Interpersonal Drama - How to handle issues with others.

I got issue with the whole damn thing everywhere and why is the forum black?
 
I was maced by a weird dude in a games shop. How do I resolve this conflict?
 
I tried to mediate drama between @Thundersteam and @Peace and Harmony I ruled that @Thundersteam was in the wrong for attempting to dox @Peace and Harmony on his facebook page and asked that he give a simple apology to @Peace and Harmony . He refused so I issued him four warning points along with a firm warning that causing further forum drama will lead to me recommending him that he be banned.
 
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@Flowers For Sonichu, I have 11 pages of pointless conjecture and arguing regarding some nebulous conflict between a fuckton of people I don't know.
I have really strong opinions about it, but no one involved gives a flying fuck what I think, and they likely never will.
Would you recommend I interject my entirely unwanted thoughts on the matter, or jam it up my ass and move on?

Edit:
Aaand new favorite staff member.
 
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Dr. Boe Jangles Esq. said:
@Flowers For Sonichu, I have 11 pages of pointless conjecture and arguing regarding some nebulous conflict between a fuckton of people I don't know.
I have really strong opinions about it, but no one involved gives a flying fuck what I think, and they likely never will.
Would you recommend I interject my entirely unwanted thoughts on the matter, or jam it up my ass and move on?
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The first, but get drunk beforehand
 
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@Flowers For Sonichu sometimes I have weird feelings in my lower tummy next to my pee-pee when I look at my girl coworkers, but my HR manager told me not to act on them. I think he's a faggot douche. What should I do?
 
Splendid Meat Sticks said:
@Flowers For Sonichu sometimes I have weird feelings in my lower tummy next to my pee-pee when I look at my girl coworkers, but my HR manager told me not to act on them. I think he's a faggot douche. What should I do?
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I would do what the golden knight did and spend most of your work hours jacking it in the bathroom.
 
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Wildchild said:
Can we go to the conflicts resolutions officer if we don't have any conflicts with another member, but we have internal conflicts with ourselves? I'm sure a lot of us have internal conflicts that @Flowers For Sonichu would be able to help us fix.
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I would like to nominate myself for the position of Kiwi Farms staff psychiatrist I promise I will respect patient confidentiality and not at all misuse the privileges that come with knowing the darkest secrets of people who use a site dedicated to mocking other people's darkest secrets.
 
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