I'm so close to losing it lol (1st world problem bitching)

Didn't read any of that, but congrats if you lose it, if not, don't worry, it'll happen when it's the right time and person
 
cauliflour is lame said:
I want to just quit college
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Not what you want to hear, but your parents are paying for a piece of paper that proves you're not retarded. Finish what you started. You can fall apart afterwards.

All of this will get easier as your brains mature further. Do consider seeing a therapist or something, though. The Internet is not qualified to treat whatever is wrong with you.
 
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cauliflour is lame said:
I can't kill myself
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I'm glad you mentioned this, as now I know I can tell you to kill yourself as much as possible without running the risk of you actually killing yourself.

You are a worthless bitchass nigger. Your life is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're just gonna keep coming back. Why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you bitchass nigger.

Your life is nothing, you serve zero purpose. You should kill yourself ⚡️NOW⚡️
 
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You said that this is one of your only outlets, but you can't just come to KF and share all your problems. That won't work.
You're newer so let me give you some tips:

First you have to sperg for a little bit so you get a thread. Then the users who didn't care about your problems before will start obsessively collecting every single thing you post online (you don't even have to post directly to the website), then they'll psychoanalyze whatever you write and theorize the ways you might be able to fix your life. If you show up and act intentionally dumb they'll always try to talk to you too, it will go on for hundreds of pages at a time.

So try that instead.

And as for your problems first you need to chill out and silence your mind for a bit when you get like this, hysterical self loathing is really retarded and isn't going to help. Also find someone to talk to irl: they'll be able to deal with this much better than strangers on a screen, and there are loads of other people out there going through similar stuff who'd commiserate.
 
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cauliflour is lame said:
I barely use this website so I figured this was the closest to any kind of venting board. I feel more like shit now as I can't talk about video games on 4chan. Anyway, feel free to cyberbully me: I deserve it.
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Don't talk about your personal life again, and you can talk about video games here. We have a vg section of the board, it's OK.
 
cauliflour is lame said:
I want to just quit college and spend my life making games
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Get a few little journals and start jotting plans and ideas. If you have even a basic background in comp sci, you'll quickly realize that every matter in development is a matter of translating the means of what you have available into the ends of what kind of behavior you want to obtain. From the smallest scale to the largest scale, everything can be reduced to inputs/outputs.

Studying programming patterns can be a very useful way of keeping code organized as well. This is ultimately just an extension of determining the right tool for the job.

I can also tell you're a neurotic fuck, if it wasn't clear enough from your ventposting on KiwiFarms of all places. I probably shouldn't have incentivized this OP with a proper reply to begin with, but, to say the least, I do get where you're coming from. Consider skimming this thread. As for the rest, just thug that shit out until you're able to start buying 12 packs. Or you could also be honest with your parents or someone else you trust and figure out how to get your shit together in a healthier way.

56 others said:
I've been feeling like burning it all down lately but the I drink a beer and I feel better
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Real
DRINK.png
 
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At some risk of giving actual advice, it sounds like you need some actual friends. College is by far the easiest place in the adult world to make them, so I'd give you these pointers:
  • Try Magic the Gathering or a similar in-person game like that. Lifelong friendships are often made in such games, and most people will be there for the same reason you are.
  • Don't worry about looking awkward in front of other people. Just power through it. If the person you're talking to is worth befriending, they'll be patient with you.
  • Related to the above: Many people in your situation identify with their social ineptitude. Don't. It's not "who you are", it's an obstacle in the way of what you want. It's like someone with no legs: They can either complain about it all the time and refuse to do anything, or they can use a wheelchair until they grow some new legs.
  • With regard to "powering through it", MtG or similar can also be easy because it's a lot of people who aren't particularly "respectable", so it's much easier not to be self-conscious around them. If you're in the situation where your mind goes blank, and you just can't speak, perhaps being around MtG dorks will loosen your tongue. It helps that their lifestyles will be at least as embarrassing as your own.
OR:
  • Just accept that you'll be suffering. Half the misery is fighting it.

I don't really think the OP is real, but I take this kind of thing as a challenge.
 
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