Introducing the New 'New Warriors' - The classic team reunites to mentor a new generation of heroes!

Welp, now that they’ve made the internet-based technopath there goes a useful and cool superpower ruined by a garbage story and setting.
Lol he isn't even a technopath. The website say he can look up anything on the Internet, that's it he uses Google. With so many people criticizing this & coming up with better ideas than ACTUAL MARVEL WRITERS it could be reworked into a semi decent book after the original New Warriors tell these kids they have shitty clothes, powers, & codenames.
 
The virgin Snowflake:
* Nigger.
* Gay hair color.
* Throws snowflake-shaped shuriken like an autistic weeaboo
* Probably bangs his brother.
* Post modernism soy boys.
* Zoomer.
* Will become obscure in a year.
Edit: * Probably vapes.

The chad Snowflame:
* White.
* Whire hair, which is objectivally the best color.
* Gains super powers by Coaine.
* Non incestous straight.
* Realist.
* Boomer.
* One bit villain that is still famous today.
Edit: * Pure cocaine.
 
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Worst trait - forget dates, so he's not going to remember your birthday or anniversary.
Best trait - lol I come with my own glasses doesn't that make me charming? In other words he can't name a real positive part of him that would attract women (or men, you never know looking at this living soyboy meme).

Also, this guy goes from Buzzfeed writer to being involved in a marvel comic... it's all one big SJW "everyone's connected to one another" circlejerk at marvel.
 
Nonbinary gender identity is an invention of the computer age. Many people who spend eleven hours a day in front of TV / phone / computer end up with body types that look very round and fat and consequently of amorphous gender. Those drawings piss them off because they're not of computer blob-creatures, which is the natural state of the NB.
 
Looking at some of the new characters, I don't understand: how can you be a constantly-moving, athletic superhero and still be fat? Won't those calories get burned off naturally? Won't they get shredded and ripped from all that action hero stuff they do?

It only makes sense if their bulk is part of their superpowers, but looking in this instance, it doesn't seem to be case.

I don't get it.

Nonbinary gender identity is an invention of the computer age.

It's a very easy to be admitted into the "cool" LGBT+ crowd without actually having to suck dick/eat pussy (delete where applicable) because you can still have a partner/lover of the opposite sex but claim you're not straight because you don't identify that way.
 
I'm stretching here, but if they had superpowered muscles, leaping buildings and punching peoples' heads off might be for them no more calorie-burning than occasionally getting off the couch to refill their cheetos. Or if they have some kind of superpower that lets them do their activities without involving their muscles, like a telekinetic person who's just floating everywhere and levitating people into walls.
 
you people are never fucking happy
That's an unspoken prerequisite of posting here, or having a thread, or in rare cases both.

I've never heard of Kibblesmith before, but goddamn does that name hit the ear wrong and I am an enemy of Isreal now

Man, if Marvel hadn't gone into movies they'd be fucking dead by now
I think when you put Marvel and Playboy next to each other, they provide perfect case studies of just how badly you can fail or wildly succeed based on adapting to the current trends and market needs. While Playboy was stacking paper in the 80s Marvel went through a bankruptcy scare and changed hands a couple of times, barely scraping by. How the times have changed...
 
That's an unspoken prerequisite of posting here, or having a thread, or in rare cases both.

I've never heard of Kibblesmith before, but goddamn does that name hit the ear wrong and I am an enemy of Isreal now


I think when you put Marvel and Playboy next to each other, they provide perfect case studies of just how badly you can fail or wildly succeed based on adapting to the current trends and market needs. While Playboy was stacking paper in the 80s Marvel went through a bankruptcy scare and changed hands a couple of times, barely scraping by. How the times have changed...
Actually Playboy's in the same position as Marvel they make most of their money through licensing their brand.

Honestly wondering if Corona will kill off the woke shit or the entire comics industry.
 
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