Jew Types

[FudgeFish]

You've probably heard of Jews, but did you know that there are different types of Jew? Let's share what kind you've encountered or heard about.

I'll start;

Smelly Jews

 

[Halt and Catch Fire]

cheap jews

 

[Carlos Thin]

Mystery Jews

 

[FudgeFish]

Little Jews

 

[Soup Sammiches]

Lampshade Jews.

 

[Named User]

Orange Jews

 

[Jason Wynn]

Burnt Jews

 

[Radola Gajda]

Oven dodgers

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

most of the jews I've known IRL were like "dang, I wish they'd let me on the international jew conspiracy, I'm just fucking around doing shit work at a store"
is that a specific jew?

 

[Troon_Patrol]

I wish there was a phrase for the jewish girls who are quiet and unassuming but, complete freaks behind closed doors.

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

I wish there was a phrase for the jewish girls who are quiet and unassuming but, complete freaks behind closed doors.

there is
"jewish girls"

 

[gobble gobble squawk]

Non comedy option is the ROSH spectrum for the main sub species, they can be further divided and classified but it gets tedious and semantic.
R-reform: tikkun olam, jew flavored libtard self righteousness.
O-opportunist: i smell shekels, gibs me your liver, you obviously aint using it...anymore.
S-supremacist: Ultra orthodox, though could argue that "chosen-ism" is just as prevalent as a cultural/social artifact in secular jewish communities.
H-humanist: Militantly atheistic (philosophical rejection of god, their own chosen-ness or one of the antinomian schools of thought/cults sabbateanism etc) Loves revolution, hates rules. Especially goyim rules.

Oddly enough it was a jew who explained these to me, no one ever accused him of anti semitism but i can never get past O before the gasps and shrieks start.

 

[Carlos Thin]

most of the jews I've known IRL were like "dang, I wish they'd let me on the international jew conspiracy, I'm just fucking around doing shit work at a store"
is that a specific jew?

Yes, they’re called “goyim”

 

[Anonitolia]

fake jews

 

[arabianprince]

I once heard a classification of jews i thought was interesting. Obviously the day to day shopkeepers or whatever aren't part of either of these groups but when people think da jooz it's usually one of two groups: War jews and Sodomy jews. I think that schizo owen benjamin came up with it. Ben shapiro is a war jew for example and most of hollywood are sodomy jews.

 

[FudgeFish]

Space Jews

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Biker Jews from Mars

 

[Tequila Jong]

Smelly Jew
Smelly Jew
What are they feeding you
Smelly Jew
Smelly Jew
9/11 is all your fault

 

[WolfeTone]

Rare Deepwater Jews

Mountain Jews

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

Black hebrews (the only authentic jews)