Injuries thread

I have plenty of injuries, but I’ll just stick with the three main ones.

The first injury comes from me being a defiant little kid. I was jumping on the bed until my mother told me to stop. I decided to make one last jump, and bounced right off the bed and into the rocking chair. It left me unconscious and left a scar over my left eye.

This second one involves me riding a hobby horse. It was old and a bit rusted, but it still functioned, and 3-4 year old me didn’t care about that. I ride on it, bouncing like crazy until a spring broke and penetrated my throat. It was extremely close to my trachea. That left me with a small scar on my throat.

The third one was a result of a friend playfully swinging me around, and accidentally letting go, causing me to fly into a desk. It left a nasty knot on my head, and I had to get staples for it.
 
A few days after summer break started while I was still in school, I went to a trampoline park with my sis. I grew up with a trampoline in my backyard and overestimated my skills on them. It had been years since I used one but I used to do backflips and shit on them all the time. I believe I was trying to do a backflip, but I ended up gaining too much altitude and I landed funny on my leg.

... The loudest snap echoed across the entire building. I was on my back and I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t stand up until I looked at my leg. At first I wonderd what this strange white thing on my leg was, until with the most horrifying realization that it was my bone. My tibia bone to be exact. So, in horror I stare at my leg dangling at a 90° angle and bleeding everywhere, a whole bunch of eyes staring at me, my bone jutting out. My instinctual reaction was to stay calm and keep the leg elevated, which I guess was a good thing. They cleared the area out quickly and had some people take me away on a stretcher.

... So yeah. I had a compound fracture of my tibia and fibula bone on my left leg. It has left a gnarly scar where the bone impaled my leg, it almost looks like a lizard’s silhouette. Also, had to get a titanium rod put into my tibia through my kneecap to keep the bone together while it healed. I still have that in me as well as 4 screws.
 
-my ingrown toenail was raw and gross for a few weeks after its partial removal
-got a corneal abrasion that lasted for 2 days but those 2 days were hell
-when i was little i was running around the house and i slipped and split my lip on the door. got a tiny lip scar that disappeared over time
 
I slipped on some ice while I was in middle school, landed on my ankle wrong, and broke it. The break was circular.
 
Working and washing dishes at my job recently, had to reach for my sponge in the water, only to get greeted by a shard of broken glass right in my hand. I had to verify again that it was indeed a broken glass... It's healing up quite quickly.

When I was still a baby, I had a TV that fell down on me... Very fun. Also hit my skull on a metal bar at my elementary school, they had to remove it for safety reasons.
 
The worst one I remember is in grade school, during PhysEd. We were outside, running on gravel. I fell and scraped up my knees (was wearing shorts).
I also once got a gash on my little toe from walking into the corner of the washing machine.
 
Fell of bike (scar), fell down stairs (scar), got kicked in ribs at Slayer concert (fracture), jumped out of second story window (fractured pelvis), got pushed headfirst into a wall (head egg) (also reason for jumping out window), hopped a fence and landed in a rotting woodpile (scar), slammed shin into trailer hitch (scar), punched a wall (knuckle shifted, never healed right), got into a fight (scar above eyeball), fell off hammock (another head egg), and very recently, got drunk and woke up with lower rib pain (probably bruised).

I am old so I am sure I am forgetting some.
 
The worst injury happened to me when I was 5 years old in kindergarten. At recess one day a couple of my friends and I got the bright idea to try and climb up the slide the wrong way by climbing up the slide part instead of the ladder, you know dumb daredevil shit little kids try to do even when you tell them not to you'll hurt yourself. I got halfway up the slide lost my balance and fell off the slide and broke my right arm. I don't remember much of the incident other than the fact it hurt like a bitch and riding in an ambulance to get treated with my teacher accompanying me to the hospital. According to my mom, the school called her and the secretary told her; "Your daughter has been in an accident please hold.". That scared the shit out of her and she was so mad and screamed at that secretary "Don't you ever tell me my daughter is hurt and then put me on hold!".
 
I got my foreskin jammed in a zip when I was a kid, like properly stuck in there. I had to be taken to the hospital where the staff had to dismantle the zip and ruin my trousers because I had become one with the zipping mechanism. That stung a bit.

Also when I was a kid, I leant back in a deck-chair, foolishly expecting it to be locked in the seated position. It was not and the moment I leant back it decided to recline and I fell backwards off the chair and smacked the back of by head on a rock.

Got kicked in the balls in primary school by some bitch who found it funny to kick boys in the balls.

I haven't really been injured since then, I guess becoming a NEET was a good idea after all.
 
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