Kevin Gibes / Kathryn Gibes / TransSalamander / RageTreb / The Green Salamander - "Am hole:" The epitomized Twitter MtF you thought was just a myth! Donate to his Transformers toy fund today!

[Spastic Colon]

Finally an explanation for that hair

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On an alpaca farm. Washes his hair once a month. Once a month. I bet he thinks he can slow down his male pattern baldness by just not washing his hair.

And of course he was/is a lumbering troll with massive dandruff. He just needed some Head & Shoulders shampoo. Maybe he was overdoing it with the showers back in the day (because he was probably in there jacking off for privacy since he claimed he didn't have any because of his mom). I guess now that he can go pantless and finger himself in front of everyone -- he doesn't need to shower anymore.

Kev's even grosser than I imagined. Considering his face looks like the surface of the moon, I'd bet he has oily skin. Usually you have oily hair if you have oily skin. So, he probably needs to wash his hair more often than most because of that. He just needed to use less harsh products -- not stop washing his hair altogether. Ew ...

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Does he even have a bedroom? In one of the photos he posted of his hairy legs you could see someone else watching TV or something in the background of the photo. I think he lives in an alcove like that dude from Full House.

Under the stairs, in a closet, like Tranny Potter, or in a chest, under locks, like The Gimp, etc.

They said it's 900 lbs of alpaca wool. I don't know how it is bundled or how much the truck could hold. That's the only reason I could see it would cost $2000 for the trip.

Whoops, I missed the part where they said "900 pounds of alpaca fiber" in the tweet. That sounds like a lot of fucking wool.

900 pounds isn't too much for a pick-up truck like their Silverado, since the maximum payload is around 1900 pounds. I'd say the real issue is the volume. I'm not an expert on the relative density of wool, but DuckDuckgo gave me a neat calculator tool.
For our purposes, let's assume alpaca wool is just like regular old sheep wool in terms of relative density, so that means it weighs 0.04 tonnes - 88.3 pounds, let's just round it up to 90 - per cubic feet, bringing us to a bit over ten cubic feet for 900 pounds.

Never mind, according to this spec sheet, the cargo capacity is 53-61 cubic feet, so they're safe there as well. Their personal luggage won't take up much space either, so fuel is going to be the biggest expense.

 

[homewayhalf]

Under the stairs, in a closet, like Tranny Potter, or in a chest, under locks, like The Gimp, etc.


900 pounds isn't too much for a pick-up truck like their Silverado, since the maximum payload is around 1900 pounds. I'd say the real issue is the volume. I'm not an expert on the relative density of wool, but DuckDuckgo gave me a neat calculator tool.
For our purposes, let's assume alpaca wool is just like regular old sheep wool in terms of relative density, so that means it weighs 0.04 tonnes - 88.3 pounds, let's just round it up to 90 - per cubic feet, bringing us to a bit over ten cubic feet for 900 pounds.

Never mind, according to this spec sheet, the cargo capacity is 53-61 cubic feet, so they're safe there as well. Their personal luggage won't take up much space either, so fuel is going to be the biggest expense.

What about their dilation schedules what with driving across the country for 4 days?

jk, you know Penny and Bonnie still have their dicks.

 

[Particle Bored]

Ranch update! So the 'mill' I guess is to do with treating the alpaca fibre...in Washington. Another great financial decision from Troon Inc.

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Indeed, 'aran', I too was wondering that.
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What are Penny's 'public records'?
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Wait what? Kevin. You don't have to do that in front of guests. You're literally insane. I wonder what accoomodation the guest troons are staying in? A barn? The tin cottage?
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This actually spooked me. The cold dead eyes
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FedEx Freight ain't cheap? SHOCKER. UPS Freight will take a couple skids (~80cuft each) for like $400-600.

For $3000 they could ship an entire 40ft container with 10,000 pounds to Washington. Fucking morons.

And .308 isnt 'impressive,' Bonnie. Get back to us when you've got a Barrett 50cal.

 

[Lurk]

Kev's even grosser than I imagined. Considering his face looks like the surface of the moon, I'd bet he has oily skin. Usually you have oily hair if you have oily skin. So, he probably needs to wash his hair more often than most because of that. He just needed to use less harsh products -- not stop washing his hair altogether. Ew ...

Can confirm, I have oily skin and oily hair, I almost always wash my hair daily because if I don't then by the afternoon of the second day it feels like I dipped it in a pan of grease. Sometimes it do be like that.

I bet Kev smells of dirty hair and unwashed scalp. Absolutely disgusting.

 

[Spunt]

Under the stairs, in a closet, like Tranny Potter, or in a chest, under locks, like The Gimp, etc.


900 pounds isn't too much for a pick-up truck like their Silverado, since the maximum payload is around 1900 pounds. I'd say the real issue is the volume. I'm not an expert on the relative density of wool, but DuckDuckgo gave me a neat calculator tool.
For our purposes, let's assume alpaca wool is just like regular old sheep wool in terms of relative density, so that means it weighs 0.04 tonnes - 88.3 pounds, let's just round it up to 90 - per cubic feet, bringing us to a bit over ten cubic feet for 900 pounds.

Never mind, according to this spec sheet, the cargo capacity is 53-61 cubic feet, so they're safe there as well. Their personal luggage won't take up much space either, so fuel is going to be the biggest expense.

They may have factored in losing 2 people and the truck for 4 days. No driving around drug dealers Amish roofers, 64+ troon-hours of work lost, Kevin being unattended and trying to hump the generator etc.

As others have said there are much cheaper, if slower, freight methods. Or maybe there might be one fucking business in all of Colorado that can process Alpaca wool? And if not, why in the flying fuck did they build an Alpaca ranch there?

Either that or it's a cover to go to Washington to pick up / drop off a large quantity of ... merchandise that might get intercepted in the post and get them in big trouble...

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

I bet Kev smells of dirty hair and unwashed scalp. Absolutely disgusting.

Rainbow rating 'cause there's no way, no how KevKev could only smell of dirty hair and unwashed scalp.

I was writing a non-comprehensive list of smells I associate with Kevin, but got disgusted halfway and deleted all of it.
Anyway, he's like a Nurgle follower cultivating some potent toxins trying to pose as a Slaaneshi cultist.
And not doing a good job at it.

 

[ValVenus]

I've been thinking about this (how sad), but like, what's the deal with the other 'girlfriend'? 'Jen'. I don't think they've ever been outside and helped with ranch work either.
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All they seem to do is loll around all day indoors opening ...old packs of magic cards (?). So he's also 'owned' by Pennywise. Are they just pets? Will they be usurped? What do they offer?

Replying to myself, but if Kev and 'Jen' are IDK meant to be the 'girls/wives/pets' (?) of the ranch (Both have the 'ditch and don't seem to do any manual labor). In their hilariously 'sexist' set up, shouldn't Jen and AmHole be domestic goddesses? pulling their weight at least by cleaning the house, cooking, or at the very least washing their hair? Every pic from any of the Ranch Troons with the house in the background, looks chaotic with trash, clutter etc.

I honestly think Jen and Kev spend all day, everyday in that room opening magic cards/dilating/twitter until Penny 'lets' them do anything else . I think their 'room' is also open plan. All the shelves of 'stuffies' and Kev's computer and those gross green sheets and rancid blankets seems to be in one area. How horrifying .

Edit:

Jen's erotic writings, now for free!

 

[Chewing Character]

There is an entire community online dedicated to not using shampoo, and even they wash their hair more than Kevin.

 

[SIGSEGV]

why in the flying fuck did they build an Alpaca ranch there?

Dude weed lmao

 

[Spunt]

Isn't weed legal in Washington too though?

Unless they're making meth or bath salts ofc

Replying to myself, but if Kev and 'Jen' are IDK meant to be the 'girls/wives/pets' (?) of the ranch (Both have the 'ditch and don't seem to do any manual labor). In their hilariously 'sexist' set up, shouldn't Jen and AmHole be domestic goddesses? pulling their weight at least by cleaning the house, cooking, or at the very least washing their hair? Every pic from any of the Ranch Troons with the house in the background, looks chaotic with trash, clutter etc.

Would you eat anything Kevin had been in the same room as, let alone cooked?

 

[Putin Bot]

Replying to myself, but if Kev and 'Jen' are IDK meant to be the 'girls/wives/pets' (?) of the ranch (Both have the 'ditch and don't seem to do any manual labor). In their hilariously 'sexist' set up, shouldn't Jen and AmHole be domestic goddesses? pulling their weight at least by cleaning the house, cooking, or at the very least washing their hair? Every pic from any of the Ranch Troons with the house in the background, looks chaotic with trash, clutter etc.

I honestly think Jen and Kev spend all day, everyday in that room opening magic cards/dilating/twitter until Penny 'lets' them do anything else . I think their 'room' is also open plan. All the shelves of 'stuffies' and Kev's computer and those gross green sheets and rancid blankets seems to be in one area. How horrifying .

Edit:
View attachment 1440448
Jen's erotic writings, now for free!

This is the funny thing about troons that I’ve noticed. They want to LARP as women, but only the parts they fetishize about. Dressing up in girly or slutty outfits, acting like children/teenagers or dumb, ditzy bimbos, being helpless weak things...Yet when it comes to stereotypical women’s work?

 

[Constellationzero]

Yet when it comes to stereotypical women’s work?

Fixed that for you.

 

[Sperghetti]

This is the funny thing about troons that I’ve noticed. They want to LARP as women, but only the parts they fetishize about. Dressing up in girly or slutty outfits, acting like children/teenagers or dumb, ditzy bimbos, being helpless weak things...Yet when it comes to stereotypical women’s work?

I think key word there is "work". They don't want to just be women, they want to be trophy wives.

 

[In the Sick of It]

Didn't they say they were flying back? Renting a truck one way is easily over a grand, you get charged extra for dropping it off at a distant location.

 

[Particle Bored]

Didn't they say they were flying back? Renting a truck one way is easily over a grand, you get charged extra for dropping it off at a distant location.

Like Bonnie's container fort, they love stacking stupid on top of stupid.

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

New "guests"? Well I guess whatever eldritch horror lives in amhole needs fresh sacrifices or it comes out and enslaves humanity for all eternity.

Seriously tho if amhole wasn't such a disgusting mess Kevin Cumbrain would love to show it to guests and brag about it on twitter. The stench must be horrible. A bunch Troons who lack basic hygiene AND a rotting amhole...perhaps the army should look into it (heh) because this could be used for biological warfare.

 

[Club Sandwich]

.308

that's a belted magnum case. maybe 7mm Rem Mag or .300 Win Mag judging from the case shoulder and overall length. a good cartridge for plains game like bison if the JSP is heavy enough.

Like Bonnie's container fort, they love stacking stupid on top of stupid.

i think i mentioned a bit in the other trans ranch (they're multiplying) that i've built bunkers and stuff using containers before. they are only stackable on the corners - you cannot safely stack them cross-wise because they are not load bearing other than the four corners (and rarely have additional support internally). stacking containers the way drawn in their housing/barn diagram will crush the two supporting containers if they are not reinforced with actual load-bearing structure, on a properly built concrete/aggregate pad, and so forth.

]what's a little odd is that building with containers was something pretty regular while i was in the military, since a lot of stuff was shipped in them and we reused them for scrap metal and for dispensaries, bunkers, command posts, et c where a GP tent wouldn't work or something more permanent was needed. this has been a thing since the 1970's when containerization got really popular for force projection and expeditionary deployments.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Would you eat anything Kevin had been in the same room as, let alone cooked?

Has it been discussed what Kevin eats? I've never seen the topic come up. Ranch living is hard but I don't see these degenerate faggots eating rough. Does Kevin get by on standard ranch fare (beef, dried fruits and veggies, potatoes, basic stews/soups, and coffee)?

Since, like his womanhood, he makes no attempt to actually pass as a farmhand, I assume Kevin isn't out there eating only what he catches. Is he flying in crates of lunchables and frozen pizzas? Forcing some DoorDash employees to drive ~40 minutes out to him with the chicken tendies?

 

[Buttfuck McGee Returns]

Has it been discussed what Kevin eats? I've never seen the topic come up. Ranch living is hard but I don't see these degenerate faggots eating rough. Does Kevin get by on standard ranch fare (beef, dried fruits and veggies, potatoes, basic stews/soups, and coffee)?

Since, like his womanhood, he makes no attempt to actually pass as a farmhand, I assume Kevin isn't out there eating only what he catches. Is he flying in crates of lunchables and frozen pizzas? Forcing some DoorDash employees to drive ~40 minutes out to him with the chicken tendies?

From what I remember he mostly feeds on amhole rot