Job Hunting Tips and Tricks. - Or how to not get stuck as a retail wagie

[grump]

Most of the specific advice you hear which includes most of the advice on this thread will be contradicted by other specific advice if you ask around long enough. The more specific it is the more likely it will be contradicted.

Your resume will be torn down and built up by some self claimed expert only to be poo pooed and torn down and built in a completely different way by another so called expert. And none of them are wrong or right. Companies and hiring managers are as different as any other people and what works with one will not work with the other. Company A will prefer one thing and Company B will prefer the complete opposite.

So tips that you should lie or be honest in your interview. Painstakingly tailor applications or submit tons of them. Include a cover letter or don't are essentially coinflips.

The only truly universal job advice is basic common sense and a handful of general statistical facts. Don't sound like an asshole or complete moron in your resume. Be presentable in your interview. Avoid extremes. Pick whatever you feel like, when it comes to quantity or quality of applications. Just don't cut so many corners your tons of applications look like complete trash or spend 1 year applying for a single job. Networks are powerful.

AI flimflamery will irrevocably change many things about jobs whether we like it or not and the application process is one of them. Cranking out an AI generated resume in a few minutes generally beats a week of pointlessly handcrafting one. Even if its no more 'beautiful' than a handwritten resume which it often is its just going to go in the same arbitrary ATS system with thousands of other AI generated resumes judged by inscrutable and arbitrary AI systems to most likely be sent into the garbage can without a single human eye ever having read it for little to no reason. So might as well save the time. Yes in a way you are a fraud by subverting the application process and not showing your 'true' self but so are your fellow applicants and the employer you are trying to impress. Just be sure you double check and understand what you generate. Wouldn't want to be called up on the spot for a hallucinated reference or skills you don't actually have.

 

[Lovely Kin]

This may suck to hear for most of us in here, but network. Network as much as you can. On business trips, on company trips, when you meet business partners to your company. Keep in touch with college friends. With work friends. It sucks. It’s so awful. But that is how now I have at least a few options outside of the hellhole that is LinkedIn and don’t have to get my data sold to pajeets by job websites.

This helps a lot for private sector, I'm trying to see if it's the same for public sector jobs like mine.

There are literally not enough good jobs to go around and h1b jeets are occupying a concerning number of those. A good degree is a prerequisite to work in many fields. It is not a divine mandate entitling you to a job in the field. Sending half the population to college is resulting in credential bloat and a population best compared to Douglas Adams' Golgafrinchans. The world simply does not need an army of therapists, marketers, business majors, and environmental scientists.

The most frustrating thing is when I see some of these jobs that require degrees, they wouldn't even need them. Even a dropout from high school could do some of those jobs, it's all simple copying and pasting, or just social networking. Degrees are treated like high school diplomas

 

[Negev]

Aside, I started leafing through the Bureau of Labor Statistics data and I've decided it's fucking nonsense. No way is the median marketing manager making >$150k/year with openings in the field growing at ~7%/year. It also thinks the median high school teacher gets $62k/year. For context, the median personal income in the US is ~42k/year. If school teachers are getting 60k, this implies that something like half the population is working truly utter shit jobs that are part time or pay really fucking badly. If that's true, the US economy would have to be verging on economic collapse for these numbers to make any sense.

I think thats because they list jobs claiming you can make 40k all the way to 150k to make it seem like you can work your way up when you never get past 40 or maybe 50k a year

The most frustrating thing is when I see some of these jobs that require degrees, they wouldn't even need them. Even a dropout from high school could do some of those jobs, it's all simple copying and pasting, or just social networking. Degrees are treated like high school diplomas

You mean you don't need a masters to do basic math and fill out paperwork? It also sucks because they used to train people for a job too so even without a degree you could eventually move up and learn more but now they expect you to already know everything and still pay you garbage.

 

[James Brown]

Hmn, makes sense. Half my resume is related to work I did for my grad school stuff. What's the most believable lie? Larping as a freelancer?

I'd change my title to something not directly linked to being a student. Not asking you to PL, but it's kind of hard without specifics - was there a staff/clerk position related to your role that the public or an alum could be hired for? If there was, you can leverage that. If they ask why you worked for a uni. program post-graduation (they likely wont), just say that at the time your undergrad studies had a big impact on you and you wanted to work at a university to help them expand research/give that opportunity to more students/whatever. This can even be helpful if the business deals with public projects or grants, or if it's a gov/non-profit job.

Freelancing is iffy unless you have solid skills provable in the interview, or many professional connections and a portfolio.

 

[Meat Target]

If the company you're applying to doesn't say what their product or service is in plain English, it's most likely an MLM.

Watch out for things such as:

• first interviews are just group sales pitches
• Referring to it as an "opportunity" instead of a job
• Lofty promises such as "own your own business" or "be your own boss"
• Referring to the company as "family"

Read the corporate/hustle culture thread or r/DevilCorp for more details.

 

[Old King Koaleamos]

I'd change my title to something not directly linked to being a student. Not asking you to PL, but it's kind of hard without specifics - was there a staff/clerk position related to your role that the public or an alum could be hired for? If there was, you can leverage that. If they ask why you worked for a uni. program post-graduation (they likely wont), just say that at the time your undergrad studies had a big impact on you and you wanted to work at a university to help them expand research/give that opportunity to more students/whatever. This can even be helpful if the business deals with public projects or grants, or if it's a gov/non-profit job.

Freelancing is iffy unless you have solid skills provable in the interview, or many professional connections and a portfolio.

No, the roles were very much specific to grad students. Tutoring, Teaching Assistant, Research Assistant, that kinda thing.

Freelance English Tutoring primarily done when I lived in Asia in my younger days and done now, in America, to ESL Asians. I've got references.

Also, I got my Bachelors in a midwestern place, but did my grad school in a southern state. My explanation to why I moved, when asked by employers/interviewers/etc is that I was providing end of life care to my immediate family member and that was the primary factor in my decision to do so.

Also is it just me or is every government/federal job and every Education/Corporate related job just kinda fucked due to some hiring freeze? I read on my local social media that another 3 corporations in my county are doing layoffs.

 

[Audit]

Also is it just me or is every government/federal job and every Education/Corporate related job just kinda fucked due to some hiring freeze?

There's always a hiring freeze going on somewhere. You have to be available when they're hiring and be first on the list. Even during a freeze, employers are building up a list of people or positions they'd like to pursue if funding became available.

Right now, there's a big crunch on the certainty of government funding so there's hesitancy to hire people with federal money. This frequently affects local governments who run programs off of federal grants. NIH grants for healthcare outreach efforts got slashed recently. You'll want to look for jobs funded with state or local taxes right now. I'd give it til after the midterm elections for fed-funded jobs to re-emerge in force.

 

[Kheapathic]

Put in for a job a few days ago; get a response saying they'll only take people who are authorized to work in the US and two other countries. Whoever the fuck is going over applications somehow fucking confused me having a DoD Clearance and a US Passport means I'm not a resident or citizen of the USA.

 

[babyDunk]

What do y'all do about references? I know absolutely no one,so i am not sure how to go about it when some job applications ask for 2 or 3

 

[Shroom King]

I don’t… the company I work for (and do hiring for) has an upload field for a cover letter to be uploaded. You don’t have to upload one but you can if you want.

I hire for different roles where a cover letter is useful but I can see the applications for the entire company in the dashboard I use. The jeets I was talking about (that apply for every position) will send in cover letters for all the positions and it’s the same exact cover letter.

So yes, I agree, a cover letter for a forklift operator is retarded.

I changed a brake cylinder on a forklift once, can I join your company?

 

[Let it burn to fuckin ash]

What do y'all do about references? I know absolutely no one,so i am not sure how to go about it when some job applications ask for 2 or 3

This is tough. How professional of a position is it and how professional does the reference need to be? Do they need something more than "yes he is a human with whom we have interacted as of course all humans do"?

Family friends are sometimes a good start, different last names, and a little embellishment is okay.

Even gaming friends can work because things like "he/she was exceptional at planning and executing so and so when helping me build my deck/computer/ renovate my room" because it can be used as language to describe shit in minecraft but also in real life. You just dont let them know it was in minecraft, you know?

Beyond that, anyone say in the past year with whom you have had a favourable interaction may be a good start too.

 

[HiveDull]

I don't want to PL too much in my response and I know it's been touched on in this thread, but I really feel being honest with your skillset is a good thing to have.

With the influx of inept jeets, I figure that most managers are tired of hearing "yes, sarrr. i can do that, sarrr" and just want to hear "hey man, off the top of my head I don't know how to do that. I can read and figure it out on my own and if I can't figure it out, then I'll ask for help."
Obviously, I'm not too high on the rung to warrant saying something like this so take it with a grain of salt.

Watch out for things such as:

• first interviews are just group sales pitches
• Referring to it as an "opportunity" instead of a job
• Lofty promises such as "own your own business" or "be your own boss"
• Referring to the company as "family"

Also keep an eye out for "we don't have traditional roles/we have multiple roles"
Companies that do this are just gonna use you until you eventually burn out from the workload they push onto you. Best to be avoided entirely.

 

[Charnel Ground]

Also keep an eye out for "we don't have traditional roles/we have multiple roles"
Companies that do this are just gonna use you until you eventually burn out from the workload they push onto you. Best to be avoided entirely.

Came to this thread because I'm planning my escape from exactly this type of thing.

Wish me luck.

 

[Audit]

What do y'all do about references? I know absolutely no one,so i am not sure how to go about it when some job applications ask for 2 or 3

Asking for 2 or 3 references is nature's way of saying you have to be part of the insider clique already.

 

[Nice Stick]

Asking for 2 or 3 references is nature's way of saying you have to be part of the insider clique already.

If you have an in, they won't waste time with references. IMO, asking for references is used to filter out people who have fell off of the social ladder. Such as,

- people who burned their bridges and have no professional contacts

- people who were hated at their previous jobs

- friendless basement dwellers

- people who have had nervous breakdowns or are otherwise crazy

etc.

 

[The Hardest R]

References are generally out of style these days.

If you know some well known and highly reputable people who are relevant to the industry that you’re applying to, sure, go ahead and put them down. You never know if your hiring manager worked with them in the past, it’s a small world. If it’s like a teacher from 11th grade or your youth pastor, don’t bother. “References upon request” just means you don’t have any and any hiring manager or HR catlady will see right through that shit.

I’ve been emphasizing this here since my first post in this thread but networking is basically the only chance a white guy is going to have for the foreseeable future to landing an interview. Get involved in the various trade organizations relevant to you. If you put just a modicum of effort in, you’ll be surprised how well you’d stand out, which will give you exposure to people who you can use for a reference or better yet, a job opportunity. I get it, it sucks to have to put in that kind of effort and you’re still going to get ignored a good chunk of the time for having a white penis. That’s just how shit is going to be until something changes.

 

[Old King Koaleamos]

References are generally out of style these days.

If you know some well known and highly reputable people who are relevant to the industry that you’re applying to, sure, go ahead and put them down. You never know if your hiring manager worked with them in the past, it’s a small world. If it’s like a teacher from 11th grade or your youth pastor, don’t bother. “References upon request” just means you don’t have any and any hiring manager or HR catlady will see right through that shit.

I’ve been emphasizing this here since my first post in this thread but networking is basically the only chance a white guy is going to have for the foreseeable future to landing an interview. Get involved in the various trade organizations relevant to you. If you put just a modicum of effort in, you’ll be surprised how well you’d stand out, which will give you exposure to people who you can use for a reference or better yet, a job opportunity. I get it, it sucks to have to put in that kind of effort and you’re still going to get ignored a good chunk of the time for having a white penis. That’s just how shit is going to be until something changes.

I mean, is it just white? Or white-acting mixed races/etc. It seems the HR peeps just sniff out if someone's acting white.

 

[The Hardest R]

I mean, is it just white? Or white-acting mixed races/etc. It seems the HR peeps just sniff out if someone's acting white.

HR isn’t going to demand a DNA test nor will they do a paper bag test or force you to suck a cock to prove you’re a pansexual or some shit. I think if you got like 5% Iberian DNA you should just put down that you’re a Latinks. All they care about is that they meet their ESG goals, which are to increase diversity amongst the workforce. Hell, put down disability; this is Kiwi Farms, might as well take credit for the autism we all have.

I’m sure this is distasteful to many guys here and I totally get it but you should not even expect to get a request for an interview if you’re a straight white guy without any connections to the place you’re applying for. Which is why I keep advocating to network.

 

[Mister Mint]

I'm going to expand on peoples' advice of "lie on your resume" and confirm that, yes, you should do this. Check out skills on youtube and if it looks like something you can do, just say you can do it and commit to learning it later.
Also, if you want to go the extra mile, setting up a business name in your state (if you're in the US) normally just costs a few bucks. Do that and put that company on your resume. What do you do at that company? Whatever is in the job description, as luck would have it, giving you experience in any field. Do they want references from clients? Sure, just so happens your clients are all your friends.
Also, I would think we all know this by now but considering the activity on the easily tracked username thread maybe not, but lock down your social media at least while you're job hunting. The façade breaks apart easily if they can see all your clients are also on your friends list.

 

[Old King Koaleamos]

HR isn’t going to demand a DNA test nor will they do a paper bag test or force you to suck a cock to prove you’re a pansexual or some shit. I think if you got like 5% Iberian DNA you should just put down that you’re a Latinks. All they care about is that they meet their ESG goals, which are to increase diversity amongst the workforce. Hell, put down disability; this is Kiwi Farms, might as well take credit for the autism we all have.

I’m sure this is distasteful to many guys here and I totally get it but you should not even expect to get a request for an interview if you’re a straight white guy without any connections to the place you’re applying for. Which is why I keep advocating to network.

oh yeah, makes sense. I guess I can just make note and tick every box I can.

I'm going to expand on peoples' advice of "lie on your resume" and confirm that, yes, you should do this. Check out skills on youtube and if it looks like something you can do, just say you can do it and commit to learning it later.
Also, if you want to go the extra mile, setting up a business name in your state (if you're in the US) normally just costs a few bucks. Do that and put that company on your resume. What do you do at that company? Whatever is in the job description, as luck would have it, giving you experience in any field. Do they want references from clients? Sure, just so happens your clients are all your friends.
Also, I would think we all know this by now but considering the activity on the easily tracked username thread maybe not, but lock down your social media at least while you're job hunting. The façade breaks apart easily if they can see all your clients are also on your friends list.

Funnily enough, I do have a FB that's public but I never use it. It's just there and all I get are elderly relatives wishing me good luck or Happy Birthday.