James Rolfe / James D. Rolfe / Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) / Rex Viper and Cinemassacre / Screenwave - Now with not much grieving about a 41-year old man still making videos on YouTube. We're the balls on the dick.

Which videos do you like the most from Cinemassacre?

  • Angry Video Game Nerd

    Votes: 1,812 63.5%
  • You Know Whats Bullshit

    Votes: 143 5.0%
  • James and Mike Mondays

    Votes: 96 3.4%
  • Board James

    Votes: 443 15.5%
  • Monster Madness

    Votes: 270 9.5%
  • James' movie reviews

    Votes: 90 3.2%

  • Total voters
    2,854
A friend gifted me his book at Thanksgiving. It was a nice thought because my pal knew I was a fan of this dude (or was a long time ago) and I had no idea he had written one. I’ve been long unsubscribed from Cinemassacre’s YouTube channel, and I haven’t been on The Truth, or this thread, in well over a year. This stuff really wasn’t all that interesting me anymore, but I decided to read the book anyway.

Wow. I really cannot add much more than what has already been said these last 20 or so pages on this thread. I had always envisioned James as one of those dudes that I would gladly have a beer with if I met him. After reading his autobiography, I’m kind of embarrassed to even admit I was ever a fan. I acknowledge the stones it takes to be critical about oneself, but the amount of oversharing and egregious self-felating that goes on is extreme. James really does think of himself as this retarded film visionary.

The more he talks about his muh kids, the less impressed I am. Nothing he describes doing with his kids is…. Anything outside of the norm. Great job, you take your children to amusement parks and play with them. Are we really so disconnected from parental instinct where the mere notion of paying attention to your children is laudable?

He continues to lie to himself about every facet of his AVGN movie. Sad to see. If he were capable of admitting failure like he is seemingly capable of admitting literally everything else, I think he’d grow as a filmmaker. The movie wasn’t good, James. Nothing about it was impressive, not even your zealous defense of it.

The biggest takeaway for me after reading this book is that he always feels the need to compare himself and his accomplishments to something or someone else, and this is to his detriment. In his mind, he really does see himself on a similar stature to Rob Zombie - except Rob Zombie has found success in both film (somehow) and music. No one wants this. All we wanted this entire time was James. He continues to dismiss that his success was largely because he was a pioneer of his time, but insists on his own brilliance. His lack of self-awareness, even as an adult, is why he didn’t end AVGN after the Mega Man episode.

Even though the book was entertaining enough, I would not recommend it. It’s an incredibly poor read. To be honest, I would not be surprised if the entire thing was recorded via text-to-speech, because it is written exactly how James would speak. My friends and I would quote all of the Unforgivable, AVGN, and the Juggernaut Bitch video(s) some 15+ or so years ago, and I feel like reading the book managed to tarnish some of those fond memories. I’m not sure why James felt this book was necessary at all. I would have rather had a collection of the shitty scripts he has written, but here we are.

I guess I’m slightly relieved that it was James himself that delivered the deathblow of AVGN et al for me, and not the Screenwave guys.
 
Wow. I really cannot add much more than what has already been said these last 20 or so pages on this thread. I had always envisioned James as one of those dudes that I would gladly have a beer with if I met him.
Very mild PL, but I met James at a con back when the Screw Attack guys were way bigger draws than he was. I went to a table and asked Stuttering Craig where James was, and he just went 'over there'. Went up, and he was polite and signed my Atari cartridge in his Shit Pickle shirt. He was very withdrawn and I'm glad I saw him before the fame got to his head. I figured he'd be a big deal and sure enough, he was for a long time.
 
Kickassia is better, it came out of nowhere one day and was just posted online, as opposed to years of hype and an actual theatrical/blu ray run, the novelty of a feature length web video was pretty fresh, as was the novelty of seeing all those people together.
Wasn't Doug Walker the one that wanted one of his female contributors to show her tits in a movie?
 
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Very mild PL, but I met James at a con back when the Screw Attack guys were way bigger draws than he was. I went to a table and asked Stuttering Craig where James was, and he just went 'over there'. Went up, and he was polite and signed my Atari cartridge in his Shit Pickle shirt. He was very withdrawn and I'm glad I saw him before the fame got to his head. I figured he'd be a big deal and sure enough, he was for a long time.
I don't think fame ever got to his head but is how he always viewed what content he made. Mean look at the excerpts posted here about his time in college.

He continues to lie to himself about every facet of his AVGN movie. Sad to see. If he were capable of admitting failure like he is seemingly capable of admitting literally everything else, I think he’d grow as a filmmaker. The movie wasn’t good, James. Nothing about it was impressive, not even your zealous defense of it.
 
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Bizarre statement aside. Note: VISA VERSA. As opposed to vice versa...

avgn book.JPG

For his extensive knowledge of genre films this take is still surprising to me. Did he learn nothing that a lot of filmmakers made movies in their back yard such as Peter Jackson with Bad Taste or John Waters shooting everything in Baltimore or that Evil Dead was shot in the middle of nowhere? It paints a telling picture: he didn't want to be a filmmaker, he wanted the fantasy of being a filmmaker.
 
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Bizarre statement aside. Note: VISA VERSA. As opposed to vice versa...

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For his extensive knowledge of genre films this take is still surprising to me. Did he learn nothing that a lot of filmmakers made movies in their back yard such as Peter Jackson with Bad Taste or John Waters shooting everything in Baltimore or that Evil Dead was shot in the middle of nowhere? It paints a telling picture: he didn't want to be a filmmaker, he wanted the fantasy of being a filmmaker.
Those had friends and the skills needed to get people in board ether putting a little bit of money into their project or to help in other ways. Looking at Bad Taste, that movie near the end of product got a cash injection from New Zealand Film Commission, no way James could ever convinced a body like that to give him money as he doesn't have the talent nor gift of the gab needed.

Even now I doubt James could get private investment into a movie and would have to rely on self funding or do another kickstarter where he asks fans to fund it.
 
Those had friends and the skills needed to get people in board ether putting a little bit of money into their project or to help in other ways. Looking at Bad Taste, that movie near the end of product got a cash injection from New Zealand Film Commission, no way James could ever convinced a body like that to give him money as he doesn't have the talent nor gift of the gab needed.

Even now I doubt James could get private investment into a movie and would have to rely on self funding or do another kickstarter where he asks fans to fund it.
Even still, he could have saved up some cash or borrowed to make that movie.

I re-watched the AVGN Movie and with the context of the book in mind everything made sense: you're watching something made by a sheltered person on the spectrum and for the most part his sense of humor only goes so far as Piss & Shit jokes and pratfalls. That's about it. He didn't have anyone really challenge him on the script or his direction (or lack thereof) because his inner circle either didn't care or didn't understand.

This could be the discovery of a new sub-sub-genre of movies made by weird sheltered people. You have the AVGN movie then you have the later day career of Nick Millard (RIP) the director of Criminally Insane AKA Crazy Fat Ethel and Crazy Fat Ethel 2.


Then you have the filmography of Carl Sukenick:

 
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Oh man his book is MovieBob levels of autism. He tried cutting himself with a box cutter at Walmart to get out of work. And failed. And every paragraph is written (and I use that term lightly) in a grandiose “all or nothing” manner. It’s fascinating to see someone try and suck their own dick, only to reveal how retarded they really are.

I thoroughly recommend it.
 
Should I buy this shitty book, or do you think he's stupid enough to leave it unedited?
 
*Edited, an hour or so later.

It did surface to my mind, a moment, when I realized when this guy may be retarded. I think it was one of his, "You know what is Bullshit" videos, where he shat on Blu-ray. It made me realize, this guy either has a shit set-up at home for viewing films, or, he is so invested in old media he cannot stand a better format out there, or, he is just retarded.

Bruno may back me up on this, since judging by his interests, I have probably bumped into him on a few Horror and AV boards over the years without knowing it. I ONCE had a guy, bitching about a Blu-ray release of a title, and I posted on a thread screencaps of the Blu-ray along side with the DVD, same time-stamps. He then accused me of cherry-picking scenes. I told him, name some scenes, time-stamped, and you can compare for yourself, I'll cap both the DVD and Blu. You name it, I will do it. This guy would not name any timestamps, he just accused me of cherry-picking, nobody can tell the differences between 480 and 1080, etc. When I saw that AVGN video, which I did not finish watching,a bout how he thought Blu-ray was Bullshit, i do recall before this auto-biography, that being a telling moment for me.

So, whew, when i saw that, "Blu-ray is Bullshit" video from this AVGN, it really did make me question a lot from him.

I've known some people like that. There's a small cadre of people who complain about pretty much everything when something is released. I remember a guy complaining about the merch Severin would put out to go along with their releases.

For context they do things like this:


Or when they released Night of the Demon last year and had a brand new novelization made, a mask based on the bigfoot was available, and a statue of the bigfoot holding a severed dick.


Screenshot-20211122-194722-Instagram.jpg
 
*Edited, an hour or so later.

It did surface to my mind, a moment, when I realized when this guy may be retarded. I think it was one of his, "You know what is Bullshit" videos, where he shat on Blu-ray. It made me realize, this guy either has a shit set-up at home for viewing films, or, he is so invested in old media he cannot stand a better format out there, or, he is just retarded.

Bruno may back me up on this, since judging by his interests, I have probably bumped into him on a few Horror and AV boards over the years without knowing it. I ONCE had a guy, bitching about a Blu-ray release of a title, and I posted on a thread screencaps of the Blu-ray along side with the DVD, same time-stamps. He then accused me of cherry-picking scenes. I told him, name some scenes, time-stamped, and you can compare for yourself, I'll cap both the DVD and Blu. You name it, I will do it. This guy would not name any timestamps, he just accused me of cherry-picking, nobody can tell the differences between 480 and 1080, etc. When I saw that AVGN video, which I did not finish watching,a bout how he thought Blu-ray was Bullshit, i do recall before this auto-biography, that being a telling moment for me.

So, whew, when i saw that, "Blu-ray is Bullshit" video from this AVGN, it really did make me question a lot from him.
It wasn't just blu ray is bullshit but a whole top 10 reasons why blu ray suck

Reason four really makes me laugh because he has no idea that JVC did get money off every VHS sold, DVD was owned by Sony, Panasonic, Philips and Toshiba. Hell he even gets Blu Ray ownership wrong with Panasonic, Pioneer, Philips, Thomson, LG Electronics, Hitachi, Sharp, Samsung Electronics and Sony all having ownership. Does he think VHS tec was public domain or something?
 
More shots from the book:

avgn book new.JPG

Later on the entire reel of film turned out black and unusable. Whoops. But there's yet more questions: why dig a hole and partially fill it in later when you could have just moved the tombstone to another spot with a hole already dug? Or, you get creative with the camera angles and don't show the hole or parts of the hole, etc.

avgn book new 2.png
He essentially admits this is when he lost his passion for filmmaking when he became a family man. Confirming what everyone thought that the movie took it's toll on him.
 
This is funnier than anything Cinemassacre has released in years and years. I hope James released the narrated version (i.e. the version he narrated into a speech-to-text recorder). Like I know how it sounds in my head since it's so obvious that's how he "wrote" this book, but I want to actually hear it, it would be one of his career highlights and something on par with Chris's bizarre ramblings.
 
The wife looks different in every appearance she has made.

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Bonus: https://twitter.com/cinemassacre/status/1360962143168962560

MORE asspats for the wife.
Another shot of the wife.

avgn book new 3.png

You could make a game out of this and ask someone if this is the same woman from shot to shot.

avgn humble.jpg

A very humble man right here. Should I even say anything about Cannibal Holocaust being the first found footage movie in 1979?
 
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He essentially admits this is when he lost his passion for filmmaking when he became a family man. Confirming what everyone thought that the movie took it's toll on him.
Damn. For some reason, it's infuriating to have this confirmed.
"Can't work anymore, muh kids" still makes absolutely no sense to me.
 
Another shot of the wife.

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You could make a game out of this and ask someone if this is the same woman from shot to shot.

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A very humble man right here. Should I even say anything about Cannibal Holocaust being the first found footage movie in 1979?
The self-aggrandizing is off the charts. Appreciate you going above and beyond to read this garbage.
 
So you know how people liked music and then they would learn how to play an instrument. only they like music they dont like playing music.

Does the book talk about how james learned how to play for rex viper?

I m kinda surprised because in some old screw attack era, BTS video he explains his work flow with like a script how the footage is saved, how its backed up. And shit man to crank out 2 episodes, I think anyone watching that would see that the dude isnt a cow.

Isnt bored james really a bootsy project?

part of what comes through with AVGN is that you had men born in the 1980s chill talk about when they rented games at the video store, or playing with ninja turtles. When you in your late 40's its kinda sad.

If james wanted to make movies he coulda just made outlines, found or hired an editor/writer. Then sell it.

But hey at least James is so autistic he did go chris chan or troon.....wait didnt a screen wave dude go tranny?
 
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