- Joined
- Mar 16, 2020
This may be a weird thought that went through my head. I've seen two relationships crash because the woman ceased to respect their man, and coincidently also two where the man did not respect their woman. However when I thought about what respecting their partner meant, it looked like a very different thing. It got me thinking that though it both uses the word respect, it does not actually mean the same thing.
So I'm just curious to hear from some others, especially personal experiences and people around you, and not so much internet people or mind theories.
For example, in one case a guy after he lost his job and became miserable made his girlfriend completely lose respect for him. Now he wasn't a complete lazy bum as you sometimes hear. He ended up doing a significant part of the chores and would do basically anything she asked, from how they both told it anyways, as well as some things she didn't ask, like fix stuff around the house that could be improved. They also didn't really lose their friendship. But she did talk about how she lost attraction to him. They tried to work on it, but to some degree him acquiescing to that seemed to make her lose respect for him as well, and I can kinda see it. He had become like a puppy in some ways, lovable, but very much a softie. After about a year of that they ended up splitting up over it. She ceased to respect him, feel that danger and attraction like before when he was a locally successful metal artist.
I also know a woman that divorced her husband in a pretty mean way; she lined up a house to move to, had told two of their three growing up children about her plans about 6 months in advance, and after she had spent a year doing almost nothing but spending the inheritance from her dad, moved out in a complete surprise move to him. Now that's how I first heard the story from his side. Of course there was griefing and depression involved. But having been over frequently I also knew the other side of the story: he was treating her impossibly. He wasn't listening to the things she cared about. They were on opposite ends of Covid, with her disagreeing with the whole mainstream narrative and him agreeing to it. Two of their three children were vaccinated, but as a surprise to her when she came home. Their marriage was in complete shambles with him just doing stuff and never discussing it, never resolving disputes together. I think more than anything what wrecked their marriage was him not looking out for her best interest as well. How she ended things was pretty shitty, but considering how I imagine he would have blown up (verbally) and her generally being a very go-along kind of person, I kinda understood why to a small degree. I guess you could call it not respecting her, but it's not really the same thing is it?
I wonder what other people think about this and curious to hear your thoughts. Is respecting a male partner the same thing as respecting a female partner?
So I'm just curious to hear from some others, especially personal experiences and people around you, and not so much internet people or mind theories.
For example, in one case a guy after he lost his job and became miserable made his girlfriend completely lose respect for him. Now he wasn't a complete lazy bum as you sometimes hear. He ended up doing a significant part of the chores and would do basically anything she asked, from how they both told it anyways, as well as some things she didn't ask, like fix stuff around the house that could be improved. They also didn't really lose their friendship. But she did talk about how she lost attraction to him. They tried to work on it, but to some degree him acquiescing to that seemed to make her lose respect for him as well, and I can kinda see it. He had become like a puppy in some ways, lovable, but very much a softie. After about a year of that they ended up splitting up over it. She ceased to respect him, feel that danger and attraction like before when he was a locally successful metal artist.
I also know a woman that divorced her husband in a pretty mean way; she lined up a house to move to, had told two of their three growing up children about her plans about 6 months in advance, and after she had spent a year doing almost nothing but spending the inheritance from her dad, moved out in a complete surprise move to him. Now that's how I first heard the story from his side. Of course there was griefing and depression involved. But having been over frequently I also knew the other side of the story: he was treating her impossibly. He wasn't listening to the things she cared about. They were on opposite ends of Covid, with her disagreeing with the whole mainstream narrative and him agreeing to it. Two of their three children were vaccinated, but as a surprise to her when she came home. Their marriage was in complete shambles with him just doing stuff and never discussing it, never resolving disputes together. I think more than anything what wrecked their marriage was him not looking out for her best interest as well. How she ended things was pretty shitty, but considering how I imagine he would have blown up (verbally) and her generally being a very go-along kind of person, I kinda understood why to a small degree. I guess you could call it not respecting her, but it's not really the same thing is it?
I wonder what other people think about this and curious to hear your thoughts. Is respecting a male partner the same thing as respecting a female partner?
