, hurricanes). Not even NY mutated the nation as much as those two even though it's probably as diverse and worldly a city as it gets in the US, so it stands to reason that they'd have more weirdos.

 

[NimertiS]

Can you put the dots in a map with the names of the states? We're not all Americans #freedoms_internally

 

[anliteralidiot]

Cyraxx - Akron, OH (pretty sure he was born there)

He was born in Anchorage, alaska

 

[Paintrick S Canlinson]

Polissa Campbell - Florence, Alabama. Pretty sure she was born there

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

He was born in Anchorage, alaska

Imagine adventuring through the alaskan wilderness during a blizzard, entering a cave looking for shelter, and then finding Cyraxx gnawing on the bones of a dead animal. Sends chills down my spine, man, straight out of The Forest

 

[Medic]

Imagine adventuring through the alaskan wilderness during a blizzard, entering a cave looking for shelter, and then finding Cyraxx gnawing on the bones of a dead animal. Sends chills down my spine, man, straight out of The Forest

All you can here is that long scream coming from miles away. It sounds like an escaped SCP subject or a skin walker looking for you for its next meal.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Gotta get the lard ball on that map!

Just a small update; Jack has moved since the OP was rewritten, and now resides at 2006 Highland Dr, Greenbrier, TN. Still the same general area (the locations are less than 20 miles away from each other) but, for the sake of precision, I'm letting you know.

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

Just a small update; Jack has moved since the OP was rewritten, and now resides at 2006 Highland Dr, Greenbrier, TN. Still the same general area (the locations are less than 20 miles away from each other) but, for the sake of precision, I'm letting you know.

I was practically just laughing at the new place, so I have 0 excuse for forgetting the move. Thanks for the correction.

 

[Convallaria majalis]

Is it possible for the updated map to have names with the dots, pretty please?

 

[Verdigris]

Daniel Larson - Golden CO

 

[ShahOfIran1979]

I updated it. No state will be spared.

 

[Spunt]

Do dead lolcows count? Lowtax was born in Kansas City, MO, and lived in Lees Summit, MO for pretty much his entire life. It's unknown where he's buried.

Otherwise:

Lucas Werner is in Spokane, WA, though he wasn't born there.
Acerthorn: Harrison, AR.
Tommy Tooter, Born in Chicago, IL, lives in Tucson, AZ
Jason Genova: Palm Beach, FL
TheWhiteBowser: Shelby Township, MI
Joshua Block: Born Medford, NY, Currently lives in NYC
Jake Alley: Born in New London, CT, lives in Niantic, CT

 

[legtard respecter]

suspiciously missing dot over pensacola FL

 

[lIllllIiiiiLLLLiiiiIIIIll]

Hell yeah, this is the kind of autism I love the most.

And once we add enough lolcows we'll realize it's just a normal population density map of the USA.