James Rolfe / James D. Rolfe / Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) / Rex Viper and Cinemassacre / Screenwave - Now with not much grieving about a 41-year old man still making videos on YouTube. We're the balls on the dick.

Which videos do you like the most from Cinemassacre?

  • Angry Video Game Nerd

    Votes: 1,812 63.5%

  • You Know Whats Bullshit

    Votes: 143 5.0%

  • James and Mike Mondays

    Votes: 96 3.4%

  • Board James

    Votes: 443 15.5%

  • Monster Madness

    Votes: 270 9.5%

  • James' movie reviews

    Votes: 90 3.2%
  • Total voters
    2,854
Pissmaster said:
He shows it off like he's proud of it. He should wax it and have it obnoxiously reflect light into the camera to really seal the deal.
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Yeah...i dont know. Not much to do about a receding hairline....but it really stands out now.
Nerd have never used any headwear so it will probably be distracting if he started wearing something aswell.....but it feels really off somehow.
 
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Episode wasn't terrible, just sort of boring. Gets really annoying when he keeps yelling "BRAIN!" randomly throughout the third game's review. At least there wasn't a super shitty skit this time. Caveman Kieran's replacement editor has been revealed, some poor schmuck named Sean O'Rourke. Screenwave probably pays him in Jameson and potatoes.
 
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Damn , bro seriously not gonna let the hair go ,
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he's got a good six dare I say sevenhead now.
 
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thegooddoctor said:
Maybe he is but in a very minor way, he's still leagues above people like Gunt and DSP
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Not all lolcows are as obnoxious/incompetent as Ethan Oliver Ralph or DSP. James is a lolcow because people enjoy watching him fuck things up. That and he's washed up and not really unironically popular anymore. Most people who watch James are either old fans or people like us and the Asshole Subreddit.
thegooddoctor said:
people seem to forget its only recently he's completely stagnated in his approach to work and his videos.
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Nah, things started going wrong in 2017. There have been some okay episodes since then (Amiga CD32, Majora's Mask, Earthbound, Polybius to name a few) but its overall been pretty bad
 
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johnny dollars said:
I watch their Cinemassacre content. Everything else they make is the very definition of mid. They're basically James if James knew what he was doing. So their perspective is interesting. They also do a decent job of summarizing the gist of what goes on that Subreddit. So I'd recommend throwing it on in the background while you do something else.
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Other than their AVGN critique, their probably best known for their dedication of their Boxmac series reviewing boxed grocery store macaroni and cheese.

They've been doing it for 8 years with over 200 episodes on Sundays with a niche following and modest success (<10k episode).

Their channel does tons of random shit. They have series following their friend Johnathan Hunt ("Junt") to bargain hunt at local discount stores and county fairs. One of the co-hosts EJ makes infrequent cooking vids mostly focused on the BBQ (he also made a Big Mac flavoured turkey by blending burgers and injecting it into the bird).

They've also done parody stuff like a pirate pizza review episode and a spoof reviewing trash bags. They've done candy reviews and done nostalgic retrospectives on retail restaurants that closed in their area.

They all have FT jobs but produce tons of content, have a true passion for making content and filmmaking and have remarkable tenacity considering they haven't had anything but the AVGN stuff go viral.

The other thing I appreciate is that they hide their politics well. They live in Massachusetts and Rhode Island, so I'd assume I would be turned off if I knew what they actually think.

But I've watched lots of their content over the last year without getting enraged or getting much sense which way they lean, which is so refreshing.
 
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thegooddoctor said:
speak of the devil, new episode peeps.
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The first 2/3 are alright, the usual case where James actually played the game in the past so he has actual feeling towards read rather than reading a script of a game someone else played, though the part where he destroyed the game was just plain unfunny and unnecessary. The last third is bad though, the game looks bad but there's no emotion there, and trying to insert the sound effect doesn't work (especially the Nerd doing it rather than using the game's assets).
 
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BrunoMattei said:
Apologies in advance for sperging and for those who might be offended but I am going to count the ways James/Screenwave can fuck up an Earthworm Jim review:

1: very basic bitch take on the character, Doug TenNapel, Playmates toys. Won't mention how the game was conceived first to launch a new multi-media sensation. He will mention the cartoon, maybe because it had Dan Castellaneta voice Jim and someone at Screenwave will force a Simpsons joke in there. The cartoon was okay. I remember it from back in the day. It's probably one of the better game to cartoon adaptations. Edit: he'll fuck up the history behind the making of the game where he'll completely fail to mention that TenNapel and his guys worked on the Terminator game for Genesis and Sega CD and that engine was re-used for Aladdin on the Genesis, Cool Spot, and then finally re-used again and again for EWJ 1 and 2.

2: no mention of TenNapel controversy or maybe Screenwave will force in some kind of joke at his expense and compare him negatively to J.K. Rowling especially since Big Ryan would have a vested interest in dying on such a hill.

3: when he mentions the sequels there will be no mention of Thomas Tallarico's fraudulent Amico disaster and how they teased an Earthworm Jim 4 that never entered development. I know this will go without mention because James met Tallarico and will probably ignore the whole thing to prevent burning a bridge. Furthermore, there will be no mention of Tallarico not even doing the music of the 2 original EWJ games that he so claims.

4: I think he might go over the differences between the SNES and Genesis versions. Big difference is the sound is better on Genesis and the Genesis has an awesome secret level exclusive to it. Maybe a mention of the Sega CD version and the further differences there but I doubt it. No mention of the HD remake outsourced to China as well.

5: they won't show much of the secrets or the game's quirks like if you preserve your pistol ammo and get the cannon powerup you can one shot some really annoying enemies like the lawyers in What The Heck? The Snowman mini-boss can be one-shotted in What the Heck? And those giant muscle cats (no homo) in Down the Tubes can also be one-shotted even though you don't have to but it's fun.

6: Down the Tubes. He's either going to stop here or make no mention of Mike playing through the rest because the devs admitted that they designed this level to gatekeep so kids couldn't beat the game in a weekend on a rental (while this kid right here did). Down the Tubes is a very intense level that even when I beat it yearly I still get a little tense. I think he'll fuck up a joke about how your nerves are on end during this part of the game.

7: James will fuck up mentioning how if you do well in the Andy Asteroids mini-levels you get a continue. That's the only way to get a continue. The first 2-3 are pretty easy to get once you figure out how to play but they get harder and harder (no homo, again).

8: assuming the review doesn't stop at Down the Tubes he'll probably overlook the coolest level Snot a Problem where you bungie jump a boss to the death. 90's as fuck but so fucking cool.

9: I'm going to assume For Pete's Sake will be the level that will "break" the AVGN character. He'll throw a shit fit over how hard the level is. If not For Pete's Sake then definitely Down the Tubes.

10: assuming the review doesn't get cut off he'll get to the final boss, Queenslugforabutt, no mention of the notorious jump you need to make and use your whip or you just fucking die. And it will just end with no gravitas and no realization that you can whip the boss in the first phase to save ammo and do big damage.

11: EWJ 2 the "it's good but not as good as the first one" sequel. Think: Predator 2 or Robocop 2 for vidya sequels. Some people do like this one more and it is more lenient with the difficulty by giving you passwords and infinite continues. But it changes everything.

I think James/Screenwave will fail to mention Snot. Who is Snot? He is supposed to be Jim's 2nd sidekick. He already had a sidekick (Peter Puppy who is featured prominently for the cartoon) but Playmates wanted another sidekick to sell toys. Snot's gimmick is replacing what the whip did in the first game but behaves exactly the same EXCEPT he doesn't deal damage. Making him worthless for play beyond the first level or maybe another level where you can hold jump as you fall to parachute with him (this ability is useful maybe once). It could be a funny tangent about Snot just being added to sell toys but I think James will fuck this up.

12: I'm going to make a prediction that James will like this one more because it's a bit easier than the first. And the even more OTT cartoon aesthetics will appeal to his autism.

13: I think he'll fuck up mentioning Puppy Love levels. Everyone hates these levels because they're so tedious to play and really bog down the whole game because you play them every. Single. Time. You complete a level. James won't mention this at all which could be a source of good comedy. Since it would make for good comedy he'll fuck it up.

14: I could see the level Lorenzo's Soil triggering his anxiety or some shit. Screenwave might force in a time joke at James' expense.

15: James (in character) will make a big deal about the Cave Salamander level and the trivia part. There will be a cancer sketch based on the trivia part of the level that will go on for a tediously unfunny amount of time.

16: James will go "Overall, great games but here comes the shit!" EWJ 3D. I mention he will fuck this up because he'll fuck up setting up how this game killed the IP.

17: the Game Boy Color game might get referenced but only very briefly. It's also not a good game.

18: EWJ 3D AKA Earthworm Jim 64. He will rush through this because it's a fairly long game for a collectathon platformer. It's also played very linearly unlike Mario 64. The gameplay is bland and there's a shitty camera but there's a lot to talk about regarding the production fuck ups and company changeover's. I don't think he'll go into any detail. James will say "Production was fucked up!" And that'll be it. He'll ignore that on the back of the N64 box there's a screenshot of Jim riding his Pocket Rocket (no homo!) that was completely scrapped from the game but still used to sell it.

EWJ 3D is kind of based in that it's set entirely in Jim's mind during a coma and the final boss is the female version of Jim named Earthworm Kim. The final boss is literally fighting your gay/closeted/trans self and I am not making this up!


THIS WILL GO WITHOUT ANY MENTION WHATSOEVER ESPECIALLY WITH BIG TRANNY RYAN AROUND!

Edit: BONUS FUCKUP!

19: I just remembered this. There's a mechanic in EWJ 1 where when you're falling and you quickly tap the jump button then Jim will mimic a helicopter with his head and this will slow your descent. You don't really need to use this mechanic except maybe once or twice to get some ammo or health or get to a secret. However. you absolutely positively need to use this mechanic in one part of the final level of Buttville where you drop down and have to navigate around thorns. I guarantee that James will fuck this up. EWJ 2 has a level similar to this but it's easier and quirkier where Jim is suddenly a cave salamander.

And that'll be the review. It'll end very weakly and probably have James make fart noises that amuses only himself.

Yes, EWJ is one of my favorite games. It's in my top 10 of all time and I try to beat it yearly. EWJ 2 is fine. It's a good game but the mini-game levels called Puppy Love are horribly over-long and annoying. Luckily there's a level skip code and I only use it on those levels. Some people don't like the top down level either but it's short and tolerable for me. I'm still pissed that EWJ 3D killed the franchise.

(rates self autistic)
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The sonofabitch dropped his little video so I will publicly suck myself off and see how good were my predictions. Out of 19 predictions I got 6 wrong... I bolded those and I think that's kind of sad that the show is so autopilot that I got that much correct.
 
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AfroMegan said:
I won't watch it. Did the "guy who made that big post about how would they fuck up the EWJ3 review" were right in their predictions?
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He got 13/18 right, I had more fun reading Bruno's post than watching the episode.

Also, not to be a dick, but Jesus H Christ man, his hair just looks ridiculous. Why not get hair plugs and get on meds? It's obvious that it bothers him since he is always wearing hats indoors.

Or just give the character a hat, he already changed the old shirt for that awful one, anything is better than the post death Alex Murphy look imo
 
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