Off-Topic July 4th Midterms: Australatina - Former Dictator Spudman on life support after botched genital mutilation

Which Party Has Australatina's Confidence?

  • Communion Catolicos

    Votes: 8 10.3%
  • Derecha Republicana

    Votes: 18 23.1%
  • Anglican Union

    Votes: 9 11.5%
  • Union Verde

    Votes: 9 11.5%
  • Write-In

    Votes: 34 43.6%

  • Total voters
    78
  • Poll closed .
And we're at the point where I think I know that the caciques and caudillos are bribing the hell out of this country and winning. Might as well explain what this will mean given I'm definitely doing a 2020 for this:

So given that write-ins are still handily winning, I might as well tell you guys what that does. This is the second time write-ins for the caciques and caudillos are a major force, so when this poll ends, expect an autistic "news article" about how KOFO (Kiwi Oppression Force Operations) are organizing as an actual party for 2020 when it rolls around.

So use that time to hammer out a platform, though be warned that I am a no-fun allowed guy that tries to render sanity from insanity.
 
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Reactions: Tragi-Chan
I tried to do a critique of his Gary Stu Hetalia OC.
I shall find it...

Edit: translation of my chicken-scratch. I did this shit last year, so there will be caustic critique:
1) How in the Fuck are ya gonna ride a bike in a fucking TOWEL?!

"Yaoi District"
>Countries Dont Work that way, M'Kay? LGBT rights differ from each country, faggot
>BDSM
Ahahahaha its a lifestyle, not "50 Shades of Grey"
Communism
>lol
Communism was in -1800's- 1920's in Europe.
Turkey's Communism was Vastly Different from Russia's; Maoist Communism and Stalinist Communism were in opposite spectrums and Russia and China despised each other in the 1950's :heart-full:
Further; every country's version. Of. Communism. Was. Adapted. To. Their. Own. Cultural. Norms.

(Left chicken-scratch): Jennifer Lopez as Governor LOLWHUT
celebrities dont work that way. They are not politicians.
 

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As a standard white male, Phil should use his imagination for writing Dungeons & Dragons adventures.
 
Homestretch for votes, though again be warned that you're giving me a good deal of control over what KOFO will look like given I'm seeing a lot of 'write-ins' with no platform.

I'm tempted to make it a Libertarian-themed party given we have Christian Democracy, Social Liberal, a decentralist party, and right wing populism. Probably center social wise, but with a theme of economic liberalism.
 
I'd say we'd be making Australatina great again, but that would be implying it ever was in the first place.

Vote for me and I'll turn this two-bit dictatorship into a three-bit dictatorship with a dedicated meme economy.
 
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I’m going to throw my hat into the ring. Vote for me and I’ll set off a massive nuclear charge in the center of the country and throw Phil into the radiation-soaked crater from hell. I view it as analogous to the trench between his legs.
 
be warned that I am a no-fun allowed guy that tries to render sanity from insanity.
Also keep this in mind when you make your pledges.

Either way, it's going to be a very bland looking electoral map for you guys, since I use gray at the moment for write-ins... actually, you fucks want to suggest a party color for the newly organized party KOFO?
 
I will throw my name in for the presidency. I will remove all sanctions from the USA, and engage in full democracy, while having a military to squash any enemy of the state.
 
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The results were not unexpected, though troubling, based on the later polls made for the country; it was clear that 'independents' and 'write-in' candidates stormed the polls and have returned a majority of the ministers and earned a plurality of the votes. There has been some protests, particularly in cities like Gloucester and Santa Judas (the renamed city of San Felipe, who resoundingly changed their name back to the city's old name) that the results were due to the efforts of powerful caudillos and caciques.

It's not entirely wrong, given that the Minister of Industry Jose d'Acero (@Broseph Stalin ) resigned in protest over what he called "a steadily growing dictatorship of the free man", a move that destroyed confidence. There also have been reports of former KOFO freedom fighters intimidating prospective voters. A blithe comment by a caudillo, (@Pikimon ) "I already bought the election with half a Chipotle coupon to the ballot counter so it doesn't matter whose running." also drove some issues in the country.

However, there was a genuine backlash against the AU-DR coalition, even without strongmen aid. President Davis' term lost a decent amount of support from the Indigenos and rapidly growing Federalista movement. This was attributed to his rightward drift and slowing down of decentralization of the country, ie going back on his campaign promises. The Famine of 2017 also hurt the coalition's chances, being blamed on Davis as well. Either way, the results have forced them into a minority government.

The other parties barring Union Verde and Derecha Republicana took hits as well. Communion Catolicos has clearly drifted rightwards, given that Padre Ricardo Valero himself was unseated and overthrown by the conservative Desiderio Grajo (@Ravenor ) a hardliner expatriate who recently came back to his homeland with the pledge to purge "the den of degeneracy" he called his homeland. Similar gaffes and missteps would scare off the left branch of the party, who found themselves voting for independents or for Union Verde.

Union Verde actually did quite fine, but still found themselves as a small minority in the House. Their founder Ignacia Alamilla has stuck to her pledge to "rip out those roads to nowhere!" and "Make your job not just clean, but safe!". The winner besides the caudillos and caciques has to be Derecha Republicana; they were the only party to jump up in numbers. This was attributed to de Mayo's reopening of relations with the US, as well as the trade deals he made with President Trump of the US. He still pledges to "Make Australatina Great Again", and is expected like his peer Ignacia to stay on in leadership.

The interesting thing was that there are talks of taking the former resistance group KOFO (or OFOK as it is better known among the Spanish speakers) and turning it into a party itself, similar to how Mugabe's ZANU-PF became a political party. There are currently three candidates running to become leader of this new organization. The front man at the moment is former Minister of Industry d'Acero, whose wellknown libertarian views have drifted into the Rothbardian school. Two other former operatives include Jaima Alfaro (@Jaimas ), who is running a more nationalist and populist campaign with authoritarian leanings. The last candidate is Florencio Azarola (@flossman ), a political unknown who has made one pledge and one pledge only; to detonate a nuclear device to make a radioactive pit in the middle of nowhere and to throw former strongman Delici into it via helicopter.

And through it all, former dictator Las Papas is reduced to autistic shrieking in rage on his deathcouch as no one is paying attention to him.
Autistan2018.png
 
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The last candidate is Florencio Azarola (@flossman ), a political unknown who has made one pledge and one pledge only; to detonate a nuclear device to make a radioactive pit in the middle of nowhere and to throw former strongman Delici into it via helicopter.
I stand by my pledge. When the tyranny of Delici has been dealt with the people of Australatina can finally feel free. No more mandatory riots or demonization of police officers just seeking to keep their fellow citizens safe. A new era of safety, immigration, and economic prosperity will follow when the fear of Delici’s violent policies are gone.

Plus his body exploding as it hits the lava will be one hell of a firework.
 
The other parties barring Union Verde and Derecha Republicana took hits as well. Communion Catolicos has clearly drifted rightwards, given that Padre Ricardo Valero himself was unseated and overthrown by the conservative Desiderio Grajo (@Ravenor ) a hardliner expatriate who recently came back to his homeland with the pledge to purge "the den of degeneracy" he called his homeland. Similar gaffes and missteps would scare off the left branch of the party, who found themselves voting for independents or for Union Verde.

I am quite happy with the results of this midterm as it sets a stage for a strong showing during the elections.

We are starting to see a seed change amongst the proud people of the Republic on the issues of Yaoi, Self Stimming and fiscal malfeasance amongst the political class, and I would like to underline my campaign pledge to Purge the unclean by announcing our new Policy.

"Bolter in every hand, and a Powerboot up every ass"

As a nation we have long been self reliant and the degeneracy that is currently gripping our nation has relied on handouts for far to long, So as part of this Policy to reinvigorate our once proud arms industry that has been left to rot in favour of the Bat and Pepper spray industries we are announcing that All Ellegable Citizens of working age are going to receive a Bolter, and that's not all to help stimulate our petrochemical industries that have long suffered under the "Bike First" pogroms and to help cauterise the Rot all citizens over the age of retirement will also be given a Flamer, and to assist our tooling manufacturing sector all other Citizens will be offered Chainswords.

Thought for the day - Don't ask Why when kicking the troon, ask Why not?
 
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