Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%
  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%
  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%
  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%

  • Total voters
    626
Although I'm leaning more towards it being a case of Phil hitting a kind of breaking point with his career, this certainly can't be ruled out, because he has been observed a number of times aiming his emotions at something else in order to express them (because he loves doing so in spite of the risk involved) while not leaving himself quite as vulnerable as he would be if he were honest about the source of said emotions.

And for all his ineptitude, Phil is not completely without his wits. For example, one time he was taunted about getting kicked out of a Champions guild (in fact I think it was the last one that ever kicked him) by somebody in the chat, and he looked right at the camera with such a "Done with this shit" look on his face, while saying, in an exhausted tone, "I don't know what you're talking about..."

He was obviously trying to play that off like he was tired of people making references to shit he's not in on, and he failed in that, but the important part is that he still didn't go so far as to slip and say anything about it being a Champions meme or even express in actual words that he was sick of anything. His body language and tone betrayed him, as did his reaction in general because he also banned the person, but his mouth interestingly did not. He didn't get as toxic or childish over it as you would expect him to. In fact the only reason we can be sure he understood the comment is because we've seen what it really looks like when something goes over his head, and it's like night and day.

Also, and this is just speculation on my part, but after Leanna walked out, Phil got really nasty for quite awhile, and at least some of that may have been steam being let loose from during the relationship, because we have it on camera that Leanna contradicted him a lot. He doesn't just let that shit slide forever, it comes out at some point, and I think it's reasonable to posit that the closer in proximity someone was to him when they irked him with their injection of truth, the more irked he gets by it.

One way or another, we'll find out one day, because we always do.
 
Although I'm leaning more towards it being a case of Phil hitting a kind of breaking point with his career, this certainly can't be ruled out, because he has been observed a number of times aiming his emotions at something else in order to express them (because he loves doing so in spite of the risk involved) while not leaving himself quite as vulnerable as he would be if he were honest about the source of said emotions.

And for all his ineptitude, Phil is not completely without his wits. For example, one time he was taunted about getting kicked out of a Champions guild (in fact I think it was the last one that ever kicked him) by somebody in the chat, and he looked right at the camera with such a "Done with this shit" look on his face, while saying, in an exhausted tone, "I don't know what you're talking about..."

He was obviously trying to play that off like he was tired of people making references to shit he's not in on, and he failed in that, but the important part is that he still didn't go so far as to slip and say anything about it being a Champions meme or even express in actual words that he was sick of anything. His body language and tone betrayed him, as did his reaction in general because he also banned the person, but his mouth interestingly did not. He didn't get as toxic or childish over it as you would expect him to. In fact the only reason we can be sure he understood the comment is because we've seen what it really looks like when something goes over his head, and it's like night and day.

Also, and this is just speculation on my part, but after Leanna walked out, Phil got really nasty for quite awhile, and at least some of that may have been steam being let loose from during the relationship, because we have it on camera that Leanna contradicted him a lot. He doesn't just let that shit slide forever, it comes out at some point, and I think it's reasonable to posit that the closer in proximity someone was to him when they irked him with their injection of truth, the more irked he gets by it.

One way or another, we'll find out one day, because we always do.

I think, as a hivemind of tractors, we tend to think that Phil's only going to get hit by one thing at a time, or that he's only feeling heat from one direction. He's gotten pretty erratic lately, or at least it's been better documented lately. There's nothing saying that he's not feeling pressure from multiple directions. Kat might be looking to get out at the same time as his numbers start falling while he also has to cope with really feeling his age and taking constant hits to his ego.

I don't think Kat bailing is even the worst thing that could happen to Phil. I think, in his own fucked up sort of way, he did care about Leanna. Granted, from what we saw, he treated her poorly and was a generally shitty boyfriend/fiance/full-time-live-in-boyfriend to her. They still got together in a relatively normal circumstance, if you ignore the potential (probable) part where he was talking to her when she was underage. They had a more normal relationship without any real baggage coming in.

Now take post breakup Phil. Phil was at his most toxic after that, had probably decided not to let himself be in a situation to get burned again, so he picked up the first scrap he could get. We have seen very little to suggest he gives a shit about anything other than having another warm body in the house, just so he can say that does. If/when she moves on, I don't think we get a christmas 2017 stream. I think we get a fuck twitch stream. I think we get him letting out all the things she did to piss him off, along with other things she did that we will not be able to verify.

At least I hope so. I'm not a praying man, but if there are gods listening, make it happen.
 
The "Khet and Phil are having trouble" theory tends to come up anytime Phil acts pissy or bitter, which naturally means it comes up fairly often. I think the more accurate cause is Phil is just a pissy and bitter person. It's not like Phil has a reputation for being a calm and reasonable person most of the time and now his toxic behavior is a new thing. Outside of the incident, I'd say most people know Phil because of his shitty attitude. Phil is just a miserable person, we've seen how long he holds onto grudges for. He doesn't interact with anyone else, so these grudges only fester and grow as time goes on.

On top of that, Phil is a loser who desperately wants to be seen as a winner. That's why he still lashes out at more popular streamers/reviewers/anyone else he thinks is a shill. He's also known to lash out at his own genuine fans if they step out of line or say anything he doesn't like. He's always been like this, the Leanna years are filled with examples of Phil acting in this same erratic fashion.

I think if anything is different, it's income related. Phil can ignore his general bitterness and go clown mode if he's getting enough money, and back in the day he had more people reliably tossing cash at him. Now, while he's still making far too much money, it's more spread out and he's reliant on a small group of whales, something even he can't deny anymore, as he frequently points out "I'd only have made X if not for Y"

With Leanna, Phil was happy to talk about their relationship, both positive and negative. Aside from the famous hospital incident, he also talked about how she was upset he didn't spend more time with her, not having an engagement ring etc. With Khet, Phil still does it, but we tend to gloss over it because of how boring it is. They're both hermits with no ambition or creativity. They order fast food, with Khet sometimes mixing it up with some basic potato meal she is vaguely capable of cooking. Sometimes they watch streamers together (even though Phil never watches other content creators) and sometimes Phil watches her play video games (likely while playing Champions)
 
Thing is, I would expect Phil to be okay with just coasting, especially if the rest of his life is the same old shit. Yes, he bitches about the paypigs letting a whale or two hit the tips goal pretty much by themselves, but again, I expect him to not like that situation just from being Phil. In that I expect him to bitch because with the paypigs doing that, he gets less money to play gacha with later, than he would if the paypigs didn't operate that way. I don't expect him to worry about what he should be worried about, and that's that this is a sign of how legit hard things are going to get down the road. I don't expect him to see that Champions being out of his life is the least of his concerns.

I'm not really convinced of anything, but I do find it easier to swallow the idea that something has happened to prompt Phil to drudge up practically his entire career, than I do the idea that it has finally dawned on him that he's not in as good of a place as his dumb ass is prone to thinking. I'm so used to him not seeing the forest for the trees that it has become near impossible for me to believe that he physically can. He has obviously not considered the distant future, appearing to either assume that tards will float him until he's whatever age he thinks he's going to live to, or, more likely IMO, not even want to put any thought to that out of sheer terror. He may not know his true situation, but he'll still be aware enough of not ever having any money put away to be afraid of being in his seventies, still reliant on streaming. I expect him to not want to think about it at all, but still be very aware that it's going to happen unless he dies young. He knows his money doesn't get put away, so even he can't deny what the inevitable is, decades into the future. He knows he'll never have a retirement, and will spend every day trying to stave off accounting for it. Readying himself for it.

And like I said, this goes especially if his life otherwise is what he's used to. We've seen how he gets when something "exciting" happens, well, what are we to expect when it's more worrying than eventful? It's going to come out, he can't help that, even if he tries. That's what I saw two days ago, Phil complaining about the way things have gone for the last decade or so, because something beyond reading the Farms or looking at his bank statements prompted him to think about it all. It may be that it was small, but that would be odd, for Phil. Look what it took for him to stop laughing and start raging over Champions getting out.
 
Could the slightly more clown mode and somewhat more unhinged behavior Phil showed yesterday possibly be linked to Khet beginning to show signs of leaving? Signs that even thick as pig shit Phil can pick up on.
Khet leaving will be spontaneous.

Just like she left Jeff Subaru, she'd have someone texting behind the scenes, then announce to DSP she's out and fuck off. The divorce and other shit will follow (or might not) but yea, it's not gonna be a long thing.

However, if Khet leaves, it will be Armageddon.

Screeching autism, depressed piggy, hangover streams, the whole enchilada. Yea, he's gonna be making mad cash during that time, but you can only wipe so many tears with dollar bills.

Anyways, Khet's still there, and will be for awhile, until her own life suffers from how trash DSP is.

Now she gets to have the privileges of an "ahffice" (when has a trailer park rat had an ahffice before dood), she gets to live her mature adult life in a gated community, and gets to order food and live lavishly, in living standards she's never seen before (and never will again).

Only if the house is lost (matter of time, DSP has NO backup plan, 10 year plan is erased), she'd consider leaving the DarkSyde in search of greener pastures.

What else do couples argue about? Social life. Well, good thing both of them are retarded, insecure hermits who'd not like to engage with the community they live in. I myself don't live in a gated community, but I'd assume the demographic there is at least semi-sophisticated and intelligent. Good luck to half-retard Kat and full retard Phil - people who have absolutely nothing to talk about (and I mean a productive conversation, not rambling about vidya and skyrim OST).

DSP knows he's dying alone and miserable, probably from a heavy night of drinking if Kat leaves his stupid ass, so he will do ANYTHING to make her stay.

Don't forget, he got engaged to Leanna after he knew that relationship was done with.

Most probably got married to Kat real quick, under the guise of "my parents are literally dying dood, quick, lets get married, they're paying for everything" to hook that dumb horse-faced bitch and lock her in by law.

So yea, Kat's there, and she'll stick around, because she knows her ceiling, and her current life is way above that.

They're both really lucky to have each other...
 
So can we talk about the Sour Cream Incident? I transcribed it for everyone's convenience:
Karen Burpnell said:
And I say "here's your two, you know, and here's your Devonshire cream". So she opens it up and, you know, puts it all over her French toast, spreads it all out, all right, cuts it, takes one bite... she looks at me like this. *blank dead-fish stare* And she looks and me and she goes "...... Oh no." I said "Whaaat?" And she looks down...... and she looks back at me. Just like this, not saying a word. And I'm trying to figure out in my head, what *wheezy laugh* what is happening?
IT WASN'T DEVONSHIRE CREAM.
They had included sour cream as our side condiments in these little packets, and the sour cream and the Devonshire cream looked *exactly the same*. So we thought we had two containers of Devonshire cream when in reality it was sour cream. So she had smeared sour cream all over French - sweet French toast and fruit. And you know, when you wait an extra hour to get your food, and it comes super late, right? You basically wanna cry. Seriously, like, what are you gonna do? You're an adult, you're not gonna sit there and throw shit and scream, makes you want to fuckin' cry, upset! So I tried to, I was like "Honey, I'munna fix this." And I grabbed a bunch of paper towels, I start blotting. Right? And the more I blot, the more the sour cream is now spreading out even further and just *wheezy laugh* making the biggest, most disgusting mess you've ever seen.
And ladies and gentlemen, I will take the blame for this, and here's why. *lip smacking intensifies from here onward* I'm the one who took the condiments out of the bag, I'm the one who separated them and said "this is butter and this must be the Devonshire cream". I'M THE ONE who put the creams down in front of my wife and sh- you know, she trusted that I knew what I was doing.

I think here we have a real "Window Into Hell" on Kat's psyche, as it was once famously put.
She ruins her food, has a mental short-circuit, and then "you basically wanna cry" and Phil is running around trying to fix things for his "honey". Sounds to me like Kat was the one crying or about to cry, and Phil clearly feels like he's something like a babysitter. That whole "my fault" thing sounds like something he was saying to Kat to console her.

This all sheds light on just how slow and fragile Kat really is, and what their relationship must be like. Thoughts?
 
So can we talk about the Sour Cream Incident? I transcribed it for everyone's convenience:


I think here we have a real "Window Into Hell" on Kat's psyche, as it was once famously put.
She ruins her food, has a mental short-circuit, and then "you basically wanna cry" and Phil is running around trying to fix things for his "honey". Sounds to me like Kat was the one crying or about to cry, and Phil clearly feels like he's something like a babysitter. That whole "my fault" thing sounds like something he was saying to Kat to console her.

This all sheds light on just how slow and fragile Kat really is, and what their relationship must be like. Thoughts?
Remember this is Phil telling the story so iffy source at best.

But if only 50% is accurate, Jesus Christ. Then she should be in some sort of group home....well a propper one, not the ad hoc one she's at right now.

I know Phil is a fucking hermit retard, but how the fuck can't he grasp how this story makes Khet and himself look?
 
Remember this is Phil telling the story so iffy source at best.
It all sounds real to me, I don't think he pulled things like "you want to cry" out of nowhere. Big Dick Burnell doesn't cry, he puts people on BLAST. (RIP Burger King)

If he made up the story Kat would have said "This tastes like donkey shit. It tastes like a literal donkey came along, dropped its pants, and dropped a huge steaming pile of feces on my French toast."
 
Re-read that sentence where he said "you want to cry": He wasn't saying how he thought Kat felt he was saying "you want to cry" as in most people would be that upset after waiting an hour for food. All I'm getting from that story is that Phil thinks it is normal to throw a hissy fit over what sounds like ruined delivery IHOP and made a complete ass of himself trying to help. To be fair I do believe Phil is that spoiled but also that inept when it comes to food. French toast with sour cream also sounds like it might work if one wanted to cut down on the sweetness.

The last bit where he steps in to save his pet woman is trademark DSP fabrication if you ask me, he steps in because he's the serious mature adult only to end up in something that sounds exactly like something from "How I Met Your Mother" or any other tacky sitcom.

I know Phil is a fucking hermit retard, but how the fuck can't he grasp how this story makes Khet and himself look?
Because he's realized that his retard viewers just. don't. care. I don't think there has ever been a time in Phil's life where he had friends or coworkers he respected enough to consider them role models or even cared about their opinion enough to change his attitude, but we've all seen him at least try to act clean and professional when money was on the line. Now that he's realized most small donors and all the giga-whales who actually keep him financially stable don't care (or enjoy the drama in OIC's case) he has no reason not to be a twat on streams. It's not like he ever cared about it for the viewers' sake after all.
 
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So can we talk about the Sour Cream Incident? I transcribed it for everyone's convenience:


I think here we have a real "Window Into Hell" on Kat's psyche, as it was once famously put.
She ruins her food, has a mental short-circuit, and then "you basically wanna cry" and Phil is running around trying to fix things for his "honey". Sounds to me like Kat was the one crying or about to cry, and Phil clearly feels like he's something like a babysitter. That whole "my fault" thing sounds like something he was saying to Kat to console her.

This all sheds light on just how slow and fragile Kat really is, and what their relationship must be like. Thoughts?

Remember this is Phil telling the story so iffy source at best.

But if only 50% is accurate, Jesus Christ. Then she should be in some sort of group home....well a propper one, not the ad hoc one she's at right now.

I know Phil is a fucking hermit retard, but how the fuck can't he grasp how this story makes Khet and himself look?

This is the Burnell's Kat paradox. A story told by DSP about Kat may be considered both a complete lie and demonstrative of how dumb and pilled out Kat is simultaneously.
 
This is the Burnell's Kat paradox. A story told by DSP about Kat may be considered both a complete lie and demonstrative of how dumb and pilled out Kat is simultaneously.
It really is. This is entirely speculation and not something I can back up at all, but I have started to question if some of the dumb food related things that Kat does are actually Phil doing it. His ego won't let him admit to making mistakes, especially since he knows he'd be mocked, but he thinks these stories are hilarious, in the same vein of him getting giddy when he spilled water on himself. If it happened in a way where he could have blamed Kat, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd run to talk about it on prestream, saying she was the one who spilled the water and how hilarious it was, while also making himself look like a good guy by saying he swooped in with a towel to be the hero.

The reason I think it, besides Phil's natural inclination towards lying, is his inability to tell convincing lies. A lot of the times, it seems to be a case of "Khet just stood there." I give Khet a lot of grief for being simple, but even I think that's a little too far. To me, it reads like Phil lacking creativity with his lie/not having enough human interaction to know how someone would actually act. So he just makes Khet sounds like an NPC in the game, doing nothing while he has to swoop in. It stood out more to me in the garbage disposal incident, where Khet supposedly put the bones in and then just stood there not doing anything until Phil turned it off.

My first thought was, Phil put it in the disposal because he's too stupid to remove the bones, then he realized his mistake and turned it off. And because he lives an empty hermit lifestyle, he thought this was hilarious or exciting or who knows what and needed to be retold. Or maybe it was supposed to be a criticism against Indian food, since we know Phil gets upset when food is on a bone, he wants to relax when he eats, not do work. I'd assume that applies for throwing stuff out as well.

It's tough to say, because based on her stream experiences, she really was just sitting there not doing anything, but I always chalked that up to her not wanting to be on stream so she was just really out of it thinking about playing Skyrim or whatever. I don't think Khet is capable of living alone, but she can at least handle working a minimum wage job and managed to get up to Seattle, even if Phil was paying for stuff. She has to have at least *some* level of reaction beyond just blankly sitting there.

Some of the reactions also seem more like things Phil would do. Crying over food? That's definitely strikes me as being more of a Phil thing then Khet. Given how content she was with potato based meals, it doesn't seem like she has nearly the same level of respect for robust flavors that DSP does. I'd actually believe it more if Phil said Khet accidentally put sour cream on, but ate the whole thing anyway and didn't realize until after she was done. But it's also possible Phil just sucks at telling stories, and the stories he tells are so boring as it is that it makes it feel like it has to be some sort of lie.
 
So can we talk about the Sour Cream Incident? I transcribed it for everyone's convenience:


I think here we have a real "Window Into Hell" on Kat's psyche, as it was once famously put.
She ruins her food, has a mental short-circuit, and then "you basically wanna cry" and Phil is running around trying to fix things for his "honey". Sounds to me like Kat was the one crying or about to cry, and Phil clearly feels like he's something like a babysitter. That whole "my fault" thing sounds like something he was saying to Kat to console her.

This all sheds light on just how slow and fragile Kat really is, and what their relationship must be like. Thoughts?
The part where Phil says 'You're an adult, so you can't throw a shitty baby tantrum like you want to. What are you going to do? You want to cry.'

No Phil, I'm an adult. You just illustrated that you are an adult baby.
I would just eat it. It's just sour cream. It's cream that tastes slightly tangy. I would just shrug my shoulders and say 'I guess I'm having sweet and sour French Toast today, and I will remember in the future that you are an absolute retard who ruins everything. It was my fault for forgetting what a useless dumbass you are.'

Also I like how Phil is such an autistic narcissist he assumes his wife was just frozen like a retarded deer in headlights and not absolutely fuming that he ruined her food and staring daggers at him.
 
Beyond crazy the amount of times this guy admits that he and his wife get food, and his paytards still don't put two and two together and stop supporting. Unreal tbh.
 
The reason I think it, besides Phil's natural inclination towards lying, is his inability to tell convincing lies. A lot of the times, it seems to be a case of "Khet just stood there."
I am leaning toward believing it, because Phil can't keep his lies straight. If he was lying about the "brain freezes" he wouldn't remember to keep lying about it.

Did I imagine this or does anybody remember the details?
That was the incident with the bones in the garbage disposal.
 
I remember a while ago DSP saying kat turned the garbage disposal on with a fork in it by accident then sat blankly staring at the sink like a retard not doing anything. Seems like Kat is a genuine slow in the mind whenever anything even slightly unexpected happens. Did I imagine this or does anybody remember the details?
I remember that too. I’m really confused that Phil would bring up these stories at all. He acts like he has to keep all this information private but the little bit that leaks out is about how his wife is a vegetable. And he never talks about his own retarded moments this way either. It’s like he’s trying to shame her or something,
 
I remember that too. I’m really confused that Phil would bring up these stories at all. He acts like he has to keep all this information private but the little bit that leaks out is about how his wife is a vegetable. And he never talks about his own retarded moments this way either. It’s like he’s trying to shame her or something,
It's his narcissism and holier than thou attitude that makes him recount these stories like this. When he puts down his swim suit model fantastic cook of a "wife", he can't help himself from saying stuff like that about other people, putting them down, whilst making Phil seem like he's an expert at everything.
 
So can we talk about the Sour Cream Incident? I transcribed it for everyone's convenience:


I think here we have a real "Window Into Hell" on Kat's psyche, as it was once famously put.
She ruins her food, has a mental short-circuit, and then "you basically wanna cry" and Phil is running around trying to fix things for his "honey". Sounds to me like Kat was the one crying or about to cry, and Phil clearly feels like he's something like a babysitter. That whole "my fault" thing sounds like something he was saying to Kat to console her.

This all sheds light on just how slow and fragile Kat really is, and what their relationship must be like. Thoughts?
I mean tbf, she grew up in a fucked up situation. Shes now apart of the truman show with DSP and her sister has been literally fucked by detractors. Meanwhile her mom wants to exorcise the demons outta her.

I feel sorry for her more then anything. Phil wanted to turn a crazy broken girl into a housewife youre gonna have some problems you just gotta deal with along the way. Its not like they live a normal lifestyle. He doesnt invite friends over or her friends over or do bbqs or even want to have a real family with kids n settle down. He wanted a house-toy named “wife”. Or a mom. Whichever comes first
 
I am leaning toward believing it, because Phil can't keep his lies straight. If he was lying about the "brain freezes" he wouldn't remember to keep lying about it.
Oh, I don't think he keeps lying about the brain freezes because he's trying to keep a consistent narrative about Khet. I think he's just so bad at lying/storytelling and he doesn't think his stories through that as he's telling it, he realizes he needs to say Khet's reaction, but he can't think of anything in the moment so it defaults to "Khet was just standing there."

There are some other possibilities, which is why I wanted to make it clear I'm solely speculating. Khet could be responding in a way even Phil knows is embarrassing and wants to save face so people don't have more ammo to say he married a retard. Phil is so selfish he doesn't really pay attention to/remember what Khet did so he defaults to she just exists. Heck, the whole thing could even be a lie and this was Phil trying to find a reason to bitch about takeout food that includes bones, since that's apparently a huge pet peeve of his. Some of the details just strike me as weird, but again, it could be due to the fact that Phil gets increasingly worse at talking the longer he lives in his hermit hut.

With the bones in the disposal story, does anyone remember if it was a case of Phil heard it and went to investigate, or was it that he just happened to go in the kitchen to throw out his leftovers and Khet just happened to be using the garbage disposal at the same time? If it's the later, I'd point to that as possible evidence that Phil was the one who did it.
 
So can we talk about the Sour Cream Incident?
Yes. It's a lie. He doesn't have a life or anything to talk about so he has to make shit up. see: all the silent majority emails he allegedly gets but has to paraphrase instead of reading them
It all sounds real to me, I don't think he pulled things like "you want to cry" out of nowhere.
He pulled the crying bs when he got departnered.
It really is. This is entirely speculation and not something I can back up at all, but I have started to question if some of the dumb food related things that Kat does are actually Phil doing it.
It's his MO
 
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