In the context of a romantic relationship, does respecting a woman mean the same thing as respecting a man?

[David Brown]

The tradwife SAHM is the ultimate luxury belief

Kinda sad that the "ultimate luxury" is still blood, sweat and tears raising a family instead of.... Actual luxury.

I'm not sure, but I think it's roughly correct. Feel free to cite examples that prove the opposite. This is one of those things that should be easy to disprove if it's false.

Feel equally free to cite examples that prove your own claim lol

 

[Smashed & Slamed]

I think the first sign of real respect and more importantly acting like an adult is not playing fuck fuck games and trying to play it off as "woman/man/ares/extrovert" behavior.
At the end of the day as a person with full faculties and free will you can choose to work in the best interest of this person you are trying to build a life with or be a petulant child and ruin it and then blame anyone but yourself. Men and women do carry eccentricities but those come with the territory.

 

[The Ugly One]

You cannae have it both ways, though.

I understand that young men are saying they don't want a dependent, they don't want to be a paycheck or a simp or a beta cuck or whatever, and they want a life partner who earns well now and who will also not "sit at home on her ass not working once we have kids" blah blah. You know the exact kind of chat I mean.

But young dudes can't insist on that and also insist that whether or not Cindy can find the money to go to Taco Bell is irrelevant. Because either it is relevant in looking for a life partner, or it's not. Either way has consequences. If you don't care whether or not a lass can earn a decent sum, that's fine, but yes that is going to keep you a wageslave until death and also going to cost you mightily in the divorce.

On the other hand, if you do select a partner for having a decent career, you can't be crying into your Miller Lite fagwater five years later that wifey no want to tradwife and no want stay home with kids and expect you do own laundry. And you also know exactly the kind of whinging I mean here too.

And what I see is people trying to have it both ways. It either matters or it doesn't. But the young woman cannot be in two places at once, and she can't simultaneously not be an economic millstone and not go to work.

I think honestly there is a heavy amount of kool-aid drinking going on amongst the young folks about the economic reality of them pairing off and having a family in the next few decades. The tradwife SAHM is the ultimate luxury belief and the overwhelming majority of dudes can't afford her. They certainly cannot afford to divorce her once they have her.

I think what young men actually want is to jack off, sleep with whomever, and play video games until they're thirty, and then adulthood magically happens in a flash, and what young women actually want is to instathot, sleep with whomever, and buy shoes until they're thirty, and then adulthood magically happens in a flash.

It's not really working out for either sex.

 

[isalaide]

I think what young men actually want is to jack off, sleep with whomever, and play video games until they're thirty, and then adulthood magically happens in a flash, and what young women actually want is to instathot, sleep with whomever, and buy shoes until they're thirty, and then adulthood magically happens in a flash.

It's not really working out for either sex.

The Hurtful Truth Level has been exceeded for Deep Thoughts for today

 

[Inside your walls]

I thought the same and I thought that was clear from what I wrote that it wasn't just the job loss, but the response to it as well. Though I think what also happened is that she was taking too much charge of what he should do about it, and instead of not taking that too seriously, he tried to follow where she led him for a bit. It's one of those instances where women think they're helping, but they end up sabotaging the relationship by bitching up their guy. I mean he took the bait... but still.

If that's the case I think the reason why she took in charge is because she felt like she had to otherwise her ex would just keep sulking, did he ever mention to her any ideas or paths he considered taking? If he didn't it's very likely that's what compelled her to get more aggressive with this, but if he clarified a specific path or said something innocuous like "I'm thinking of trying x.." it's very likely that she took that to the very extreme.

But I don't really think this is exclusively something women do. If I do come off as bit inquisitive or questioning about this situation it's due to seeing so many situations where the man is ranting how his girlfriend is controlling and demanding him to get a job while trying to get him to try work and it's just a woman on her knees literally begging that guy to get a job, even something temporary such as working in retail or something as he keeps job searching for a better job.

Oh 100%. He was unbearable in general back then. I almost cut contact with the guy. Their separation made him re-evaluate and made him a better person. For her the opposite, she's become very bitter, tries to turn the kids against him and ends up turning them against her instead. They rarely want to go to her. She used to be one of the sweetest people I knew.

That sounds very rough. They both seem like troubled people, while I think it's good that he improved, it's sad that his self-improvement was at the expense of his ex-wife's personality. Hopefully she gets help too.

 

[community member]

I think we need like 1,052 more thinkpieces about women in the kiwi farms deep thoughts subforum before you guys will finally identify all the sacred truths and gamer your way into total wamman success

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

cannae

I don't want to join the genderspergout here but I just want to ask you to speak American like a proper fucking human, please.

 

[Trump's Chosen]

If that's the case I think the reason why she took in charge is because she felt like she had to otherwise her ex would just keep sulking, did he ever mention to her any ideas or paths he considered taking? If he didn't it's very likely that's what compelled her to get more aggressive with this, but if he clarified a specific path or said something innocuous like "I'm thinking of trying x.." it's very likely that she took that to the very extreme.

I think exactly the same. I'm not 100% sure, but I was under the impression that he didn't take many paths. It's true she got a bit more aggressive, and it's also true that she's repeating the pattern of her parents (mother high performing professional that can be a bit too businesslike in her own life, father very charming musician that everybody likes, but also is a bit of deadbeat).

I mean she isn't happy about her being more active about making plans and contributing into the relationship and their children, but I think the killer to their relationship is that she lost her attraction to him. She almost started an affair. I guess I wasn't clear, they haven't split up yet, it just looks like their relationship is doomed to me. Though I suppose that is also repeating her parent's pattern, who staid together only for the children at a vital point (though also after the children left home, though I'm not quite sure what their relationship is lile now: I haven't seen them together in years, but also saw either of them rarely).

On the whole I think the lack of attraction (from her wanting him) is the biggest threat to their relationship, and I think him not having drive, passion or direction is what killed it. Thinking about it like this, I guess those were under what I thought of as "respect".

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

Regular sexual access to a woman is all he requires to "be happy".

As a penis-haver I can say this is patently untrue.

I also want her to cook, do laundry, all the rest of the housecleaning, as well as listen to me say how much I hate my coworkers and that I would set my boss on fire with my mind if I could. I also must like going to my job and not see it as a soul-crushing daily act of masochism, as well as have at least one cat and/or dog. I must also have at least 1/2 of my free time to myself. With all that, I could be happy.

For my part I will handle all the automotive/IT/electrical/plumbing/structural including appliances, the services attached to them, and the various required essential service providers, as well as the outside of the house and attached property. I will also supply regular penis access and be willing to listen to her talk about her bitch coworkers, the friends she has but somehow also isn't thrilled about at the same time, and how her parents are retarded.

That all seems reasonable, doesn't it?

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I respect women.

 

[Trump's Chosen]

I will also supply regular penis access

You're a saint.

How the fuck are you going to look after your kids when your sole provider is in the grave. This has happened to women throughout history and continues to happen. You have to have a safety net.

Life insurance. If I recall correctly the first non-market insurance was invented in scotland, as a way to take care of widows and their children.

And what I see is people trying to have it both ways. It either matters or it doesn't. But the young woman cannot be in two places at once, and she can't simultaneously not be an economic millstone and not go to work.

I agree, but I have never heard guys whine about women being a dependent. Does that happen a lot outside of my view?

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

I read someone describe the female role in society as that of a child. Never truly punished beyond stern words and never really applauded and accepted for a great deed beyond "Aww, it'll go on the fridge". The few women who are truly respectable are those who want to achieve without help, whereas most I come upon happily accept a new job, being the eyecandy diversity hire, or sorta wishy-washing it through a collaborative project to get a great grade. Probably because they're used to riding their femininity to achieve things in life they would otherwise not. Which is fair, cause why not? Imagine being told at every corner "Aight you get the last slot, but only cause you got that fat hog!". Men would love that too.

But you can truly, truly tell when women are upset at being catered to because of this fact. Usually in how they also hate women for being dumb broads instead of ruthlessly siding with all women against men in all scenarios, even stranger women vs. male 'friends'.

 

[isalaide]

I agree, but I have never heard guys whine about women being a dependent. Does that happen a lot outside of my view?

Everywhere men gather, online or offline, to speak about their domestic lives. See for example, literally every relationship-adjacent or RP adjacent subreddit.

The complaint goes, he works all the time and the kids are at school all day and what is she doing with her time, and she earns nothing, and it's not fair. Or, she earns practically nothing due to working part time or working a shittier job, and this puts so much pressure on him to provide for the family, and it's not fair.

Plus, the eternal complaint, he can't afford to divorce her because she's been a SAHM and that means she's entitled to some/more alimony, and she hasn't brought in 50% of the family's earning during the marriage but she's going to get 50% of the marital assets in a community property jurisdiction.

I hear the same bitching offline, although in that case it's mostly a whine about either her working only limited hours, or a huge chunk of her salary going to childcare.

There is additionally a real lack of understanding that when you make another adult in their twenties (especially) or their thirties your economic dependent, the effects on their career, education, and future earning potential are for life. Even if you, say, graduate from the same law school at the same time, but five years in she takes, say, a ten year career break until all the kids are in school but you keep working solidly full time the whole way through, your career progression continues whilst hers stalls and in reality falls back. Someone who has been out of even a highly trained profession for ten years is basically fucking useless. (Medicine is maybe the only exception here.) Her chances of even stepping back into the job she had ten years ago are shit, and even if she pulls that off, she can never catch up to you in earnings. If she has to retrain and take a lower paid job, she will earn even less in comparison. She will contribute less to a pension, and will have lost ten years pension contributions on top of that.

So she will be your financial dependent not just while she is a SAHM, but for the rest of her fucking life including into retirement. You will never stop having to provide for her.

She will never be able to pull 50% or even near that in the household finances, and if that's not something you can live with, you can't afford for her to stay at home even when the kids are small. People need to grasp this basic shit before they make decisions about having a stay at home parent.

 

[Trump's Chosen]

Everywhere men gather, online or offline, to speak about their domestic lives. See for example, literally every relationship-adjacent or RP adjacent subreddit.

Now I know you must be exaggerating, because I would have heard it if men everywhere speak about it that way. It's quite believable that redditards need the reality of earnings of a 10 year hiatus spelled out to them. I don't know why anyone subjects themselves to reading reddit to begin with.

I appreciate you answering the question though and I'll take from you that this does happen.