It's amazing how the penultimate solution to lolcow behavior is by stop using the internet

[pyrinyx]

I mean it intrigues me to think about from time to time. Apologies for not bringing in any concrete examples, but I have found that in some cases of lolcows, they seem to solve all of their problems by just not going online anymore. They entrap themselves in this realm of mania where everything they do online, suctions to them, making it difficult or impossible to be rid of. The internet never ever forgets if we archive it in time, providing continual reminders of the obscure retarded behavior performed by lolcows.

I think the true entertaining aspect of a lolcow, is how desperate they think that they can win such a steep uphill battle such as this reality. When the simple matter is, just cancel your internet service. They could of course just simply stop engaging in online platforms and stay in whatever little corner or hole they fester in. However that too seems to be a daunting task for them, because they get that itch. That itch that tells them in the corner of their devoid of a mind saying "...you can beat them". Then they try, fail and try harder to fail even harder just for our entertainment.

Nobody in the real world gives a flying fuck about their reputation, they're too busy, preoccupied and working routinely to give a damn. So there's no worry about anything spilling out, unless the behavior enables it to, for it to happen.

The internet as a whole is in and has been in a senile state of its own dystopia, there's little to no value in chugging it along. Just cancel your net and it will all go away.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I like how you try to use big words but you don't know what they mean.

 

[Bothriolepis]

The internet as a whole is in and has been in a senile state of its own dystopia, there's little to no value in chugging it along.

What in the actual fuck does this mean? What is this solution penultimate to? Suicide? Auschwitz? Suicide in Auschwitz?

I know you probably think that you sound smart, but I'm here to tell you in no uncertain terms that you actually sound like L. Ron Hubbard spitting up a partially digested thesaurus. Go to Auschwitz and kill yourself. Glock Macht Frei.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I like how you try to use big words but you don't know what they mean.

To be fair "penultimate" isn't wrong in this case, the ultimate solution is for the cow to kill themselves.

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

The internet as a whole is in and has been in a senile state of its own dystopia, there's little to no value in chugging it along. Just cancel your net and it will all go away.​

EMPATHY: The internet as a whole is in, and has been in a senile state of its own dystopia; there's little to no value in chugging it along. Just cancel your net and it will all go away.

 

[not william stenchever]

To be fair "penultimate" isn't wrong in this case, the ultimate solution is for the cow to kill themselves.

Damn, beat me to it.

 

[Grub]

Most lolcows are also insufferable to the people around them in their real lives as well. It's not like posting retarded shit on the internet is what makes lolcows the way they are. They become lolcows because they post about the retarded shit in their lives all the time. Their retarded shitty lives don't stop being retarded and shitty just because they stop telling the world about it.

 

[Marc]

Every one of my personal cows goes through periods of staying offline - But they're cows in the first place because they can't hack it in the real world, and refuse to address the reasons for it - The only gumption or resolve they work themselves up to is, at best, "fake it and power through; hoping things will just magically work out because I deserve it." They invariably return more ridiculous than before - driven back to their preferred soapbox of escapism by real, consequential failure and the hope they can depend upon it to offset any amount of the increased regrets and lost opportunities weighing on them, fueling the retreat.

Some of them are cyclical schizocows who obviously drop off once the manic posting/vlogging streaks precipitate their return to the funny farm. One of them recently returned from a prolonged absence with nothing more than a selfie to illustrate that being separated from their social media in no way slowed their freefall:



[For ethical reasons, this isn't the actual cow - I looked through random obituary photos until I found one which resembled them and their mouthful of cracker jacks. Believe it or not, the real one resembles the DVD box art for one of the Killjoy films].

 

[AbyssGazer]

There's a famous duo of prank callers in my country (lolcows in their own right). They prankcalled some boomer over the course of years. They made him fall for one hilariously retarded bait after the next. It culminated in a physical altercation after the man miraculously doxed one of the callers, but I digress.

All the stupid fuck had to do over all these years was to hang up the damn phone. But he never did. Not once during the daily, hour long shouting matches. That is the lolcow mindset.