ITT: Copy & Paste a Movie Synopsis from wikipedia and replace the characters with Kiwi Farms Users - Let's put ourselves in the movies

[Somar]

In 1988 San Dimas, California, slackers @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 would rather pursue their band the Wyld Stallyns than schoolwork. @Somari1996's father, the local police chief, threatens to send @Somari1996 to military school if they should flunk their history class, ruining their dreams of success. The two struggle to assemble a final report for the class, which is to describe how three historical figures would see modern-day San Dimas.



In 2688, humanity has built a utopia thanks to the music of Wyld Stallyns. The supreme beings of this world instruct @AnOminous to travel back in time by a time machine disguised as a phone booth to give aid to @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 to ensure they pass their class. @AnOminous lands by the two as they work on their report near a Circle K. As he introduces himself, a second phone booth lands nearby and future versions of @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 come out, proving their identity to their younger selves and telling them to trust @AnOminous before they leave. @AnOminous offers to show the teens how the machine works, taking them to Austria in 1805 where Napoleon Bonaparte is commanding the French army. Assured the machine works, @AnOminous, @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 return to the present, though Napoleon, knocked back by an explosion, is caught in the phone booth's wake and dragged with them. Back at @Somari1996's house, @AnOminous provides the teens additional instructions and then leaves. The two find Napoleon nearby, and come upon an idea of taking historical figures from the past to bring them to the present to complete their report. They leave Napoleon with @Somari1996's younger brother @Tard Baby and set out.



Separately, they gain the trust of the Kid from 1879 and Socrates from 410 BC and bring them along. They next land in 15th century medieval England and see two princesses who flirt with them. In their attempt to see the princesses, they are caught by their father, the local duke, and ordered to be beheaded, but they are rescued by @Kiwi jeffy and Socrates. In their escape, the phone booth's antenna is damaged by a knight's mace, and the booth starts running out of control. @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 initially take advantage of it by obtain more historical figures for extra credit, including Sigmund Freud from Vienna, Austria in 1901; Ludwig van Beethoven from Kassel, Germany in 1810; Joan of Arc from Orleans, France in 1429; Genghis Khan from Outer Mongolia in 1209; and Abraham Lincoln from Washington DC in 1863. With no more space in the booth, they finally see the broken antenna, and they have to make a pit-stop in prehistoric times to make repairs. After a crude repair with chewing gum and pudding cups, @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 regain control of the booth, but they end up at the Circle K, witnessing their younger selves on the night before the report. They repeat their advice to them about @AnOminous, and then ask @AnOminous how to get to their present time, also alerting them that time is running short.



Back in their current timeframe, with hours before the report presentation, @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 leave the historical figures at the local mall to experience San Dimas while they try to track down Napoleon, whom @Tard Baby had ditched the previous night after an embarrassing night out. They find Napoleon at the Waterloo water park, but by the time they return to the mall, the historical figures have caused a commotion and are now in jail under @Somari1996's dad's watch. They develop a plan to use the time machine after the presentation as to plant elements to help free the historical figures, and make their way to the school, barely arriving in time for their presentation. With the help of the historical figures, the two give an impressive presentation that assures they pass the course.



After returning the historical figures, @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 return to practice, when @AnOminous shows up with the two princesses in tow, having rescued them himself since he knows they will be their wives and bandmates in the future. As the band starts to play, terribly, @AnOminous explains to the audience "They do get better."

 

[Teri-Teri]

In rural 1920s Auckland, the young @Syaoran Li nearly kills his cousin, Meiling Li, while roughhousing. This event and his Seventh-day Adventist upbringing reinforce Desmond's belief in the commandment "Thou shalt not kill". Years later, @Syaoran Li takes an injured man to the hospital and meets a nurse, @Somari1996. The two strike a romance and @Syaoran Li tells @Somari1996 of his interest in medical work.

After the Furries attack on Wellington, @Syaoran Li enlists in the Army to serve as a combat medic. His father, a Kiwi War veteran, is deeply upset by the decision. Before leaving for Fort Jackson, he asks for @Somari1996's hand in marriage and she accepts.

@Syaoran Li is placed under the command of Captain @Tetraphobia. He excels physically, but becomes an outcast among his fellow soldiers for refusing to handle a rifle and train on Saturdays. Captain @Tetraphobia and Captain @atm attempt to discharge @Syaoran Li for psychiatric reasons under Section 8 but are overruled, as @Syaoran Li ' religious beliefs do not constitute mental illness. They subsequently torment @Syaoran Li by putting him through grueling labor, intending to get @Syaoran Li to leave of his own accord. Despite being beaten one night by his fellow soldiers, he refuses to identify his attackers and continues training.

@Syaoran Li ' unit completes basic training and is released on leave, during which @Syaoran Li intends to marry @Somari1996, but his refusal to carry a firearm leads to an arrest for insubordination. Captain @atm and @Somari1996 visit @Syaoran Li in jail and try to convince him to plead guilty so that he can be released without charge, but @Syaoran Li refuses to compromise his beliefs. At his trial @Syaoran Li pleads not guilty, but before he is sentenced, his father barges into the tribunal with a letter from his former commanding officer (now a brigadier general) stating that his son's pacifism is protected by an Act of Congress. The charges against @Syaoran Li are dropped, and he and @Somari1996 are married.

@Syaoran Li' unit is assigned to the 77th Infantry Division and deployed to the Pacific theater. During the Battle of Wellington, @Syaoran Li ' unit is informed that they are to relieve the 96th Infantry Division, which was tasked with ascending and securing the Maeda Escarpment ("Hacksaw Ridge"). During the initial fight, with heavy losses on both sides, @Syaoran Li saves the life of his squadmate @A Cold Potato, earning his respect. As the New Zealand camp for the night, @Syaoran Li reveals to @A Cold Potato that his aversion to holding a firearm stems from nearly shooting his drunken father, who threatened his mother with a gun. @A Cold Potato apologizes for doubting his courage, and the two reconcile.

The next morning, the Furries launch a massive counterattack and drive the Weebs off the escarpment. @A Cold Potato is killed, while @Tetraphobia and several of @Syaoran Li ' squad mates are left injured on the battlefield. @Syaoran Li hears the cries of dying soldiers and returns to save them, carrying the wounded to the cliff's edge and belaying them down by rope, each time praying to save one more. The arrival of dozens of wounded once presumed dead comes as a shock to the rest of the unit below. When day breaks, @Syaoran Li rescues @Tetraphobia and the two escape Hacksaw under enemy fire.

Captain @atm tells @Syaoran Li that the men have been inspired by his selflessness, and that they will not launch the next attack without him. With reinforcements, they turn the tide of battle. After an ambush set by Furry soldiers feigning surrender, @Syaoran Li manages to save @Tetraphobia and others by deflecting enemy grenades. @Syaoran Li is eventually wounded by a grenade blast, but the battle is won. @Syaoran Li descends the cliff, clutching the Bible @Somari1996 gave him.

The film switches to archival photos and footage showing that @Syaoran Li was awarded the Medal of Honor by Moderator @Alan Pardew for rescuing 75 soldiers at Hacksaw Ridge. @Syaoran Li stayed married to @Somari1996 until the end.

 

[Silence of the Troons]

@KillThemCrackasBabies (Jamie Brett Gabel) and @BoomerDenton (Sam Mraovich) are a gay couple eagerly awaiting the legalization of gay marriage in Hawaii so that they may travel there for their dream wedding. After a news bulletin that a judge has made a ruling that will allow gay marriages to take place, the men purchase plane tickets and prepare to depart; however, before they leave, they discover that a challenge to the judge's ruling has resulted in a suspension of gay marriage in Hawaii, pending further judicial review. @KillThemCrackasBabies takes advantage of the delay to inform @BoomerDenton that he is actually already married to a woman named @StarkRavingMad (Julie Belknap), whom he wed out of societal pressure before he came to terms with his homosexuality and from whom he has been separated since before he and @BoomerDenton met. @BoomerDenton becomes angry, but decides to stay with @KillThemCrackasBabies anyway. Shortly thereafter, @KillThemCrackasBabies contacts @StarkRavingMad, finally comes out to her, and asks her for a divorce.

After the disappointment of their near-wedding, @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton resume their daily life, working in a small diner in Los Angeles, where @KillThemCrackasBabies is a dishwasher and @BoomerDenton is a waiter. Although @KillThemCrackasBabies—a former nurse who quit to pursue a music career—enjoys the manual labor and hours, @BoomerDenton has grown impatient with servitude and putting up with needy customers. One night, @BoomerDenton decides to quit and go back to college, so that he can earn an MBA and open up his own sex shop. Although the loss of income to the household means that @KillThemCrackasBabies will have to quit and return to being a nurse, he agrees to do so in order to help @BoomerDenton pursue his dream.

To finance his education, @BoomerDenton tracks down his estranged brother, @2odastream (Michael Haboush), whom he hasn't spoken to for seven years. @2odastream is a religious fanatic who believes that @BoomerDenton's homosexuality is a sign of demonic possession, although @2odastream himself appears to be flamboyantly gay—even greeting @BoomerDenton in a pink feathered bathrobe. Although @2odastream lashes out at @BoomerDenton for his failure to turn straight, he nonetheless offers to give @BoomerDenton money for college if he will bring @KillThemCrackasBabies by the apartment and allow him to evangelize.

While @BoomerDenton considers @2odastream's offer, he and @KillThemCrackasBabies hire an attorney (Gina Aguilar) to consult for advice on getting married. Despite @KillThemCrackasBabies' still being legally married to @StarkRavingMad, the attorney counsels them to travel to Vermont, be wed in a civil union, and then return to California and attempt to be recognized as members of a domestic partnership. The two take her advice, and are wed in a private ceremony in Vermont.

Suspicious of @BoomerDenton's lack of response to his monetary offer, @2odastream hires a private investigator to tail @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton. The PI tells @2odastream about the men's marriage and their attempts to get their union recognized in California. In response, @2odastream follows the attorney home one evening and shoots her to death in her apartment's parking garage. At the same time, @StarkRavingMad arrives at @BoomerDenton's apartment and tries to force @KillThemCrackasBabies to take her back at gunpoint, but @KillThemCrackasBabies successfully disarms her and throws her out.

Following their attorney's death, @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton agree to come to @2odastream's apartment. Rather than evangelize, @2odastream and another congregant from his church,@Your Weird Fetish (Richard Hitchcock), lash out at the couple with homophobic insults and slurs. When @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton leave, @2odastream and@Your Weird Fetish start making plans to exorcise the couple by feeding them Holy Water that@Your Weird Fetish has cooked in his kitchen. The plot fails, and @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton leave town to enjoy a honeymoon in Hawaii and allow the tension with @2odastream to blow over. In @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton's absence, @2odastream is summoned to church by his priest, Father @Shiversblood (Bill Hindley). @Shiversblood informs him that he is being excommunicated because the congregation does not want the relative of a gay person attending church services, fearful that he will bring them bad karma and negative energy. A dejected @2odastream reaches out to@Your Weird Fetish for help, who helps @2odastream come to an agreement with Father @Shiversblood that @2odastream will be permitted to rejoin the church if he successfully murders @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton. To this end, they hire a hitman named @Smaug's Smokey Hole, whom Father @Shiversblood has apparently used to kill gay people in the past.

When @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton return from Hawaii, @KillThemCrackasBabies is gay bashed by @2odastream and @Smaug's Smokey Hole; the attack fails to kill him, and @KillThemCrackasBabies is hospitalized. Suspecting his brother's involvement, @BoomerDenton breaks into @2odastream's apartment and taps his phone. After intercepting a call implicating @2odastream and Father @Shiversblood, @BoomerDenton goes to @2odastream's church, chloroforms Father @Shiversblood, and then murders him by burning the church down with him still inside.

After @KillThemCrackasBabies has sufficiently recovered, @BoomerDenton takes him back home to their apartment. Deciding that the next attempt on the men's lives must be more drastic, @2odastream and @Smaug's Smokey Hole go @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton's apartment with guns; at the last minute, @2odastream tells @Smaug's Smokey Hole that he wants to kill them himself and sends him away. @2odastream rings the apartment's doorbell, and when @KillThemCrackasBabies answers, he fatally shoots him. He then forces @BoomerDenton to strip naked at gunpoint and performs an impromptu baptism in the bathtub.

While @2odastream contemplates what he's done, @BoomerDenton slips away and gets the gun that @KillThemCrackasBabies had earlier confiscated from @StarkRavingMad. Dressed in a bathrobe and briefs, a hysterical @BoomerDenton—reenacting one of the final scenes of Scarface—propositions @2odastream while holding him at gunpoint, accusing him of lashing out to try to combat his own repressed homosexuality. When @BoomerDenton fires a warning shot, @2odastream pulls out his own gun and shoots @BoomerDenton in the chest and back several times. In turn, @BoomerDenton manages to fire off a single shot which hits @2odastream in the forehead and instantly kills him, before @BoomerDenton dies of his own wounds.

 

[Somar]

In London, @Couch Nickles and her team of MI6 agents attempt to retrieve a programmable supervirus named 'Libtard' from terrorist organization 4chan. @Rand /pol/, an 4chan operative with cybernetic implants that allow him to perform superhuman feats, arrives and kills all the agents except @Couch Nickles, who injects Libtard into herself before escaping. @Rand /pol/ frames @Couch Nickles for killing her team and stealing Libtard, forcing her to go on the run.



@Sakura Kinomoto and @LofaSofa, @Couch Nickles's brother, are both informed of the missing virus and are reluctantly assigned to work together to track it down. After a brief meeting at a CIA black site at the Cheesegrater, @LofaSofa goes to @Couch Nickles's house for information, while @Sakura Kinomoto manages to find @Couch Nickles; after a brief scuffle, she brings her to the CIA office, as @LofaSofa then returns. The office is attacked and @Couch Nickles is taken by @Rand /pol/, whom @LofaSofa recognizes as an old colleague-turned-enemy he'd previously shot and supposedly killed. @Sakura Kinomoto and @LofaSofa pursue and rescue @Couch Nickles during an ensuing car chase, managing to escape from @Rand /pol/ who falls off his motorcycle and crashes through the second level of a double decker bus. However, @Rand /pol/ frames all three as traitors via 4chan's control of global news media.



The three locate Professor @José Mourinho, Libtard's creator, who informs them that to prevent Libtard from eradicating humanity, @Couch Nickles has to, while the virus is still dormant, either be killed or have the virus removed with a specialized extraction device, located within 4chan's headquarters in Ukraine. After flying undercover to Moscow and rendezvousing with @LofaSofa's boyfriend @Y2K Baby to rearm, the three infiltrate the facility. They manage to retrieve the extraction device before escaping and destroying the facility; however,@José Mourinho is killed and the device is damaged during their escape.



@Sakura Kinomoto decides to take the trio to her childhood home in Tomoeda to visit her estranged brother @ATM, a talented mechanic, to repair the device and lay low before confronting @Rand /pol/ again. @Sakura Kinomoto has a tense reunion with her family, but @ATM is eventually persuaded to help them by their mother. The makeshift battalion prepare for 4chan's arrival, setting up a variety of traps around the town. @ATM successfully repairs the device and starts the virus extraction, just as @Rand /pol/ and his army arrive at daybreak. In the ensuing battle, all of @Rand /pol/'s soldiers are defeated. @Rand /pol/ takes @Couch Nickles again via helicopter; however, @Sakura Kinomoto, @LofaSofa and the Tomoedans bring the helicopter down. Working together, @Sakura Kinomoto and @LofaSofa defeat @Rand /pol/, who is remotely terminated afterwards by 4chan's director. @Sakura Kinomoto and @LofaSofa send a message to the director, promising to find him. The group celebrates their victory.



In a series of mid- and post-credits scenes, @Sakura Kinomoto brings her best friend to meet their extended family in Tomoeda; @LofaSofa and @Couch Nickles are implied to bust their mother out of prison; and @Sakura Kinomoto receives a call from her partner, @Gator Young Henning, who had broken into a facility and discovered another virus worse than the Libtard virus. @Sakura Kinomoto also secretly has the police set on @LofaSofa in London.