🐱 Interesting clickbait, op-eds, fluff pieces and other smaller stories
- Thread starter CatParty
- Start date
CatParty
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Along with "Meth. . .it makes buttsex better" and "We're the Meth Party!" and "Holy fuck I love Meth so Much!"
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
This reads like a not-as-clever-as-the-author-thinks appeal to current Senate Republicans.
Couldn't find much on the author... maybe I'm too cynical.
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2019
Pete Buttigieg’s husband shares tone deaf picture of presidential hopeful at Holocaust Memorial
Pete Buttigieg's husband snapped a photo of the presidential hopeful at the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin in 2017, and some folks aren't happy. (Instagram)
A bizarre photograph of Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg at the Berlin Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe was dug up by Twitter, and, well, they’re pretty taken aback.
Taken by his husband Chasten, the picture uploaded to his Instagram account shows the South Bend, Indiana, mayor in a short-sleeved shirt nestled between the concrete slabs.
The stelae are arranged in a grid pattern across a sloping field to memorialise the Jewish victims of the Holocaust.
But the sombre tourist attraction has emerged as a crucial spot for selfies, to the chagrin of activists.
Pete Buttigieg receives chorus of criticism for 2017 photo of him at Holocaust memorial.
Back in April 1, 2019, the Pete and Chasten Buttigieg visited the site, with Chasten captioning the post: “This guy.”
While the post has remained under the radar during the presidential hopeful’s campaign, Twitter user Ben uncovered the post and shared it to his followers.
is this….at the holocaust memorial in berlin…. pic.twitter.com/8bvmz9Zs7z
— ben kesslen (@benkesslen) November 18, 2019
Tallying 14,000 likes in less than a day, the post became a lightning rod for criticism against Pete, a users dubbed him an “InstaGay” and almost everyone replied: “Yikes.”
“Maybe it’s just me, but I’d imagine the Holocaust Memorial isn’t the right instagram backdrop for fawning innuendo about your husband,” one user commented.
“Oh, problematic photos by InstaGays at the Holocaust memorial in Berlin are a whole sub-genre of InstaGay shenanigans,” observed Jeff.
Far too frequent Grindr profile pic in Europe I'm afraid https://t.co/Ea3WDeIzuk
—(@wokeotter) November 18, 2019
In 2013, a blog scanned the tiled torsos of Grindr to find users who featured selfies of themselves – at times shirtless – in the memorial.
Some users compared the snap to the ‘Yolocaust‘.
Coined by Israeli-German writer Shahak Shapira, the term is slapped onto social media users who take selfies in sites dedicated to reverence.
This is some #yolocaust shit. pic.twitter.com/tHSoL3RkKK
— Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim (@idlebystander) November 18, 2019
As part of a project of the same name, Shapira hoovered away the background of a dozen selfies taken at the memorial. Swapping it for graphic photographs of the Holocaust.
Something which one Twitter user did for Pete:
There is an Israeli artist named Shahak Shapira who edits tourists photos in a series called “Yolocaust”
I decided to make an edition for Pete pic.twitter.com/4XxJbakv0A
— Drew Soren (@sorendrew) November 18, 2019
‘At least he’s not licking the memorial.’
“At least it was Chasten with the weird caption,” one user flagged.
“The picture is serious enough to be respectful – he’s not, like, licking the memorial or something.”
“With a more serious caption it could have been a lot more impactful. Something about how he stands with the victims, survivors, and descendants of survivors of the Shoah and will do his best to make sure no more genocide ever happens again, he was so moved etc, could have worked.
Pete Buttigieg
Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg. (Getty)
“But Chas took Pete’s bad decision (glamour shot at a Holocaust memorial) and turned it into an AWFUL one (cutesy lovey-dovey Holocaust memorial glamour shot).”
But while Twitter users question the lawmaker, who, if elected, would become the first openly gay US president, Pete is powering through some recent polls.
In fact, Pete was rated the top choice for the Democratic nomination in poll of Iowa cactus voters.
Holocaust memorial as gay hookup spot? Weaponizing outrage from potential jewish donors to slander your opponents? Delightful.
"In a December 2011 interview, Grindr CEO Joel Simkhai seemed to get on board with the trend. “As a Jew and an Israeli, I’m deeply moved by how users are coming together as a community on Grindr to share and inspire others take part in memory of the Holocaust,” he said. "
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
They gotta get really mad about it because for every gay you acknowledge got gassed there's one Jew who wasn't. Right?
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2018
Oklahoma man kidnapped 11 year old stepdaughter, married her in symbolic ceremony, forced her to bear 9 kids, and basically was on the run with her for NINETEEN YEARS.
Leonard Helplessness
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2018
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2018
BScCollateral
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 28, 2018
- Joined
- Sep 5, 2019
Lmao if you consider a plot focused around beating your nine wives and sacrificing them to the yam gods good
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Who the fuck does he think he is? Florida Man? Or Austria Man?
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2017
Why do they always want us to feel bad about the Holocaust? They do know we're the ones who STOPPED IT, right??
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2018
Botched DIY penis enlargement earns Iranian entry into Australia
The man in his 30s, who wasn’t publicly named, tried to grow his member by injecting himself with palm oil and fell seriously ill.
nypost.com
NOVEMBER 18, 2019
A stock image of a doctor.
An Iranian man seeking asylum in Australia botched his DIY penis enlargement procedure — and was granted entry to undergo pricey reconstructive surgery on taxpayer dime, according to local reports.
The man in his 30s, who wasn’t publicly named, tried to grow his member by injecting himself with palm oil and fell seriously ill, The Australian reported on Sunday.
He was transferred from an immigration detention center in Papua New Guinea to Australia last month for medical treatment that could cost up to $10,000, according to the outlet.
The transfer was made possible under Australia’s controversial 2019 Medevac laws, which give doctors a greater say as to which sick refugees can come into the county from offshore detention centers for medical treatment. Medical evacuations can be refused on national security grounds.
In this case, the man was reportedly involved in nearly 50 behavioral incidents while being detained in Papua New Guinea since 2013, including throwing boiling water on a security guard and punching another who took away his pornography.
Despite the man’s record, Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton couldn’t block the transfer because of his limited power under the Medevac laws, according to the outlet.
Supporters of the laws argued this transfer would have occurred anyway because of the seriousness of the patient’s injuries, and blasted the leaking of the man’s medical records as unethical.
An Iranian man seeking asylum in Australia botched his DIY penis enlargement procedure — and was granted entry to undergo pricey reconstructive surgery on taxpayer dime, according to local reports.
The man in his 30s, who wasn’t publicly named, tried to grow his member by injecting himself with palm oil and fell seriously ill, The Australian reported on Sunday.
He was transferred from an immigration detention center in Papua New Guinea to Australia last month for medical treatment that could cost up to $10,000, according to the outlet.
The transfer was made possible under Australia’s controversial 2019 Medevac laws, which give doctors a greater say as to which sick refugees can come into the county from offshore detention centers for medical treatment. Medical evacuations can be refused on national security grounds.
In this case, the man was reportedly involved in nearly 50 behavioral incidents while being detained in Papua New Guinea since 2013, including throwing boiling water on a security guard and punching another who took away his pornography.
Despite the man’s record, Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton couldn’t block the transfer because of his limited power under the Medevac laws, according to the outlet.
Supporters of the laws argued this transfer would have occurred anyway because of the seriousness of the patient’s injuries, and blasted the leaking of the man’s medical records as unethical.
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2019
Florida man had meth 'wedged deep within' belly button, cops say
A Florida man was arrested Saturday after allegedly hiding his meth stash in a peculiar place: his belly button.
Martin Skelly, a 41-year-old from St. Petersburg, was taken into custody after investigators caught him with a 28-gauge needle at a McDonald's in Clearwater and took him in on methamphetamine possession.
Before he was transported for booking, authorities asked Skelly if he had any other contraband in his possession, warning him he could face additional charges if anything illegal was discovered while he was in jail, The Smoking Gun reported, citing an arrest affidavit.
Martin Skelly, 41, was hit with additional charges Saturday after cops allegedly found methamphetamine hidden in his belly button as he was being booked into jail. (Pinellas County Sheriff's Office)
Skelly denied having anything else, but during intake at the Pinellas County Jail, a sheriff's deputy "discovered a small bag of crystal powder substance wedged deep within [his] belly button cavity."
The substance tested positive for methamphetamine, officials said. Skelly, a 380-pound, 5-foot-9 man, reportedly told an officer after the drugs were found that he "was just being dumb and not thinking."
Skelly was initially arrested for possession of methamphetamine, but after more drugs were found inside his belly button, he was hit with an additional two felony charges for introducing contraband into a correctional facility and narcotics possession.
Link: https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-meth-wedged-belly-button
Archive: https://archive.md/y1z4k
A Florida man was arrested Saturday after allegedly hiding his meth stash in a peculiar place: his belly button.
Martin Skelly, a 41-year-old from St. Petersburg, was taken into custody after investigators caught him with a 28-gauge needle at a McDonald's in Clearwater and took him in on methamphetamine possession.
Before he was transported for booking, authorities asked Skelly if he had any other contraband in his possession, warning him he could face additional charges if anything illegal was discovered while he was in jail, The Smoking Gun reported, citing an arrest affidavit.
Martin Skelly, 41, was hit with additional charges Saturday after cops allegedly found methamphetamine hidden in his belly button as he was being booked into jail. (Pinellas County Sheriff's Office)
Skelly denied having anything else, but during intake at the Pinellas County Jail, a sheriff's deputy "discovered a small bag of crystal powder substance wedged deep within [his] belly button cavity."
The substance tested positive for methamphetamine, officials said. Skelly, a 380-pound, 5-foot-9 man, reportedly told an officer after the drugs were found that he "was just being dumb and not thinking."
Skelly was initially arrested for possession of methamphetamine, but after more drugs were found inside his belly button, he was hit with an additional two felony charges for introducing contraband into a correctional facility and narcotics possession.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Link: https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-meth-wedged-belly-button
Archive: https://archive.md/y1z4k
Last edited:
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2015
Aung San Suu Kyi, winner of the Nobel Prize for genocide, is going to come right out and tell the world she dindu nuffin at the Hague
www.theguardian.com
I will be following the coverage of this with popcorn.
Aung San Suu Kyi to defend Myanmar against genocide charge at The Hague
Burmese leader will lead delegation to international court of justice next month
www.theguardian.com
I will be following the coverage of this with popcorn.
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2015
The elephants did it!Aung San Suu Kyi, winner of the Nobel Prize for genocide, is going to come right out and tell the world she dindu nuffin at the Hague
Aung San Suu Kyi to defend Myanmar against genocide charge at The Hague
Burmese leader will lead delegation to international court of justice next month
I will be following the coverage of this with popcorn.
Why are elephants smashing a refugee camp? - BBC News
Twelve Rohingya people in the refugee camp in Bangladesh have been killed by wild elephants in recent months. The camp has swollen in size since 700,000 memb...
youtu.be
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2019
Scooter Braun says Taylor Swift dispute has 'gotten out of hand'
www-m.cnn.com
(CNN) — Music manager Scooter Braun has finally broken his silence on Taylor Swift's public statements of displeasure with him, his company and her former record label.
On Thursday, Braun, in his first public remarks about the situation since it began six months ago, called for "communication" with Swift, who has been wrapped up in an increasingly bitter back-and-forth with Big Machine Record Label, which, as of this summer, is owned by Braun's company.
"I haven't talked about this in six months, not once...and that's hard," Braun said on stage at The Hollywood Chamber's 2019 State of the Entertainment Industry Conference. "It's hard because when there's a lot of things being said, and a lot of different opinions, yet the principals haven't had a chance to speak to each other, there's a lot of confusion."
Indeed, Braun and Swift would seemingly have a lot to talk about.
The saga began in July, when the singer's early music catalog was sold to a company owned by Braun in a deal worth roughly $300 million, according to Billboard.
Swift called the agreement a "worst case scenario" upon its announcement. Her discontent split members of the music community, with each party finding their defenders.
"The only good thing for me is that when you get knocked down on some stuff, you get to find out who your real friends are real quick," Braun, who never mentioned Swift by name, said. "And watching some people in the industry who, you know, might smile in your face and then suddenly you've got a little dent in the armor and they come try to kick it in even more. It doesn't bother me, but it just lets me know where I stand."
Swift had been signed to Big Machine from her 2006 self-titled debut album through 2017's "Reputation," before signing with Universal Music Group.
The sale prevents Swift from owning the first six albums in her catalog, but she has said she plans to re-record it.
Last week, Swift once again took issue with Braun and the company, claiming in a social media post that they had denied her request to play some of her early songs at the upcoming American Music Awards, where she is being honored as artist of the decade, "because they claim that would be re-recording my music before I'm allowed to next year," Swift wrote.
In a statement to CNN, Big Machine Records denied that the company has prevented Swift from performing at the AMAs or blocked her music from an in-the-works Netflix special, saying "Taylor, the narrative you have created does not exist. All we ask is to have a direct and honest conversation."
"When that happens, you will see there is nothing but respect, kindness and support waiting for you on the other side," the statement read in part. "We share the collective goal of giving your fans the entertainment they both want and deserve."
In a later statement, Big Machine said that a licensing agreement had been reached that would leave Swift and other contracted artists looking to perform at the American Music Awards or elsewhere completely in the clear to do so. The company's approval had not been needed for live performances itself but rather distribution of audio and video recordings of those performances, Big Machine said.
On Thursday, Braun declined to go into further detail "because it's just not my style" but called for an end to the public airing of grievances.
"I just think we live in a time of toxic division and people thinking that social media is the appropriate place to air out each other and not have conversations. I don't like politicians doing it; I don't like anybody doing it. And if that means that I've got to be the bad guy longer, I'll be the bad guy longer, but I'm not going to participate," he said. What I'll say is I think people need to communicate and when people are able to communicate, I think they work things out."
Braun's interview, conducted by Variety's Shirley Halperin, was the headline event of the conference.
"I think that these problems that are being discussed can be discussed behind closed doors and figured out pretty easily. It's something I've wanted to do for six months," he said. "I just think it's gotten out of hand."
He added: "I think people need to come together and have a conversation because that's not what this is about. It's not what we got in this industry for."
Scooter Braun breaks six-month silence on Taylor Swift dispute
Music manager Scooter Braun has finally broken his silence on Taylor Swift's public statements of displeasure with him, his company and her former record label.
www-m.cnn.com
(CNN) — Music manager Scooter Braun has finally broken his silence on Taylor Swift's public statements of displeasure with him, his company and her former record label.
On Thursday, Braun, in his first public remarks about the situation since it began six months ago, called for "communication" with Swift, who has been wrapped up in an increasingly bitter back-and-forth with Big Machine Record Label, which, as of this summer, is owned by Braun's company.
"I haven't talked about this in six months, not once...and that's hard," Braun said on stage at The Hollywood Chamber's 2019 State of the Entertainment Industry Conference. "It's hard because when there's a lot of things being said, and a lot of different opinions, yet the principals haven't had a chance to speak to each other, there's a lot of confusion."
Indeed, Braun and Swift would seemingly have a lot to talk about.
The saga began in July, when the singer's early music catalog was sold to a company owned by Braun in a deal worth roughly $300 million, according to Billboard.
Swift called the agreement a "worst case scenario" upon its announcement. Her discontent split members of the music community, with each party finding their defenders.
"The only good thing for me is that when you get knocked down on some stuff, you get to find out who your real friends are real quick," Braun, who never mentioned Swift by name, said. "And watching some people in the industry who, you know, might smile in your face and then suddenly you've got a little dent in the armor and they come try to kick it in even more. It doesn't bother me, but it just lets me know where I stand."
Swift had been signed to Big Machine from her 2006 self-titled debut album through 2017's "Reputation," before signing with Universal Music Group.
The sale prevents Swift from owning the first six albums in her catalog, but she has said she plans to re-record it.
Last week, Swift once again took issue with Braun and the company, claiming in a social media post that they had denied her request to play some of her early songs at the upcoming American Music Awards, where she is being honored as artist of the decade, "because they claim that would be re-recording my music before I'm allowed to next year," Swift wrote.
In a statement to CNN, Big Machine Records denied that the company has prevented Swift from performing at the AMAs or blocked her music from an in-the-works Netflix special, saying "Taylor, the narrative you have created does not exist. All we ask is to have a direct and honest conversation."
"When that happens, you will see there is nothing but respect, kindness and support waiting for you on the other side," the statement read in part. "We share the collective goal of giving your fans the entertainment they both want and deserve."
In a later statement, Big Machine said that a licensing agreement had been reached that would leave Swift and other contracted artists looking to perform at the American Music Awards or elsewhere completely in the clear to do so. The company's approval had not been needed for live performances itself but rather distribution of audio and video recordings of those performances, Big Machine said.
On Thursday, Braun declined to go into further detail "because it's just not my style" but called for an end to the public airing of grievances.
"I just think we live in a time of toxic division and people thinking that social media is the appropriate place to air out each other and not have conversations. I don't like politicians doing it; I don't like anybody doing it. And if that means that I've got to be the bad guy longer, I'll be the bad guy longer, but I'm not going to participate," he said. What I'll say is I think people need to communicate and when people are able to communicate, I think they work things out."
Braun's interview, conducted by Variety's Shirley Halperin, was the headline event of the conference.
"I think that these problems that are being discussed can be discussed behind closed doors and figured out pretty easily. It's something I've wanted to do for six months," he said. "I just think it's gotten out of hand."
He added: "I think people need to come together and have a conversation because that's not what this is about. It's not what we got in this industry for."
- Joined
- May 2, 2017
What you stand to lose by not having sex with people with HIV
HIV stigma is very much alive and well - but it doesn’t just impact those who are HIV positive...
www.queerty.com
What you stand to lose by not having sex with people with HIV
Imagine a couple. Let’s call them Todd and Carl. They love one another like crazy and continue to be amazed at how much they have in common.
They work out together at the same gym, enjoy watching the same nerdy, sci-fi and fantasy series on Netflix, and share a love for Japanese and Korean food.
They seemed to effortlessly merge their groups of friends when they got together and share the same values when it comes to working hard and building their careers.
Although neither has popped the question yet, they’re likely heading toward marriage somewhere down the line. They love, trust and support each other.
Oh, and the sex? The sex is mind-blowing. It helps that Todd’s around 20% top and 80% bottom and Carl’s the opposite. They just click. They make that ridiculously cute couple that others envy.
Sounds good, right?
Except it never happened. Despite both catching each other’s attention on an app, Todd and Carl never went for that first date. They never made it to the bedroom stage, let alone realize that they both shared a dream of adopting a kid and trekking across South America one day.
See, Todd stated on his profile that he’s HIV positive. And when he messaged Carl, he wasn’t rude, but he simply responded, “Sorry, not quite what I’m looking for.”
And with that, a relationship that would have changed both their lives disappeared into the ether. Mr Right was pushed right back out of the door.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a story on Queerty about an HIV positive man who finds himself often – sometimes rudely – rejected on apps.
Some of those who commented on the article appeared to feel attacked by the piece.
“It is insane to shame people for attempting to protect their own health,” said one.
“Everybody has the absolute right to make whatever decisions they want about their own sex life, period, full stop, no qualifiers,” said another.
Others agreed that everyone has the right to take responsibility for their sexual health and, for some, this includes not having sex with people who they know to be HIV positive.
I don’t disagree that everyone should take responsibility for their own sexual health. My purpose in writing this is merely to ask you to give a thought to the potential consequences of your particular decisions.
If someone is HIV positive, knows their status, is on effective medication and has consistently had an undetectable viral load, they cannot pass on the virus. PrEP is also widely available in the US and several other countries to prevent people from acquiring HIV. And condoms are also, of course, widely available.
I know a couple of long-term serodiscordant couples. A serodiscordant relationship is one in which one partner is HIV positive and one is HIV negative. Single myself, I look upon these relationships with awe. Not because of the HIV side of things, but just because I’m always impressed and inspired by any longterm couples.
I can’t imagine one without the other, or what would have happened if a fear of acquiring HIV, or a decision to reject someone for being HIV positive, had prevailed.
When friends go through bad break-ups, we console them by telling them there are plenty more fish in the sea. There is a presumption – perhaps even an arrogance – that we can just move on to the next guy and that he might be “the one.”
Well, you don’t meet many of “the ones” during life, actually. A survey by AARP last year found that “57% of gay men over the age of 45 are single compared to 39% of lesbians.”
There are many reasons for this, and yes, plenty of us are content being “self-partnered”, as actress Emma Watson recently put it. But many others are less happy at not being in a relationship.
So yes, take responsibility for your health and do what you feel is best for you. But do so with an awareness of the potential consequences of those decisions. Refusing to entertain the idea of dating an HIV-positive person might just mean you miss out on the love of your life.
If you find yourself single and contemplating why, bear in mind it might be because you blocked ‘Mr Right’ when you read he was HIV positive on Grindr.
Of course, some will say, “My perfect man doesn’t HIV!”. Well, I hope you’re not too old before you realize: Nobody’s perfect.
They work out together at the same gym, enjoy watching the same nerdy, sci-fi and fantasy series on Netflix, and share a love for Japanese and Korean food.
They seemed to effortlessly merge their groups of friends when they got together and share the same values when it comes to working hard and building their careers.
Although neither has popped the question yet, they’re likely heading toward marriage somewhere down the line. They love, trust and support each other.
Oh, and the sex? The sex is mind-blowing. It helps that Todd’s around 20% top and 80% bottom and Carl’s the opposite. They just click. They make that ridiculously cute couple that others envy.
Sounds good, right?
Except it never happened. Despite both catching each other’s attention on an app, Todd and Carl never went for that first date. They never made it to the bedroom stage, let alone realize that they both shared a dream of adopting a kid and trekking across South America one day.
See, Todd stated on his profile that he’s HIV positive. And when he messaged Carl, he wasn’t rude, but he simply responded, “Sorry, not quite what I’m looking for.”
And with that, a relationship that would have changed both their lives disappeared into the ether. Mr Right was pushed right back out of the door.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a story on Queerty about an HIV positive man who finds himself often – sometimes rudely – rejected on apps.
Some of those who commented on the article appeared to feel attacked by the piece.
“It is insane to shame people for attempting to protect their own health,” said one.
“Everybody has the absolute right to make whatever decisions they want about their own sex life, period, full stop, no qualifiers,” said another.
Others agreed that everyone has the right to take responsibility for their sexual health and, for some, this includes not having sex with people who they know to be HIV positive.
I don’t disagree that everyone should take responsibility for their own sexual health. My purpose in writing this is merely to ask you to give a thought to the potential consequences of your particular decisions.
If someone is HIV positive, knows their status, is on effective medication and has consistently had an undetectable viral load, they cannot pass on the virus. PrEP is also widely available in the US and several other countries to prevent people from acquiring HIV. And condoms are also, of course, widely available.
I know a couple of long-term serodiscordant couples. A serodiscordant relationship is one in which one partner is HIV positive and one is HIV negative. Single myself, I look upon these relationships with awe. Not because of the HIV side of things, but just because I’m always impressed and inspired by any longterm couples.
I can’t imagine one without the other, or what would have happened if a fear of acquiring HIV, or a decision to reject someone for being HIV positive, had prevailed.
When friends go through bad break-ups, we console them by telling them there are plenty more fish in the sea. There is a presumption – perhaps even an arrogance – that we can just move on to the next guy and that he might be “the one.”
Well, you don’t meet many of “the ones” during life, actually. A survey by AARP last year found that “57% of gay men over the age of 45 are single compared to 39% of lesbians.”
There are many reasons for this, and yes, plenty of us are content being “self-partnered”, as actress Emma Watson recently put it. But many others are less happy at not being in a relationship.
So yes, take responsibility for your health and do what you feel is best for you. But do so with an awareness of the potential consequences of those decisions. Refusing to entertain the idea of dating an HIV-positive person might just mean you miss out on the love of your life.
If you find yourself single and contemplating why, bear in mind it might be because you blocked ‘Mr Right’ when you read he was HIV positive on Grindr.
Of course, some will say, “My perfect man doesn’t HIV!”. Well, I hope you’re not too old before you realize: Nobody’s perfect.
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2018
I can't stop laughing... the delusion
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2018
I'm surprised he doesn't always gets rejected with a "Get the fuck out, you filthy diseased faggot".
When are we going to start purging people with GRIDS?
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2019
What you stand to lose by not having sex with people with HIV
HIV stigma is very much alive and well - but it doesn’t just impact those who are HIV positive...
What you stand to lose by not having sex with people with HIV
Imagine a couple. Let’s call them Todd and Carl. They love one another like crazy and continue to be amazed at how much they have in common.
They work out together at the same gym, enjoy watching the same nerdy, sci-fi and fantasy series on Netflix, and share a love for Japanese and Korean food.
They seemed to effortlessly merge their groups of friends when they got together and share the same values when it comes to working hard and building their careers.
Although neither has popped the question yet, they’re likely heading toward marriage somewhere down the line. They love, trust and support each other.
Oh, and the sex? The sex is mind-blowing. It helps that Todd’s around 20% top and 80% bottom and Carl’s the opposite. They just click. They make that ridiculously cute couple that others envy.
Sounds good, right?
Except it never happened. Despite both catching each other’s attention on an app, Todd and Carl never went for that first date. They never made it to the bedroom stage, let alone realize that they both shared a dream of adopting a kid and trekking across South America one day.
See, Todd stated on his profile that he’s HIV positive. And when he messaged Carl, he wasn’t rude, but he simply responded, “Sorry, not quite what I’m looking for.”
And with that, a relationship that would have changed both their lives disappeared into the ether. Mr Right was pushed right back out of the door.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a story on Queerty about an HIV positive man who finds himself often – sometimes rudely – rejected on apps.
Some of those who commented on the article appeared to feel attacked by the piece.
“It is insane to shame people for attempting to protect their own health,” said one.
“Everybody has the absolute right to make whatever decisions they want about their own sex life, period, full stop, no qualifiers,” said another.
Others agreed that everyone has the right to take responsibility for their sexual health and, for some, this includes not having sex with people who they know to be HIV positive.
I don’t disagree that everyone should take responsibility for their own sexual health. My purpose in writing this is merely to ask you to give a thought to the potential consequences of your particular decisions.
If someone is HIV positive, knows their status, is on effective medication and has consistently had an undetectable viral load, they cannot pass on the virus. PrEP is also widely available in the US and several other countries to prevent people from acquiring HIV. And condoms are also, of course, widely available.
I know a couple of long-term serodiscordant couples. A serodiscordant relationship is one in which one partner is HIV positive and one is HIV negative. Single myself, I look upon these relationships with awe. Not because of the HIV side of things, but just because I’m always impressed and inspired by any longterm couples.
I can’t imagine one without the other, or what would have happened if a fear of acquiring HIV, or a decision to reject someone for being HIV positive, had prevailed.
When friends go through bad break-ups, we console them by telling them there are plenty more fish in the sea. There is a presumption – perhaps even an arrogance – that we can just move on to the next guy and that he might be “the one.”
Well, you don’t meet many of “the ones” during life, actually. A survey by AARP last year found that “57% of gay men over the age of 45 are single compared to 39% of lesbians.”
There are many reasons for this, and yes, plenty of us are content being “self-partnered”, as actress Emma Watson recently put it. But many others are less happy at not being in a relationship.
So yes, take responsibility for your health and do what you feel is best for you. But do so with an awareness of the potential consequences of those decisions. Refusing to entertain the idea of dating an HIV-positive person might just mean you miss out on the love of your life.
If you find yourself single and contemplating why, bear in mind it might be because you blocked ‘Mr Right’ when you read he was HIV positive on Grindr.
Of course, some will say, “My perfect man doesn’t HIV!”. Well, I hope you’re not too old before you realize: Nobody’s perfect.
From the author of the piece just one year ago
tweet (archive)
Looks like AIDs face to me