If you saw Stephen King walking on the side of the road would you run him over with a minivan in an attempt to finish the job?

Just A Butt

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remember that time he wrote himself into his "master work" as god all as some sort of self-directed therapy to make the guy who ran him over look like a dumbass and absolve himself (King) of any blame he might share in the incident by maybe i don't know don't walk in the middle of the road you fucking dumbass i'm sorry you got crippled up but that's no excuse to stop taking cocaine and becoming a worse writer.
 
I’d send him back in time to start this wonderful chain of events:
cause stephen king went back in time and killed oswald but then he came back to the present and there were earthquakes for some unexplained plot reasons so he had to go back to the past again and reset everything but then he danced with his 80 year old girlfriend so everything was ok even though he didn't actually change anything except he got all crippled up and older (this is a real book he wrote)
 
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Stephen King is the credited writer for a number of good movies. I guess. I don't know what else he's done but I noticed the quality of these movies is more determined by their director (on a sliding scale from Kubrick to whoever did that gay time monster airplane flick).

He doesn't seem impactful or notable at all on his own.
 
I would tell him to find a MS-13 since he thinks it's a rifle.

stephen king ms13.jpg
 
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Yes he did write the scene that to show that the kids become "adults" and lose their "innocence" by having sex. I understand his reason for writing that scene as is even though he regrets it to this day.

Also the answer to the OP is: No, I would not run him over with a minivan as steven king's lot in life is to never be able to have a satisfactory ending to anything he's ever done.

There's also an absolutely ridiculous clit stimulation scene in Needful things that no woman would find pleasurable. I had phantom pains after reading it. 🤮

But the It scene was the worst thing he ever did.

I don't really care about most celebrity tweets unless they say something really hilarious. The #woke in his newer books isn't really that bad. It doesn't take away from the story. At times it's a minor annoyance. But you just roll your eyes and move on. It's just an old man trying to be cool and modern and he probably doesn't want his stories to be seen as "problematic". Maybe the success of It had something to do with it. Interesting how they memory hole the gay guy who dies at the beginning because they want to fuck Pennywise or watch him fuck whatever the hell that other monster is that they pair him with. I forgot the one.

The one issue I have about his diverse characters is that he needs to make sure you know their nationality every damn page. How many times do I need to be told someone is Mexican or Indian (dot and feather) or black?

You know what short story was pretty cool? Survivor Type. A drug smuggling doctor gets shipwrecked on a desert island that's essentially a pile of rocks and sand. He has to amputate his leg after a bad injury. And well... He is starving. It only gets worse from there.

Write more stories like that.

Nona is a good story too. Pick up a girl at a bar. Go on a demented murder spree. Lose your entire mind. Lots of rats. Simple gory fun.
 
You know what short story was pretty cool? Survivor Type. A drug smuggling doctor gets shipwrecked on a desert island that's essentially a pile of rocks and sand. He has to amputate his leg after a bad injury. And well... He is starving. It only gets worse from there.

Write more stories like that.

Nona is a good story too. Pick up a girl at a bar. Go on a demented murder spree. Lose your entire mind. Lots of rats. Simple gory fun.
His short stories are great, I agree. Survivor Type's a great nightmare fuel. The one about an 'alien' car also really seared into my memory.
The only book of his I ever read (though I watched a shitload of movies based on his books) is Firestarter, and I thought it was a good read. I also tried to read Dome but didn't finish it because of some unrelated reason.

I'm no book critic, but IMHO he's a solid modern writer. Yes he tweets some retarded shit but who cares, I only found out he has an account on X after reading all of his aforementioned works and frankly couldn't care less.
 
Yes. Used to be a big fan but his smoothbrained political takes, his autistic hatred of Kubrick while being completely hypocritical in regards to his other adaptations and his questionable at best need to put kiddy fiddling scenes in his books have made me hate the guy
I've always speculated that at some point during development of the film Shining Kubrick let it be known in one way or another that he wasn't as impressed with King's writing as one might think he was and it hurt Stephen's ego and caused him to carry a grudge.
 
I would tell him to find a MS-13 since he thinks it's a rifle.

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Yeah he is a fucking lunatic with the worst case of TDS and anti-gun I have seen on Twitter from a celeb. Real shame because I legitimately did like some of his writing. He has revealed himself as a total fucking moron over the last 8 years, though.
 
No he's too funny. I remember reading an interview where he talked about how he doesn't remember writing a bunch of his books because he was too blitzed on coke and was just churning out slop to finance 1) his coke habit and 2) his REAL writing, his masterpiece, his magnum opus, The Dark Tower. So my immediate throught was "Oh, so that's why all his books suck, his heart isn't in it and he's just doing it for the paycheck, maybe I should check out the thing he actually cares about." But then I checked out The Dark Tower and it's like a ten year old's idea of a cool story, just pulling everything you wanted to dress up as on Halloween and cramming it all into one story. Which makes sense for a cokehead. But it's very very funny to me that he bitterly shits out critically acclaimed airport goyslop that he claims to not care about while fervently trying to get people to read his autistic one-man Pathfinder campaign that may as well be written in crayon on the back of a Pizza Hut kids menu.
 
Is this before or after he did those Shining/Carrie remake movies? Or joined the AA cult? Ah, fuck, I probably would just hit him with a van. *sigh*
 
Stephen King is the only person I've ever known or heard of that was cooler on cocaine. I would run down a million current Stephen Kings to get 70s/80s King back. I miss when his books were good.
 
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