Is this what Barb wanted?

[TimBabinski]

When Chris was a child is this what Barb wanted for him? If not what do you think she wanted.

 

[The Dude]

I'm of the opinion that with Burb's laziness that she never really had much of a plan for him.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

We have nowhere near enough concrete info on Barb for anything but wild speculation.

 

[TimBabinski]

what would some of them be?

 

[IgnorantBystander]

The easy assumption is that Barb has always wanted a child who would never leave her. There's a lot we don't know though. I mean, I don't have the cwcki memorized, but from what I've seen, Barb used to be somewhat normal - her house was clean-ish, she planned birthday parties for Chris, she helped him to socialize (like going to prom with him), and so on. It's easy to imagine that back then she wanted him to be independent, or at least, more able to function in society, hence the emphasis on "mainstreaming".

Or, it could be that she just didn't want to deal with his problems, hence the emphasis on "mainstreaming" (aka, "just fix him"), the abusive babysitter, the supporting & defending him no matter how awful his behavior was. Just saying "well, he's special" was easier than trying to correct his thoughts/behaviors.

Or it could be that she really hoped he'd find a sweetheart, get married and move out, until Bob died and she realized just how alone she was going to be if that happened. Kind of like what Chris is going through now, realizing how alone he'll be when Barb dies.

Really, it sounds like Barb has been on a downward spiral, and her treatment of Chris has followed. In my OPINION, it looks like this:

-Chris is born, he's autistic and she doesn't know how to deal with him. Eventually, he starts communicating, and she wants to work with him.

-Chris shows some interests (video games, transformers, etc.) and she encourages him. She tries to help him make friends and so on.

-Chris graduates, Barb retires (not sure of the exact sequence) and suddenly, he's home all day long, and so is she. He has problems at college & finding employment. This is depressing, and so Barb begins to sink into depression.

-Chris finishes college, and has zero prospects. Bob's health starts to decline. Barb shops Goodwill to have something to do, maybe feels like she's still serving some purpose by finding "good deals" to provide for her family.

-The trolls discover Chris, and his behavior gets more bizarre/loud/inconvenient/possibly frightening. Barb starts to realize that he seriously won't ever be able to function in the world on his own. Bob's health gets even worse, and with it, so does Chris's limited socialization. That is, if we assume that Bob was the one who tried to get him out of the house and teach him basic life skills and so on once Barb started sinking.

-Bob dies. Barb realizes that she can't handle Chris, but he's all she has, so she begins her "I'm so helpless"/"I will destroy you" campaign to both keep him from getting into any further trouble, and to make sure she's not alone.

So, to answer your question: No, I don't think this is what Barb wanted. I think this is her unhealthy response to what she sees as the hand she was dealt. Yes, as outsiders, we can see that a lot of the problems were of her own creation, but I don't think that when Chris was born, or diagnosed, she said to herself "Oh good! Now I can have the filthy home complete with pants-shitting tomgirl I've always dreamed of!"

This is all my speculation, though it does seem like a real progression.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

what would some of them be?

We know Cole claims that Barb was an abusive and neglectful mother. There have been incidents where she has shown herself to be an unreasonable bitch in public, such as arguing when she brought outside food into a restaurant and the owner told them it wasn't allowed. She is also known to coddle Chris and provide him with all the excuses he needs when he fucks up. From what I know the most Barb has punished Chris is by simply leaving the room and not defending Chris when Bob shouted at him for maxing out his credit card. It could be a desire to have a child that never grows up, but then why did she treat Cole so badly? Maybe Cole is bending the truth but he is very vocal about his hatred of Barb so it seems hard to believe it's all in Cole's head.

Nowadays she won't let Chris get away from her. This could be the end result of her coddling, but my personal pet theory is because now Bob is gone and Barb has estranged everyone else in her life, she's clinging on to Christian because she's frightened of being alone and he's all she has left as well as being the only person in the world that loves her. From the point of view of the extreme social isolation of Chris and Barb I can actually understand why she'd want to keep Chris close when she has nothing else left in this world except her hoard, but the social isolation is self-inflicted. She's also being icredibly selfish by stunting Chris' social opportunities even further and ensuring he will know nobody else once she dies and will be fated to live out the same miserable ending as her.

 

[CalmMyTits]

-Chris graduates, Barb retires (not sure of the exact sequence) and suddenly, he's home all day long, and so is she. He has problems at college & finding employment. This is depressing, and so Barb begins to sink into depression.

Barb retired in 1996 (not sure what time in the year) but Chris started his freshman year in 1996. So she stayed at home while he went to high school. Given that she and Bob are now retired all through Chris' high school years, at least they had one another (and no hoard, presumably) and Chris still had structure in his life (high school) I think this period of time was a reasonably normal and happy one for them because at least Bob and Barb had the day to themselves.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I don't think Barb started out intending to hoard Chris. She had no problem with letting him get jobs and go to college, and she was even OK with him having girlfriends. Her descent into hoardiness came later.
If I had to guess, I'd say Bob and Barb's original plan was that Chris might never be some sort of geinus but he could hold down a blue-collar job of some sort and live his own life. In their day that might even have been possible.

 

[DJAndyMD]

So, to answer your question: No, I don't think this is what Barb wanted. I think this is her unhealthy response to what she sees as the hand she was dealt. Yes, as outsiders, we can see that a lot of the problems were of her own creation, but I don't think that when Chris was born, or diagnosed, she said to herself "Oh good! Now I can have the filthy home complete with pants-shitting tomgirl I've always dreamed of!"

You know what, I was thinking the same. Usually, hoarders do not wake up one morning and decide to fill their house with meaningless crap. It is always a psychological problem that leads to this, and in my opinion, it could be that after 18 years, Chris' problems starting in college might have made her assume that she failed at raising a normal child and used possessions to qualm her depression.

 

[Kosher Dill]

She has to have always known Chris wasn't normal though. I think the hoarding was just sort of a degenerative thing after she retired, fell off the face of society, and lost Bob.

In a way, Barb's adult life was probably a lot like Chris's high school days. She probably had some "friends" at work who she'd see at lunch, or idly gossip with to pass the time, but obviously they never wanted to see her again after she left. And like Chris, once she left that structured, populated environment her mind started to disintegrate.

 

[RagtimeRoastBeefy]

So, to answer your question: No, I don't think this is what Barb wanted. I think this is her unhealthy response to what she sees as the hand she was dealt. Yes, as outsiders, we can see that a lot of the problems were of her own creation, but I don't think that when Chris was born, or diagnosed, she said to herself "Oh good! Now I can have the filthy home complete with pants-shitting tomgirl I've always dreamed of!"

You know what, I was thinking the same. Usually, hoarders do not wake up one morning and decide to fill their house with meaningless crap. It is always a psychological problem that leads to this, and in my opinion, it could be that after 18 years, Chris' problems starting in college might have made her assume that she failed at raising a normal child and used possessions to qualm her depression.

Definitely and as indicated earlier I think Coles reports of barbs abuse are exaggerated or rather her current husband at the time is responsible. Coles hatred of Bob stemmed from Bob putting a wedge in between Cole and his mother so I feel its unlikely that barb abused Cole to warrant his abandonment. I think maybe her ignoring his accomplishments or life that upset him which to me is a bit ridiculous as there were points epic ween kids were calling constantly.

I don't think barb wanted this but Chris' presence certainty makes being old and alone more bearable and barb will certainly fight to the death to keep that going. No matter how bad it is for Chris or herself

 

[Bridechu]

This isn't how Barb wanted her life to end. While Bob showed signs of Chris's social ineptness, Barb (at least from her own claims) was a cheerleader, lost her virginity at the usual time, and then she got pregnant out of wedlock when she was twenty-two and it all went to shit from there. Right now, like Chris she's just barely living and desperately clinging to the things she knows make her happy; her horde and Chris loving her.

 

[BigAltheGreat921]

what would some of them be?

We know Cole claims that Barb was an abusive and neglectful mother. There have been incidents where she has shown herself to be an unreasonable bitch in public, such as arguing when she brought outside food into a restaurant and the owner told them it wasn't allowed. She is also known to coddle Chris and provide him with all the excuses he needs when he fucks up. From what I know the most Barb has punished Chris is by simply leaving the room and not defending Chris when Bob shouted at him for maxing out his credit card. It could be a desire to have a child that never grows up, but then why did she treat Cole so badly? Maybe Cole is bending the truth but he is very vocal about his hatred of Barb so it seems hard to believe it's all in Cole's head.

Nowadays she won't let Chris get away from her. This could be the end result of her coddling, but my personal pet theory is because now Bob is gone and Barb has estranged everyone else in her life, she's clinging on to Christian because she's frightened of being alone and he's all she has left as well as being the only person in the world that loves her. From the point of view of the extreme social isolation of Chris and Barb I can actually understand why she'd want to keep Chris close when she has nothing else left in this world except her hoard, but the social isolation is self-inflicted. She's also being icredibly selfish by stunting Chris' social opportunities even further and ensuring he will know nobody else once she dies and will be fated to live out the same miserable ending as her.

God, this is really shaping up to be a full-blown tragedy.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

I think it's fairly safe to assume that Chris wasn't planned, and there were time's in the past where it seemed that Barb really didn't give a flying fuck what Chris was up to when he left her field of vision and she's clearly put no effort in whatsoever in preparing him for adult life. It's only now that Bob's gone that Barb seems to demand Chris stays with her at all times.

Yes, we have no concrete information on Barb, but the evidence we do have is that she's an extremely selfish bitch.

 

[CatParty]

If she wanted a slave/butler/nurse who'd spoon her in her twilight years, she got everything she ever wanted.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

God, this is really shaping up to be a full-blown tragedy.

Hehe. Yeah.

 

[LM 697]

Isn't that what everyone wants?

 

[qld]

If we only knew the details of some of the 'bizarre scenarios' Coleslaw mentioned, my life would be 100% better.

 

[Christ-Chan]

If she had wanted to keep Chris around as a pet she wouldn't have gone through all that trouble to get him to speak, she wouldn't have let him and Bob move away for high school - she would have kept him mute in some cage outback where the neighbors don't look.

I don't think she's some evil mastermind; I think she's just a really, really crappy parent and is in very deep denial about it. Who know, maybe she actually does need Chris around these days due to her medical condition?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

One thing I don't see people considering is that maybe she has been developing dementia over the past couple years. Chris sure as hell would not be in any shape to ever say "hey, wait a minute" as Barb gets crazier and crazier. He'll keep going along with whatever she says, no matter how much he hates it.

I think it may be a combination of dementia, plus Barb just generally deciding Chris has made one too many mistakes outside, so he's not allowed to have an outside life anymore. To her he's like a dog that bit the neighbor kid, so now it has to wear a muzzle at all times the rest of its life.