Four years ago
A video was made
Of my Facebook wall
They filmed themselves scrolling down it
And reading the timestamps aloud – I quote…
23 hours ago…
23 hours ago…
23 hours ago…
23 hours ago…
And the list goes on.
This has been… NO LIFE.
Four years ago
I pretended not to be bothered
When I saw that video
I forced myself to smile
And laugh along with them
As they tore me to pieces in the comments
Only for them to point out
That they knew I was faking it
That as much as I didn’t like to admit it
I really was upset
Four years ago
The only person who stood up for me
Was quickly shut down
And after her one courageous comment
She couldn’t face the Laughing Mob any longer
Four years ago
There were others who could have helped me
There were others who could have told the posters
Just how wrong they were
Just how despicable
And creepy
And gross
And fucked up they were
But nobody spoke up
I watched in horror
As the ones who I thought were my friends
Joined in laughing at me
Shut down all my feeble attempts
To defend myself
Told the people laughing at me
That they were right
Then told me that I was wrong
Four years ago
Before the video was posted
I was harassed by my ex
Via personal message so I
Blocked him, as anyone would do
But that didn’t stop him
He paid one of my friends
To post that video
And narrate it
He borrowed my friend’s account
To harass me more
Because I loved that friend too much
I did nothing
I could only watch,
Just as I did in anger and disbelief
As someone else
Called me “childish” for blocking him
Without knowing shit about why
Four years later
I asked my friend why he posted it
I asked my friend why he let my ex
Treat me like shit,
Why he never stood up for me
His reason was
“Because he was my friend too”
Four years later
I felt slapped in the face
Because “friendship”
Is a reason
To throw other friends
To the wolves of ridicule
Because “friendship”
Is why you joined them
In tearing me to pieces
You had no problem doing it
Because your friends were, too
It must have been easy for you to hurt me
When you couldn’t see my wounds
And it didn’t hurt you any
To know they were bleeding
As long as you didn’t have
To wash it off your hands
Four years later
I still shake
In anger
And hurt
At the memory of it
Four years later
I have still not received justice
Because I know
That this kind of thing still happens
On and off the internet
Children
Are attacked in packs
And no one
Says anything
Not their friends
Not bystanders
Not them
Four years ago
If the people who attacked me
Were shut down quickly
By people who could see
That what they did was wrong
I would have been happy
I would have felt safe
I wouldn’t have to stay up late watching happy TV
To keep that fake smile on my face
Pretending everything was okay
When it wasn’t
Four years later
You are reading this
And now that you know my story
I want you to promise me
That if you ever see people
Saying hurtful things about other people
On the Internet or in real life
You’ll do something about it
You won’t tolerate it
You’ll tell the people talking badly about them
That what they’re doing is wrong
You’ll tell them to fuck off
Tell them to shut up
Tell them to stop
And if you feel like you can’t,
Tell someone who can
Maybe a teacher
Or a tougher friend
Four years ago
This hurt me too much
For me let this happen
Four years later
To other people too
So now it’s up to you
To make sure that it doesn’t
Because only then
Will I receive justice.