Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[True Boss of this Gym]

Dotabros we can't stop winning.

 

[my penis is on fire]

Updates on Mald's Marvelous Mustelid Mausoleum
Due to the ferrets taking up a huge chunk of the Pirate Software Wiki, the ferret pages have all been migrated to their own wiki 🄰.
Three new ferrets have joined the fray: Jack, Bagel, and Peanut 2, bringing the total population up to 59. Jack is another emergency intake, similar to Kitty. He was introduced during the The Witness stream we were talking about earlier.

In the introduction of Bagel and Peanut 2, we see two new volunteers. Good to see, since hopefully it means the living conditions of the ferrets can improve with more total people supervising them.

No updates on the new location that I know of.
Lastly, since some of you asked, here's my spreadsheet in CSV format:

Spoiler: CSV

Name,S,Status,Group,Source,Acquired,Death,Notes
(Unknown),M,Dead,Valhalla,Emergency Intake,10/20/24,10/20/24,Cause: Unknown. Came to the rescue already on death's door. Died before he could get a name or be integrated with the other ferrets.
Badger,M,Healthy,BePeepo,Abandoned Pet,2/26/24,,"Badger, Moose, Peepo, Pepper, Salt were found together by the Humane Society."
Bagel,F,Healthy,B&P,Unknown Group,3/9/25,,Intro video shows 2 new volunteers.
Banana,F,Healthy,Oldies,Owner Surrender,7/7/23,,
Bandit,M,Dead,Valhalla,Unknown,1/5/24,4/5/24,Cause: Old age
Beans,M,Sick/Injured,Gen. Pop. ,Pet Store,4/1/22,,Swallowed a piece of a blanket and needed surgery to get it removed. Has a marketable plushie.
Beef,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Pet Store,7/2/21,,
Bruce,M,Healthy,Oldies,Unknown,8/7/24,,First documented on 8/7/24 by Wiki. Never once mentioned by Discord or Shaye's twitter.
Cashew,M,Sick/Injured,Gen. Pop.,Pet Store,8/3/24,,"Waardenburg syndrome, deaf."
Cheese,F,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Pet Store,7/2/21,,
Chili,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Unknown Group,1/11/24,,
Cowboy,M,Sick/Injured,Oldies,Rescue Surrender,8/25/24,,"Prostate cyst, Kidney cyst, Adrenal Carcinoma on the right side, and a Spleen tumor/nodule. Also old."
Demeter,F,Sick/Injured,Gen. Pop.,Unknown Group,6/16/24,,Needed surgery in December due to swallowed object blocking up digestive system.
Eddie,M,Sick/Injured,Oldies,Owner Surrender,8/18/23,,"Dental decay, stomach ulcers (2/13/25)"
Felix,M,Dead,Valhalla,Unknown Group,5/23/24,9/17/24,Cause: Cooked himself to death.
Fig,M,Sick/Injured,Oldies,Unknown Group,1/11/24,,Hypertrophic heart disease diagnosed in November.
Finn,M,Healthy,Solo,Unknown Group,5/23/24,,"Nearly died, being in the same cage as Felix when he cooked himself to death."
Ghost,F,Healthy,Solo (Office),Owner Surrender,5/6/23,,Extremely aggressive to the point where multiple integration attempts have failed.
Hazelnut,F,Sick/Injured,Gen. Pop.,Pet Store,8/3/24,,"Waardenburg syndrome, deaf."
Henry,M,Sick/Injured,Solo (Office),Emergency Intake,3/1/24,,Ferret with poor motor control due to heavy brain damage. Requires near constant maintenance.
Jack,M,Sick/Injured,Solo,Emergency Intake,2/23/25,,"Old, emergency intake. Same rescue as Kitty. Blood sugar crash"
Jinx,F,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Unknown,3/1/24,,
Kahlua,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Owner Surrender,2/23/24,,
Kitty,F,Sick/Injured,Oldies,Emergency Intake,12/19/24,,"Old, recently diagnosed with lymphoma. Undergoing chemo."
Kyo,F,Healthy,Kyo & Sai,Unknown Group,6/5/24,,
Latte,M,Sick/Injured,Gen. Pop.,Owner Surrender,12/1/23,,"Diagnosed with DIM, but seems to be recovering well."
Loki,F,Healthy,Oldies,Lab Animal,7/31/19,,Was a lab animal from University of Washington.
Louise,F,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Unknown Group,5/23/24,,>from California where ferrets are outlawed
Lucky,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Unknown,7/7/23,,
Luna,F,Healthy,Oldies,Owner Surrender,9/15/24,,
Mai Tai,F,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Owner Surrender,2/23/24,,
Max,M,Dead,Valhalla,Owner Surrender,9/12/23,12/26/23,"Cause: Old age, was 10 years old at the time of passing."
Mimosa,F,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Owner Surrender,2/23/24,,
Mishka,F,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Owner Surrender,4/28/24,,
Mistoffelees,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Unknown Group,6/16/24,,
Mocha,M,Sick/Injured,Oldies,Emergency Intake,11/3/23,,"Diagnosed with DIM, but seems to be recovering well."
Moose,M,Healthy,PMS,Abandoned Pet,2/26/24,,
Mouse,F,Sick/Injured,Gen. Pop.,Owner Surrender,4/28/23,,"Waardenburg syndrome, deaf."
Moxie,F,Healthy,Oldies,Unknown,1/5/24,,
Nacho,M,Healthy,VONS,Unknown Group,4/17/24,,
Odin,M,Sick/Injured,Oldies,Owner Surrender,9/15/24,,Deaf.
Onion,F,Healthy,VONS,Abandoned Pet,11/2/22,,
Peanut,F,Sick/Injured,Gen. Pop.,Pet Store,8/3/24,,"Waardenburg syndrome, deaf."
Peanut 2,F,Healthy,B&P,Unknown Group,3/9/25,,
Peepo,F,Sick/Injured,BePeepo,Abandoned Pet,2/26/24,,Needed surgery to remove a tumor on her tail.
Pepper,F,Sick/Injured,PMS,Abandoned Pet,2/26/24,,"Waardenburg syndrome, deaf."
Pepper 2,M,Healthy,PS3,Unknown Group,10/20/24,,"Whether the number is ""2.0"" or ""2"" is inconsistent. "
Pickle,M,Sick/Injured,Gen. Pop.,Unknown,8/7/23,,"Heart murmur. Possibly developed after coming to the rescue. Also Waardenburg syndrome, deaf. Recently had worm surgery."
Rose,F,Dead,Valhalla,Unknown,1/7/24,1/14/24,Cause: Cardiac arrest after liver poisoning due to eating macadamia nut shell
Rusty,M,Healthy,Oldies,Owner Surrender,6/6/24,,
Sai,F,Healthy,Kyo & Sai,Unknown Group,6/5/24,,
Salsa,F,Healthy,VONS,Unknown Group,4/17/24,,
Salt,F,Healthy,PMS,Abandoned Pet,2/26/24,,
Salt 2,M,Healthy,PS3,Unknown Group,10/20/24,,
Scotch,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Owner Surrender,2/23/24,,
Skye,F,Dead,Valhalla,Unknown Group,10/20/24,2/7/25,Cause: Acute limb ichemia
Snails,F,Dead,Valhalla,Lab Animal,7/31/19,4/22/23,Cause of death: Heart condition. Was a lab animal. The Rescue is named after her.
Snowball,M,Healthy,PS3,Unknown Group,10/20/24,,Albino.
Spud,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Unknown,8/7/24,,First documented on 8/7/24 by Wiki. Never once mentioned by Discord or Shaye's twitter.
Teep,F,Healthy,Oldies,Unknown,4/26/24,,First documented on 4/26/24 by Shaye.
Thelma,F,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Unknown Group,5/23/24,,
Toby,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Unknown,10/16/24,,
Torch,M,Sick/Injured,Solo,Owner Surrender,8/25/24,,"Waardenburg syndrome, deaf. Very photogenic. ""Tried to take down a newborn baby goat once like an apex predator."" "
Tortilla,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Owner Surrender,4/1/23,,
Vincent,M,Sick/Injured,VONS,Emergency Intake,11/19/23,,"Missing an ear, Waardenburg syndrome, deaf."
Whiskey,M,Healthy,Gen. Pop.,Owner Surrender,2/23/24,,
Zero,M,Dead,Valhalla,Owner Surrender,6/7/23,7/2/24,"Cause: Tumors, adrenal cancer and insulinoma."

 

[Retarded Fat Autist]

Mother fucking ferret charnel house

 

[SlyVMan]

Bro really can't learn to shut up (Archive) can he?



Obligatory Discord whining

 

[Frightened Rabbit]

Obligatory Discord whining

Ho, so that's how he funds his ferret fucker activities, looks like you don't even need tits these days.
Very inclusive!

 

[Marche]

Bro really can't learn to shut up (Archive) can he?

View attachment 7101384

Obligatory Discord whining
View attachment 7101389View attachment 7101388
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He had to post his tweet in his discord calling for backup.

Insane behaviour

 

[Aidan]

These people have a very unhealthy parasocial relationship going on.

I doubt there was any awareness in how this is a bit contradictory.

Coming from a guy who is quick to threaten legal action over being made fun of in a shitposty indie game. When he's mean to someone else and tries to directly fuck them over it's ok but when he's clipped and made fun of for his own words and actions it's not ok.
Mald recognizes this too which is why he does what he can to mitigate clips of his bullshit.

 

[potato sack]

hes such a complete soyboy

i cannot think of content creators i follow that would respond to every piece of bait or criticism under the earth WHILE their channel is sinking

like bro the indie game he filed a dmca had like six other people being made fun of, including dr disrespect being made fun of for being a chomo. no one else responded

 

[Lvkester Endorser]

Bro really can't learn to shut up (Archive) can he?

View attachment 7101384

Obligatory Discord whining
View attachment 7101389View attachment 7101388
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Idk what snydere's problem is but I admire his grudge-holding levels and pettiness alone.

Random thought, but considering how dumb Mald is, and how he just HAS to take the bait every time he sees it, one could build a jewtuber career by simply baiting and roasting him, and benefitting from the spotlight Mald will, inevitably, shine on you.

I mean if anyone is into that shit.

 

[potato sack]

Random thought, but considering how dumb Mald is, and how he just HAS to take the bait every time he sees it, one could build a jewtuber career by simply baiting and roasting him, and benefitting from the spotlight Mald will, inevitably, shine on you.

I mean if anyone is into that shit.

there's a lot of leeches doing that already on youtube

 

[Roachbound]

As a guy who has played dota for over a decade, watched synderen since the second international world championship he played at and occasionally listens to his podcast, I must say that synderen's problem is that he is a man of integrity who will not stand for piratesoftware's lies.

 

[R E T A R D E D]

Idk what snydere's problem is but I admire his grudge-holding levels and pettiness alone.

Random thought, but considering how dumb Mald is, and how he just HAS to take the bait every time he sees it, one could build a jewtuber career by simply baiting and roasting him, and benefitting from the spotlight Mald will, inevitably, shine on you.

I mean if anyone is into that shit.

I mean he was part of Onlyfangs & somewhat around for when all the original Managem drama started. So not a massive surprise. Personally, it gets reacts and it can rile a few people up. He knows exactly what his doing and SyndereN bas played his cards well here.

I still can't believe his still crying about 2-3 people "review-bombing" the game. People had decent reasons to dislike the game in its current state, but no. It's Muh "Review-Bomb". Also, the next time some sperg says - "fight back" against internet drama. Show them this screenshot.

Just shut the fuck up, apologise & move on. The man just makes a lulcow out of himself everytime its quite incredible.

 

[el gordo]

Bro really can't learn to shut up (Archive) can he?

View attachment 7101384

reminder:
he edited 'blind playthough' out of the title
and during the playthough he said 'we dont look up answers'

 

[bman]

I watched Thor playing Hunting Horn in Monster Hunter wilds... And he's so shockingly fucking dog shit at it, how the fuck people blindly follow his mobalytics guide.

This is Blizzards top dog developer, the king of MMOs and clan wars. Hiding behind a wall to get a song combo off doing 0 damage.

Viewer: Why don't you use resounding melody?
Pirate: Because I only need to extend my current melodies
Then some other viewer: don't always compare yourself to Thor he's like reallllly good at this game

And he's narrating this WHOLE time, explaining why he's doing what he's doing like it's some goated amazing playstyle. Homie, it's Monster HUNTER, you should be hitting shit at the same time. At least he's learned how to heal his team in a game for once...

 

[Gravemind]

Hiding behind a wall to get a song combo off doing 0 damage.

What else is he supposed to do, dude? He's playing a buffer weapon role. He's buffing.
Do you really expect him to be up there, smacking the monster ineffectively and contributing very little because he's a buffer? Insane behavior. Dogshit attitude to have, dude. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

If you don't like it, you can get the hell out of his stream. As a matter of fact, mods? Ban that guy.
*Stretches* Yeeeeah. Yeah. Learn how the game works before you talk, dude. Ridiculous.

On a less shitposty note, this reminds me that I sometimes keep a friend who doesn't use this site up to date on any particular Mald happenings of note that get posted here, and he was so assblasted at learning through osmosis about how passively retarded Mald plays Hunting Horn that he decided to take the plunge on buying Wilds for himself and maining Hunting Horn in order to prove that, yes, it can, in fact, be used as an offensive, "weaker" hammer and that it is, in fact, best used in this manner rather than roaching like Mald's doing here.

By his measure, he's been saying that Hunting Horn feels like the best it's ever been and that he's able to be even more offensive-based than he was before.

 

[Roachbound]

I watched Thor playing Hunting Horn in Monster Hunter wilds... And he's so shockingly fucking dog shit at it, how the fuck people blindly follow his mobalytics guide.
View attachment 7102281

This is Blizzards top dog developer, the king of MMOs and clan wars. Hiding behind a wall to get a song combo off doing 0 damage.


And he's narrating this WHOLE time, explaining why he's doing what he's doing like it's some goated amazing playstyle. Homie, it's Monster HUNTER, you should be hitting shit at the same time. At least he's learned how to heal his team in a game for once...

Was he always this insecure playing games?

 

[bman]

What else is he supposed to do, dude? He's playing a buffer weapon role. He's buffing.
Do you really expect him to be up there, smacking the monster ineffectively and contributing very little because he's a buffer? Insane behavior. Dogshit attitude to have, dude. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

If you don't like it, you can get the hell out of his stream. As a matter of fact, mods? Ban that guy.
*Stretches* Yeeeeah. Yeah. Learn how the game works before you talk, dude. Ridiculous.

On a less shitposty note, this reminds me that I sometimes keep a friend who doesn't use this site up to date on any particular Mald happenings of note that get posted here, and he was so assblasted at learning through osmosis about how passively retarded Mald plays Hunting Horn that he decided to take the plunge on buying Wilds for himself and maining Hunting Horn in order to prove that, yes, it can, in fact, be used as an offensive, "weaker" hammer and that it is, in fact, best used in this manner rather than roaching like Mald's doing here.

By his measure, he's been saying that Hunting Horn feels like the best it's ever been and that he's able to be even more offensive-based than he was before.

Trying to not get triggered over your obvious sarcasm in the first half because I could hear it in his voice...

But yea, he's a moron, it is just a weaker hammer which buffs the team. The obvious tell is that if you do what he's doing in the screenshot next to a monster it hurts them and you're supposed to do that to get swings on the head to knock the monster out usually with Slugger.

Mans dog shit at video games

 

[The Stranger]

Was he always this insecure playing games?

This video posted a while ago goes into the psychology behind Maldy's actions and says it basically all boils down to massive insecurity so yes, he's probably been deeply insecure for years. Probably ever since he discovered he wants to fuck ferrets.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/jason-...wich-witness-x-potatosec.197757/post-20721249

 

[GeldKampf]

There were some more Blockgame updates I felt I should make fun of.

Chest Shops have been removed.
/weather command has been removed from ranks.

Removing chest shops is so retarded, especially if you want to do an MMO in Minecraft. That's like one of the quintessential features, even more so if you're going to have social interaction and town building with a plugin like Towny. His excuse in an earlier patch is that it takes up too much processing power but I doubt it because far larger servers use this plugin without issue IIRC.

Obsidian no longer drops a block when mined.
Crying Obsidian no longer drops a block when mined.
Portals are rare and powerful things.
Both resources can be found through other means.

Aside from the Reddit-tier lingo in the changelog, this seems unnecessary. I don't know what Obsidian is used for in Blockgame, but what happens if you accidentally place it down? Guess you just can't get it back anymore.

Fishing rods break after updated through admin changes.
Put in a ticket if your rod breaks. Screenshot the rod before using it to ensure quick ticket times.

Lava source blocks become obsidian when hit with water.
This will be updated to Cobblestone.

How the fuck did Mald once again manage to break key features of the game? How do you break fishing rods?? And also lol @ "Screenshot the rod before using it to ensure quick ticket times" as if more than 25 people play his server consistently.

Then we get to the real lulz:

This seems too elaborate to be Mald lying but I have a feeling we're not getting the full picture here. Again, his server is so small, who the fuck would even bother going through all that trouble? I also doubt Mald could find out whether or not the IPs were from VPNs, so it's more than likely some guy duping for his friend and not this elaborate scheme.

​

Spoiler: Raw text

Thor — 3/14/2025 12:25 PM​

@Blockgamer Hello! Today we identified an exploit that was being used to duplicate Platinum Coins. The user was doing packet manipulation, abusing an NPC, and using the /condense command to pull this off. They amassed a large amount of Platinum across multiple accounts as a result of this. This has now been fixed. Now for the interesting part. The primary account of this user was NaNiedzwiedziu and they tried to hide this by using the exploit on another account called 22gr Both of these accounts connected via a VPN from separate IPs so they could not be connected this way. They were however trading with one another and both used the exploit as found in our logs. Everything you ever do on the server is logged, don't forget that. Outcome: The exploit has been fixed. All accounts that engaged in the exploit have been banned. All currency related to this exploit has been removed.

Also, free content hack, go to #answered-tts, find something that sounds retarded, click on the link to the clip, download it and upload it (after encoding) here if it's gemmy

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

Amazing that some rando shit talking him in DotA 2 of all things gets him so riled up.
Its an easy source of milk as long as someone with a mild follower count says something about him.
He'll get mad and HAVE to respond. Instead of just not caring. It reminds me of Chris chan early on when someone said he was gay or something else he'd freak out and deny it in video format.