Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

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Guess Kat's weight.

  • >200 lbs.

    Votes: 22 3.5%

  • 200 lbs.-250 lbs.

    Votes: 125 20.0%

  • 250 lbs.- 300 lbs.

    Votes: 110 17.6%

  • Damn that's a huge bitch.

    Votes: 369 58.9%
  • Total voters
    626
Here's my complete opinion on Khet, since I jumped on the Darksfadil train about the time she entered in his life and I've been recently watching Tevin's reactions to the streams DSP did with her.

Who is Khet?

Khet Burnell is DSP's full-time soulmaid and part-time department store employee. She comes from some trailer park somewhere, where her mom tried to do exorcism on her and her sister. The sister in question is some white trash bitch, albeit hotter than Khet, still some bitch I wouldn't get in 50m distance to from fear of airborne STDs.

Dark met Khet on the net, when she was asking some shit on Twitter and King Dark helped her with all her requests. From then, they had love on first tweet, and he flew her out shortly.

Why tf is Khet with DSP?

As with any trailer park racoon, Khet jumped at the first possibility of dating an internet celebrity. And if you ask me, it was, and it still is worth it (for her). She gets to live in a decent sized house, has her own playroom with a teeny tiny monitor to play Skyrim on, has the King of Gout at her disposal, and she knows she can fiddle with him any way she likes because for him, losing his "soulmate" would be the biggest victory for the haters (and we know that he exists to spite the haters).

Now, Khet is pretty dumb. From the date videos with her, and the Halloween marathon it is evident that she doesn't know much about anything. She's a fan of the kpop band BTS, but fails to understand any references that people in chat make. She has no opinions of anything whatsoever. She's basically the perfect maid for DSP.

However, I'd say Khet is street-smart. She knows the best ways to play with DSP to benefit the most - she barely goes to work, when a caring wife, who sees her husband in massive debt would work as much as possible to help out the family, she cooks freezer food, she gets to play vidya and live in a pretty decent home. She did have a boyfriend, whom she was leeching from before she moved in with DSP. There was even some overlap between these relationships. Khet knows she can't do much better than DSP, both financially and if you judge by looks.
She's a 5/10 at most, terrible at putting on makeup, has a bland personality, has mental illnesses (confirmed by Subaru Man), is generally pretty stupid, and has virtually no notable life experiences.

I suppose that she has DSP by the balls, from the accidental recording of DSP spilling water on himself and talking to her in the other room, where you could clearly hear quotes like "Finish your fucking stream", "I don't give a fuck", and others.

Khet also used to stream by herself, and didn't seem that good of a person (to me).

What tf does Khet even do?

It has been written in ancient texts that the holy horse goes to work 2-3 times a week, and outside of that sits in the gout castle and plays games. She has been described to us to have the capacity of an under-16-year-old person. She "helps out with the bills whenever she can", alleging she has her own funds, cleans and cooks some low effort meals.

She's been under fire by DSP a couple of times for cooking food that was bad or not listening to him when he was right (!!!).
DSP often tries to praise her and ends up seeming like he's talking about a teenager.
 
Look at Kat's expression when he mentions another woman. Big ups to Josh Poem on Twitter. Last time I saw a woman that pissed off, she had a knife in her hand.
 

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Scotty said:
Look at Kat's expression when he mentions another woman. Big ups to Josh Poem on Twitter. Last time I saw a woman that pissed off, she had a knife in her hand.
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One of my favorite clips, but to get the full effect you really have to zoom in on Kat's face as she goes from normal to seething with jealousy.

 
I wonder how much of that is from whatever bullshit Phil told her in private that that made-up story doesn't align with. Especially since Phil, clearly forgetting that the "crazy ex" is referring to the ex-bf who supposedly cut the water main because he was jealous of the polish potato being with his girl, is sounding scared of any mention of some past relationship he never mentioned to Katherine. I don't think he actually is afraid, though, because he obviously forgot how he told the story. He just sounds like it at first glance.

Still doesn't mean Katherine is a whip-cracker. Could very well be the beginning of her realization that cheating on Subaru Man was a big mistake, though, because in all ways but financial, Phil is a downgrade. Obviously she'll accept that, but it still doesn't feel good. People who do crack hate themselves to, after all, even as they keep doing crack. Phil is the guy too stupid to hate himself no matter what, and Katherine has to know that by now. Can't say how she handles it, but she has to know.
 
Pretty Boy Extremism said:
The irony of a cheating hoe getting mad and seething with jealousy at her soulpig talking about other girls :story:
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We don't know anything about Kat other than she is a cheater with personality of a box and seems to be low IQ,she might be an awful person just like Dave and she has no issues contradicting herself when it comes to her values but since she is not on the internet anymore we can't tell,maybe they are made for each other. In any case, remember how not long ago Phil tried talking to her about spilling water on himself and Kat told him "I DON' CARE, FINISH YOUR FUCKING STREAM!" , seeing how she doesn't give two shits about him and seems to hate his autistic ass I don't think she would have the same reaction anymore.
 
Funko Pops NFT collector said:
In any case, remember how not long ago Phil tried talking to her about spilling water on himself and Kat told him "I DON' CARE, FINISH YOUR FUCKING STREAM!" , seeing how she doesn't give two shits about him and seems to hate his autistic ass I don't think she would have the same reaction anymore.
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Ok, but if you listen back to that conversation Phil was being a massive baby about it, as he usually is, making a way bigger deal about anything that happens to him. The “I don’t care” part I absolutely agreed with, as it wasn’t nearly as funny or as big of a deal as he made it seem out to be. As for the “Finish your fucking stream” part… Well, there might be some underlying issues/arguments there. I find it so hard to believe Kat doesn’t know how big of a lolcow Phil is and he’s probably not any better offline. I think even though her situation is probably at least bearable, as been described above, having to deal with this entitled man-child every day is probably starting to get to her.
 
Cistern Rumbler said:
One of my favorite clips, but to get the full effect you really have to zoom in on Kat's face as she goes from normal to seething with jealousy.

Kat.mp4
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I want to see the look on her face if/when she finds/found out that her honeymoon was the exact same trip that DSP took Leanna on for their "leaving Connecticut forever bucket list". She's a real special gal.
 
I for the life of me can't understand a damn thing Katherine says in that clip, but I think Phil's much clearer dialogue gives us a sufficient enough glimpse into what kind of inane bullshit she has to deal with on a regular basis. Regardless of how she reacts outwardly or inwardly, she knows Mr. Potatohead is not all there, and not about to be broken by that kind of hermit moment. She's too used to them.

Things could get interesting when Phil is finally about to really lose the condo, though...
 
Cistern Rumbler said:
I think as soon as she heard Dave read out "crazy ex" her mind went to PandaLee. :story:
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Or it could be self-projection. Catherine is a cheater, and is the "crazy ex" of Subaru Jeff. She's probably been in that role numerous times. I find it hard to believe she'd feel any jealousy concerning Phil's bullshit stories.
 
darkwingosonichugorl said:
Or it could be self-projection. Catherine is a cheater, and is the "crazy ex" of Subaru Jeff. She's probably been in that role numerous times. I find it hard to believe she'd feel any jealousy concerning Phil's bullshit stories.
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Cheaters cheat. In my experience they assume everyone else will or has cheated because of their projection. They don't think it's a big deal as long as it isn't happening to them. Anytime they see a sign is cause for concern, though. They've been there, done that. The best case for Kat is that she views their relationship as purely transactional. I genuinely don't understand how they could have any semblance of a normal functional relationship.

We've all been in some shit that's unhealthy or not ideal. I got nothing to compare to Dave + Soulmare. I suspect most people don't
 
Ever since DSP married Kat he has been the biggest pussy about romancing characters in video games. Is Kat just that emotionally immature that she can't handle Phil talking to girls in video games? Or maybe did Kat catch Phil talking to another fan girl and that has potentially gotten him into trouble causing her to go into a full on fragile jealous state?
 
Alex Mercer said:
Ever since DSP married Kat he has been the biggest pussy about romancing characters in video games. Is Kat just that emotionally immature that she can't handle Phil talking to girls in video games? Or maybe did Kat catch Phil talking to another fan girl and that has potentially gotten him into trouble causing her to go into a full on fragile jealous state?
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She's an autistic woman with a history of cheating and inability to live in one place long due to issues.

She's absolutely fragile as fuck.

I wonder if she'd say she doesn't have any favorite waifus because she's married though....
 
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