Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%

  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%

  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%

  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%
  • Total voters
    626
Cistern Rumbler said:
A honeymoon to Disney Land... god what a fucking fag. Not that they deserve better.
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Phil would go to Disneyland and go on zero rides because of his back, and visit every restaurant. In reality, it's not a theme park for children at all, they serve alcohol!
 
SauceRyuKen said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=FnP5snuxP3s
Found one of them. The flashing mid-stream seems hard to get a hold of but maybe it'll appear around. Regardless, OH MY LORD this is bad. Mostly undressed Panda jumping around the suite, making faces and at one point jumping into the bath and making that "Look at my legs and boobs" pose. She gets in bed giggling at one point. Face up, arms outside the sheets. Couldn't scream ready for action any louder.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=uKT4f_u7sNQ
Abrasive personality and all, imagine being 10 years younger than your partner, significantly hotter, clearly making yourself available for him... And he just goes ahead and ignores your needs in favor of rocking autistically around a suite with a camcorder. I think Phil wants to be in that place where his partner wants him and he can be the one to say no, but even if and when his partner wants him, he really seems to have no interest in sex. Hell, he even speaks noticeably louder at the end of the recording to announce that "I don't know if we're gonna record any more, WE'RE TIRED." Was the guy trying to excuse himself out of sex with Leanna? And in such an unpleasant way, too. Panda must have felt so dejected and unwanted back then. Phil's just a fucking asshole even to his closest friends and lovers.

Fascinating for all the wrong reasons as usual, Phil. Same thing with Kat. He wants her to parade around, but doesn't care about her other than as a LARPing beard. In spite of being clearly a Panda downgrade, she's probably a better fit, since she only cares about his open wallet. That is mostly why I feel the divorce arc is inevitable. Yeah, her brain was clearly popped out of the oven before it was fully done, but she's shown enough self preservation instincts to trade a much better partner on normal human terms in favor of Phil, who just had more money. She already monkey branched from Jeff to Phil for personal gain. I think knowing when to cut the dead weight and just collect alimony won't be above her processing power when the time comes. And come, it will. She's fundamentally selfish much like Phil is. A better person would have at least ended things amicably with Subaru-kun, not waited to get caught and kicked the fuck out. There's proper ways for everything, even for cheating.
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I wasn't around the farms when Phil was still dating Leanna. I can see that she was annoying as fuck and always wanted to attract attention.

But holy shit was she way out of Phil's league, looks-wise. The fact that Phil wasn't fulfilling her needs when they dated is the only solid evidence of Phil's closeted homosexuality/asexuality that actually makes me go "Hmm, maybe that's not just a meme...".
 
DZoomer said:
I wasn't around the farms when Phil was still dating Leanna. I can see that she was annoying as fuck and always wanted to attract attention.

But holy shit was she way out of Phil's league, looks-wise. The fact that Phil wasn't fulfilling her needs when they dated is the only solid evidence of Phil's closeted homosexuality/asexuality that actually makes me go "Hmm, maybe that's not just a meme...".
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Oh, then you simply HAVE TO see the clip where Leanna starts shit talking Phil while he's playing Near A Tomato, if you haven't already.
Her frustration was probably amplified because Dave rather spent time playing a game with Yorha 2Butt's massive butt and wide hips (even though she probably didn't give Phil a stiffy since she's not an oiled-up muscleman) than give a shit about Leanna. It's even more hilarious in context too, since this happened just before the fake engagement and then the REEEEEmergency that made Leanna finally completely break from her pignosis and leave the Snort Fort.
 
A honeymoon to Disneyland? If it weren't Phil, I would automatically assume that was some sarcastic shit, because on top of the place not being terribly romantic (best you can get is watching the fireworks go off over Cinderella's Castle, which is still far more appropriate for a date than a honeymoon), it's inappropriately expensive. $100 per person. Last time I was there a whole family got in for less than that, and it still felt like we were getting a bit shafted. Pigroach didn't look that up before making that comment, I guarantee it, and as soon as he finds out, those plans are canceled if they haven't been already (either for some other reason or because the park is closed for awhile).

I almost feel bad for Khet, it can't feel good, even when you're dumb, to realize that the best you can do is a fat hairy slimeball with no ambitions who spends way more on wrestling jpegs than he ever will on you.
 
twattycake said:
Probably. Her body language on stream wasn't just "not affectionate", it was "actively dislikes physical contact". It might be autism, it might be other mental issues, there might be more to the demon possession story than what we know, but if she's that nervous about people touching her then she's going to be terrified of sex even if she wants it.
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I think there are two reason for her not being comfortable with Phil touching her,she didn't even want to give him a kiss she just gave him a kiss on the cheek,if you girlfriend won't even kiss you then you are a cuck. I think its both that she is not attracted to Phil as a person because he is a manchild autist with a terrible personality and she is not attracted physically to him.

I have the theory that people who are fat and ugly employ pignosis on themselves to like disgusting ugly fatties because thats the only sex they will ever get, maybe because Kat is thin she has not pignosed herself into feeling physical attraction to Phil. Phil is hideous, very ugly face with a double chin and no chin or cheekbones at all, balding, zero muscle mass in his entire body and he is also obese,on top of that hideous body add the fact that its impossible to feel attracted to his personality or energy. What kind of woman would look at Phil in an intimate setting and get wet? He must also be shit at bed since he is in terrible shape and has the tism so he his physically inept on top of being out of shape, I showed a video on the main thread where he was playing a dancing game and had to do hip thrusts and instead of doing that he jumped back and forth moving his arms, he is too exceptional to have sex since he can't even move his hips.

I'm sure that if panda lee new boyfriend touched her or asked for a kiss she wouldn't react the same way she did with Phil.

TheGoutburglar said:
A honeymoon to Disneyland? If it weren't Phil, I would automatically assume that was some sarcastic shit, because on top of the place not being terribly romantic (best you can get is watching the fireworks go off over Cinderella's Castle, which is still far more appropriate for a date than a honeymoon), it's inappropriately expensive. $100 per person. Last time I was there a whole family got in for less than that, and it still felt like we were getting a bit shafted. Pigroach didn't look that up before making that comment, I guarantee it, and as soon as he finds out, those plans are canceled if they haven't been already (either for some other reason or because the park is closed for awhile).

I almost feel bad for Khet, it can't feel good, even when you're dumb, to realize that the best you can do is a fat hairy slimeball with no ambitions who spends way more on wrestling jpegs than he ever will on you.
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Taking your wife to Disney for your honeymoon is ultimate soy. The only reason he wouldn't take his nintendo switch with him is because he can't play wwe champions on it.
 
Freshtodeath said:
Room rates for that suite are 114 night which seems cheap but maybe those are covid prices. Phil has claimed a honeymoon will happen probably to disney land but so far hasn't delivered.
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He's mentioned it once or twice since the bankruptcy ruling that supposedly freed him from all that debt (never mind that he was already blowing money like a madman as soon as he met with the attorney in late 2019) and in his own telling turned down a few thousand dollars from his parents for a honeymoon back in 2019.

Even if you don't believe that second part (I don't, or at least I believe there's more to the story) he's had additional money coming in for about a year or even a year and a half if we're counting from when he defaulted on the Connecticut property. So he's had the cash flow for about a year, we're about six months out from the official discharge, and it's only come up in segments where he's trying to beat us dang dirty trolls (post bankruptcy and Thanksgiving streams). At this point "We're totally going on a honeymoon to Disneyland" is Phil's serious adult version of his old claim that he was engaged to a smoking hot woman he was totally fucking every night in one of his FGC argument threads, just another lie to win Internet slapfights.

EDIT: Even if I'm wrong and he actually does want a honeymoon, the assets from his bankruptcy forms + the WWE gacha reveal confirm he's absolutely incapable of letting money sit in his bank account. A Disneyland trip would probably be a few thousand dollars when you factor in airfare + lodging + food + the park itself and he simply does not have that level of self-restraint.
 
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TheGoutburglar said:
I almost feel bad for Khet, it can't feel good, even when you're dumb, to realize that the best you can do is a fat hairy slimeball with no ambitions who spends way more on wrestling jpegs than he ever will on you.
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It's probably not so bad being chained to a boulder when all you want to do is eat potatoes and play casualpleb vidya. She probably doesn't even have to put out, and can go to the Jim gym whenever she feels like it.
 
SauceRyuKen said:
About money and Kat, I think this is more or less the situation they're in: As far as Phil goes, he's got me to say out loud "This guy can not possibly be this dumb/bad at games/shit with his money" or whatever and usually I have been proven wrong. I turned out to be right about there being a mod discord after all, but back then, Vidar said Phil had no communication with his mods. I think this somewhat proves that Phil will be more transparent with people in the inner circle now, if only to some degree. That should include Kat. Although Phil has gone on record saying that Kat has her own debts and issues, which may be an incredibly roundabout way of saying "We have separate accounts."
For a couple years we had Actually analyzing Phil's income and he was pretty much spot on with it. So Kat knows how much Phil makes if she has so much as come here to read up on us calling her a zombie raccoon or whatever the insult du jour was. It's been said before, but for Kat, Phil was nothing but an improvement over her situation. Some bankrupt conman who will probably not do jailtime is better than a hard working dude if all you care about is money. And of course, let's not forget: Kat has a criminal record and is on happy pills. Both of them can't really do much better than each other, but Phil could easily get a much hotter gold digger if he tried.

I don't know if Kat is about as dumb as a rock or what, but I figure she can understand Actually's analysis mostly because it was VERY easy to understand even if you were a math thickie. Much like Phil, if she somehow eventually proves that she really IS that dumb, I'll be flabbergasted. Of course, it's not impossible.

In short, this year has been great for Phil. He's out of debt and gets to keep more of the money he makes; this is one of the bigger reasons he's cranked up the begging to 11. We know he's still whaling on gacha, so that and takeout is where the money goes. We know he treats Kat to meals a lot, and bought her some basic stuff as well as some entertainment related things. It's ironic, but I honestly think Phil spends more money on gacha than on Kat. Making himself a victim of the same "Why don't you just blow your stacks on an e-whore who will at least do stuff to herself for you" paradox that his paypigs suffer from.

As for love and the relationship being on, it's impossible. Phil has made a couple of attempts at saying Kat was REALLY hot. "She could be a swimsuit mahdel", Phil told us. "I'm really lucky to be with her." Hilariously, this was before we saw her. The collective laughing fit that was had on kiwi and detractor chats alike nuked Darksy's ego and made Kat ghost the internet. When she had potato'd out and appeared as a witch for Halloween, there was another collective pants-shitting laughter fit, Kat ghosted us for good and it was Tevin's (and his shithead fanbase's) fault. To be fair, there was a lot of chat about how ugly she was and how she was getting blacked in a yellow thong caw, but nothing really too terrible. Being a streamer's girlfriend is a rough situation where even legitimately charming people earn some ire from the public. A 7/10 hottie who had recently started talking shit to one of the thinnest skinned people on the internet was a pretty tough act to follow, and for all the talk of change and maturing Dark did even back then, Leanna actually grew out of being an annoying She-Fadil into her own person, and even on her channel, when she dropped the Darksy-style commentary, was far more bearable than he ever was. Kat was just bad at games, didn't even take the controller from Phil once, and had a boring, charismaless personality. Total winner on camera, people.

The interactions between Panda and Phil showed that she at least was interested in him for whatever reason. Phil really was a dead fish at the best of times, but Panda ocasionally leaned in close, touched him, and showed she was comfortable enough around him. Kat being an autismo makes her body language a bit tougher to read, but she mostly behaves around Phil like traumatized dogs do around humans. It looks like she's ready to try to dodge a kick to the snout at the drop of a dime. And to be real: "I'm really happy to be here with......... Phil." and the borderline flinching when he touches her, as well as the only kiss she gave him live being a completely chaste peck on the cheek, and her needing to mentally prepare before doing so HEAVILY implies they haven't even fucked once. That is not a couple that has been intimate. This is a big part of Phil's newlyfound Flanders-like opposition to sex, romance and intimacy. Sour grapes is really all it comes down to. My machoor adult horsemaid doesn't want to touch me, therefore anyone who touches, kisses, hugs or enjoys being close to their partner physically is an immature child. Pigroach luck didn't even manage to strike and even the Derichiest of wheelchairs called Kat out for what she was: A clear Panda downgrade in every sense.

To me, the final nail in the coffin of what Phil and Kat were all about were the marriage pictures. Phil bursting out of his prom suit, nice and alcohol bloated, looking very robust, sticking it to both us detractors and Pandaree since he married around the same time he pulled the last chance marriage attempt with Leanna. Kat giving her generic toothy smile, not really looking happy, but looking well fed. Makeup by Homer Simpson's shotgun, as usual. Shitty dress and rings from supposedly the mall. Met the parents and married at their house on pretty much the same weekend, then went for takeout. Her eyes say "Look at me ma, I nailed me an open wallet!" No squeezing each other, just a shoulder grab for the picture, not unlike the first stream Kat was on. No feeding each other cake. No dancing. No kiss picture. We haven't really talked in depth about just how much of a sham Phil's marriage is, but I figure it's about time we laid out a big analysis like this. Oh and Phil, if it makes you mad, prove me wrong and bring Kat out to do pass the controller streams with you. Or you can play A Way Out together. C'mon, dude, look happy and joyful and so. Maybe for the next big reveal stream you can introduce us to Tyrone if your wheelchairs hit the 3K tips goal.

EDITS: Wording and typos.
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That's been on my mind for a while. Whenever I think of any relationship in my life, family, friends, romantic, or even just working relationships, there's something to them. Like my dad and making threats on each others life in dumb alpha moves, telling my buddy I'm gonna tell his girl that he's gay and she's his beard, or how I'd let my ex win all our play-fighting/wrestling matches and joke that the 110llb when soaking wet chick could totally take me in a fight. With everything we see about how Phil handles his relationships, how the fuck does he expect anyone to buy that he can even form them? Nearest I've seen is he had some more natural chemistry with Rambo, but with literally anyone else, he's just so awkward and uncomfortable. No insult there, I'm massively uncomfortable and awkward around people. People I don' t know though, not women I'm dating, not friends I've had for years, not family that I've known my whole life. It's like an alien interacting with people.

The whole touching thing is so strange, since it's so performative. I've known people who were in romantic relationships where both partners just weren't all that touchy, people who had low sex-drives, or any other reason really. I don't see anything wrong with that, so long as everyone involved is cool with that, but the few times we've seen them together it's so fucking uncomfortable. Cause there's not even that feeling of we are comfortable together, we just aren't physically affectionate; Phil clearly doesn't know what she is cool with physically but is trying the very simple things that he's seen on T.V: arm wrapped across the back, resting hand on shoulder, and Kat looks super fucking uncomfortable with ANY of it.

I would love to pin Phil down on this and ask a very simple question: what is your favourite memory with Kat, and why is it that one? Everyone can look to their relationships, again regardless of the type and say oh my mom taught me to cook a family recipe, my buddy and I got picked up for a D&D on his 21st, my spouse and I took this trip where we did x-y-z. I would put money down he'd say wedding, cause what else does he have? One trip to the space needle? First Christmas together where he spent more time taking photos of the back of her head then hanging with her? Fuck, they don't even need to be big things, a fond memory I have with someone was literally just chilling on a couch, but I know the meaning it had to me then and now. And I write all this because I have no idea why or how he expects anyone to believe his bullshit. I'm not going to touch on the he's gay/asexual thing regardless of how much I totally buy that, I really want to find out what talk went on between them since I just can't imagine that marriage being anything other than a contractual thing that one or the other was made to sign for x-amount of years.

God I hope if I ever get married it's not this much of a sham.
 
Pre-covid Disneyland was literally elbow-to-elbow. If the park opens up again and he ends up visiting, its almost guaranteed that someone will recognize him.
 
Draventren said:
I really want to find out what talk went on between them since I just can't imagine that marriage being anything other than a contractual thing that one or the other was made to sign for x-amount of years.

God I hope if I ever get married it's not this much of a sham.
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Marriages that are little more than financial arrangements are quite common these days. I doubt their conversations went much beyond brief streaming and video game discussion, both of them bitching about how they're recently single (or willing to cheat) and Katherine probably whined about how poor she is with Subaru Man. Phil says I'll fly you out here and spend every penny I can on you. Job done, mature adult with wife.
 
Was Disneyland ever on Phil's list of honeymoon locations?

Sounds more like kats idea tbh, she never got a normal childhood if she wasn't t-posing for jesus or trying to break Jenna out of the closet maybe she just wants to go back to being a little girl in Disneyland.
 
darkwingosonichugorl said:
Marriages that are little more than financial arrangements are quite common these days. I doubt their conversations went much beyond brief streaming and video game discussion, both of them bitching about how they're recently single (or willing to cheat) and Katherine probably whined about how poor she is with Subaru Man. Phil says I'll fly you out here and spend every penny I can on you. Job done, mature adult with wife.
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Didn't he reel her in with talk of having a drinking problem?
 
darkwingosonichugorl said:
Marriages that are little more than financial arrangements are quite common these days. I doubt their conversations went much beyond brief streaming and video game discussion, both of them bitching about how they're recently single (or willing to cheat) and Katherine probably whined about how poor she is with Subaru Man. Phil says I'll fly you out here and spend every penny I can on you. Job done, mature adult with wife.
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I didn't mean that exactly. What I meant was, was there an instance of them sitting down at a table and putting together an agreement that this marriage would last for x amount of years, that Phil would provide y while Kat provides z. With how much a law retard he gets like, it wouldn't shock me if he did, or if Kat suggested it and he was super on board since now he can negotiate the smallest amounts he can do for the marriage to be agreeable to Kat.

I know marriages kinda are just that, but most people I know who have gotten married at least like the other person enough to want to spend most of their time in their company, I am so genuinely confused as to how he thinks anyone believes this marriage is anything but the most performative relationship that anyone has ever seen.

This train of thought also brings me to something else I'd been thinking about: I know we all toss around the mature adult(tm) line that he loves to bring up, but we also like to toss around the macho Italian east-coast stud(tm) that he tries to present as. This marriage has shot so many holes in both of those making him look like a child who doesn't understand relationships and at the same time the biggest whipped bitch on the internet. He would have been much better served if his ego was the most important thing to him by staying single. The only thing Kat brings is cooking, cleaning, maybe laundry and even then the little bits we've seen of the house and the food we've dug up, and the fact he only wears like 5 shirts tells me that she's not even doing that. The whole marriage is so fucking fascinating to me.
 
His ego is important, but Phil doesn't know that he could theoretically also look grown up by being a successful ladies man. He's too immature to be aware of that option, and besides that, what's even more important is having a replacement for his mother. That's what Khet is to him, or was.
 
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