Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%

  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%

  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%

  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%
  • Total voters
    626
If they ever make it to Super Mario World I hope Kat is prepared to be talked at in Phil's Mario impersonation voice the entire time.

I bet those losers will cosplay as Peach and Mario while they're there too.
 
You'd think Phil would want to visit the strap on hall of fame or Pudworld in San Francisco. They have a authentic replica of Hulk Hogans thermos sized dick and crotch you can sit on.
 
YokuNama said:
View attachment 2034180

This is where he want's to take his 30 year old wife for a honeymoon:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=K1W2i3AUe0k
A breeding ground for autism and obnoxious childrens.

That's your future once in a lifetime vacation under the Burnell name.
Click to expand...
The long term goal of a man who just declared bankruptcy, constantly begs for money and is one or two slow streams away from being bankrupt and losing the khando he lives in (because it's not his until it's all paid up) is to go to a fucking mario theme park.
 
Wasn't there some new "authentic" Mexican restaurant that the fat man was harping on a while back? I was thinking that could be Kat's new workplace.

Starting Earlier = get the autistic potato lady to cut onions for prep
New Wardrobe = Non-Slip shoes
Erratic Schedule = Schedule dictated by projected volume, more volatile than retail

With his recent rant(s) about "no jobs out there besides retail and food service" it stands to reason she fell into one or the other and the bitch is already confirmed to simp for Taco Bell.

Just got a hunch about this one
 
Nu11ptr said:
Wasn't there some new "authentic" Mexican restaurant that the fat man was harping on a while back? I was thinking that could be Kat's new workplace.

Starting Earlier = get the autistic potato lady to cut onions for prep
New Wardrobe = Non-Slip shoes
Erratic Schedule = Schedule dictated by projected volume, more volatile than retail

With his recent rant(s) about "no jobs out there besides retail and food service" it stands to reason she fell into one or the other and the bitch is already confirmed to simp for Taco Bell.

Just got a hunch about this one
Click to expand...
Her absolutely garbage demeanor would make her possibly the worst server or host ever. She'd be the real world equivalent of the completely disinterested employee ever. She'd never up sell anything, make minimal tips (which would immediately go to bills), and wouldn't really last in that particular industry. Some people can run a mean game and make bank bringing people poorly made sandwiches on spiffy plates if they have the right personality. She has the personality of a chunk of cardboard. She's not a server. For fast food? I could buy it, but she couldn't hack it up front dealing with the general customer base that shambles in to order stuff for crying kids in the Town & Country.

Needing a new wardrobe? A couple of different colored polos and 3 pairs of basic "dressy pants" is maybe 80 bucks. He certainly ain't hurting for a single shtreems worth of neetbux.

Erratic schedule: Once upon a time, I may or may not have been shagging a girl who was sorta higher in the totem pole of a grocery store franchise/company/whatever. On a good day, she just kinda meandered around and made sure shit ran smooth. On regular and bad days, she covered all the dipshits that did the classic no call no show. If Khet still with Fred(dy boy) Meyer, and she's being promoted, she's likely gonna have to do some extra dumb shit to make up for her $1.50 an hour increase with benefits. If she went to a different jahb, Phil is still out 80 bones for a scant few work outfits for work done on-call.

Whatever way you slice it, Khet works more than Phil to make insurmountably less than Phil only to contribute to Phil's oil addiction.
 
For those wondering if she's doing data entry, I'd bet that Khet's not working in an office - and I'm not a gambling man. From what I've seen of her on stream, she's exactly the sort of person I wouldn't want in an office, even if she does have basic IT skills. Those 'comfy' unskilled office jobs go to people with good social skills because it doesn't matter who sits in that chair and answers the phone, unless people hate them, in which case it certainly does.

Then again, I would have guessed prep cook but you need practical skills to do that, which I can almost guarantee Khet doesn't have. But then why would she leave her current supermarket for a different one? The autistic plot thickens.
 
He said she would be working shorter shifts. What job these days doesn't give you 8 hours?

I can't remember but I don't think in retail I had the same day off every week so I always thought it was weird she always got tuesdays off.
 
Ridin' On My Scootypuff said:
For those wondering if she's doing data entry, I'd bet that Khet's not working in an office - and I'm not a gambling man. From what I've seen of her on stream, she's exactly the sort of person I wouldn't want in an office, even if she does have basic IT skills. Those 'comfy' unskilled office jobs go to people with good social skills because it doesn't matter who sits in that chair and answers the phone, unless people hate them, in which case it certainly does.

Then again, I would have guessed prep cook but you need practical skills to do that, which I can almost guarantee Khet doesn't have. But then why would she leave her current supermarket for a different one? The autistic plot thickens.
Click to expand...

Kat is exactly the type of woman hired by generic, nondescript offices working on mundane products with a business strip mall office space to do generic work like AP processing where they just want someone boring who won't cause problems to key a couple hundred invoices a day.
 
Kat, you're doing such a great job and not complaining about how stupid the customers are and how you feel unsafe, we decided to give you a promotion! You'll now be coming in at the crack of dawn and working less hours! Hope you quit soon!

Love,
Mgmnt

p.s. Please wash your uniform or buy some new clothes
 
I might be ultra late on this so apologies up front, but was watching an old Tevin video and caught this:

(Timestamp should be at 2:51:38 )

DSP says that Kat probably already knows he lost his partnership because he Tweeted about it. Basically confirming what many of us have assumed, that Kat isn't off social media but rather is incognito.
 
Cistern Rumbler said:
I might be ultra late on this so apologies up front, but was watching an old Tevin video and caught this:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=yLMURcsqtnw:10298(Timestamp should be at 2:51:38 )

DSP says that Kat probably already knows he lost his partnership because he Tweeted about it. Basically confirming what many of us have assumed, that Kat isn't off social media but rather is incognito.
Click to expand...
LMAO! This clip makes me think back to the first time I ever saw dsp in his gamer chair in front of the computer. I legit thought it was a massager chair for weeks/months, because of the way it bounced up and down non stop. I remember thinking to myself, "dang, I should get one of those". And when I finally found out in another video that it was DSP's autism doing the rocking, I was in disbelief. It wasn't even funny at the time, I was just confused, like how does he do that so much?

Ahh, to be young and dumb again..
 
Here's DSP talking about people at Kat's work "getting hired for a job" and then trying to correct himself by talking about "switching" people "into this position".

 
There is no way Kat's schedule is so unpredictable that they can't schedule fucking basic errands. I thought she worked for a grocery chain or some shit, either that or some retail business. IDC if you're a key holder or a manager there is no way you're on call 24/7 forever. IF she is part-time (likely) then she probably wants to pick up shifts and in that sense then yes you kinda would be on call 24/7, but you could, you know, not accept the shift. I don't believe for a second that if she were to turn down one shift then that means she's in trouble with management. If she is full-time then there is no fucking way that she doesn't have at least one day off or cant schedule an additional day off. I highly doubt she is both full-time and picking up OT shifts since most stores would rather have a meth addict work a shift than pay anyone OT.

The idea of being unable to schedule an additional day off due to Kat' being a literal slave to some business is utter nonsense. It blows my mind that this is supposed to be an excuse for how hard his life is and how impossible it is to schedule anything. He could drive Kat to work one day and then have the car to do errands that day and pick Kat up at the end of the day. What possible errand do they need to do where both of them are required? This is just pig whistling and it seems to work so why not continue this retarded line of logic to siphon money out of whales. It's not like the degenerate retards care about what Phil says, does, or doesn't do, they just want to move up in rank in his cult.
 
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