🐮 Lolcow Jonah Falcon - Moonfaced Pasty Creep with the Largest Penis in the World

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Been aware of him for a long time. Agreed -- he's a huge nerd.

Thing is, with a crank that size, he could have become a killer porn star. A monstrously-hung guy that looks and acts like an Everyman shlub would make him combination of John Holmes and Ron Jeremy. Obviously he loves showing it off, and longs for stardom -- why didn't he pursue adult-film work?

They already have "monster cock" porn, but they use fake dongs for it. They wouldn't want to use a real dong because then they'd have to admit that they use a lot of fake penises in porn. Fake penis stays hard, can cum when you want it to and no std/pregnancy risk. If you never see the penis as soft, it's probably fake.

From what I've read about the industry, being a male porn star is incredibly difficult work. That's why you only see the same handful of guys in the major productions. They're dependable. You have to fuck women for hours on end while they get the different camera angles and then be able to cum on cue when the director says so. If you can't get an erection, you've ruined a whole day's worth of production and once word gets around nobody will want to take a chance on you. I'm sure it's a high-stress job.

And this. The pay is also shit unless you are one of the few guys who is famous (like Manuel Ferrera) or own your own production company (like Johnny Sins). But they are switching to more fake penises now anyway

 

[DavidFerrie]

Apologies for the thread-necroing, but Jonah is once again in the news. Looks like he took his monster-dick act to Britain.

 

[Hybrid Icing]

Wasn't this guy one of the original lolcows of Internet 1.0 15 years ago?

Go back farther. He was a lolcow, long before the term was invented, back on USENET in the early-mid 90s.