Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%

  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%

  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%

  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%
  • Total voters
    626
Phil saddled the wrong horse if he thinks she will not bolt from the stable to find herself a new stallion with better offerings. So it was with Subaruman, so it will be with Goutman
 
Since it's confirmed that Kat works a whopping 0.5 miles away from the condo, why doesn't she just ride a bike to and from work? For the amount of money that Phil is spending on that stupid car (that they barely drive) every month, Phil could have bought Kat a really nice bike. They live right next to Seattle for fucks sake, I'm sure tons of people are riding their bikes around in the area so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary or anything. A mile of bike riding is much more exercise than Kat would get from driving. Put a basket on it and have her bring home the groceries. Maybe there's a sale on something good and Kat wants to cook it for dinner. An added bonus would be Phil gets to spend more quality time with Kat on his designated day off if she gets the groceries. Oh wait, that all sounds like perfectly reasonable, normal things to do, so of course the two mega autists couldn't possible do that. Phil must oversee the grocery shopping, can't let Kat bring home potatoes again. Phil has to give the impression he's super busy with errands during his day off and he must stick to the weekly food schedule. They could make their lives so much simpler and more satisfying with just a few easy changes, as it stands now they are barely functional.
 
Kermit the Frog said:
Since it's confirmed that Kat works a whopping 0.5 miles away from the condo, why doesn't she just ride a bike to and from work? For the amount of money that Phil is spending on that stupid car (that they barely drive) every month, Phil could have bought Kat a really nice bike. They live right next to Seattle for fucks sake, I'm sure tons of people are riding their bikes around in the area so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary or anything. A mile of bike riding is much more exercise than Kat would get from driving. Put a basket on it and have her bring home the groceries. Maybe there's a sale on something good and Kat wants to cook it for dinner. An added bonus would be Phil gets to spend more quality time with Kat on his designated day off if she gets the groceries. Oh wait, that all sounds like perfectly reasonable, normal things to do, so of course the two mega autists couldn't possible do that. Phil must oversee the grocery shopping, can't let Kat bring home potatoes again. Phil has to give the impression he's super busy with errands during his day off and he must stick to the weekly food schedule. They could make their lives so much simpler and more satisfying with just a few easy changes, as it stands now they are barely functional.
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As it was theorized earlier, if Phil threatens or removes any of her luxuries, he knows that she will leave him.

Asking her to work more, wanting to sell the gout palace and move somewhere more modest, wanting to take away the car, those all threaten Kat's lifestyle of barely working and playing vidya all day while the gout father takes care of everything. Since Phil has nothing else to offer but money, if that goes away Kat no longer has a reason to stay. Divorce, take half his shit, move in with Jim, repeat.

Honestly Phil's probably already on thin ice for having to downgrade to a new Corolla. Taking away the car altogether would be unthinkable. His gouty hands tremble in fear at the thought.
 
Honestly, I don't get the pages of discussion on why Phil owns a car. His wife drives it to work, and yeah it's not that far but it's nice to have a car. Most people making $100K or more a year can easily afford a basic car. The issue is he pisses away money on mobile games, interest on 13 credit cards and loans, a mortgage he doesn't pay, and huge penalties for never paying anything on time. When I look at the list of things Phil wastes money on, a car is about 50th down the list.
 
strandedcastaway said:
His wife drives it to work, and yeah it's not that far but it's nice to have a car.
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Well he doesn't have to drive to work, and he bought it before Kat was around. Also he wants brownie points because he economically downgraded to buying a brand new car.
Leanna works full time now, has a longer than a half mile commute and takes public transportation because she's not too good for it. Kat could really help herself by working off some of that mashed potato jiggle by walking half a mile to work.
 
strandedcastaway said:
Honestly, I don't get the pages of discussion on why Phil owns a car. His wife drives it to work, and yeah it's not that far but it's nice to have a car. Most people making $100K or more a year can easily afford a basic car. The issue is he pisses away money on mobile games, interest on 13 credit cards and loans, a mortgage he doesn't pay, and huge penalties for never paying anything on time. When I look at the list of things Phil wastes money on, a car is about 50th down the list.
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a 5 minute walk or paying bills

I know which I would choose
 
strandedcastaway said:
Honestly, I don't get the pages of discussion on why Phil owns a car. His wife drives it to work, and yeah it's not that far but it's nice to have a car. Most people making $100K or more a year can easily afford a basic car. The issue is he pisses away money on mobile games, interest on 13 credit cards and loans, a mortgage he doesn't pay, and huge penalties for never paying anything on time. When I look at the list of things Phil wastes money on, a car is about 50th down the list.
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Aside from the houses and bmw lease it's the only identifiable debt he has. It gives us a window into Phil's shitty financial decision making and therefor is huge talking point. He bought a $20,000 car to drive less that 2000 miles a year when almost any used car would have been a better option. Its not as dumb as getting a $250,000+ mortgage for a house on the other side of the country while still owing over $100,000 on a mortgage and paying thousands to move all your shit with you, but its still dumb nonetheless.
 
strandedcastaway said:
Honestly, I don't get the pages of discussion on why Phil owns a car. His wife drives it to work, and yeah it's not that far but it's nice to have a car. Most people making $100K or more a year can easily afford a basic car. The issue is he pisses away money on mobile games, interest on 13 credit cards and loans, a mortgage he doesn't pay, and huge penalties for never paying anything on time. When I look at the list of things Phil wastes money on, a car is about 50th down the list.
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The dude who constantly tells everyone he's more fiscally responsible than everyone else is going to eat shit on every single financial incongruity found when everyone begins looking at how fiscally irresponsible he is. Buying more car than you need is stupid.
 
Didn't Leanna use the car first?

Besides he lives in the suburbs, cars are generally useful things to have.

Its less that he owns a car and more that he has one thats too expensive for his needs. Which sums up the majority of Phil's problems.
 
strandedcastaway said:
Honestly, I don't get the pages of discussion on why Phil owns a car. His wife drives it to work, and yeah it's not that far but it's nice to have a car. Most people making $100K or more a year can easily afford a basic car. The issue is he pisses away money on mobile games, interest on 13 credit cards and loans, a mortgage he doesn't pay, and huge penalties for never paying anything on time. When I look at the list of things Phil wastes money on, a car is about 50th down the list.
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So Phil can't afford a car then. He pissed away so much money on useless crap does he really deserve useful things. I mean sure nice to have, but for Phil is it needed no he doesn't/barely drives. Though it's not like he could ride a bike dies just walking around. So the only reason is so Kat stays.
 
Providence Backing_21 said:
So Phil can't afford a car then. He pissed away so much money on useless crap does he really deserve useful things. I mean sure nice to have, but for Phil is it needed no he doesn't/barely drives. Though it's not like he could ride a bike dies just walking around. So the only reason is so Kat stays.
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No, he can afford a car, and he can even afford a $24k 2017 Corolla. The problem is his financial irresponsibility in every other aspect of his life and that he could've gone with an even cheaper option since he barely uses the car as it is. Buying a Corolla when you're making around or over six figures is actually a pretty reasonable thing; so is having an $1800/mo mortgage.

It's all the other shit that doesn't make sense.
 
strandedcastaway said:
Honestly, I don't get the pages of discussion on why Phil owns a car. His wife drives it to work, and yeah it's not that far but it's nice to have a car. Most people making $100K or more a year can easily afford a basic car. The issue is he pisses away money on mobile games, interest on 13 credit cards and loans, a mortgage he doesn't pay, and huge penalties for never paying anything on time. When I look at the list of things Phil wastes money on, a car is about 50th down the list.
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Not trying to dogpile on you, but I wanted to share my perspective on this because I think you missed the point that I think it's shared by most people here.

It's not the fact he has a car. It's not even about the kind of car he has. I think everyone, including Phil should own a reliable, affordable car for a bunch of reasons. And if I'm being entirely honest, buying a Corolla in lieu of something like a BMW is probably one of the most humble and human things Phil has ever done.

It's the fact that he bought this car brand new, having to take out a loan with ungodly steep interest in order to take it off the lot. Someone earlier in the thread figured out that Phil is going to be paying somewhere around $36,000 for that car, which new was worth about $20,000. Might as well just buy a Beamer at that point.

The issue with the car is: why the hell would he buy something like that when it's being driven less than two miles a day? He could have accomplished the exact same thing by buying a mid-size sedan between 2005-2015 for $3,000-$10,000. Hell he could have bought a 1980s Accord for a couple hundred bones and it'd have the same result. And yes, god damn I really want a gold 1989 Accord, thanks for asking.

His justification is a classic car salesman's trap: "buying it new is better because this ultra-reliable car will hold it's value over time." Although that's true, it's more accurate to say that this car will depreciate much less in value than the average car in terms of mileage, but it will still depreciate the same as every other car in value in terms of time. The way that someone could take advantage of the reliability of a new car like this would be to buy it new, drive it 50,000 miles per year, and still be able to sell it for a decent price years later when it's near the 200,000 mile point.

For someone like Phil this doesn't really matter because he drives it so little, but the car salesman sure isn't going to tell him that. Even if he drove it 10x as much, Phil's needs could have been met for less than 20% the cost. Easily. But then Kat might have left him for making her drive a used car to work.

You are correct, though. This is not the primary concern with Phil's finances. His mortgages, taxes, CCs, and rasslers dwarf his car in terms of urgency.

It's pretty amazing to think that even when Phil does the right thing, against all odds he still manages to colossally fuck it up.
 
strandedcastaway said:
When I look at the list of things Phil wastes money on, a car is about 50th down the list.
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Sure, but many of the other 49 things aren't a waste that he could really stop because the damage is done. The car was a new (back in 2017) decision that could have been avoided and would have saved him like 6 grand a year. He'd have $15K saved up by now if he and Kat had used their feet all this time.
 
GnomeofDoc said:
Didn’t know where to post this but, QFC is a supermarket local to the Seattle area and is owned by Kroger. So Kat is either with Fred or QFC.
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Pretty sure one of the spergs in here found an employment record for Kat that said she worked at Fred Meyer store 31, which is like half a mile from the Gout Castle.

I'm too lazy to look up and repost the evidence though. Might be in the bankruptcy thread
 
Gotta Groom Em All said:
Pretty sure one of the spergs in here found an employment record for Kat that said she worked at Fred Meyer store 31, which is like half a mile from the Gout Castle.

I'm too lazy to look up and repost the evidence though. Might be in the bankruptcy thread
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I gotchu.

SoapQueen1 said:
The person who found this wanted to be anonymous, but apparently Kroger/Fred Meyer has an internal staff directory. This doesn't surprise me.
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