Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%
  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%
  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%
  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%

  • Total voters
    626
So apparently Jenna threatens to kill herself, of course the classy way via Instagram stories.

More proof Philip married the wrong sister. She just took begging on the internet to a whole new level, a lot better than that spinning-in-a-chair and eating-skittles bullshit Kat came up with.

Philip on Twitter:
“A reminder that if we don’t hit the tips goal, I’ll blow my brains out live on tonight’s stream. So come join my fun and chill streams today and help with your positive contributions to keep the vest streak and myself alive.“
 
More proof Philip married the wrong sister. She just took begging on the internet to a whole new level, a lot better than that spinning-in-a-chair and eating-skittles bullshit Kat came up with.

Philip on Twitter:
“A reminder that if we don’t hit the tips goal, I’ll blow my brains out live on tonight’s stream. So come join my fun and chill streams today and help with your positive contributions to keep the vest streak and myself alive.“
Too bad he would get kicked off of Twitch and striked on Youtube.
 
If she kills herself. Do you think Phil acknowledges it as dirty evil detractors?
"I'm sure you guys already know but *snort*, my wife's *thumbs to his right* sister...she killed herself. She had a history of mental issues that you don't need to know about. The trolls, those mentally ill fucks kept mocking her and, uh, giving her negative attention while being fully aware of her issues! They knew that she could have lost it at any moment! And they kept pushing her further off the deep end! They knew that this would hurt m-, uh, her! *T-pose* They have no respect or conscious and this is the type of shit that they do! So the bottom line is that basically I'm going to take some time off so I can help my mo-wife out with stuff, like cooking. If you could help out in any way so we can give her a good funeral, I would be very grateful *folded hands*"
 
That bitch needs another exorcism.

The best part of the video is that while she rambles on, everyone is just ignoring her.

I bet she has some great conversations with herself at night.
 
To be fair we tried to help her by connecting her with her sister. Phil and Kat chose to ignore the messages. It's on them.
 
With the talk about how maybe the extra controller that Phil scammed out of his piggies was for Kat, I started to wonder: you guys think Kat is scummy like Phil?

It's not necessarily related to this event, maybe it was just Phil being retarded as usual, but I do wonder. I can't believe that Kat isn't, at the very least, complacent with Phil's scumminess. There's no way she hasn't read on Phil's multiple scams. Anywhere you go to read about Phil, with the exception of his own streams, you'll be bombarded with the many disgusting actions by the roach. A person who knows she's involved with scum and doesn't do anything about it is pretty scummy IMO.

What do you all think? Is Kat just an innocent potato oblivious to the fact that she's married to the gout lord of the dark syde? Or is she truly Catherine von Gout McRoach?
 
With the talk about how maybe the extra controller that Phil scammed out of his piggies was for Kat, I started to wonder: you guys think Kat is scummy like Phil?

It's not necessarily related to this event, maybe it was just Phil being retarded as usual, but I do wonder. I can't believe that Kat isn't, at the very least, complacent with Phil's scumminess. There's no way she hasn't read on Phil's multiple scams. Anywhere you go to read about Phil, with the exception of his own streams, you'll be bombarded with the many disgusting actions by the roach. A person who knows she's involved with scum and doesn't do anything about it is pretty scummy IMO.

What do you all think? Is Kat just an innocent potato oblivious to the fact that she's married to the gout lord of the dark syde? Or is she truly Catherine von Gout McRoach?

I think she'd have to be willfully ignorant to not realize something is up after the bankruptcy - if she saw the claimed expenses she should have known they were fabricated, even if she didn't then it should have raised obvious questions like "why are we constantly buying things we don't need if you're broke?" and "you know you can pay more than the minimum on a credit card, right?". I don't even think her possible special needs or psych issues excuse this, the contradictions are obvious enough that a teenager could spot them.

More fundamentally, she established from the get-go that she didn't care about right or wrong when she cheated on "Subaru Man" and had no problems mooching off of Phil when she moved out there with no plans to contribute to the house at all.
 
With the talk about how maybe the extra controller that Phil scammed out of his piggies was for Kat, I started to wonder: you guys think Kat is scummy like Phil?

It's not necessarily related to this event, maybe it was just Phil being retarded as usual, but I do wonder. I can't believe that Kat isn't, at the very least, complacent with Phil's scumminess. There's no way she hasn't read on Phil's multiple scams. Anywhere you go to read about Phil, with the exception of his own streams, you'll be bombarded with the many disgusting actions by the roach. A person who knows she's involved with scum and doesn't do anything about it is pretty scummy IMO.

What do you all think? Is Kat just an innocent potato oblivious to the fact that she's married to the gout lord of the dark syde? Or is she truly Catherine von Gout McRoach?
A lot of Phil's scams and stuff have sort of been tied to Kat in a way, even from before we knew she existed. He was flying her out there for a while before she moved in, he lied about going to see his parents to get married right after begging for tax money and he partially blamed Jasper on Kat too, the exact line was something like "[Kat] has been around cats her entire life."

I think there's room to say that Kat only cares for the outcome of Phil's actions and not his methods, especially with how much odd shit can be tied to her. Hell, the fact that she ditched car man for Phil makes me think that she just takes what she can get, Phil was offering more and I don't think the guy that filmed his dead eyed girlfriend sitting in his car to show off his speakers was exactly a catch, not to mention that Phil probably wants to keep her around and thinks that giving her whatever she asks for (which probably isn't much) is the way to do it, just like buying Leanna shit ton of soap stuff in order to court the Panda.
 
With the talk about how maybe the extra controller that Phil scammed out of his piggies was for Kat, I started to wonder: you guys think Kat is scummy like Phil?

It's not necessarily related to this event, maybe it was just Phil being retarded as usual, but I do wonder. I can't believe that Kat isn't, at the very least, complacent with Phil's scumminess. There's no way she hasn't read on Phil's multiple scams. Anywhere you go to read about Phil, with the exception of his own streams, you'll be bombarded with the many disgusting actions by the roach. A person who knows she's involved with scum and doesn't do anything about it is pretty scummy IMO.

What do you all think? Is Kat just an innocent potato oblivious to the fact that she's married to the gout lord of the dark syde? Or is she truly Catherine von Gout McRoach?
She's scummy, but not as scummy as Phil. That isn't meant to be some kind of compliment or defense of Kat, it's just really hard to match how scummy Phil is.

I don't think it's a stretch to say Kat doesn't care about Phil and is just using him for room and board. That alone is pretty scummy. I don't think she cares much about what Phil does for grifting. She just cares he has money to pay for her basic comforts. How he gets that money doesn't matter to her in the slightest, because Phil doesn't matter to her in the slightest.
 
Katherine cares about having enough money to live a safe, comfortable life and will do so by any means without regard for others. If we believe what Subaru Man has said about her, this is how she's always been. And it's not uncommon in today's society.
 
Katherine cares about having enough money to live a safe, comfortable life and will do so by any means without regard for others. If we believe what Subaru Man has said about her, this is how she's always been. And it's not uncommon in today's society.

She certainly had more success than her half sister in that regard. Kat just has to take a TV dinner out of Chef Mike while Jenna takes it in the ass.

What do we know about Subaru Man anyway? Only videos I've seen are private or missing.
 
Subaru Man was called Jeff something, I'm sure someone with a longer memory will post it eventually. Guy was bald and a little younger than Kat. Female detractors at the time commented he wasn't bad looking if you don't mind the cue ball top. Certainly not as vile looking as Phil. Was into cars and hanging out with his boys, so probably just a really normal dude. He was gonna talk about Kat with some detractor for the farms, but some turboautists spooked him. Can't blame him.

We did get a few things out of him before he privated everything. He said Kat is generally a low energy, unmotivated person who's happy to lounge around, and she had been couch surfing for a while before she met him. Kat wouldn't even cook or clean, he handled most of that stuff. Eventually, he caught her RED HANDED! With her hand in the COOKIE JAR! Texting with Snortmaster and kicked her the fuck out immediately. That's when Phil ramped up the begging for "Muh Soulmaid", so he could right the wrong he himself brought around.

As for Kat being as greasy as Phil is, it's been said before. Kat's just not very ambitious. As long as she's taken care of she's happy. And for a 30 year old who's only qualified to bag groceries, poaching the roach was a fairly good catch. And yes, Kat absolutely knows about us, and probably even read here for a while. Which means she indeed knows about Phil's grift and doesn't give a fuck. In a way, it makes sense: Would you rather bag groceries for a living for the next thirty years, get a shitty pension and retire to a cozy trailer park with all the other white trash, or lie your way into a comfortable living?

As far as her personality goes, it's boilerplate basic and shallow. She wasn't so much offended that we laughed at her as she was offended that people called her a demon-possessed raccoon-mare. Not because of her past, and she's proved she doesn't really give much of a fuck about Jenna either; Just because we called her ugly and said she must have got a hold of Homer's Makeup Shotgun. That hints at an overwhelming mental frailty that would make her a perfect match for Phil. Imagine giving a shit about some asshole on the internet saying you're ugly. Welp, that's what we know of her. Dull, slow, bad at videogames in pretty much the same way Phil is lately, Kat struggled with simple tasks very frequently and it took her an exceptionally long amount of time to get through anything.

Her jokes were also generally miss or miss harder, and her attempts at basic e-thottery (I haven't had sex for ages!) were about as appealing to the average human as a Momokun shoot. Would Kat beg and grift for money on the internet if she had the chance and Kiwifarms hadn't caught her scent already? Yeah, probably. She never really feigned any distress on her streams, but now she's seen first hand that shit works. I wouldn't really put E-thottery past her either.

And as for Jenna, I just don't know. That's a good show but at times it makes me a little sad that someone so young is in such a shitty situation and the only way she sees out of it is to suicide bait, beg and hoe at the most basic level. Clean up your hair and stream talking shit about Phil, girl. Your crazyness can be legitimately entertaining in an Alex Jones sort of way, even. Just restream Phil in a low cut top and beg super hard, you'll steal SOME of his wheelchairs, dudette. Be your own captain-save-a-ho.

EDIT: Wording.
 
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