Horrorcow Jonathan Sharkey - The Vampire Pedophile Wrestler

[FatNero]

In the end he's less of a lolcow and more of an emotionally abusive father who's ready to let his only daughter die so he can live in his high-class fantasy world undisturbed. I'm kind of freaked out.

I do wish he was still pretending to be a vampire.

The last we heard of poor Vika she was stealing money from Irina's trust fund and Sharkey hated her. Now suddenly she is his beautiful wife again.

Apparently he's very forgiving.

 

[Chris did nothing wrong]

This is old, but Jon’s 2012 presidential bid was covered by a Hispanic news outlet.

Somebody in the comments called him a transsexual, and he fought back as Rachael:

“I hope my president kills all Mexicans. You are a parasite upon the world. Worse than muslims. We are a super power. You're country is full of hoes, drug dealers, drug addicts and abusive men. If my hubby would have become president of USA, he would have impaled all your countrymen, like his ancestor Vlad impaled invading Turks. Why do you say my hubby is transexual/ Because he's pretty? Pretty horny. Pretty strong. Pretty buff. Pretty sex to me. And besides me, he was a Russian girlfriend too.”

“My hubby will cut off your head, use it in a Satanic ritual. I will take your bones and do Voodoo on your family. My one USD is worth 10 peso. This means Americans are worth 10 times what a Mexican is. Russians are worth more than Americans. Proves I am far superior. My hubby sinks his fangs into my body. I have Jonathon as my hubby and Kasina (Russian) is my wife. I am great. I will do black magic on you. I will curse your soul and your family's souls. I am part of the evil empire ))”

“My hubby nor I would need a shotgun against you. He is real man. Guns are for cowards and weak people. My hubby take your shotgun and ramp it up your ass like you bf does. You like getting fucked in ass by guys. My hubby only fucks girls, not guys like you do. Russia is considered the evil empire. I am Russian and proud. I will unleash the wrath of the Goddess Hecate on you and your country. She will show you the punishment for fucking with one of her followers. In this case 2 of her followers.”

 

[ActualKiwi]

This is old, but Jon’s 2012 presidential bid was covered by a Hispanic news outlet.

Somebody in the comments called him a transsexual, and he fought back as Rachael:

“I hope my president kills all Mexicans. You are a parasite upon the world. Worse than muslims. We are a super power. You're country is full of hoes, drug dealers, drug addicts and abusive men. If my hubby would have become president of USA, he would have impaled all your countrymen, like his ancestor Vlad impaled invading Turks. Why do you say my hubby is tranny/ Because he's pretty? Pretty horny. Pretty strong. Pretty buff. Pretty sex to me. And besides me, he was a Russian girlfriend too.”

“My hubby will cut off your head, use it in a Satanic ritual. I will take your bones and do Voodoo on your family. My one USD is worth 10 peso. This means Americans are worth 10 times what a Mexican is. Russians are worth more than Americans. Proves I am far superior. My hubby sinks his fangs into my body. I have Jonathon as my hubby and Kasina (Russian) is my wife. I am great. I will do black magic on you. I will curse your soul and your family's souls. I am part of the evil empire ))”

“My hubby nor I would need a shotgun against you. He is real man. Guns are for cowards and weak people. My hubby take your shotgun and ramp it up your ass like you bf does. You like getting fucked in ass by guys. My hubby only fucks girls, not guys like you do. Russia is considered the evil empire. I am Russian and proud. I will unleash the wrath of the Goddess Hecate on you and your country. She will show you the punishment for fucking with one of her followers. In this case 2 of her followers.”

So...that's some of the most confused shit I've seen written for a while. Going on about ho america is good, and russia is better, and then saying it's an evil empire? And Hecate is nothing to do with Russia either, unless Russians have taken up the mantle of old greek mythology suddenly. And if I'm remembering my mythology correctly, wasn't she more represented as a nurturing mother?

 

[Chris did nothing wrong]

If he’s a vampire, why does he like girls that don’t bleed?

 

[CatFace]

"And besides me, he was a Russian girlfriend too."

So, confirmed tranny.

 

[FatNero]

I was planning to come back to this guy, he got a tattoo of one of his fake wives--

He also told everyone his daughter was pregnant again and had double cancer or some shit, then when everyone freaked he pulled a "just kidding".

 

[ActualKiwi]

I was planning to come back to this guy, he got a tattoo of one of his fake wives--

View attachment 83808
He also told everyone his daughter was pregnant again and had double cancer or some shit, then when everyone freaked he pulled a "just kidding".

Double Cancer: For when one cancer just isn't good enough (tm).

 

[Chris did nothing wrong]

https://web.archive.org/web/20060203042718/http://www.jonathonforgovernor.us/Home_page.html

Jon’s archived campaign site for the 2006 Minnesota governor election. Some highlights/insanity:

>Okay, it appears his deep seated hatred and desire to impale drug addicts and those who commit DWI/DUIs comes from his ex, Susan, being a drug addict. Looks like they had a bitter relationship will lots of legal troubles, he even claims she wrongly sent him to prison. He also credits her actions for being why he took up Satanism. So basically his whole lifestyle and his homicidal delusions of justice could be seen as a petty attempt to get back at her, which is fucked beyond belief.

>Slept with (or should I say “impaled”) his own half-sister, doesn’t regret it, and has no qualms giving his information out on a political campaign site.

>He worked on Jeb Bush’s 1994 and 1998 runs for Florida governor (there are photos on the site of him with Bush in 2002 at the Florida Republican Convention, so it’s plausible). Funny considering his current waifu is Trump.

>He desires to if elected erect a “Wall of Religious Beliefs” listing “everything from the Wiccan Rede to the Ten Commandments”. What’s the Establishment Clause again?
>Wants a female running mate for Vice President because women are good with budgeting as they stay home all day. Wat.

>Has a son named Matthew, I don’t believe he’s been mentioned here before.

 

[QueenBurritoSupreme]

I find it so highly entertaining that he is being catfished by the same chick that catfished Lucas Werner.

 

[SheWolfOfWA]

I find it so highly entertaining that he is being catfished by the same chick that catfished Lucas Werner.

He tried to say the tattoo was her face.

 

[Chris did nothing wrong]

Jon’s trying to begin a “non-profit charity”, The Lutsk Children’s Foundation. There are two explanations for this:

1) Obvious scam

2) He is legitimately trying to start a non-profit to get close to children. Though it sure would be a shame if the people he would need to persuade to get this thing off the ground found about him abducting underage girls from their parents. The fact that he’s got a weird ethnic fetish for Eastern European girls somehow makes this whole thing even creepier.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/Lutsk-Childrens-Foundation-173543356393147/?pnref=story

 

[Yawning Asperchu]

I wish this thread had hundreds of pages to read through, I want MOAR (but am too busy/lazy to investigate).

 

[FatNero]

I wish this thread had hundreds of pages to read through, I want MOAR (but am too busy/lazy to investigate).

He just isn't active enough anymore. He's doing stupid shit but he's sort of learned his lesson and repeats himself a lot. Pretend racecar driving, mooch off daughter, go to ukraine, get scammed, come home pretend racecar driving.

Just to give you an idea, right now he's back in Lutsk and he's pretending to be married to a woman named Victoria, who has three children and they're all sick and need his help. Oh and Victoria's uncle happens to be dying of cancer (it also looks like he faked his own cancer scare recently). I think he's developed a need to lie about people and himself being sick for sympathy.

Christ scanning his facebook again-- this is a depressing post.

 

[Yawning Asperchu]

He just isn't active enough anymore. He's doing stupid shit but he's sort of learned his lesson and repeats himself a lot. Pretend racecar driving, mooch off daughter, go to ukraine, get scammed, come home pretend racecar driving.

Just to give you an idea, right now he's back in Lutsk and he's pretending to be married to a woman named Victoria, who has three children and they're all sick and need his help. Oh and Victoria's uncle happens to be dying of cancer (it also looks like he faked his own cancer scare recently). I think he's developed a need to lie about people and himself being sick for sympathy.

View attachment 120276

Christ scanning his facebook again-- this is a depressing post.
View attachment 120279

Sounds like your (not so) typical case of Munchausen Syndrome.

Anyway, thanks for all the work you've put into this thread. I think I'll check out his Facebook now and then in the hopes that things pick up.

 

[FatNero]

OK JESUS, so I was very wrong, I've been scanning his facebook just to see if I missed anything the last few month and christ did I ever.

He's trying to open a kids "help" center in ukraine where parents will drop children off with him for help. He's pricing it our and everything.

He's setting up a rape shop!

Now granted this reads like the ramblings of a moron and it isn't going to happen. And it makes no sense that he is starting the company if florida, but still he's thinking about ways to get people to give him their children.

 

[FatNero]

Alright getting a little sick of constant capping of his facebook so maybe I'll just do written updates?

Today while simultaneously being in Lutsk (forgot to change his facebook location) he got surgery on his nose in Florida. He claims his fake wife hit him and broke his nose and wants someone to photoshop her face on Rocky's body. Which is all sorts of levels of creepy.

 

[Donbasstard]

Real Victoria is not a surgical nurse. She's in the hospitality business. I was doing work off the grid, while I doubt he's really going to do this cancer help center thing. I'm going to make sure this doesn't happen.

 

[Chris did nothing wrong]

Something I found in my ventures into the abyss that was the internet 2010. Years ago, Jon contacted the Department of Homeland Security over a falling out with a vampire forum. In his words the Atlanta Vampire Alliance was a domestic terrorist organization that violated the Patriot Act for daring to like asinine but harmless vampire media like Twilight. Jon begged the government to reinstate him in the military so he could hunt down these poser vampiric terrorists who weren’t even real enough to drink human blood.

Bonus: rare footage of Jon in the wild.

edit: a word

 

[Yawning Asperchu]

Update time.

Late September 2016:

Jonathon makes this mysterious post on his Facebook page:

1) New (fake) wife saga on the way?
2) Man, those Indy 500 drivers sure dodged a bullet.

October 2016:

After playing some lame cat and mouse games about who the new lady is, a status update for marriage is posted on October 14th.

Spoiler: The lucky lady

Oksana, from (big surprise coming) the Ukraine. According to her Facebook page, she now lives in Florida and is a nurse. It also says that she graduated high school in 1999, putting her well above the age of girls he's actually able to wrangle in real life.

Worth noting is the fact that she doesn't even acknowledge him, ever, on his Facebook page or her's. Also, her Facebook page, though active for as far back as at least 2011, seems to have not been used since all this marriage talk started. But she's a big Twilight fan and he's a vampire, so he's got that going for him.

His story on how their love came to be:

Spoiler: <3

They eloped, so there's no need to question the lack of witnesses:

Spoiler: Daughter: "WTF?"

Tell her, Jen.

A couple other funny things:

Jonathon vows to be a cranky old twat during the holiday season:

Spoiler: "Fuck X-mas!"

Facebook quizes are tearing this marriage apart:

Spoiler: :-O

Lol no, pretty sure she has no idea who you are or what the hell is going on.

To summarize; he has another fantasy Eastern European wife, his dopey friends all believe it, he's still an awesome race car driver and crazy as fuck. No recent mentions of vampirism or wrestling however

 

[FatNero]

Yeah I've been keeping up with him, his life is one big circle.

Step 1. Be in florida for some medical stuff while mooching of his dying daughter.
Step 2. Use govt money to go to Eastern Europe.
Step 3. Make up fake wife, tell stories about his new daughter (got like 40 now).
Step 4. Come back to florida for medical stuff.