Insults

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
KRAINOS

KRAINOS

We have a new enemy in town.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 26, 2025
Post your favorite insults.

Here's an ancient newspaper clip.
guytfutydftyfffgu.png
Can you do better than Shakespeare?
 
Yo mama so fat that she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit
Yo mama so fat that she sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose
Yo mama so fat that she has to wear a watch on both wrists because she covers two time zones
Yo mama so fat that she broke the family tree trying to climb it
Yo mama so fat that she has more rolls than a bakery
Yo mama so fat that when she wears high heels she strikes oil
Yo mama so fat that she has to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat that she needs a GPS just to find her belly button
Yo mama so fat that she uses a VCR as a beeper
Yo mama so fat that she has to go to KFC to get a bucket of gravy
Yo mama so fat that she uses the equator as a belt
Yo mama so fat that she fell in love and broke it
Yo mama so fat that she has to buy two tickets when she flies economy
Yo mama so fat that when God said "Let there be light" he told her to move out of the way
Yo mama so fat that she has her own zip code
Yo mama so fat that she was baptized at Sea World
Yo mama so fat that she has to use a boomerang to put her belt on
Yo mama so fat that she has to wear a watch with three hands
Yo mama so fat that she has more chins than a Chinese phone book
Yo mama so fat that she jumped in the air and got stuck
Yo mama so stupid that she thought a quarterback was a refund
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
Yo mama so stupid that she sold her car for gas money
Yo mama so stupid that she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
Yo mama so stupid that she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill
Yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to drown a fish
Yo mama so stupid that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
Yo mama so stupid that she thinks Christmas is the name of a tree
Yo mama so stupid that she returned a jigsaw puzzle because it was broken
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to talk into an envelope to send a voicemail
Yo mama so stupid that she studied for a COVID test
Yo mama so stupid that she thought a polygon was a dead parrot
Yo mama so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest they said "Sorry, no professionals"
Yo mama so ugly that she made One Direction go the other way
Yo mama so ugly that when she looks in the mirror her reflection runs away
Yo mama so ugly that she has to trick-or-treat over the phone
Yo mama so ugly that she made blind kids cry
Yo mama so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone
Yo mama so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born the doctor slapped her parents
Yo mama so ugly that Santa Claus came down the chimney and left
Yo mama so ugly that she made an onion cry
Yo mama so old that her birth certificate says "expired"
Yo mama so old that she knew Burger King while he was still a prince
Yo mama so old that she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook
Yo mama so old that she sat behind Jesus in third grade
Yo mama so old that she farts dust
Yo mama so old that her memory is in black and white
Yo mama so old that she has Adam & Eve on speed dial
Yo mama so old that she babysat for Methuselah
Yo mama so poor that she washes paper plates
Yo mama so poor that she goes to KFC to lick other people's fingers
Yo mama so poor that she can't even pay attention
Yo mama so poor that when I rang her doorbell a cockroach tripped me
Yo mama so poor that she has to go to the dump to get her mail
Yo mama so poor that she has to eat cereal with a fork to save milk
Yo mama so short that she has to slam dunk her bus fare
Yo mama so short that she plays soccer with atoms
Yo mama so short that she has to look up to look down
Yo mama so short that she tripped over a curb and fell into yesterday
Yo mama so short that she can sit on a curb and swing her legs
Yo mama so nasty that she made Right Guard turn left
Yo mama so nasty that she has to creep up on a glass of water
Yo mama so nasty that she has more clap than an auditorium
Yo mama so nasty that she went swimming and made the Dead Sea even deader
Yo mama so nasty that she brings the crabs home from the beach
Yo mama so nasty that when she spreads her legs I get arrested for jaywalking
Yo mama so lazy that she has a paper route in the same building
Yo mama so lazy that she put her bra on backwards and it still fit
Yo mama so lazy that she stuck her finger in the air and called it a job
Yo mama so lazy that she got fired from a blow job
Yo mama so greasy that she uses bacon as a band-aid
Yo mama so greasy that she uses her face as a skillet
Yo mama so greasy that the government tried to regulate her as an oil spill
Yo mama so hairy that Bigfoot takes pictures of her
Yo mama so hairy that she has to braid her leg hair
Yo mama so hairy that she has afros on her knuckles
Yo mama so slow that she got run over by a parked car
Yo mama so slow that she has to speed up to stop
Yo mama so slow that she got locked out of a revolving door
Yo mama so tall that she has to bend down to get into heaven
Yo mama so tall that she tripped over a cloud
Yo mama so tall that she uses the Empire State Building as a toothpick
Yo mama so skinny that she has to run around in the shower to get wet
Yo mama so skinny that she can hang glide with a Dorito
Yo mama so skinny that she has to wear a belt with spandex
Yo mama so skinny that she can hide behind a goal post
Yo mama so black that she got lost in a power outage
Yo mama so black that she went to night school and got marked absent
Yo mama so black that she leaves footprints in asphalt
Yo mama so black that Batman told her to stop sneaking up on him
Yo mama so black that she has to use white-out to fill out forms
Yo mama so white that Casper uses her as a night light
Yo mama so white that she makes snow look dirty
Yo mama so white that she disappears when she turns sideways
Yo mama so white that she gets arrested for trespassing when she walks on snow
Yo mama so mean that she made a Happy Meal cry
Yo mama so mean that she gives the Grinch anxiety
Yo mama so mean that even the voices in her head left her
Yo mama so mean that she kicked a puppy... then charged it rent
Yo mama so mean that she breastfed hot sauce
Yo mama so sweet that dentists have to wear sunglasses around her
Yo mama so sweet that ants carry her to picnics
Yo mama so sweet that she got cavities from breathing
Yo mama so sweet that bees make her honey
Yo mama so sweet that she got diabetes from looking in the mirror
Yo mama so stupid when she went outside every nigger was being hung from the lampposts because racial holy war was being enacted
1770371590745.jpeg
 
Major_ said:
Yo mama so fat that she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit
Yo mama so fat that she sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose
Yo mama so fat that she has to wear a watch on both wrists because she covers two time zones
Yo mama so fat that she broke the family tree trying to climb it
Click to expand...
This is not really in the spirit of the point of the thread.
edit: I changed my mind this is hilarious.
 
Last edited:
There’s a brilliant one from Blackadder where he says something like,
‘The renaissance was something that happened to other people wasn’t it baldrick?’
 
Otterly said:
There’s a brilliant one from Blackadder where he says something like,
‘The renaissance was something that happened to other people wasn’t it baldrick?’
Click to expand...
Ben Elton's gold for bluntness. My favourite is the bait and switch; "They do say, Mrs. M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain - they are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head."
"Oooooh!"
 

Una cagada asquerosa, repelente, abyecta, vomitiva, mugrosa, maldita, diarreosa, estercolera, inmunda, malnacida, pudenda, apestosa, maloliente, cabrona, maricona, huevona, pendeja, tarada, cancerígena, jodida, culiada, gilipollesca, pelotuda, encamada, malnacida, retardada, atrasada, inútil, móngola, incestuosa, burda, estúpida, insulsa, putrefacta, traicionera, indigna, chupapollas, soplahuevos, esnifacojones, hueleculo, coprofágica, masca-almorranas, infecta, cerda, nauseabunda, cochambrosa, cochina, verdulera, infame, ruin, rastrera, degradada, descerebrada, zopenca, zafia, pútrida, engreída, esquizofrénica, granulenta, infeliz, profana, calamitosa, deficiente, cretina, lela, ramera, fulana, calientahuevos, ridícula, petarda, pasmarote, fistro, desidiosa, puta, reputa, soputa, recontraputa, hija de puta, hija de un millón de putas, escupepitos, caradepedo, necrofílica, alientoamojón, lame-bukkake, revuelcaleche, coñoesumadre y de su abuela, conchuda, culoroto, nalgas reventadas, tragasable, succionapitos, esfinterpartido, ojetedeshilachado, sorbemocos, capulla, pelmaza, zoqueta, masturbadora crónica, espuria, chupa-tampones, regluda, coprófaga, gerontofílica, turra, ojete, atorrante, tierrúa, pajúa, mamahuevos, onanista, caradeconcha.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom