So when's Eli coming home, Jace?
It's late on a November Monday night. Jace is live streaming his video game mad skills. Gail is at "bible study" with Pastor Faggot. Everything's calm. And then, a knock at the door.
"Go away!" yells the ex-Marine. Another knock, louder this time.
"I'm busy faggot!".
The person at the front door begins pounding on it. Jace sighs, pauses his game, and walks to the front door. He opens it. "Alright asshole, what do you wa..."
At the door is a maniac. He's covered in dirt, dust, sand, and blood. He's dressed in a ratty old hoodie, faded jeans, and old work boots held together with duct tape. A thick chain is wrapped around his chest; it's being used to hold a duffle bag to his back. His hands are wrapped in bandages, his hair and beard wild. Scars cross his heavily sunburned face. He's thin, ragged, he looks like he could collapse at any minute. He's grinning insanely, his slimy teeth glinting in the faint light. His eyes are wide, glimmering, filled with an insane fury. In his hand is a machete.
"Hi Jace. Remember me?"
"Uhhhhh, shit, there's a homeless shelter like-"
"Typical. Don't even remember your own friends."
"Wait, friend? wait, Eli. OH SHIT ELI'S STILL IN ISRAEL!"
"Now you remember. You left me to die out there. It didn't work."
"Hey dude I had problems too, I got kicked-"
"Oh, YOU'VE HAD PROBLEMS? Yeah, tell me all about them! While you've been here sitting on your ass smoking weed and playing video games, I was dodging literal bullets. Yeah, I got kidnapped by terrorists and brought into Gaza. I escaped them, evaded their forces, survived Israeli rocket strikes, and then escaped Gaza through a crumbling tunnel I thought was going to cave in on me. THEN, I had to walk through miles of desert to get back to Tel Aviv. And then, I got mistaken for a terrorist and shot at in the desert. And when I reached Tel Aviv, did my troubles end? NO! I didn't have any money, I was afraid I'd get arrested if I went to the embassy, and had no way of contacting anyone. So , I snuck into the cargo hold of a ship. Yeah. I survived eating whatever food I brought and rats that I caught. I drunk water that condensed on the steam pipes. Finally it docked in New York, I went overboard, and walked back here. And do you know why?"
Jace starts backing away.
"Uh, Eli, I don't know, just calm-"
"Oh I think you know why." Eli said, as he came closer and closer machete glinting...
Jace sits alone in his room. His X-Box and laptop are missing. His phone rings, it's a tweet from Eli.
"Hey Jace, dis XBone is fuckin chill. 2bad u can't play lol."
Jace groans and starts sobbing.
