If Phil Was Smart - Just for funsies - Don't take this thread too seriously friend

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KillDeer said:
I could be misremembering but he talked about how his website bill is bi annually but he wasnt sure how much it cost to keep the website running because he didn't know how much 500 euros was in USD
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Phil uses invision community because he's a fucking retard and doesn't know xenforo exists.

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He's a dumbass
 
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Definitely add that to the list of things he wouldn't be doing if he were smart.

Also quite a display of how, even if he didn't have a gacha addiction, he would still be wasting the living shit out of his money. Constantly.
 
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If Phil was smart he would drop WWE Champions and play RAID SHADOW LEGENDS!!!

RAID SHADOW LEGENDS voted best mobile game of 2019! 100% Free to play* Massive multiplayer online! Epic single player story! Tons of champions to build your roster! And if you join now and enter promo code PIGROACH you get a free legendary warrior!
 
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If Phil was smart he'd admit his homosexuality and use it to get pity from people any time he's called out for doing stupid shit. Detractors would be perceived a bit more negatively due to the general perception that a gay twitch streamer was being harassed by folk, even if it's justified people often don't look into the reasons and just immediately get offended for the cause.

It'd mean a likely divorce too, but he's got a lot of male fans who, like Kat, suffer a mental illness for him to exploit.
 
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Comma said:
I haven't been following DSP very much for the past week or so, but whenever I was skipping through a recorded re-stream, he had around low-to-mid-200 viewers and was using chargebacks as an instrument to "thank" his fans for giving him money, helping him out with said chargebacks.

Checking up on the view count, it has actually been very bad the past week with him playing a lot of Nier: Automata, Paper Mario and Fire Emblem. In fact, it even was one of his worst weeks ever on Twitch since coming back to the platform, and you can clearly see the low numbers of the past week.

A graph starting at one year ago up until now:

View attachment 1539313

And one starting at the end of 2016/start of 2017 up until now:

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Only Fall Guys nettted him decent views, especially the first day he streamed it, but interest has clearly been dwindling the 2nd and 3rd time he played. You know, because DSP is boring as fuck and doesn't know how to keep an audience interested on his own merits. It really shows how insane it is how much money a couple of sad individuals are pumping into him with such a lack of general interest into what DSP's doing.

The big spike you see is from July 18th, the day after he got banned from Twitch the first time for the DMCA complaint. So this basically were people checking out the train wreck, hoping to see him get banned again live on stream. Organic growth etc.

About the chargebacks, Pigpiggo clearly shows how he has been putting the pressure on his viewers by mentioning chargebacks more and more the past few months:

View attachment 1539311

Now it's just another one of the guilt-tripping tactics he uses to rake in the disability/unemployment benefits of his wheelchair fans.

It's funny how things change, huh, DSP?

(March 2019)
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If Phil was smart, he wouldn't play 3 games at once which are of a similar type (RPGish games in this instance) and would try to actually differentiate his games.....you know.....like what a VARIETY streamer does
 
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If he was smart he would capitalize on his main draw factor and strength, which is his ability to generate massive amounts of salt and his excessive complaining. He would realize that its excessively entertaining to watch someone bitch and whine, and not worry so much whether it was detractors or fans watching. Everyone enjoys the salt. His us v.s. them mentality killed his viewer base. Noone watches DSP for the pahsitivity except for maybe 2 or 3 people. The rest want to see salt, because that is the viewer base he has accumulated for the entirety of his career. "Oh DSP is playing x game? Oh this is gonna be funny he's going to be so salty lol" is the main consensus of everyone watching DSP. Not one fucking person gives a shit about his happiness, and nor should they, he is an entertainer. He is paid to entertain, and he would be paid more if he entertained more. He is so goddamn worried about putting in just the smallest amount of effort,that he doesn't consider that it would make him more money for people to experience his natural salt.

If he was smart, he would play any Dark Souls clone available, every fighting game, and he would play every game on hard, he'd enable TTS donations and let his viewers shit on him for money. He would gain 1000+ viewers at least, and on top of his usual whales, he'd get shitposting donations through TTS. It's pure ego that holds the PigRoach back honestly, it's his own ego getting in his own way. And for what? Everyone on the internet sees DSP as a joke anyways, so what the fuck does he have to lose by dropping this persona of his where he pretends to have pride and an ego? Most of his chat there now, are there to shitpost and laugh when he fails, the same people fall asleep or complain when he plays boring, safe, easy games.
 
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The Goutsketeer said:
If he was smart he would capitalize on his main draw factor and strength, which is his ability to generate massive amounts of salt and his excessive complaining.
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Your post made me realize DSP is a shittier version of poofesure, if anybody doesn’t know he’s a guy who got an impossibly high amount of fame starting in 2019 for playing wii sports and raging at it, and is best known for screaming, raging, and his crazy excuses, and is not known for being particularly good at any game. Sound familiar?
So in other words, if Phil were smart he would do everything that makes Poofesure enjoyable and DSP annoying...stop talking about fucking money, play into the rage, focus on the gameplay, be an actually nice guy and don’t treat people like shit in real life, don’t declaw your cat...
 
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NOTE: Moved this post from General to here as it would fit better here
MoonRocker said:
Him saying he’d be popular is complete nonsense and only his gin-addled brain would convince him otherwise. Dude is a fucking moron for genuinely believing that he could be a Ninja or PDP if da trolls didn’t ruin his life.
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If Phil would've been able to take a joke and wasn't toxic to the people around him, then he could've found success as being the guy who sucks at games and gets salty (he still is, but it wouldn't be where is currently). He could've paid someone to edit his videos and make his own TIHYDP (not including the few he had someone do and were made to not make him butthurt, but what came from people like EvilAJ) I don't think he would've ever been as successful as NInja or PDP but he might've been successful enough to have actual fans who aren't the bottom of the barrel and he would focus on playing games where people think he'll do terrible at rather than doing day one views of new releases.
 
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Hadidecount1990 said:
NOTE: Moved this post from General to here as it would fit better here

If Phil would've been able to take a joke and wasn't toxic to the people around him, then he could've found success as being the guy who sucks at games and gets salty (he still is, but it wouldn't be where is currently). He could've paid someone to edit his videos and make his own TIHYDP (not including the few he had someone do and were made to not make him butthurt, but what came from people like EvilAJ) I don't think he would've ever been as successful as NInja or PDP but he might've been successful enough to have actual fans who aren't the bottom of the barrel and he would focus on playing games where people think he'll do terrible at rather than doing day one views of new releases.
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If Phil had gotten on the streaming bandwagon when it first kinda started AND was all those things you said, then maybe he would be in a much better, healthier, more fulfilling position in life.

But, Phil will never swallow his pride and stop being a complete fucking toolbelt to everyone. Hell, if he could just laugh at himself a little bit (no, not when he does a begtrospective and seal/goat laughs at inane shit), he'd be immeasurably more tolerable. However, Kim Jong Phil just can't do it. It's his brand of autism to be a colossal dick and LIMB everyone that says mildly disparaging things to hurt him in the feel-goods.
 
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He should be playing his older games, and using the tip money to try to financially recover from the bankruptcy. He shouldn't have bought Marvel's Avengers and Tony Hawk, especially after he said that only children think that the money that goes to him is automatically expendable.
 
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KingjadVCMP said:
If Phil was smart he'd admit his homosexuality and use it to get pity from people any time he's called out for doing stupid shit. Detractors would be perceived a bit more negatively due to the general perception that a gay twitch streamer was being harassed by folk, even if it's justified people often don't look into the reasons and just immediately get offended for the cause.

It'd mean a likely divorce too, but he's got a lot of male fans who, like Kat, suffer a mental illness for him to exploit.
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If Phil was smart he'd marry Mr. Papavera, whom obviously has a crush on Phil.
 
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If Phil was smart, he'd never put a EVO trip on his credit card after getting fired from Wells Fargo.
With losing the helicopter job, he'd decided to live frugal and put away the YT money into a high yield savings account and Roth.
He'd move back in with his parents after losing his Wells Fargo job, NOT go to EVO, and focus on getting his life back together.
Not being a cancer on the arcade FGC community, along with being welcomed in the FGC community.
He'd tell his fans to NOT click on the ads, so he wouldn't lose his adsense account.
 
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Phil could run one longer stream during the day instead of two with a break, allowing him uninterrupted lay around time. He is in charge of his schedule, if he is as stressed as he claims, he should schedule himself more than 1 day off a week.

Stop recording and streaming at the same time, just transfer the Twitch recording to Youtube, it would save him time on uploading the videos and he would be able to play PC games, as his CPU would not be maxed out.

Tell his wife to do the weekly errands on the days she has off, no reason Phil has to go shopping when his wife only works a part time job.
 
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Swallow your ego and make wearing your yoshi costume or sonic hat a tips goal. Nobody wants to pay $300 for you to wear fucking jeans
 
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