- Joined
- Aug 9, 2022
(A|L)
Introduction:
Meet John Pavlovitz, a self-described “rogue pastor” based in Wake Forest working at the North Raleigh Community Church, dedicated to teaching the word of Jesus Christ. Well, provided you are not an evil blaspheming conservative, but ESPECIALLY if you can drop some dimes on his new shirt. You see, through his decades in ministry both on and offline, Pavlovitz has earned a reputation for “keeping it real” with his audience, primarily by using his (supposedly) religious platform for thinly veiled political rants while trying to squeeze his audience for clicks and coins with his woke wares. Pavlovitz has been noticed by Kiwi Farms and other Christians before, so it is about time this pastor for this, non-binary, MAGA-destroying God.
“So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him” Revelation 12:9
(The Rise of Pav)
The life of “Pav” (as we will call him from now on for brevity’s sake) can best be described as a “misadventure in faith”. Born a Catholic to a Russian-Italian family in Syracuse, he drifted from the Catholic church when he began to study graphic design at Philadelphia’s University of the Arts. When he wished to marry his fiancée in a church, Pav stumbled onto a Wamen led Methodist church that introduced him to Ministry. After completing his training at the Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary and working there as a youth minister for a time, he trekked south to the most definitive career in his life, ministry at the Charlotte’s Good Shepherd Methodist (Mega) Church (A).
Now, this thread isn’t meant to step on people’s dick regarding religion, but if there’s one thing people know about “mega-churches”, as an institution, is that they often try to scam their congregants with made for T.V tricks and money-harvesting schemes. Now, though the Good Shepherd has not been recorded as pushing the infamous "Prosperity Gospel" ( "make me money and God will repay you, somehow" ), the over-the-top and profit-intensive nature of Megachurches would explain Pav's mentality and motis operandi toward the faith. Also, his decades as a youth minister tailored to pitch the religion certainly left a mark on how he would aggressively market his brand of reality onto others.
His time there went on calmly until he began his personal blog in 2012 “Stuff That Needs To Be Said” (A|L). Here, all of Pav’s nascent divergences from the church gradually revealed themselves, his posts going from goofy notes and complaints about ministry life to full fledged political sperging about typical leftie points of the era (school shootings, gays, etc). Eventually, Good Shepard had enough of Pav’s confrontational style online and fired him in 2013. He would later latch onto an unnamed startup Southern Baptist Church in 2015, before being fired a mere five months later. This leaves Pav where he is today, in North Raleigh with his fervent online presence, just in time to combat the living anti-Christ in Donald Trump.
“And they assembled them at the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon.” Revelation 16:16
(A|L)
(Pav’s [Internet] Crusade against the forces of darkness)
Remember how I said Pav works at some anonymous church in North Raleigh? That was sort of a lie. His true church has always been the intellectual wellspring that is Twitter, where (by my rough calculation) he has posted on average 36 times daily since 2012. Largely they look like this:
(A|L)
As you can see, he has linked one of his articles to this tweet. He always links his articles to his tweets, reposting the same prompt and piece throughout the day to maximize the number of clicks, as seen in his Twitter Archive (key words are “MAGA, fascist, Jesus, God, compassion & grief”)
As for these articles well...
(From "A Funeral For My Christianity" [A|L])
It's almost entirely TDS fueled rants against the loathed MAGA Christians. Ironically, his unyielding 'good or evil' worldview makes him far more alike to the raving bible thumpers he supposedly rails against than any humble Christian. His constant self shilling most certainly goes against any humility.
(A|L)
His self promotion is only set to escalate with his new litany of products. Besides his books, he his launching a new “Empathetic People Network” (A.L). If his self promo of his blog hinted at shilling, his self care plans give it right away that Pav is a for profit plan, with separate monthly fees for whatever wondrous advice he will give.
In conclusion, heaven seems to be in sight for Pav’s wallet, so long as there is a MAGA to step on to reach it. If I were to make one last pitch at this “pastor” being a lolcow & not just some politishart bot is that most genuine pastors know how to behave themselves. Right or left leaning, they know to put their opinions under and through Christ’s message. So when they express their political convictions, they do it in the most philosophic (but still genuine) way possible to at least attempt to make it a universal message.
Pav does not give a fuck. Since TDS is a money/attention machine, he explicitly backs political horses with the most basic and “rowdy” soapbox endorsements imaginable, instead of meaningful sermonizing. He is thus the Fatrick of God’s Flock
Attachments
Last edited:
