I was an Amazon warehouse worker, ask me stuff (Prime Day edition)

[Pol Pots Pooter]

Very interesting re Trump and 2015. Any idea how the MAGA merchandise is moving these days?

I quit before the run-up to 2020 started, but it was mostly an election year thing.

 

[Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake]

Lmao i remember working a UPS gig and we HATED Amazon prime day and peaks but at least we were unionized and lived in a state where the union had the management by the balls. I simply can't imagine working in amazon itself.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Yes, including a couple major incidents at my FC which didn't result in fatalities. Somehow.

Then you had the two bear mace incidents where kiva robots punctured the cans and released the gas into the warehouse.

But in terms of fatalities, Amazon's body count last I heard, was five linked directly to workplace activities. Two people were smooshed by forklifts, another by a pallet loader, one in a trailer yard while trying to decouple a trailer from its tractor, and one dragged and crushed by conveyance. That's over the last six years.

In my experience, Amazon's safety culture is sorely lacking. An incident, however minor, happens, and management goes completely overboard for a month or two on the safety issue directly linked to the incident. At that point, awareness fades and it's back to usual until the next incident. Safety call-outs, unless it's a major showstopper incident, tend to go completely unheeded until there's an incident.

Did they institute new and dumb safety procedures that can't be used because it takes up so much time while managers will yell about your stats or something?

Research done correlating health risks and substance abuse and energy drinks is relatively new, but at least based on my experience in my FC working in and around outbound dock workers, it can't come soon enough. I knew one individual, a tier 3, on outbound dock who'd pound a five-hour energy at start of shift, a monster on first break, a second five-hour energy during lunch, and another monster at last break. Just to keep up with his workload, and he'd end up in the hospital about twice a year for stomach, liver, and gallbladder problems. Ridiculous.

You've quit so you won't ever be graced by Lord Meth, prince of the dust, the functional junkie that works well and is fun to be around.

There used to be a guy like that a place, fantastic worker, highly skilled and nice guy but hard into partying and doing amfetamines. One morning he came in straight from his drug binge, apologizing for being a bit late, still happy as a clam he picked up a knife, lifted the giant cod at the tail and with one trained swoop filleted that fucker to the bone in one stroke, he was really good, but this time he started the cut at his own bicep.

 

[Doctor Jizzmopper]

Any horrible workplace accidents at Amazon like on the South Park episode?

Man Crushed By Forklift at Amazon in Fernley

A man from Reno was crushed to death Tuesday in an accident involving a forklift.

www.kolotv.com

I didn't work for Amazon, but I got to see the aftermath of this shit. They had two stupid-as-fuck employees at the fullfillment center without ANY PPE hosing what was left of this dude outside down a fucking drain with powerwashers, Or thanks to Amazon, I'm now a cannibal.

Worked WITH them for years, hell I remember the peak when every fullfillment center on the west coast caught fire on the same night during peak. They kept that under wraps.

 

[Etrian Autistry]

This is the best thread on Kiwi Farms currently

 

[Pol Pots Pooter]

Lmao i remember working a UPS gig and we HATED Amazon prime day and peaks but at least we were unionized and lived in a state where the union had the management by the balls. I simply can't imagine working in amazon itself.

Gotta love the Teamsters, huh? All the folks I know/knew who worked at UPS hated Amazon with a blazing passion, too.

Did they institute new and dumb safety procedures that can't be used because it takes up so much time while managers will yell about your stats or something?

Funny enough, most Amazon safety rules and procedures are actually perfectly serviceable and adequate...when/if they get enforced. The problem is they rarely do.

Funny story about drug use though. My first peak we had a group of seasonal hires who would go out to the parking lot and hotbox every break and lunch. No subtlety, no fucks given, right in front of the building in plain view, smoke billowing out the windows and doors, entire parking lot reeking of ditch weed. Not a word was said or done about it, but not one of them was offered blue badges (i.e. conversion from temp-to-hire to full-time).

Speaking of, that was one of their old scams, temp-to-hire abuse. It used to be the case they'd hire massive waves of white badges (contract temp workers), and of those that just didn't quit outright, they'd use the offer of conversion as a carrot motivator to push white badges to work themselves to the bone. Regardless how badly Amazon needed the labor, only a certain percentage of white badges would get converted, the rest would be let go, and Amazon would bring in another massive wave of white badges. I knew people who would be white badges for six months to a year and a half before they were ever converted.

They had two stupid-as-fuck employees at the fullfillment center without ANY PPE hosing what was left of this dude outside down a fucking drain with powerwashers, Or thanks to Amazon, I'm now a cannibal.

Sounds about right for what you'd expect from one of the worse FC's. As far as the Fernley location, that was RNO1 and I'm fairly sure it was closed as a result of consolidation due to the Zappos acquisition. Goddamn Zappos, I have to cut this short for now but I definitely have some stories to tell about Amazon's stupidity with Zappos.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Speaking of, that was one of their old scams, temp-to-hire abuse. It used to be the case they'd hire massive waves of white badges (contract temp workers), and of those that just didn't quit outright, they'd use the offer of conversion as a carrot motivator to push white badges to work themselves to the bone. Regardless how badly Amazon needed the labor, only a certain percentage of white badges would get converted, the rest would be let go, and Amazon would bring in another massive wave of white badges. I knew people who would be white badges for six months to a year and a half before they were ever converted.

I worked adjacent to a company that had a full hiring stop, most everyone there worked full time as temps on time-limited contracts(that were always renewed). National labor laws were such that if someone had worked full time(40h/w) for five years at the same place as a temp they must be offered employment, a perfectly sensible idea that I support. A couple of women I knew had their work hours cut down to 37.5 hours per week just two months before they had worked there (full time) for five years. It was a state owned company as well.

 

[Pol Pots Pooter]

Did Bezos use lube when he pozzed your neghole?

You know I thought I'd come back to this to make a point, mostly because it's only 90% depressing, but that 10% is funny and that's what counts. Back when Bezos was officially named the richest man in the world, basically all Amazon employees had the same idea: do the math and find out how long it takes him to make the same amount we did in a year.

The joke that went around our FC was "would you rather work a year in an Amazon warehouse, or suck Bezos' dick for twelve seconds?". Answers were definitely split, to say the least.

Speaking of dicks, this isn't so much a bitch directed specifically at Amazon so much as it is our health care system in general, but Amazon gets honorable mention for how progressive it claims to be. So, Amazon's health care plan covers what it refers to in the guide book as "transgender surgery". I thought that was a little odd a title, so I did some sniffing to figure out what that meant.

The answer I received, was basically any pharmaceutical regime or surgery, elective or not, substantially related to gender assignment or affirmation, as recommended by a licensed therapist is covered. Likewise for elective surgeries for the sake of self-esteem/emotional well-being. Now, don't get me wrong, I approve of this.

I just think it's a crock of shit I could get a rockin' pair of tits installed and covered by health insurance, but not the laser eye surgery I'd need to live without eyeglasses.

 

[Billy_Sama]

I worked adjacent to a company that had a full hiring stop, most everyone there worked full time as temps on time-limited contracts(that were always renewed). National labor laws were such that if someone had worked full time(40h/w) for five years at the same place as a temp they must be offered employment, a perfectly sensible idea that I support. A couple of women I knew had their work hours cut down to 37.5 hours per week just two months before they had worked there (full time) for five years. It was a state owned company as well.

Speaking of, that was one of their old scams, temp-to-hire abuse. It used to be the case they'd hire massive waves of white badges (contract temp workers), and of those that just didn't quit outright, they'd use the offer of conversion as a carrot motivator to push white badges to work themselves to the bone. Regardless how badly Amazon needed the labor, only a certain percentage of white badges would get converted, the rest would be let go, and Amazon would bring in another massive wave of white badges. I knew people who would be white badges for six months to a year and a half before they were ever converted.

Welcome to the new strategy to solve unemployment and still screw over working people, working them full time while making them disposable with temp law loopholes. It reminds me when a coworker of mine lived near a town where the main employment was a Tyson food plant. The offered wage increases but after certain amount of years, they would lay them off and hire them for starting position with starting wage and they would always have to accept. Pretty much any labor job worth a dam has to unionize or get screwed.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Welcome to the new strategy to solve unemployment and still screw over working people, working them full time while making them disposable with temp law loopholes. It reminds me when a coworker of mine lived near a town where the main employment was a Tyson food plant. The offered wage increases but after certain amount of years, they would lay them off and hire them for starting position with starting wage and they would always have to accept. Pretty much any labor job worth a dam has to unionize or get screwed.

That's where my story gets extra stupid. It's a Scandinavian social democratic country where THE Union and the ruling party are joined at the hip and act as one so the union didn't put up a fuss when the state owned company(ran by soc-dec appointed politicians) dicked their employees over like that. It took a brewing media scandal to make them reassess the recent re-scheduling of their works hours.

Every employee can get fucked in a hundred different ways no matter the ideals or virtues championed by management.

 

[MAPK phosphatase]

Was there much substance abuse among the workers?
What would you think would be a fair wage for someone at your position? The same as working at another warehouse doing logistics? More than that? Less?
Thanks for doing this. It's an interesting read.

 

[lurk_moar]

I have mixed feelings about Amazon workers. I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and got a degree and certification in a high demand field. If people don’t want to work in crappy conditions, they should go back to college or trade school, but then again not everybody is smart, mature, has time, or has the money for college. I hate to sound like patronizing asshole for my comments.

I am a member of the fragile, burgeoning middle class who escaped intergenerational poverty. I live in a small, isolated town that has expensive prices. I prefer to do most of my shopping online. I heard all of the horror stories about working for Amazon. I am very well aware of Amazon working conditions but still continue to shop there anyway because I like getting $1 kindle book credits for slow shipping. I fucking love my waterproof kindle paperwhite. Am I the asshole for supporting Amazon or are the working conditions of Walmart or Target warehouses better? Am I what’s wrong with America or is that Jeff Bezos fault.

P.S. Amazon needs a labor union.

 

[melty]

Thank you for this thread, this is really enlightening. I have questions!
-any estimate on the % of counterfeits? I know it's very high and probably depends on category. I'm also aware of the mixing of non stickered inventory. Some sellers have said that stickered inventory is occasionally substituted for non stickered inventory/vice versa, is this true?
-Have any fba sellers ever tried using warehouses as a personal storage unit of sorts? I never did the math but the shipping and storage fees were so low awhile back this actually seemed viable when moving. Or I guess any instance of fba sellers using the service not as intended?
-destroyed inventory.. how does this inventory usually get destroyed? Forklifts? Or exceptional workers? People having sex on top of it?
- weirdest non sex related items? Or "people actually buy this crap" moments?

 

[c-no]

Thought of working at Amazon over the summer to get some income before a family matter took priority over it. This honestly feels like I dodged a major bullet. Thanks OP for letting us know about all the fucked up shit going on in the warehouses of Amazon. I can only wonder how long it'll be before they do mandatory searches up the asses of workers to find that missing horse-shaped furry dildo that keeps getting stolen.

What other deviant shit occurred at the warehouse you worked in aside from people fucking on top of products and a worker sucking off a guy?

Any workers there besides management that managed to be utterly useless idiots or managed to be socially awkward spergs to those that just wanted to get through their shifts and get a paycheck?

Did Amazon ever bothered to fire workers stealing sex toys and the like or did they decide to just move some around?

 

[Doctor Jizzmopper]

Sounds about right for what you'd expect from one of the worse FC's. As far as the Fernley location, that was RNO1 and I'm fairly sure it was closed as a result of consolidation due to the Zappos acquisition. Goddamn Zappos, I have to cut this short for now but I definitely have some stories to tell about Amazon's stupidity with Zappos.

Naw it was closed because they made a new FC in Reno up 395 in the north valleys, it's larger. Between Chewy, Zulily, Jet and Amazon, we have the shittiest employers covered.

Am I the asshole for supporting Amazon or are the working conditions of Walmart or Target warehouses better? Am I what’s wrong with America or is that Jeff Bezos fault.

P.S. Amazon needs a labor union.

Believe it or not, Walmart warehouses aren't that bad to work for, you see, Sam didn't want his truck drivers and warehousemen to unionize, so you know what Ol Sam did?

He paid them better than the Teamsters could come up with.

Sam's kids are a bunch of cunts and need a slow assraping to death, but from what I can tell, it's better than Amazon. Are you what's wrong with America? Only if you think you are better for shopping at Amazon because you can't see the abuses to employees, instead of shopping at Walmart. I try to shop local because even if I am paying more, I know the money is going to a local wage, supporting a local person somewhere. Unless the store is complete assholes, then I just don't shop there. I haven't bought anything at Amazon in years, haven't really missed it.

 

[TerribleIdeas™]

Funny enough, most Amazon safety rules and procedures are actually perfectly serviceable and adequate...when/if they get enforced. The problem is they rarely do.

That's the story of most high-risk industries - something happens, stupid rules get created, interfere with productivity, get ignored unless management is looking to fuck someone.

Speaking of, that was one of their old scams, temp-to-hire abuse. It used to be the case they'd hire massive waves of white badges (contract temp workers), and of those that just didn't quit outright, they'd use the offer of conversion as a carrot motivator to push white badges to work themselves to the bone. Regardless how badly Amazon needed the labor, only a certain percentage of white badges would get converted, the rest would be let go, and Amazon would bring in another massive wave of white badges. I knew people who would be white badges for six months to a year and a half before they were ever converted.

Part of the excuse I bet they'd use about failing to offer permanent positions to the temps is that the temp agency gets a "buyout" from their client, for the temp worker, because the client signed a contract with the temp agency, for provision of X number of temps, at X wage. I know a lot of clients hate paying temps overtime, because they legally don't have a choice, and in many cases, have found ways to either stiff they permanent employees on o/t, or don't let them work it.

 

[Pol Pots Pooter]

Was there much substance abuse among the workers?
What would you think would be a fair wage for someone at your position? The same as working at another warehouse doing logistics? More than that? Less?
Thanks for doing this. It's an interesting read.

No problem. As far as substance abuse, about the usual shit. Wage-wise, honestly, just staying competitive with logistics jobs would be more than enough, the benefits they offer are more than enough to keep people there beyond that.

Am I the asshole for supporting Amazon or are the working conditions of Walmart or Target warehouses better? Am I what’s wrong with America or is that Jeff Bezos fault.

That's really the issue. The benefits to patronizing Amazon so vastly outweigh the drawbacks, and the cost to workers so obscure and hidden, I can't really fault people for using them. Just as long as you know the real cost, which also isn't really apparent but quite present in terms of local tax breaks, draining money from local economies, social program payouts to workers, etc.

For example, everybody loves to talk about how good Amazon customer service is, and how forgiving and generous their returns policy is. The reality is, their returns/replacement policy is the way it is, because that's the cheapest way for them to do it. They still have to pay for shipping, then pay for labor to unpack return packages, inspect goods, and liquidate or restock. If the inventory doesn't worth enough for them to recoup their cost, it's better for the bottom line to not bother. And believe me, they are hardcore about investigating and preventing return fraud.

Bezos is pure unadulterated cancer though. I think the bald bastard genuinely believes himself to be the next Alexander the Great or some shit, when the reality is he's a multi-billionaire tapeworm. Anybody who tells you they're spending a billion of their personal money on space bullshit because they "can't think" of any other way to spend their fortune is a fucking psychopath. Bitch, I could think of a half dozen ways to drop a hundred billion and do real good in the world, today. Half of them, give me a day or two and I could probably figure out a way to drop that kind of money and make beneficial programs sustainable, hell even profitable.

Did Amazon ever bothered to fire workers stealing sex toys and the like or did they decide to just move some around?

Oh yeah. They're downright bloodthirsty when it comes to loss prevention. They don't just fire people, they have them arrested. I've seen people arrested for stealing candy bars.