There's no such thing as a fair chance in life.
You've got to get them before they get you.
Believe in the bible if you want, but remember there is no place in there where God said to go forth and be stupid about it.
You are your best ally. Trust and believe in yourself.
Never start a fight, but always finish it.
History really does repeat itself. Not just in the world, but in families. Remember the stuff I tell you, or you'll do it too.
There's no position or ideology closed to discussion - not religious, political, social, whatever - and none is justification for harming others. Unfortunately, that kinda relies on everyone else not being a twat, but in an ideal world...
My runner-up is that TC should never, EVER have kids cos she'd leave them in the oven or take them to play on a motorway or something.
I would say that the world does not revolve around you. If you get insecure about "man I wonder what these people think of me?" remember that most of them are thinking the same thing about you. Their world does not revolve around you and what you do, so don't worry about them.
Always aim for the balls. That's a weak spot. Don't give a shit about what others tell you.
Never buy a console when it first comes out, that's how they bamboozle you.
When drinking at a party and a girl tries to get fiesty with you, deny them because it makes them want it more then you give it to them unless they're fat or have a ugly face.
Don't drink in the woods alone during winter, not even vodka can keep you warm.
Don't watch Naruto,SAO,AOT or bleach. Those are for plebs and fags. Watch Great Teacher Onizuka
Know the difference between hatred, bigotry, and an opinion you disagree with. Disengage from the former two, calmly and rationally discuss the latter one.
Everyone you will ever work for, be friends with or talk to will consider you worthless, even if they don't tell you. Whether you try to prove them wrong or not, they will never stop thinking you're just as disposable as tissue paper.
If they are not speaking proper english/spanish, they are not worth being around.
Prpepare for the future becase no one is going to help you but yourself once you grow up.
Accepting that everything bad that happens isn't a matter of life being unfair, but being a result of one's own choices. That is the most important lesson I teach.