I'm getting too old for this shit.

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You'll have no problem finding someone to spend your life with. No name change needed. And as someone who worries about whether or not they fucked up having a kid...you don't have that sort of stress and responsibility on you during a pandemic, which is honestly for the better. I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for. Especially since its simply put, happiness. And despite what anyone says or thinks, you do deserve to be happy.
 
I think the best course of action is to find a way for the site to go back to its roots, but I'm not sure how that's possible in today's world where everything and anything is political and everyone is so personally invested in stupid internet drama.

As for wanting a family, dude, I get it, but I really think you need to remember that settling down and having a family is a huge life-altering deal, and like it or not, families have evolved over the years and "traditional", nuclear families have been on the decline because they're just not practical anymore. Unless one of you has a high paying job, both spouses need to work to afford and maintain a house, especially if there are children involved.

Lastly, and most importantly, don't just rush in and get married to someone you just met, because they were the first person to not immediately push you away. That would be a huge mistake and probably the biggest one of your life. And if you do get married, I strongly suggest you step away from this site because I guarantee you, it will be the downfall of your marriage. It will only bring grief upon you, and especially your family, and it will lead to a divorce.

You don't wanna go through that. Your wife doesn't wanna go through that, and your hypothetical kids especially don't wanna go through that.

You're gonna have to make a choice on what you really wanna do with your life now. None of us can make it for you. It's up to you.
 
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Oldfag here.
I enjoy my time here, as many have said it's refreshing to see a forum that encourages discussion and differences in opinion. I feel you've done a good job handling things, especially given the unfair reputation of this site as some sort of internet boogeyman and yourself as Super Mega Hitler.

You gotta do what's best for you. Your happiness and sanity are worth far more than providing a bunch of exceptionals with a place to argue about Orange Man. Whether we shut down, change hands, etc we can always find another corner of the internet; you only get this one life.
 
Even though I still have fun with this site, I've certainly noticed a change into the more political that's been slowly eating at this site. A lot of people whose posts I enjoy get whipped into a frenzy when you even mention orange man, on both sides mind you. I'd honestly just nuke politics from this site, or try to find some way to minimize it. Considering how political everything is now though, that'd be hard. Egh.
 
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Null, I don't have much to add that no one else can say. I'm late to the site. I find it funny you mention Something Awful in your post. Maybe I'm part of the problem, but that's where I came from: after I found this site and started spending time on it, I started spending less and less on Something Awful because I felt at home here. This is a forum where I could get things I liked from Something Awful while also being able to truly express myself, without fear of some retard banning me. This site's free speech culture is why I keep coming back, and why I slowly started moving away from other forums such as Something Awful where I still have active accounts.

Unironically and legitimately, I honestly view you as a heroic figure. When I first started lurking and created an account, I thought the whole living in the Ukraine thing was some weird in-joke. Having spent more time on this site. I can honestly say I couldn't possibly imagine putting myself in your circumstances to keep some web forum running. I'm too comfortable in my own life circumstances and probably too much of a coward. I can only offer you my support in terms of the Brave tokens I send you. As long as this site is running and Brave offers the tokens, I intend on continuing.

I hope you can find what makes you happy, dude. I'm in my mid 20s. I have at this point a stable career and hoping to have a home soon. I've always been an individualistic person, but lately the COVID shit and the insanity going on in America has made me more and more wish I had a family and a church I could use to live a stable peaceful life. If that's the goal you want out of life, I believe you can find it and pursue it with the same drive that has led you to make so many sacrifices for this site. Raising a family successfully is hard work, but I doubt it can come close to what you've gone through keeping this site running. I hope that desire is compatible with the continued existence of the Kiwi Farms. If not, best wishes to you and thanks for the years of entertainment you have enabled.
 
I can feel some measure of Null's pain. After I erased much of my online presence and spent less time arguing politics and the economy with brainwashed numbskulls who lack the attention span to even contextualize anything that didn't happen less than a month ago, I realized that not only did these people not care about my wellbeing at all, I was wasting hundreds or even thousands of man-hours that could have been spent on far more productive things.

I've been fucking around online since the dialup era, and I don't even recognize the internet anymore. The internet of the late 90s and on through the 00s was fun. It wasn't infested with political correctness and people weren't constantly at each other's throats. Creativity was allowed to thrive without limits. Then, the social media giants came along and they caged everyone and turned the whole thing into a shitty, gentrified amusement park. As an act of rebellion against this trend, I once tried starting my own pro-free-speech forum. An XF board on a VPS, just like this one. Everyone called me a Nazi sympathizer. Right away, people tried harassing me on my own board, to the point where I eventually had to block Tor users. The whole experiment crashed and burned a mere couple months after its inception.

I have a buddy of mine IRL who's a real tinfoil-hatter. Older fellow. I once tried showing him my Minecraft builds, many years ago, at the height of that particular fad. He gave me this disappointed look and said "It's not real". I didn't understand at all. I was so fully committed to the virtual world, buildings made out of voxels were as real to me as ones made out of wood, or concrete, or bricks. In my head, there was no distinction between the virtual and the real. Virtual worlds were, from my point of view, natural extensions of real spaces, as autistic as that might sound. This guy sat me down, and he explained to me how the powers-that-be want people anesthetized to their worsening conditions of life. How they want people investing themselves in virtual hobbies as a substitute for real ones, and meanwhile, our real space is shrinking, with people living in apartments comparable to prison cells.

He asked me which I'd rather have; real acreage with my own garden, or a fake virtual greenhouse with fake, inedible plants. He asked me if I wanted imaginary achievements or real achievements, fake skills or real skills. I thought his argument sounded like the most Boomer thing I'd ever heard, at the time. It struck me as rather backwards. After all, a virtual environment is more environmentally-friendly than taking over actual space to realize one's ambitions. You don't have to disrupt any ecosystems or despoil any pristine land when you build a virtual LEGO castle. I had, since long ago, drank the VR kool-aid. I thought we were all going to be wearing augmented-reality goggles and drawing graffiti on everything and checking out other people's art installations with our GPS-enabled phones.

But now, I'm starting to see it. I'm starting to see just how much we've been denied.

Nobody actually talks with each other anymore. Notice that? You can have four people sitting together in a room, and every last one is staring at their phone. To check their updates. To see how many "likes" they got. To get that dopamine hit they desperately need, before promptly depressing themselves with another hit of fatalistic, sensationalist news coverage.

People are defined less by who they are and more by what they buy. There are iPhone people and Android people. Microsoft or Sony. Tesla or Toyota. After the nuclear family was broken up, after religion was debased and destroyed, and after communities were atomized, the only remaining sense of affiliation was to brand name products. Identitarianism arose as a reaction to a state of life utterly devoid of genuine identity.

The more people find out about each other, the less they like each other. Everyone has to obsessively tweet out every little goddamn thing about their lives, down to the tiniest, most boring minutiae, just because they can't handle the stress of keeping it in, and because they feel that they're important enough that other people absolutely must know that they ate Chalupas or walked their dog that day.

In modern society, you can be surrounded by thousands of people and still feel utterly alone. Irrelevant. Insignificant. Less than an insect.


There are no great individuals anymore. No great speakers, no great thinkers, no hero scientists, and no wise statesmen. The only way to be heard is to be swept up in a fad. To surf the waves of the latest flavor of the month, only to be replaced by the next one when people get bored and start looking for another distraction, which our corporate media readily provides to them.

This is worse than Idiocracy. So much worse. People can't even see the walls of our prison. Not only were we not handcuffed and jailed, we walked into this social media Skinner box ourselves, we reached through the bars while holding the key, and we locked ourselves up in our cells. We didn't even have to be coerced. We went along with all of this willingly.

It's infuriating.
 
It’s surprising how many of us are in a similar situation wanting to leave the internet behind for a simpler life but not having the money to do so so we are stuck
at this point my plan is to just start working hard, live modestly, and just save. i was going to school to get a useful degree but its been pretty fucked because of the shutdowns and now riots. i have no idea when ill be able to go back.
if you want to live vicariously there is a great youtube channel of a man named justin rhodes. farm, wive, and 4 beautiful children. his stuff is nice to watch when im depressed living in this city.

what i can say is regardless of how youre living now there is always some way for you to practice before taking the plunge. things like gardening or raising small animals have multiple benefits like making some extra cash and just helping mentally. i started raising rabbits not too long ago and have gotten much fulfillment from them.
on top of that i would also recommend looking into the first time farmers loan that the usda offers to first timers and veterans. its a loan that can be used to purchase land, housing, and tools, and has an extremely low interest rate.
 
Even though I still have fun with this site, I've certainly noticed a change into the more political that's been slowly eating at this site. A lot of people whose posts I enjoy get whipped into a frenzy when you even mention orange man, on both sides mind you. I'd honestly just nuke politics from this site, or try to find some way to minimize it. Considering how political everything is now though, that'd be hard. Egh.
Quickest way to get replies and ratings is to say something liberal in A and N. It’s common knowledge at this point.
 
Even though I still have fun with this site, I've certainly noticed a change into the more political that's been slowly eating at this site. A lot of people whose posts I enjoy get whipped into a frenzy when you even mention orange man, on both sides mind you. I'd honestly just nuke politics from this site, or try to find some way to minimize it. Considering how political everything is now though, that'd be hard. Egh.
He could always start another bloodletting.
 
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...But what else are you going to do? You've said it yourself numerous times; your reputation has been irreparably damaged by your association with the site. There's no undoing that damage. If you leave Kiwi Farms, or close it, take it down, whatever, what comes next? You still won't be able to get a job.

You've given up so much for this site, that I daresay it's too late to walk away.
 
Just as Champthom (was that his name?) passed control of the site to you when he retired, Why don't you pass control of the site to someone else (or do you not have anyone to pass it to)?

Edit: I believe Champthom passed control of the site to you, not the site itself. Edited post to reflect this.
 
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Null I for one enjoy your site and appreciate your efforts. I feel you about your existentialist dread. I'm just into my early 30's and I feel that my hasn't yet started. All I can suggest is take a break from the site for awhile. Things have been very crazy with Corona and now BLM.

Maybe, you could redirect the KFs back to lolcows, instead of allowing political bs on here? I miss your vids about lolcows.

(p.s, I'd be happy to make babbies with you)
 
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