Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

[Big Brown Schlub]

Little Phillip? He was 18.

I mean he said he was an immature who was still growing up when referring to his early 30s so in Dave terms 18 is the same as being an infant.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Little Phillip? He was 18.

Still qualifies as "little", just in his brain, because he was also 18 when he believed wrestling was real.

Ironic because that would make her more likely to cheat if she isn't getting any from him. What a Phil thing to do.

Especially since he already lost a woman from not dicking her, and getting prudish any time she was trying to get dicked.

BTW, you have no idea how glad I am that Leanna (unintentionally) punked him out like that. Anyone who thought he just sucked at video games, that image was gone after watching his vlogs from that time, almost entirely because of her. lol

 

[UncleTusky]

Phil went on a rant last night, most of it was stuff we've heard before but at the end he started talking about how hard life is for Kat (file is attached).

Let's go through these in detail, quotes are paraphrased because I am lazy and Phil's voice is grating:
* Kat is getting her hours changed on short notice and she wants to work somewhere that people respect her. Short notice shift changes are a standard BS move to pressure people into quitting so that management does not have to fire them and pay severance. That plus Phil's comment makes me think she's very unpopular with her coworkers due to lousy work or just plain being weird, which is also going to feed into "give her more than her share of lousy shifts".
* "The job you get [in the US} is based off of your experience". This is how it works everywhere Phil, age and financial need don't play a huge role especially in important and high-paying jobs - hell there are some jobs (banks being the obvious one) where "I need the money" is a great way to get demoted.
* "This is all she can get". So she has no special training or experience. Remember when he claimed her company was transferring her out to Renton based on her track record back in Michigan?
* "Retail is OK when they keep their word, but it's terrible when they don't": Phil is right but he is also such a hypocrite. He doesn't care about whether the stores he shops at do right by their workers and you know he'd throw a hissy fit if they permanently reduced hours or had an unplanned closure due to lack of staff.
* Kat needs to see a doctor and none of them can see her sooner than 3-4 weeks from now because of Covid. From my own experience this means she is looking for a new doctor - I needed to wait a month (or longer) for an appointment with my new GP but now that I'm a current patient in his system it's more like 1-2 weeks (and his nurses can pinch-hit if that is not doable). Do we know if Phil has mentioned her having doctors other than a psychiatrist?

None of this is hilarious but it certainly puts a hole in the "Kat is boring"/"Kat is a blank slab" theories, she's sounding a lot more like an inept, self-important brat. It certainly helps explain why she needed to move so much during her couch surfing days.

 

[BepsiLight]

None of this is hilarious but it certainly puts a hole in the "Kat is boring"/"Kat is a blank slab" theories, she's sounding a lot more like an inept, self-important brat.

I'm no psychologist or anything but she's starting to sound a lot like Panda. Does Phil have a thing for dumb mentally underdeveloped women?

 

[tigerbloodman]

I'm no psychologist or anything but she's starting to sound a lot like Panda. Does Phil have a thing for dumb mentally underdeveloped women?

They're the only ones who will pretend to like him.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Phil went on a rant last night, most of it was stuff we've heard before but at the end he started talking about how hard life is for Kat (file is attached).

Let's go through these in detail, quotes are paraphrased because I am lazy and Phil's voice is grating:
* Kat is getting her hours changed on short notice and she wants to work somewhere that people respect her. Short notice shift changes are a standard BS move to pressure people into quitting so that management does not have to fire them and pay severance. That plus Phil's comment makes me think she's very unpopular with her coworkers due to lousy work or just plain being weird, which is also going to feed into "give her more than her share of lousy shifts".
* "The job you get [in the US} is based off of your experience". This is how it works everywhere Phil, age and financial need don't play a huge role especially in important and high-paying jobs - hell there are some jobs (banks being the obvious one) where "I need the money" is a great way to get demoted.
* "This is all she can get". So she has no special training or experience. Remember when he claimed her company was transferring her out to Renton based on her track record back in Michigan?
* "Retail is OK when they keep their word, but it's terrible when they don't": Phil is right but he is also such a hypocrite. He doesn't care about whether the stores he shops at do right by their workers and you know he'd throw a hissy fit if they permanently reduced hours or had an unplanned closure due to lack of staff.
* Kat needs to see a doctor and none of them can see her sooner than 3-4 weeks from now because of Covid. From my own experience this means she is looking for a new doctor - I needed to wait a month (or longer) for an appointment with my new GP but now that I'm a current patient in his system it's more like 1-2 weeks (and his nurses can pinch-hit if that is not doable). Do we know if Phil has mentioned her having doctors other than a psychiatrist?

None of this is hilarious but it certainly puts a hole in the "Kat is boring"/"Kat is a blank slab" theories, she's sounding a lot more like an inept, self-important brat. It certainly helps explain why she needed to move so much during her couch surfing days.

The biggest issue here is you are basing all this on a proven liar's tale.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

None of this is hilarious but it certainly puts a hole in the "Kat is boring"/"Kat is a blank slab" theories, she's sounding a lot more like an inept, self-important brat. It certainly helps explain why she needed to move so much during her couch surfing days.

It basically boils down to "retail jobs suck" which is about the most lukewarm take I can imagine. I don't think her work schedule is her job trying to get her to quit or anything. She's a part time worker, and not even one of the ones who is approaching full time hours, at least based on what we previously knew of her schedule. This is around the time the summer seasonal workers are leaving to go back to college, so part time schedule changes aren't unexpected. While I don't think it's a stretch to say Khet is annoyed by this, I can't help but wonder if DSP is maybe exaggerating it because he's actually getting pissed off, since he's so autistic about scheduling changes. God forbid he has to change his usual day off.

It is kinda funny to hear Phil say Kat has no experience and can't get a good job and admitting all she can get is some lowly retail position. If Kat watched his streams, I bet she'd be offended.

The doctor thing is potentially interesting, but like you said, probably just her getting a new physician. Although, again, I wonder if this is Phil possibly projecting and the medical appointment is actually for him, but he needs Kat to take him. I'm just basing that off of Phil alluding to medical issues, but, because it's Phil, those issues could be the same mystery ailment his parents were suffering from, aka, nothing.

 

[Balr0g]

I'm no psychologist or anything but she's starting to sound a lot like Panda. Does Phil have a thing for dumb mentally underdeveloped women?

So when will Kat wake up and start to act like a troll to Phil? Or is it already starting like that case with Hamburgerhelper? Panda seems to have evolved into a somewhat good woman so who knows if Kat will start that route too.

 

[AcidityLiquidity]

So when will Kat wake up and start to act like a troll to Phil? Or is it already starting like that case with Hamburgerhelper? Panda seems to have evolved into a somewhat good woman so who knows if Kat will start that route too.

There was a clip where someone cranked up the audio and you could hear Kat behind super cunty to the Pig. I imagine she is quite the detractor 'behind da scenes' towards him, but since they are basically just roommates he grins and bears it so he can sip gin and crank it.

 

[Fapcop]

I'm no psychologist or anything but she's starting to sound a lot like Panda. Does Phil have a thing for dumb mentally underdeveloped women?

Panda managed to turn a hobby into a reasonably successful business after leaving Phil.
She has also been smart enough to distance herself as far from DSP as possible after the breakup. A dumb girl would have made an account here or “spilled the tea” in some detractor channel or some shit like that. And never had been able to tear herself away from DSPs toxic brand.

She’s neither dumb or mentally underdeveloped.

If anything it was the proximity to Phil that might have made her seem that way.

The doctor thing is potentially interesting, but like you said, probably just her getting a new physician. Although, again, I wonder if this is Phil possibly projecting and the medical appointment is actually for him, but he needs Kat to take him. I'm just basing that off of Phil alluding to medical issues, but, because it's Phil, those issues could be the same mystery ailment his parents were suffering from, aka, nothing.

If it was for Phil he probably wouldn’t mention it at all out of paranoia. “Now the brainless detractors are claiming I have AIDS ACK! ACK! ACK!”

It would be interesting to call doctors in their local area and see what wait times are. I’ll bet regular physicians can see you in a week or two, but psychiatrists have a month long wait.

Anyways, with Khat’s background it wouldn’t exactly be a shocker if she needed a shrink or meds. AND she’s living with DSP for fucks sake!

 

[Kosher Dill]

Panda managed to turn a hobby into a reasonably successful business after leaving Phil.

I thought she gave up the soap biz and left behind all her supplies for Phil to take to the dump for years thereafter.

 

[Balr0g]

I thought she gave up the soap biz and left behind all her supplies for Phil to take to the dump for years thereafter.

From what I understood is that Panda still makes her soap but it is something of a side income. James the lesser bought some of it IIRC. Can't buy something when it's no longer ion production unless Phil sold of the storage Panda made.

 

[Fapcop]

From what I understood is that Panda still makes her soap but it is something of a side income. James the lesser bought some of it IIRC. Can't buy something when it's no longer ion production unless Phil sold of the storage Panda made.

Yeah, last I checked, which granted, was a while ago, her soap business was up and running.

Considering she never had to declare bankruptcy, and for sure works harder at her side gig than Phil does at his main jawb, I think it’s safe to say that she’s the more successful business person of the two.

ACK! ACK! ACK!

 

[Super Dent Head]

From what I understood is that Panda still makes her soap but it is something of a side income. James the lesser bought some of it IIRC. Can't buy something when it's no longer ion production unless Phil sold of the storage Panda made.

She does seemingly still sell the soap, on etsy, changed the name to Grunge Bunny Studios though.

 

[Fapcop]

She does seemingly still sell the soap, on etsy, changed the name to Grunge Bunny Studios though.

Funny how Mr. Business School degree Burnell doesn’t understand how toxic his brand is, when his own ex tries to flee it as far away as possible.

(If Phil had even a reasonable non-ironic following, Panda could have cashed in on that with her soaps. Just ten percent of “da silent majority” would add up to quite a few soaps!)

I remember how folks came up with zany conspiracy theories about Phil supposedly paid her big bucks for an NDA (fucking LOL! Phil giving money away? When he can just lie and say: “Didn’t happen!”)

The reality is much more boring: Panda was just smart enough to realize how toxic Phil is, and that she’ll forever be known as “DSPs Ex” if she starts talking.

 

[Super Dent Head]

Funny how Mr. Business School degree Burnell doesn’t understand how toxic his brand is, when his own ex tries to flee it as far away as possible.

(If Phil had even a reasonable non-ironic following, Panda could have cashed in on that with her soaps. Just ten percent of “da silent majority” would add up to quite a few soaps!)

I remember how folks came up with zany conspiracy theories about Phil supposedly paid her big bucks for an NDA (fucking LOL! Phil giving money away? When he can just lie and say: “Didn’t happen!”)

The reality is much more boring: Panda was just smart enough to realize how toxic Phil is, and that she’ll forever be known as “DSPs Ex” if she starts talking.

I wouldn't want my real name attached to Phil, so she played the situation well by changing the name of her side-gig.

Her soaps are a little expensive (as is postage if you don't live in the US but that's most things on Etsy) but they're apparently high quality and pretty worth the buy. She's done well for herself, honestly. Especially if you put her success next to Phil's failure.

There's no way Phil would give away money. He didn't even want to pay his friends what they were owed from Project 7. Leanna just learned when to talk and when to leave well enough alone.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

I wouldn't want my real name attached to Phil, so she played the situation well by changing the name of her side-gig.

Her soaps are a little expensive (as is postage if you don't live in the US but that's most things on Etsy) but they're apparently high quality and pretty worth the buy. She's done well for herself, honestly. Especially if you put her success next to Phil's failure.

There's no way Phil would give away money. He didn't even want to pay his friends what they were owed from Project 7. Leanna just learned when to talk and when to leave well enough alone.

The other upside to her just walking away is Phil will forever live in paranoia that she'll change her mind and spill the beans.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I'm always really puzzled by the confusion over Phil and his fear of waifus. Not hating, but I'd think on an internet forum you'd have more people familiar with the concept of being wigged out by intimacy.

And that's really what it is; notice that when Phil was in his "horndog" phase, he was still weird about intimacy. When he played Mass Effect he wouldn't just try to pursue one person, he was trying to get laid as much as possible. He would deliberately act like an obnoxious slobbering pervert towards attractive characters. He would never ever play it straight or express any kind of legitimate affection towards anyone. He'd put on a show, but he'd ALWAYS maintain emotional distance from everyone, real or virtual.

Not to get too much into the human condition or anything, but the way women often deal with fear of abandonment or of being taken advantage of tends to more commonly be through codependency or BPD type behaviors. The way men tend to deal with it is by rejecting attachment entirely. Phil is a man who feels inferior and small in a world where people and things come and go constantly, and as a means of coping with it he's adopted a view of the world based upon dollars and cents, based on what he can objectively gain out of his relationships and interactions.

He COULD have paid the guys who worked on Project 7, he COULD have showed concern for Panda's obvious anxiety issues rather than whining about the hospital visit, he COULD do things for his fans just out of a sense of appreciation rather than for pay, but he's extremely averse to the concept of giving anything to others who might take him for granted.

Here's a very revealing recent Phil rant (sorry for the meme edits, it's from a Soma Julius Cruz video):

Philburt's hurt by the fact that he was "duped" into even complimenting Tevin. That was a grave error in his mind. He showed his belly and his trust was taken advantage of (at least in his warped view of the world). He'll ensure he never repeats the embarrassing mistake of giving anything to anyone who might betray him ever again.

The thing is, you could (rightfully) argue that he's in the wrong in most of these situations and is, in fact, the one taking advantage of people, but that's in the eye of the beholder. In his self centered mind the risk he's exposing his ego to by letting his guard down is already a monumental expense, and thus he expects (often material) compensation or he sees the other party is dishonest and predatory.
Obviously an attitude like that is going to completely hamstring any relationships, which is why Phil wouldn't fuck Leanna and almost certainly hasn't fucked Kat since...maybe ever, who knows. They're glorified roomates who never get too close, because he makes sure there's a comfortable emotional distance between them at all times.


I believe a secondary factor in his prudishness is cope.
I wish I could find the text of the study, but I've multiple times heard allusions to a study from back in 1975 when a couple sociologists did an experiment where they had a very attractive woman walk down a street and they'd just follow her and observe people's reactions.
While some men obviously gawked, strangely a fair number strongly avoided her, some going so far as to actually cross the street to do so.

This could potentially have been to avoid temptation, but another hypothesis was that seeing reminders of beautiful women they know they'll never have just makes them feel more inadequate and lonely/dissatisfied. People are happy with their lot in life so long as they're able to tell themselves they're satisfied with it.

Philburt needs to tell himself his life is great and he's happy with it, but seeing romance and cute virtual girls all vying for his affection dredges up the feelings of how sorely lacking his romantic life actually is that he tries so hard to suppress, and it hurts him, so he reacts aggressively to any attempts to push him into it and subsequently nurses his wounds with constant reassurances that he's happily married, so happily married, to his beautiful wife that definitely doesn't look like a horse in a marriage that he definitely didn't enter into purely because he was getting older and figured he had to lock someone down so he wouldn't die alone and could try to comfort himself with the idea he's doing what he's supposed to do.

I mean, I do understand where he's coming from to some extent. Shit, it's kind of how I feel about the bizarre anime people and their fucking waifus; like nigger, I get you're lonely and like cute anime girls or whatever, but your waifu doesn't exist, so why do you obsess over her and constantly plaster pictures of her everywhere? Do you just enjoy taunting yourself with reminders of what you want but can't have? It would be like a starving guy watching the food network, why would you do that to yourself?


I guess my point here is that DSP is neither a tough guy to figure out, nor, much more depressingly, is his way of thinking about relationships all that uncommon anymore. This is the 21st century condition, ladies and gentlemen. Emotional detachment and trust/intimacy issues are the norm, and anyone who can't relate to him at least somewhat should feel really fortunate.

PS: I swear to god if Michael Jenke or whoever doesn't stop DDOSing the forum so you can actually write and post things I'm going to pray to goddess Christine Weston Chandler to smite him down.

 

[AlexiTheTrucker]

Funny how Mr. Business School degree Burnell doesn’t understand how toxic his brand is, when his own ex tries to flee it as far away as possible.

(If Phil had even a reasonable non-ironic following, Panda could have cashed in on that with her soaps. Just ten percent of “da silent majority” would add up to quite a few soaps!)

I remember how folks came up with zany conspiracy theories about Phil supposedly paid her big bucks for an NDA (fucking LOL! Phil giving money away? When he can just lie and say: “Didn’t happen!”)

The reality is much more boring: Panda was just smart enough to realize how toxic Phil is, and that she’ll forever be known as “DSPs Ex” if she starts talking.

Panda also stands to gain nothing from engaging with detractors. Phil fucked up the relationship and she is gone. She still sells the soaps, from what you can tell from her instagram she has a non customer facing job, she has what looks to be an affordable car, and she is probably in some form of relationship with somebody. Does this make her a good person? No. She was a weird shit (granted she was younger) and she knowingly allowed Phil to scam his wheelchairs. She only left when things got bad for her. Looping back around, she does seem to be moving her life in a more productive direction.

Kat is female Phil and she is proving it more and more. I would not doubt she is packing on the pounds. She looked a little bloated in the wedding picture and she has not been on camera in years. Phil thought he was luring in a catch with the paid for trips to the Wakhando and the money he was spending. That once he locked Khet down he could be the usual slob he always has been. Which he did do but I am guessing she did the exact same. You attract more flies with honey right? She kept the weight down and made juvenile attempts at being the homemaker while they were dating. She has him by the balls now that they are married.

"Want me to work? Sure. I can work retail. Sometimes." "Clown mode? That's great Phil. Clean yourself up and get away. It's not funny." "I am going to sleep in my office tonight Phil. Keep the noise down while you are watching tv. Ok?" "Yeah, I have gained weight but I don't really have the time to work out ya know. I got to go find another doctor and that takes too much time. I can just buy some clothes while we are out on Tuesday." "I don't really feel like cooking today. Grubhub is just easier. We don't have anything beyond sandwich stuff, pasta, and hamburger helper. I am just not feeling any of that."

From how everything sounds, their marriage is neither good or bad, it just exists. They probably say "I love you" but in that way where its something to fill the silence. There is no long term. Just routine. Which wouldn't work for me but I imagine is fine with Phil. As we have all said before, she existed to show the trolls that they were beta incels and Phil was the alpha chad. If she left, he would be mad because he lost that one up card on his haters. That is it. Just my take though.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

I wouldn't say Phil fucked up the relationship. He was always the fat lump that didn't want to do anything except spend money to look like a mahtoor adult and to get Leanna away from her parents. He never gave a shit about her other than showing off the loli that's out of his league to people online. He was always annoyed by her. And she was an unabashed starchaser that wants to leech off some sap for her entire life.

Leanna really was the female version of Phil, she just realized she could do better once she got outside more and most importantly, Phil's star was consistently falling and he was never going to be that level of celebrity Leanna dreamed about.

We don't know much about Catherine other than she's also a lazy leech and she's mentally insane with a horrible upbringing. It's probably safe to assume she's gotten fat and isn't the soulmaid surrogate mother he wanted because Phil would be bragging about her like he used to.

Whatever, I just want the divorce saga to start because it's the only interesting story arc left that could break Phil and lead to comedy.