- Joined
- Jun 17, 2021
Introduction
James Cage White is a 36 year old Chinese man most well known for speaking in broken English. Yes, that is the only reason he has a following. James first became popular on Vine in 2014 for making quirky videos about his otherwise normal life while saying "very cool" and "swag". This gimmick was apparently funny enough for over 440,000 people to follow him back when the platform was still functional.Now, if that's all there was to James, he wouldn't be deserving of a thread. But in recent years he's gotten a new following on Twitter for oversharing his frustrations with life, which alongside his increasingly more eccentric behavior deserves attention.
Personal life
While not much is known about his childhood, James has mentioned that his mother was physically abusive towards him while growing up. In fact, this strict form of discipline has seemingly continued even as he entered adulthood.
Despite being nearly forty years old, James is dependent on his mother to the point of requiring her to find jobs as well as potential partners for him (both of these will be elaborated on later). Everything he does seems to have some supervision by his mother, down to doctor appointments. Bear in mind, she is simultaneously taking care of James' father who is actively dying due to medical complications. Just like how he refuses to take responsibility for himself, James credits much of what goes on his life to "fate". This goes from his ill-fated romantic pursuits to internet popularity. He calls on fate so often that its become an inside joke among his followers.
Love quest
For years, James has been desperately trying to get a girlfriend in order to reproduce. It seems that a large part of this is because his mother constantly pressures him too, even stating that her minimum requirement for him was to have kids. Reaching his late thirties, James started to become desperate and began tweeting constantly about his love quest. Then, he had an idea. Having a sizable western audience due to social media, he came up with the genius idea of applying for a visitor Visa in hopes of courting a beautiful white girl to bring home and make his parents proud. Unfortunately, his application was denied on May 16th, 2019 as his Visa officer correctly realized that he likely wouldn't return.
This cycle continued for years until surprisingly things changed in April of 2021, when James publicly announced that he had finally found a girlfriend. People had their doubts, until he posted photos proving that she did, infact, exist. This was actually seen as worth celebration on Twitter due to his reputation as a virgin, with his announcement getting over 100,000 likes. Before long, the couple could be seen traveling around Asia, with her even fulfilling his maternal needs by paying for his XBox game pass.
But... things weren't as they seemed. Less than three months after they began dating, James then announced that he'd proposed to her and the two were in the process of getting married. As it turns out, he'd met her as part of an arranged marriage program his mother had signed him up for, And this wasn't his first attempt at the service either, tweeting previously that he'd spent over a thousand dollars on another marriage arrangement company to try dating eighteen different girls, all of whom rejected him.
Of course, love works in mysterious ways, and it could be fate... whatever. At least James is going to have a happy ending... right? Well, not exactly. Because this all leads us to actually I decided to make this thread now.
Unemployment
In 2017, James began working at an Office Job that (surprise surprise) his mother also found for him. He claimed to earn a monthly salary of $600 a month at the time, approximately $7,000 a year. Surprisingly, he was able to keep it for four years until he was laid off just this April. While the company claimed to simply not need him anymore, it's also worth pointing out that he filled his work computer with personal files and publicly showed himself playing games like Dwarf Fortress while on the clock. He also at one point made a makeshift bed so he could sleep there, so honestly it's a miracle he held the job for so long to begin with.I'm genuinely not entirely sure what he did in the first place. Regardless, James had prepared for this moment, and had expected long-term to earn his living online. How, you may ask? Selling t-shirts with his face and grade-school level art he made on it, as well as creating shovelware video games. It's difficult to find examples of the former (for reasons we'll get into), but by far the most notable is his nightmare fuel dating-sim "James White Simulator", which features real-life photographs of his mother at her request.
It turns out that James was banned after getting backlash for a series of tweets in which, while hypothesizing about him and his new arranged wife's child, proclaimed that he would beat his children if they came out as gay. When confronted, he doubled down on the opinion by justifying it with his own abuse.
James (or at least his mother) have since struggled to find new job opportunities, and it seems over time he's slowly only lost avenues for him to earn money online. In fact, the only way he's made any recently is from investing in stocks.
Why is this all important? Well, a person with no job prospects, future or marketable skills isn't exactly a promising partner. James is actively lying to his wife about being employed, and has publicly admitted that if she discovered the truth his marriage would be destroyed.
There is no doubt in my mind that this relationship is going to end in flames, and for that alone I wanted to introduce him so more people could watch this as it transpired. There is far more to him than I've even covered here. All of this was found pretty easily and I only started following him recently. I also will need a lot of help with archive links, so any would be appreciated.
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