If you had a time machine what time period would you go back to?

Sword Fighter Super said:
I'd fuck your mom and become you dad.
Hi, son.
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Reminds me of the one bite pizza review guy going to West Virginia. 2014, but with the knowledge I know now and definitely come up with a lot more plan b's for future employment and also find a tutor who could teach me polynomials and physics better because the teachers I had were fuckin hacks.
 
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TerribleIdeas™ said:
I'd jump ahead in time and warn the God-Emperor of Horus' impending betrayal.
And then get burned as a witch.
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The Emperor was remarkably forward thinking and hated the fervent, superstitious madness that would come to characterize the Imperium after the heresy. If he was anything, he would be a euphoric atheist; one of the things that started the chaos primarchs on the road to corruption was the Emperor flipping his shit when Lorgar and the Word Bearers converted a bunch of people to the religious worship of the Emperor.

As for the original question, I'd go back and fuck Midochondrial Eve. I'd be able to say to the entire human race "I fucked your mom".
 
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I'd go back 30 seconds and pay attention before I sit down on my dinner plate. Now there are crumbs everywhere ahh dammit

After that, maybe the 1890s to watch inventors trying to figure out powered flight. A lot of the early attempts were pretty exceptional and I'd like to egg them on.
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Assuming I could bring sci-fi level gear to keep me alive, to the beginning of time itself. Be it a big bang of random particles or spoken to existence on the spot by God himself I just want to witness it with my own eyes. And if the latter happens then I can punch Adam and Eve in the face before they fuck up the rest of existence.
 
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I'd go back in time to where you guys talking about betting on sports are going just to see the look on your dumb faces when you don't win the bets because your time traveling has altered the outcome of the events.
 
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There's a lot of times I'd like to visit in this scenario, but the first era I'd go back in time to the time of the Roman republic. There's a lot we don't know because the historical records have either been lost or never existed.
 
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The 1950's. I could hang out at the local burger joint in my hot rod and fuck Mary Sue Zelenski in the back seat. True American Graffiti kinda a shit. Life was good and a lot simpler then.
 
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Not really a time machine but I always wished that in case god and heaven exist that I can ask TPTB to show me the whole history of the universe and follow the lives of interesting people and of unexplained historical events.

So really, I'd go back to before the Big Bang and see the whole mess come about.
 
I'd cockblock my dad, leading to a paradox and eventual collapse of this universe.
 
1944 in the USA. All the healthy men were drafted and thus all the healthy women didn't have men and I would have a harem.

Plus all the awesome old time radio shows on the air.

Disclaimer: Just joking, a lot of restrictions for goods and services (little coffee, gas rationing, food rationing etc) and the war wasn't certain yet.
 
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toad_has_autism said:
1944 in the USA. All the healthy men were drafted and thus all the healthy women didn't have men and I would have a harem.

Plus all the awesome old time radio shows on the air.

Disclaimer: Just joking, a lot of restrictions for goods and services (little coffee, gas rationing, food rationing etc) and the war wasn't certain yet.
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You'd probably be put on air raid watch and going around collecting scrap!
 
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Notan Alte said:
Yall ever see back to the future? I'd just write down who wins each sporting event in the last two or so years and just go back then, get a fuckton of money from betting, and then promptly die of alcohol poisoning

But actually, I'd go to ~1995. My grandfather died a few years after 1995 and I'd like to see him. :optimistic:
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And browse the internet on a 14.4k modem. I remember it well. The most simple of gifs were top notch and you could watch dancing hamsters for hours. Or go back to 1988 and do QLink on a 300 baud modem at $2.99 an hour and get a $170 monthly bill like I did.

And watching USA up all night and Space Ghost.

Trilby said:
You'd probably be put on air raid watch and going around collecting scrap!
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My father told me about that era, if you were an younger adult and not drafted or working in heavy war industry, you were a 4F which was a badge of shame. Most millenials and spergers today would be classified a 4F (unfit for military service) except now people view it as a source or pride.
 
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toad_has_autism said:
My father told me about that era, if you were an younger adult and not drafted or working in heavy war industry, you were a 4F which was a badge of shame. Most millenials and spergers today would be classified a 4F (unfit for military service) except now people view it as a source or pride.
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I sure wouldn't, I'd be shaming them! But yeah, we really do need another war to straighten them up!
 
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Going back in modern times sucks. People will be the same but everything else will be worse, that's just annoying. It's better to go completely primitive, to really go back in time.

Lascaux_painting.jpg


Look at that shit. I would go 20,000 years back in time and check out cro magnon making awesome cave paintings and things like that. I'm also very curious what kind of jokes they had, they might not have had much of language yet but laughter predates language. Babies and apes laugh and they have no speech, so the cave-men must have laughed as well. And people making paintings like that surely have something going on upstairs.

One thing in particular I'm interested in, as a time traveling anthropologist, is the prevalence of one cro magnon lifting a big fallen tree branch off the ground while straddling it, then goes "hey, look at this" to another cave-man.
 
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Smaug's Smokey Hole said:
One thing in particular I'm interested in, as a time traveling anthropologist, is the prevalence of one cro magnon lifting a big fallen tree branch off the ground while straddling it, then goes "hey, look at this" to another cave-man.
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"Huh huh. Check it out. I've got a massive woody."
"Heh heh heh yeah good one heh heh"

Beavis and Butthead in 17,000 B.C.
 
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