If you saw someone with selfharm scars, would it bother you?

Kuchipatchi

Kuchipatchi

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Aug 18, 2018
I was at my social club yesterday and there's this new girl that joined. I sat next to her and I glanced over at her and on her arm, I noticed an absolute abundance of selfharm scars covering her forearm. They all looked old but it's quite unsettling to look at.

Then I thought, "Should I even talk to her? Do I even want to?" But why did I think that? I shouldn't judge but seeing the scars gives off an ugly image.

The girl is not the first person to have visible scars, this dude at seemed rather normal albeit shy and need a little guidance to do tasks. One of his arms were covered in selfharm scars and I was actually surprised. He didn't seem like the unhappy type let alone the self-mutilating type.

I think that if a grown adult is unable to process their distress in a harmless way, they're not good people to have in your life and if they're willing to wield a knife, what's stopping them from taking their anger out on me one day? I think we should keep the selfharm stigma about but that doesn't deter them, just makes the shame afterwards greater, like they miss the point of the stigma.

Am I being reasonable? Judgemental? Logical? Stupid?
How do you feel when you see selfharm scars? I'm talking a load of them or those deep cuts, not like a couple papercuts.
I want to know what other people think about it.
 
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What's in the past is in the past, getting surgery for scar removal is very fucking expensive and not possible in a lot of cases, I've met people that have them, though maybe not to the extend you described and it never bothered me or made me judge their character
 
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Kuchipatchi said:
I think that if a grown adult is unable to process their distress in a harmless way, they're not good people to have in your life and if they're willing to wield a knife, what's stopping them from taking their anger out on me one day?
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I'd argue that those willing to harm themselves are oftentimes the people who'll be less likely to take it out on others in violent manners, precisely because their initial reaction is to turn the blade on themselves, rather than others.
 
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Dude, I legit one saw a bunch of cut like marks on someones palms and hand area and i legit thought she were self harming but it was too weird to ask. Anyway, 30 minutes later she started talking about how she has own 3 cats with mild behavioural issues who she refuses to cut the nails of and things became instantly clear.
 
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I think that if a grown adult is unable to process their distress in a harmless way, they're not good people to have in your life and if they're willing to wield a knife, what's stopping them from taking their anger out on me one day?
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Be polite and friendly to them and you won't have to worry about that.
People like that usually have very little happiness in their lives, if they have it at all.
Chances are, their lives genuinely depend on being in that social club, don't be a dick, don't avoid them.

Very often, ordinary people avoid them while the woke weirdos pretend to be welcoming.
A sad person like that will get wrapped up in intersectionslism and such and they will be radicalized as a result.
Doing a good deed and extending a helping hand can save a person like that from trooning out.
 
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My ex had raised keloid ones on her arms and the inside of her legs, I found it kind of hot, although it could interrupt sex if she had fresh ones on her thighs

we also incorporated it into sex with bloodplay on occasion

Iron Jaguar said:
I knew an otherwise-attractive Taiwanese girl who had scars on her forearms from where she would burn herself with a hot iron.
Turns out her dad used to rape her.
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NigKid said:
What's in the past is in the past, getting surgery for scar removal is very fucking expensive and not possible in a lot of cases, I've met people that have them, though maybe not to the extend you described and it never bothered me or made me judge their character
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eh- unless they were self harming to the extreme/needed stitches the scars should be pretty faded. There are also ways to reduce scars at home- namely vitamin E oil and a good diet/staying hydrated.

if they're old scars- yes, it's fine to be friends with them. The past is in the past and they're likely in a more stable place now.

if they're new scars/new cuts- don't bother. it's a cry for help but it's not your responsibility to swoop in and give them that help.
 
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spinch said:
if they're new scars/new cuts- don't bother. it's a cry for help but it's not your responsibility to swoop in and give them that help.
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You really can't overstate that, you only have one life and unless you want to devote yourself to someone else's mission to find happiness you should not get involved with new people that have obvious pronounced mental issues.
 
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NigKid said:
You really can't overstate that, you only have one life and unless you want to devote yourself to someone else's mission to find happiness you should not get involved with new people that have obvious pronounced mental issues.
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I completely agree, but I'd like to touch on it further and add:

That's not to say that mentally ill people don't deserve love, or if that someone is open with you about a disorder they have/are aware of/are managing that you should drop them. But if someone is VISIBLY mentally ill (OBVIOUSLY unwashed, fresh self ham, morbidly obese or anorexic-skinny) then you should absolutely protect yourself. That type of thing is the human version of animals having bright colors to warn that they're poisonous.
 
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It sounds like she hasn't done it in quite awhile and is actively trying to get better if she's not taking great lengths to cover the scars. Best to not break whatever confidence she might have right now by bringing it up. Don't force yourself to befriend her, either. That won't do you or her any good.

Seeing self harm scars on someone just makes me sad that they got to a point in life where that seemed like a good way to cope.
 
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I'd think of them as being weak and/or troubled but I treat them normally because maybe they regret their behaviour and are ashamed of there scars so i won't insult them or be indiscret cause everybody got his or her reasons. Also no special favor if they act like assholes, of course.
 
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