💼 Careercow Joe Cracker / Robert C. McGee

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Null said:
@Joe_Cracker you've been talking about this fucking movie for 2 fucking years why haven't you killed yourself yet
Click to expand...
Cause I'm outta rope.

In order to make it proper I would have to sell 358,621 Blu-Rays and that ain't happening anytime soon. I don't know if my fan base is that big but the fan base for found footage films is much bigger. It's about where Sci-Fi was in the 1940s and 50s.
 
Joe_Cracker said:
I was writing the script for two weeks, cause I don't have time for arguments. Plus you and I are co-writing a script and I haven't gotten any updates on it. Still waiting take your time.
Click to expand...

I got tired of waiting for you to come back here to work on your half. You immediately got all concerned with other movies that had nothing to do with our project. I moved on to work with people who won't waste my time dicking around with remakes of ten-year-old movies.
 
Joe_Cracker said:
I m

I mentioned Star Wars and Gigli to make a point about the planning and execution of a film, not to talk about other films like Heavens Gate. Unknown Creature is a found footage film so that's the focus. The most recent one The Gallows was made for 100K and made $30m+. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gallows

Mine is different because it was told from the point of view of a survivor, which for this genre is rare. The 10th Anniversary cut is a bit better you just gotta see it.
Click to expand...

1-The Gallows also had a major distribution company, mass marketing and real production value (as much as a 2nd rate found footage movie has anyway). You're a guy who put his movie on Amazon and sold less than 20 copies. You haven't been in any festivals (at least major genre festivals) nor are you regularly hitting the horror convention circuit. The biggest review you have is on Amazon from your dad who seems amazed you could do anything period. It's also 10 years old and nobody cares.

What I'm saying is comparing yourself to something like The Gallows is absurd.

2- Being told from the POV of a survivor is relatively minor. Yes it is a rare plot point but it's not big enough of a change to hook people.

3- Legit, how big do you think your fanbase is? I'm genuinely curious.
 
Joe you're so delusional. Just make a movie as cheaply as you can and put it up on amazon. I promise you that keeping your budget low and just finishing should be your goals. If it's really bad that's why people are going to watch, if your movie is too good it might actually not get as much attention.
 
Stop trying to raise money. You don't need high-end equipment to make what will undoubtedly be a bad movie. Stop pretending to be able to police the internet. Even if you had such authority (you don't) you are not qualified to use it.

Stop wasting time and go make movies.
 
Mr. X said:
Stop trying to raise money. You don't need high-end equipment to make what will undoubtedly be a bad movie. Stop pretending to be able to police the internet. Even if you had such authority (you don't) you are not qualified to use it.

Stop wasting time and go make movies.
Click to expand...
Tbf I think he quit the internet police after a week. Now he's going on vacations and ignoring his films.
 
DrChristianTroy said:
Tbf I think he quit the internet police after a week. Now he's going on vacations and ignoring his films.
Click to expand...
No, it was off and on for months. He'd open a case, make some self-important claim about how the OFP would make things right, then react in hilarious fashion when people pointed out that he had no way of having his idiotic demands carried out. At one point he actually tried to use the Occupy movement to get some kind of legitimacy, claiming that forum staff were the 1% and members were the 99%.
 
Mr. X said:
No, it was off and on for months. He'd open a case, make some self-important claim about how the OFP would make things right, then react in hilarious fashion when people pointed out that he had no way of having his idiotic demands carried out. At one point he actually tried to use the Occupy movement to get some kind of legitimacy, claiming that forum staff were the 1% and members were the 99%.
Click to expand...
Yeah, it was an amazing... well, I'd call it a circle-jerk, but a circle-jerk requires at least two people. Joe set up a forum for himself and was the only person who would post in it. He'd post a case, post his follow-up notes, post his verdict, and then post notes on the case. At no point did anyone else even enter into it, least of all the "accused". Functionally, it would have been just as useful to type a rant into Microsoft Word and then save it to his desktop.

OFP was just Joe's way of trying to process the idea that internet forums aren't obligated to put up with his crap. Naturally, he still doesn't grasp this concept.
 
Surtur said:
I still think Joe should post his movie for free. Its the only way anyone will see it.
Click to expand...
Joe keeps trying to crowdfund this thing.
About the only way I see that happening is on small increments if he makes deadlines and then let's us do a movie night on livestream. Don't get excited joe. I could see you making around $100 or $200 if you make all your deadlines. I can imagine some people on the forum would help you edit or something too.
Just sit down with your story and make a list of scenes to shoot, shoot them, and then we can talk to someone and see if they'll edit.


Really.
 
I think it's time that we made a found footage movie based upon Joe's inability to make a terrible sequel to an awful found footage movie.

While we cannot use the phrase "Unknown Creature" thanks to Joe's team of crack legal ninjas, I have it on good authority that he has never protected the name Joe Cracker...

Synopsis for Jojo Cracker, Your Life Is Wasting:

Obese, autistic man watches an Orson Welles documentary about the guy who sent Mork to Planet Earth and decides to become a filmmaker. He recruits the local yokels as his "actors" mainly by promising to mow their lawns and providing free samples of Skoal.

After 20 minutes of establishing the characters, the film becomes a loop of Jojo Cracker sleeping in, masturbating with a curious ferocity and fighting online piracy by making frownie faces over and over again. There are essentially four master shots taken from the POV of Jojo's webcam and the film loops these in random order over and over again until the viewer abandons the film in disgust and despair.

ORIGINAL IDEA DO NOT STEAL
 
Last edited:
Artard said:
I think it's time that we made a found footage movie based upon Joe's inability to make a terrible sequel to an awful found footage movie.

While we cannot use the phrase "Unknown Creature" thanks to Joe's team of crack legal ninjas, I have it on good authority that he has never protected the name Joe Cracker...

Synopsis for Jojo Cracker, Your Life Is Wasting:

Obese, autistic man watches an Orson Welles documentary about the guy who sent Mork to Planet Earth and decides to become a filmmaker. He recruits the local yokels as his "actors" mainly by promising to mow their lawns and providing free samples of Skoal.

After 20 minutes of establishing the characters, the film becomes a loop of Jojo Cracker sleeping in, masturbating with a curious ferocity and fighting online piracy by making frownie faces over and over again. There are essentially four master shots taken from the POV of Jojo's webcam and the film loops these in random order over and over again until the viewer abandons the film in disgust and despair.

ORIGINAL IDEA DO NOT STEAL
Click to expand...
This would be amazing.

Sometimes I picture Joe as a cartoon villain, and every episode is some crazy scheme to trick someone else into making his movie for him, while he takes all the credit. He's inevitably foiled more by his own ineptitude and ego than by the protagonist.
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
This would be amazing.

Sometimes I picture Joe as a cartoon villain, and every episode is some crazy scheme to trick someone else into making his movie for him, while he takes all the credit. He's inevitably foiled more by his own ineptitude and ego than by the protagonist.
Click to expand...

If I had the gusto, I would make this shit.
 
Guys, I think you scared him off with your talk of masturbation. Joe, come back, we true fans know you don't do dirty things like that.

I've come to a realization though. The whole reason he made Unknown Creature 1 in the first place was that he got a new camera for Christmas and had something to prove by getting disaccepted from film school. Also he is autistic to some degree and he loves geeking out on new technology, which is why he knows far more than is now relevant about upscaling. So I'd wager that to make Unknown Creature 2 he'll require a sparkly new camera, and something to prove which he pretty much has already. We can hope his parents break down and buy him one...

Joe can you be specific about what kind of camera you need? Does it just need to be HD? Maybe we can come to an arrangement if a contract for a complete new movie was involved.
 
H8rsG0nH8 said:
Guys, I think you scared him off with your talk of masturbation. Joe, come back, we true fans know you don't do dirty things like that.

I've come to a realization though. The whole reason he made Unknown Creature 1 in the first place was that he got a new camera for Christmas and had something to prove by getting disaccepted from film school. Also he is autistic to some degree and he loves geeking out on new technology, which is why he knows far more than is now relevant about upscaling. So I'd wager that to make Unknown Creature 2 he'll require a sparkly new camera, and something to prove which he pretty much has already. We can hope his parents break down and buy him one...

Joe can you be specific about what kind of camera you need? Does it just need to be HD? Maybe we can come to an arrangement if a contract for a complete new movie was involved.
Click to expand...
You're half right. Joe loves his shiny tech, but they're just toys to him. He whines and whines to get them, but when he actually has them, he gets bored and won't bother making movies with them. I actually wonder if the "sabatoging" of his films that his family supposedly committed was, in fact, just their refusal to spend a few grand on stuff Joe won't ever use.

Fact is, if you really want to write something, you'll write it no matter what tools you have at your disposal. If you want to make a movie, you'll make it with any camera you can. Joe gets worked up about upscaling and resolution and bitrates in order to compensate for the fact that he doesn't have the will to actually make a movie, as evidenced by the fact that his last film is now a decade old. I would also argue that even though he talks about upscaling a lot, he has some fundamental misunderstandings of what it actually entails and what it actually accomplishes.

But that's so Cracker.
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
You're half right. Joe loves his shiny tech, but they're just toys to him. He whines and whines to get them, but when he actually has them, he gets bored and won't bother making movies with them. I actually wonder if the "sabatoging" of his films that his family supposedly committed was, in fact, just their refusal to spend a few grand on stuff Joe won't ever use.

Fact is, if you really want to write something, you'll write it no matter what tools you have at your disposal. If you want to make a movie, you'll make it with any camera you can. Joe gets worked up about upscaling and resolution and bitrates in order to compensate for the fact that he doesn't have the will to actually make a movie, as evidenced by the fact that his last film is now a decade old. I would also argue that even though he talks about upscaling a lot, he has some fundamental misunderstandings of what it actually entails and what it actually accomplishes.

But that's so Cracker.
Click to expand...

This. Joe is like Connor in that he likes the idea of being a filmmaker but does not want to put the effort into actually becoming one.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom